Title: She is…

Chapter 3: The Inevitable

Author: Ellibells

Summary: Set in episode 2x25 of Gossip Girl following the Constance and St Jude's high school graduation when Chuck runs to Europe – the build up of his return to Blair.

"What am I doing? I love her. I love her… I love her"

A/N: Again…I have re-written this story so parts are better. This Chapter is really just for Blair and what's going on with her since Chuck left, I felt both needed there own chapter so you could see both sides of the story. Enjoy!

It was Sunday afternoon, Blair and Serena had spent the morning being pampered from head to toe courtesy of Lily who insisted on treating the girls to a spa day at the palace. It took Blair's mind of Chuck for a while but then something would come along and remind her of him. It had been six days since she had seen him yet it felt like an eternity.

Blair put a front on for Serena but when she was alone it was a different story. She tried to tell herself that it would get easier and that's what she told everyone else but that was very far from the truth. She was unable to keep food down and when she didn't keep herself busy, she would be crying or thinking about him. She felt pathetic; she was Blair Waldorf for god sake, Queen B.

Nate had started his internship that summer, he was busy but when Serena came to see him about Blair he became increasingly worried, so he decided to take it upon himself to visit Blair to make sure she was coping.

As Nate stepped out of the elevator he was met by Dorota who was doing her usual thing of cleaning and laundry.

"Mr Nate, Miss Blair busy right now", Dorota explained as she stood in front on the young man.

"Doing what? Is she in her room?" Nate questioned.

"Miss Blair not good, I worry but she say she want privacy", Dorota shrugged with a concerned look on her face.

"I'll go and see if she's ok, thank you Dorota", Nate nodded and then walked to the stair and up to Blair's room.

Dorota also nodded and shuffled away to carry on with her tasks.

As Nate approached Blair's room he heard water running, in Blair's case, he knew too well that that could be one of two things.

"Blair, can I come", he asked with a small knock on her bedroom door.

There was no answer so he opened the door carefully not to make any noise, as he entered he found the room empty, Blair's bag was on the bed and he saw the bathroom light through the cracks of the doorframe. His movements where slow as he walked towards the bathroom door.

He gave it a small knock before he heard Blair on the other side of the door.

"Dorota, I told you to leave me be", Blair shouted from the other side of the door.

Just then Nate knew what she was doing in the bathroom; he couldn't wait any longer so he opened the door cautiously to find Blair sat on the floor with her head dipped over the toilet.

"Oh my god Blair… STOP!" Nate pleaded as he saw Blair being sick into the porcelain bowl.

"Nate. It isn't what it looks like…I-I", Blair lied, getting up from the floor.

"Do not lie to me Blair, what has gotten into you…I thought you were past all of this?" he said to Blair angrily yet with slight sympathy in his voice.

Blair had been caught red handed and she was in no position to carry on her lies. She was fed up of putting a strong front on for everyone else when she felt like shit. So privately she did what helped her feel in control, although she knew it was wrong, she couldn't carry on with feeling like she had no control.

They were now in the bedroom and Blair couldn't speak; instead she dropped her head in shame and slowly slid down the wall she was currently leaning against. Now in a ball in the corner of her room, she started crying, that was the only thing she could do, she was lost, she wasn't coping at all, she was dying inside.

Nate didn't know how to react, he expected his friend to fight back. He had never seen Blair like this, even when they were children, she would always stand up for herself and didn't take any crap from anyone. But now she was on the floor in a pool of tears. Finally when he caught up, Nate sprung towards Blair on the floor and embraced his ex-girlfriend in his arms.

That's when Nate honestly understood how in love Blair was with his best friend; she was love sick. He hadn't even seen Blair like this when they were a couple, she had never let her guard down for him and he was only just realising this now. When they broke up, Blair didn't let it get her down, they were never really meant to be and Nate finally understood now.

There was a long silence except for intervals of sniffles and sobs from Blair. Nate took his time with her, he didn't want to rush her so he just let her get all of it out and cry. When Blair's sobs finally subsided, she looked up to her friend who was looking at her with sympathy written all over his face. But the thing was, she didn't mind, she had had enough of Serena's tough love and she just needed someone to let her be.

"I can't imagine how your feeling B, but I'm sure he'll come back, you know Chuck… he always takes the easy route but he always comes back", Nate offered.

Blair finally plucked up enough energy to speak.

"That's what I'm afraid of, I know him too well…what if he does something stupid Nate, I couldn't bare it…" she trailed off as her tears started again.

"Chuck, he loves you, but he's just…scared. This is all new to him", Nate reassured his friend who was still clung to him in a big bear hug.

"But why didn't he tell me…I waited so long and nothing has ever hurt like this, why is it so painful?" Blair wanted all the answers but Nate didn't have them all.

"I don't know exactly why it hurts but I can guess it's because you're in love with the motherchucker, although it pains me to say it…you're kinda perfect for each other…" he couldn't help but be honest, it was true and everyone had seen it for so long.

A small smile crept onto Blair's face because she knew it was true to. So she just said the only things she could…

"We're inevitable…we're Chuck and Blair…Blair and Chuck…"

"I can't tell you what to do, mainly because you're Queen B and you wouldn't listen to me anyway but if I were you…well, I'd wait for him to come to you. I've known him all my life and if there's one thing I'm sure of, it's that he is madly in love with you and he's just afraid to let his guard down".

"He hates me though… I-I slept with his uncle and broke his trust", she shrugged and Nate released her from his arms, she just rested her head on his shoulder.

"He's not mad at you for that, he's mad at himself for letting it happen. I think he feels that if he had told you earlier how he felt, you wouldn't have even gone down that road, he's blaming himself".

"You think?" Blair asked with hope in her voice.

Nate just nodded and wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

"I need him Nate…"

Blair thought about what Nate had just said and maybe he was right, so she would try and wait, it wasn't as if she had any other options than cry all day and she had certainly done enough of that for now. And if he truly loved her, he would come back to her.

Although nothing compensated from being away from Chuck, she had the crowing of Jenny tomorrow and that meant some good old quality Queen B take down for all times sake.

That night after Nate finally left after Blair assuring him she would be fine, she sent Dorota out to get chocolate and ice-cream so they could spend the evening watching rom-coms like they used to when Blair was little. She felt safe with Dorota; she was like a big sister who never let her down, with the perks of her doing whatever Blair wanted whenever she wanted.

xoxo

Chuck had spent the day in Paris picking up final gifts for Blair and preparing how he was going to apologize to Blair for leaving and finally say the three words, eight letters Blair had longed for.

Chuck was terrified. Terrified that she wouldn't forgive him. Terrified of his feelings. He had never had to confront these feeling, ever. He had been rejected by his father his entire life and if the only woman he ever loved did the same, he wouldn't be able to live. Just thinking about the possibility scared the shit out of him.

Blair had saved him by loving him and if she wouldn't let him do the same, he'd be lost forever.

…

A/N: Hope that Chappie was satisfactory. Please review, I would to hear what you all think :) Thanks for reading!