A/N Thanks for all the reviews! Here are the Death Eaters, and their Dark Lord of the Bunnies.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything!
"Exactly what is it you're doing?" Voldemort aka The Dark Lord, aka Moldywart, aka Tom Riddle, aka psycho with a wand aka hypocrite of the century aka the Dark Lord of Fuzzy Pink Bunnies asked walking up to his death eaters who were hunched over a magazine.
"Er, well My Lord, when we were off on our latest muggle killings…" Macanair aka as dude who likes to kill innocent hippogriffs started while Voldemort nodded as if it were a fond memory. Which to him it was.
"We found this magazine, and it had this interesting article that analyzes your personality based on how you eat those muggle cookies Oreos.
"The chocolate ones, with the crème filling?" Voldemort asked.
"Yes, indeed, those, are the ones, My Lord."
"Pettigrew, go fetch me some Oreos." Voldemort ordered.
"Y-yes, My lord." Peter aka evil dumb ass that betrayed his friends and deserves death said as he hastened to comply with the task Psycho with A Wand had given him. Peter returned and kneeled and Moldywart's feet offering him the package of cookies.
"How do you eat your Oreos, Peter?" Tom Riddle inquired.
"I lick them, My Lord." Peter responded. Tommy waved a hand at Lucius who red the caption.
"Stay away from small furry animals and seek professional medical help – immediately." Lucius said.
"What does it say about me?" Voldemort said ignoring Peter's rapidly turning red face as he idly ate only the chocolate part of the cookie.
"It says 'You enjoy Pain,' My Lord." Lucius read.
"I rather like this quiz." Voldemort said nodding. The death eaters looked pleased that they had managed to please Hypocrite of the Century. "And what does it say of you Lucius?" The Dark Lord asked mildly interested. Lucius wrinkled up his nose.
"I don't eat Oreos." Lucius said. "So, I am not sure what it says about me."
"Do not fear, Lucius there is an entry for that to." Snape said in a silky voice. "It says this, 'You probably come from a rich family, and like to wear nice things, and go to up-scale restaurants. You are particular and fussy about the things you buy, own, and wear. Things have to be just right. You like to be pampered. You are a priss.'" Snape smirked at his fellow death eater. Lucius shrugged it was true after all. Voldemort looked amused.
"And how do you like to eat your Oreos, Severus?" Lucius drawled.
"He twists it apart and eats the inside but not the cookie." Goyle volunteered. Lucius snatched the magazine from Snape and cleared his throat before continuing.
"'You are good at business and take risks that pay off. You take what you want and throw the rest away. You are greedy, selfish, mean, and lack feelings for others. You should be ashamed of yourself. But that's ok, you don't care, you got yours.'" Snape shrugged nonplussed, it was true. Voldemort clapped his hands excitedly. He could feel a plan forming. But first he must confirm the authenticity of this quiz. He would test it on Bella.
"How do you eat you Oreos, Bella?" The Dark Lord of Fuzzy Pink Bunnies inquired.
"I take small quick bites." Bella said quickly eager to please her lord of the bunnies.
"Your boss likes you because you get your work done quickly. You always have a million things to do and never enough time to do them. Mental breakdowns and suicides run in your family. Valium and Ritalin would do you good." Rodolophus read to his wife.
"Indeed." Voldemort said with a nod. "I have a plan!" He said causing all the death eaters to lean forward eagerly. "I will kill the boy Potter, by changing his Oreo eating method!" The lord of all things fuzzy and bunnylike exclaimed triumphantly. "By forcing him to eat his Oreos one bite at a time he will according to this article become normal! Listen to this, 'You are lucky to be one of the 5.4 billion other people who eat their Oreos this very same way. Just like them, you lack imagination, but that's okay, not to worry, you're normal.' And if Potter is normal, he can die, and I will be SUPREME RULER OF THE BUNNIES, I mean er the WORLD." The Bunny Lord announced. The death eaters gaped at him but hurried to applaud as though terrified he would kill anyone who did not agree to his plan. Voldemort let out a maniacal laugh and began eating another Oreo.
A/N Review!