A/N Hello, everyone, I have returned with an update! :D I am sorry that it is sixteen minutes late, but my mom interrupted me to talk about dorm room stuff. :P
Thanks to all Reviewers!
Dedication: To Loony L who in 2008 in a review to the first chapter called on me to represent the little known cookie then cream eaters.
Disclaimer: I own nada.
The Ravenclaws were a simple house really, they liked to learn, ponder intellectual questions and philosophize, and they stayed out of most inter-house feuds considering themselves to be above the fray. On the whole, they didn't like things that couldn't be solidly proven based on logic, but of course there are exceptions to every rule, like Luna Lovegood, to name one.
Thus, it can be said that the Ravenclaws were less than pleased when their head of house Filius Flitwick had walked into their common room and ordered them to, get this, put down their books, he then told them they were going to take a test of sorts.
A test they could understand, tests were after all what they did best, although a few were concerned about the lack of preparation, the majority of them enjoyed the challenge they associated with pop quizzes.
"What is the test about?" Penelope Clearwater, head girl, and girlfriend to Percy Weasley asked.
"Oreos." Their professor had replied with a sigh. "It's an exam that determines your personality based on how you eat an oreo cookie, which is a chocolate sandwich style cookie with a crème filling, there are seventy calories in an oreo, and they weigh about eighteen ounces." Flitwick said knowing how his students liked to be informed of all the facts.
"Professor?" Lisa Turnpin, a half-blood asked raising he hand.
"Yes, Miss Turnpin?"
"Are we being punked?" She demanded. Many of the other muggleborns and halfbloods nodded in assent.
"Now, now, let's just try to think of this a-a" Flitwick seemed to search for something that they would relate to. "Learning experience! Yes, that's it! Let's just consider this as an opportunity to learn more about each other, and ourselves."
"Will this be graded?" Su Li called out.
Flitwick could feel a migraine coming on, the likes of which he had not experienced since having the dubious pleasure of teaching Cheering Charms to the Marauders, Marlene McKinnon, and Lily Evans many years ago. Potter and Evans had gotten into an argument, Sirius had spazzed out, Marlene without ever even getting hit by a cheering charm had gone off into a tangent to Caradoc Dearborn about whether he had ever fed carrots to a deer. It had been one of the few moments in his career where he had to dig down deep and ponder why he had decided to become a teacher.
"No." Flitwick replied. "We're going to do it for the sheer joy of learning. I'm sure you can all understand that."
In general, Ravenclaws fell into two camps, there were those who learned for the sake of learning and pondering big intellectual questions, then there were those who while yes, they did like to learn, they did not like to be forced into doing anything unless they were going to receive a grade for it.
Some of them looked rather skeptical but dubiously nodded their assent. Flitwick had a feeling that they would become rather uncooperative when they heard the, er, very scientific approach and conclusions the quiz drew.
"Ms. Quirke why don't you go first?" Flitwick suggested of one of the first year girls.
The first year took an Oreo and twisted it apart eating only the inside and tossing out the cookie.
"You are good at business and take risks that pay off. You take what you want and throw the rest away. You are greedy, selfish, mean, and lack feelings for others. You should be ashamed of yourself. But that's ok, you don't care, you got yours."
Orla was chiefly known for running a black-market business in essays and potions among the first through third year students. Her result came as no surprise to anyone in the room, not even Flitwick, who was aware of her activities but unable thus far to pin anything on her.
The girl seemed unfazed by being described as greedy and selfish, she merely shrugged and returned to working on what Flitwick was fairly sure was an essay Slughorn had assigned to his second year potions class.
"Mr. Ackerley, you're next."
Stewart Ackerley was the epitome of a stressed out smart student, always panicking and rushing about worrying about getting everything done, and managing straight O's frantic that he might get an E one day.
Unsurprisingly, he drew the result of "Your boss likes you because you get your work done quickly. You always have a million things to do and never enough time to do them. Mental breakdowns and suicides run in your family. Valium and Ritalin would do you good."
Flitwick had it on good authority that he could procure those drugs from Su Li who dealt in black-market drugs intended to inspire better focus. He hastily moved on before Su Li could make any offers to the first year. He made his way through the first years relatively quickly with the ruthless efficiency of a Ravenclaw, and moved on to the second years. "Miss Lovegood, you're next."
"Professor, there's a nargle!" Luna exclaimed her eyes wide.
"Yes, yes, dear, I'm sure there is." He replied absently. "Why don't you just eat an oreo, hm?"
Luna, unsurprisingly, did not adhere to any of the rules placed by the quiz. She scrapped off all the cream and set it aside, and ate first the cookie and then the cream.
"Er, there doesn't seem to be a result for that." Flitwick visibly flinched, he had a feeling this would turn out badly.
"What do you meant there's no result?" Roger Davies demanded.
"Er-"
"Are you telling me that the makers of this quiz did not analyze ever possible way in which this cookie could possibly be taken apart and consumed before putting it together and calling it correct?" Mariette Edgecombe exclaimed.
"Well-" Flitwick began again only to be interrupted.
"I really don't think we can continue with this quiz at this point." Padma Patil announced.
"I agree with Padma," Terry Boot added. "If this quiz can't even account for all the possible combinations how can we possibly believe it to be correct?"
"I don't know." Flitwick admitted defeat.
"The answer is simple!" Mandy Brocklehurst announced.
"I'm right there with you, Mandy," Stephen Cornfoot, one of her fellow third years proclaimed. "We should right a letter to the makers of the quiz."
"Not just any letter, Stephen, a strongly-worded letter!" Mandy corrected.
"Genius!" Eddie Carmichael agreed.
"We can even go beyond that." Cho Chang exclaimed.
"Beyond a strongly worded letter?" Steward Ackerley asked in total shock.
"Yes," The older girl confirmed. "We can make it our own personal research project to find all the true combinations and then conduct research on all the Hogwarts students and staff to find the correct descriptions!"
"Wow, that's brilliant, Cho, I hope that when I'm your age I can be as smart as you." Lisa Turnpin exclaimed awe-stricken.
"I have an even better idea," Michael Corner announced.
"What is it?" Penelope Clearwater asked.
"We attach the results of our own study to our strongly worded letter and send it to them so they can see what true research looks like!"
"Yes!" A hurrah went up throughout the room.
Flitwick decided it was best just to back away, slowly while he still could. He left the results with them assuming they would use it as a base of operations for their experiments.
A/N Review! :)