Chapter 5

A couple of days later, the Marauders had gotten used to Sirius's new showering pattern. Remus didn't freak out any more, thinking that Sirius was dying when he was taking a particularly long shower and James had decided that it was his duty to tell Sirius when he was really overdoing his showering time. Especially on the day that Sirius started taking 2 showers a day. James realized that it was his right to take as many showers as he wanted, but he still got fed up when he wanted to use the bathroom and Sirius wouldn't come out, even after being in there for more than an hour. At those times James would yell at him and Sirius would yell back. They had never had more arguments than they had now. But luckily, it were all very small arguments that were forgotten by the time they got to the Great Hall for breakfast or dinner.

"Monday morning," James groaned, while grabbing three croissants, a lot of eggs and bacon, a couple of slices of toast and peanut butter, "I hate Monday mornings."

"You hate every morning," Remus smiled, "You just hate waking up and getting out of your cozy bed."

"Shut up about my bed, Moony," James moaned, "I know I hate every morning, but truly, Monday mornings are the worst."

"Sure Prongs," Peter grinned and he took a bite of his toast. Sirius was hidden behind his Daily Prophet and wasn't listening to his friends. Another habit he had adopted over the last week. It happened more and more often that their breakfast went by with James, Peter and Remus joking and Sirius being completely silent the entire time. Apparently, this was one of those mornings.

"Padfoot?" Remus suddenly asked, when they were nearly finished, "Aren't you eating?"

"No," Sirius answered and he looked over his paper at his friends, "I don't really feel well."

"Are you ill?" James asked worriedly, "Maybe you should go to Pomfrey's then. You do look a little pale."

"Nah," Sirius said, "I'll be better in a couple of hours. No need to worry Pomfrey. She'll have her hands full with Moony in a couple of days anyway. Why give the poor lady more work?"

"This has nothing to do with me, Padfoot," Remus said slowly, "If you're not feeling better by tonight, you have to go to Mme Pomfrey, alright?"

"Sure, mate," Sirius gave him a small smile and went back to his paper. They could hear him sigh from behind it. He was most likely rolling his eyes as well. James stared annoyed at the paper and Remus was certain that he was going to snap at Sirius. Both James and Sirius had been a little on edge lately.

"Don't, Prongs," Remus said softly, when his friend opened his mouth. James looked at him and closed his mouth again. If there was one thing that James found was irresponsible, it was not eating. He had seen what happened with people who didn't eat and didn't want to see it ever again. His cousin Katie had died of anorexia in the summer holiday of their third year. She had been living alone after she had graduated and had gotten stuck in a negative spiral. James had stayed with her for a week during that holiday. He had loved her, but he had never been more scared than that week. She looked awful and she didn't even come out of her bed. It was 'their little secret' she had whispered a couple of hours after he'd arrived, and then she'd winked. "You can keep a secret, right Jim?" She died at the end of their week together. It had been the most awful week of his life.

"Fine," James sighed, "Promise me you'll eat when you feel better, Pads."

"I promise," came from behind the paper. Sirius folded his Daily Prophet and looked James in the eye, "I'm not anorexic, Prongs, my stomach is just a little upset."

James nodded, but there was this funny feeling that was plaguing his mind. He couldn't put a finger on it, but he had this feeling that Sirius's stomach wasn't 'just a little upset'. He just hoped that Sirius wouldn't be the next Katie.

Sirius ate some toast later that day, so Remus wasn't so worried anymore and they didn't force him to go to the hospital wing. James forgot he'd been worried about Sirius's eating pattern, when they crossed Lily and she blamed him for her bad day. Apparently she had lost one of her favorite shoes and she 'just knew' that James had stolen it to annoy her. James didn't even know what shoe she was talking about.

"Why, Potter?" she asked angrily, "Why do you always have to pester me? What did I ever do to you?"

"Come on, Lily," Laura softly said, and she grabbed her hand, pulling her away from the Marauders.

"You made me fall in love with you," James answered Lily's question so softly that nobody could hear his answer but him. He shook his head and looked at his friends, "I need to get some book from the library. You guys can go ahead, I'll see you in the common room, okay?"

"You sure you don't want any company?" Remus asked. James shook his head.

"I'll live. I've never heard of library books eating students anyway," he grinned, "Pads, make sure to be ready for tonight's practice."

"Practice?" Sirius asked, puzzled.

"Quidditch?" came James's very annoyed answer, "Damn Pads, you should really learn our practicing schedule by heart."

"Yeah yeah," Sirius sighed, "I've got you to remember it for me, don't I?"

James gave Sirius a small glare – how on earth could he forget about Quidditch?! – and sighed, before he stalked off to the library. He had always thought that he knew Sirius almost as good as he knew himself, but lately, Sirius was becoming more and more like a mystery to him. He used to be able to predict what his friend was about to say, think or do, but nowadays, he couldn't anymore. He didn't know this Sirius. He wondered what could be wrong with him.

Maybe Sirius was in love. Sirius had never been in love before, but it sure as hell was a reasonable explanation as to why he was acting so bloody weird. Who could he be in love with? Sirius had never really had 'a type' before, so he couldn't tell which girls it certainly couldn't be. If it even was a girl… He tried remembering whether Sirius had dropped anything from which he could conclude that his friend was gay. Sirius had always been a little 'touchy'. He didn't mind lying with his head in someone's lap, not even if it was a boy. Maybe his friend was indeed gay. What if it was him Sirius was in love with. Or Remus. James gasped for breath as a very painful thought struck him: what if it was Lily Sirius was in love with? Or –

"Whoa fuck," he blurted as he walked into someone. Both he and the person he'd run into fell to the ground and they both started apologizing to each other. Then, they looked each other in the eye and burst out laughing.

"James!" Laura laughed and winked, "Idiot."

"Sorry," James grinned, "It's not like you weren't walking in my way."

"Oh so now it's my fault?" she asked, chuckling. James looked into her eyes and a thought struck him so suddenly that he gasped. He knew who Sirius was in love with. It was so obvious.

"Has Sirius spoken to you lately?" James asked her. The twinkle disappeared from her eyes and she shook her head.

"No," she softly answered, "He hasn't spoken to me in over a week. I asked Lily to ask you what I'd done wrong, but according to her you didn't know either."

"I don't, sorry," James said, "I've got to get going, Lau. See you in quidditch tonight?"

"Of course!" she sounded surprised. How could he possibly think she'd forget about quidditch?

They nodded goodbye and James entered the library. He was pretty certain it was Laura Sirius was in love with, but then again, they'd always been nothing more than friends, however the entire school thought differently. If he'd been in love with her, wouldn't he be talking the entire time to her? It wouldn't be suspicious to anyone in any way. Maybe he was afraid to be hurt. She did have a boyfriend whom she truly loved after all. Laura wasn't the kind of girl to be with a boy she didn't love. He'd always appreciated her honesty; she would never lie to someone like that.

Besides, if Sirius was in love with Laura, wouldn't he tell James? James and Sirius told each other everything – apart from the nightly adventures Sirius had had during summer holiday. They never kept a secret from each other. Especially not when it was a secret about girls. No, Sirius would have told James if he indeed was in love with Laura. It would be very possible for him to be in love with her – they'd make a beautiful couple – but James didn't believe anymore that Sirius was in love with her. Sirius probably wasn't in love with anyone. There had to be another explanation to his weird behavior.

Maybe he was lonely – how on earth could he be lonely with such terrific friends as the Marauders? – maybe he missed his family – yeah right, they wish – or maybe he was under a lot of stress – not that 'stress' was in Sirius's dictionary. There probably was no explanation to Sirius's weird behavior at all. It would be very like Sirius to act all weird without a reason. It wouldn't be a first, to say at least.

Soft voices interrupted his thinking, when he had gotten near to the forbidden section of the library. He wondered who was up to no good and was surprised to see Caroline sitting on a conjured chair – seriously, no one would place bright pink chairs in a library – facing Nina Sanders, the Ravenclaw prefect. They smiled timid smiles and Caroline looked kind of nervous. So did Nina actually, now that he thought of it. They softly giggled and they reminded him of the first years who'd giggle behind their hands when they saw him or Sirius strolling around the grounds, shirtless. A little less hysteric, perhaps.

Caroline took a deep breath and opened her mouth to say something – confess something? – when she saw James. She shrieked in terror and jumped up from her chair, looking from James to Nina and back. When the first fear seemed to be over, anger reached her eyes and she went very red.

"Potter!" she screamed, "I hate you! You ruined it all!"

Then, she turned around and walked away angrily, her long blond hair blowing in the wind. He looked at Nina for an explanation, but Nina seemed to be angry as well. Before she could yell at him, however, James decided that it was time for him to go. He disappeared behind a shelf of thick books on potions and could hear Nina's angry mutters behind his back. Then, he passed another book rack and all was silent again. He wondered what that had been all about. Where they planning on attacking him? Asking him out? Kidnapping him and blowing him until his brain would pop? He'd love to see Lily try the last one.

He pulled his book from the shelf and muttered lowly to himself how he hated his potion's essays. Who cared about the five ways of brewing Felix Felicis anyway? He was James Potter, he didn't need that shit. Luck was his middle name. However he had no luck at all with asking Lily on a date. Maybe he should just give up on her. Do as Sirius had always told him: move on and find a better girl. The only problem was that there was no better girl than Lily. She was the only one he would ever be willing to share his life with.

He sighed and pulled the book out of the rack. One more try, he promised himself, he'd try one more time to ask Lily on a date, and then he'd give up on her.