Oh for the Luurve of PANTS
Deely Bopper dance
Sunday 9th September
Home
10:30pm
Merde.
10:35pm
Why me? What have I ever done to deserve this?
1 minute later
Other than the occasional accidental snog with Dave the Laugh, I mean.
2 minutes later
But we weren't displaying red bottomosity just then. We were only doing the twist.
1 minute later
So why has Masimo the Luurve God gone off in a strop and a tizz? After a nearly-fisticuffs-at –dawn type fandango?
5 minutes later
Life really is PANTS.
10:54pm
I am so depressed; I will never get to sleep.
1 minute later
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...........
Monday 10th September
Running to Stalag 14
9:25am
Pant, pant.
9:27am
As we ran along, I said to Jas,
"I have thought of something tres amusante to do with our berets."
"Oh, no."
"Oh, yes, ma petite pally. And here it is : We gather up a small section from the middle of our berets and tie it up in a hair bobble, and also tuck all our hair under them so none of it shows, and hey presto! It looks like the berets are our hair in a bun!"
Even in my state of depressosity, I am a genius, it must be said.
But Jas didn't appreciate my wisdomosity. In fact, she said,
"Georgia, that is stupid and immature."
I pushed her in a bush. Hahahahahaha. She who laughs last laughs...err...whatever.
Assembly
9:30am
Yawn. Slim is going on about some sort of school fair. How sad and naff is that? Vair sad and naff, that is how. And what's more, we are expected to donate things! I am serious! Well let me just get this straight: I am most certainly NOT going to donate my things to a stupid school fair. I bet no-one else will either. Hahahahaha. That would be funny, if the so called teachers made this huge thing out of the fair (which they will, as they have nothing else to do with their lives) and then they had nothing to sell.
1 minute later
But the Hitler Youth (a.k.a Wet Lindsay and her tragic mates) will be bound to donate. Because that is just how tragic they are. Merde.
Maths
Even though my life is a pooburger of the first water, I feel quite relieved. Because Slim hasn't noticed my new beret idea. Yet.
Break
Tart's Wardrobe
Katie Steadman is having a party on Friday night! Ro-Ro told me while all of us (minus Jas, who I am ignorez-vousing with a firm hand) were in here hiding from Hawkeye so she couldn't ask us about the beret idea.
I only have five days to choose my outfit! On the bright side, we only have Miss Wilson and Herr Kamyer on Friday afternoon, so I will have plenty of time to do my make-up.
French
Why is Madame Slack teaching us a song about five eggs in a tree? Surely that is a copy of 'ten green bottles'. Or 'ten keen bogeys' as Libby calls it. I honestly don't know what on earth goes on in that tiny, mad little brain of hers. Libby's brain, not Madame Slack's brain. Although I am not saying Madame Slack's brain is not mad. Just not tiny.
Shutup, brain.
R.E
I would really like to know where Miss Wilson gets her clothes from. Today she was wearing a corduroy pinafore (yes, pinafore) which was the most disgusting shade of pink I have ever seen. It made me want to throw up. And as if that wasn't enough, it was glittery. Glittery. Honestly.
Lunch
Yesssssss!!! Freedom at last!!! Well, until the bell goes for the end of lunch, anyway. Still, at least we are free from looking at Miss Wilson's hideous pinafore.
5 minutes later
Tart's Wardrobe
Sitting in the loos with our feet up so that the Hitler Youth don't send us outside. This time we had the sense to each go in separate cubicles. Unfortunately this meant we couldn't see each other.
I have forgiven Jas as I feel that I need as many friends as possible in these hard times. Also she gave me a midget gem.
Jools said,
"So what's the deal with you and Masimo?"
I said,
"I don't know. I haven't seen him since he stormed off."
Ro-Ro 'helpfully' put in,
" You would think he'd have the decency to dump you officially, at least"
I said,
" Rosie, O mad bearded one, maybe he isn't going to dump me."
Jas said,
" Why wouldn't he?"
Hmph. I guess my forgiveness was short lived. And I can't even kick her, on account of the fact that she is two cubicles away from me.
German
Ach no! We are being forced to watch a video about the Kochs! My head hurts from too much German. I wrote a note to the mad bearded one (Ro-Ro);
I think my head is about to explode! I will NEVER go to Germany. EVER.
Gee x
Rosie wrote back;
While I agree that German is utter WUBBISH, we must remember that not all foreign languages are. After all, Sven is....foreign.
Ro-Ro x
How do you know Sven is not German?
Because with the amount of German we are 'taught', we understand the language of the spangleferkel. And we do not understand Sven.
Fair enough.
Blodge
God, being depressed is so BORING. I'd put on some make-up but there is no point when there is no-one to impress. I mean, even if I do see Masimo he will just dump me anyway.
Oh, Blimey O' Reilly's Trousers, one of the Hitler Youth just told me to report to Slim's office.
5 minutes later
In the waiting room of doom. Ohmygiddygod'spajamas, what have I done now? Actually, I know, it's probably the beret thing. But why would I get called out of class for that?
Uh-oh. The jelloid one just called me in.
1 minute later
As soon as I entered the room, Slim started ranting on at me.
"I've had enough of you messing around with that beret of yours......disgracing the school uniform.....influencing others to copy your antics.....blablabla.
Rave on, raver.
9:56pm
Home
This is my fabulous life:
Masimo hates me and probably never wants to see me again.
I have detention for a week for my geniosity vis a vis the berets.
Libby has left her Deely Boppers in my bed and they are poking me in the ribs. Although I guess I should be grateful that they are not up my bum-oley.
5 minutes later
I have made up a Deely Bopper dance!!! It goes:
Stamp, stamp to the left,
Stamp, stamp to the right,
Spin around,
Shimmy to the ground,
Jump back up,
Head nodding,
All over body shake
And shout 'Deely Boppers!'
Pure genius, even if I say so myself.
1 minute later
Uh-oh, I can hear Libbs coming upstairs. Shouting "eggy bear, eggy bear!" Why? Anyway, I had better hide the Deely Boppers. I want to sneak them into school tomorrow so I can show the Ace Gang my (brilliant) dance.
2 minutes later
I hid the Deely Boppers in my pillowcase. I was going to hide them in my knicker drawer but then I thought no, Angus would find them when he went to poo in there.
Then I heard Libby opening the door "eggy bear, lalala" so I leapt into bed and pretended to be asleep.
Libbs crept in. Mutti was with her. She said,
"Say goodnight to your sister, Bibbsy."
Libby said,
"Night-night, I lobe you my gingey." Awww.
Then she leant down and planted a HUGE raspberry on my stomach. I sat up hurriedly, shouting,
"Erlack! What is wrong with you?"