SM Owns Not Me
Here we go, round 6. Beta'd by ScottishRose1028, very quickly! More Edward and Bella – and I know how you love them lemons! HAHA!
If you read A Perfect Love I started a thread on Twilighted for it, so check it out!
And Don'tLive InRegert made a banner for this story! Well a few! And you can see them on my profile as well!
Edward picked up the small black panties that Isabella had left behind and tucked them in his nightstand drawer. His thoughts were not to keep the panties as some sort of conquest reminder or trophy; he simply didn't want them to be seen by anyone.
The thought of her walking out of his room without any underwear brought his dick to attention again. He was pleased with how fast that was, as he smirked with pride at his hard on.
His smirk soon disappeared as he reminded himself once again of the fight that had broken his resolve to stay home.
Emily had just come into the apartment from a photo shoot. Her heels clicked against the wood floor as she leaned her hip against the chair opposite of where Edward sat, watching reruns like Happy Days, and Golden Girls. They weren't the type of programs he would normally watch, but they were safe, and made him smile slightly. He spent most of his days since returning home paralyzed on the couch or drunk at the bar.
"Hey there," Emily said suggestively to Edward, as she started to unbutton her short trench coat. Edward didn't fail to notice her long legs, and sleek red heels. He cursed himself when she let the trench coat fall from her shoulders, leaving her completely exposed.
Emily knew what Edward had endured when he was overseas. She knew he was suffering, but she thought if they could reconnect that maybe he would come back a little. Since his return, he hadn't so much as slapped her ass. Sure, he kissed her deeply when they were reunited, but his blissful return was short lived.
He quickly withdrew when the panic attacks began only days after he returned. He wanted nothing more than to be with Emily. To make love to her. But he physically couldn't. The clicking of her heels reminded him of the gun held at his head, as the man in the desert laughed as he pulled the trigger over and over again, releasing nothing. Click. Click. Click. One for each time the trigger was squeezed. The terrorist cursed himself, for having wasted his bullets when he had executed the five others before him. Edward had wished he was first, instead of last. The images of five men being shot in the head at point blank range had made him vomit. He begged for them to stop, to spare them. They had his hands tied behind his back, attached to his ankles. He couldn't wipe the tears, or the sand that blew into his eyes, away. Not an hour went by that he didn't hear his captain's voice: "Stay strong, Soldier. Don't forget who you are!"
Then his captain was shot, point blank, not two feet away from Edward. His blood splattered across Edward's dirty face. Edward was ready to go next. Prepared to die. Repeating the Lords prayer over and over again in his head. How could you even attempt to live after something like this? He closed his eyes in preparation. CLICK. He was still alive. CLICK. Still breathing. CLICK. Holy shit, he wondered, what the fuck are they going to do now? A bullet to the head would have been easy.
It stung every time he closed his eyes, the grains of sand scraping his cornea. It hurt more to keep them open and watch the bloodshed. He wondered how they would kill him now that they had run out of bullets. They didn't beat him to death, or behead him. No, that death wouldn't be as easy as a bullet to the head. He would have rather die. Instead, they had shoved him into a hole and held him hostage for months.
Emily walked forward. CLICK. CLICK. CLICK. Edward shot up from his seat, grabbed the decorative mirror off the wall and hurled it in Emily's direction. He wasn't even aware of his actions. He could have sworn that he was back in that desert, though this time he had the use of his hands and legs; and he fought back.
He wasn't in the desert. And he was hurting the wrong person. Emily had no choice but to call the police, and that night Edward spent in the psych ward, Emily in the ER.
Edward wondered why he was still here. Why he didn't just die – he should be dead. Most days he cursed life, death would be much easier at this point. Watching five men, most of them his brothers, executed weren't even half of the nightmares that plagued him. It wasn't even so much of what was done to him in the months he was held hostage – it was the lengths he'd had to go to in order to be set free.
Who was it that said only the dead see the end of war? Edward had seen the end of war. The question was – how did he go on living? Becoming Amish, becoming someone whose life was peaceful and simple was the only thing Edward could do to help ease his pain and suffering.
He was afraid to tell Isabella everything that had happened to him. He hadn't even told his General what he did in exchange for his freedom. He was afraid Isabella would be disgusted with him.
It was selfish for him to hold onto her so tightly he thought, but he couldn't let her go.
The weekend came quickly, and Isabella informed Edward she would not be hanging out with Paul, since his company included James. She did not mention the encounter she had with him earlier in the week.
Because nothing bad was ever discussed.
And Edward wasn't there to protect her. She didn't see any reason to tell him about something that it was too late to save her from.
"I thought you were all about the bar?" Edward asked, her as she sat on his bed. He was a bit relieved he didn't have to risk a panic attack.
"I was, but I don't really like James and I don't want to hang out with him," Isabella told Edward. He was happy she was able to see James' true colors, and that she wanted to steer clear of him.
"Did something happen to make you see what a creep he is?" Edward asked.
"I don't want to talk about it," Isabella said, opening her sketch book. She began to shade in Edward's jaw line as she avoided Edward's interest in the subject.
"Well, I do," Edward replied, pulling the sketch book out of her hands and tossing it to the bottom of his bed. "Did he do something to you?"
Isabella pulled her shirt over her knuckles in an attempt to hide from Edward the angry red mark left by James. Edward was very observant, though.
He pulled up her sleeves and felt his anger rise as he looked at the bite mark on Bella's wrist. "He bit you? What else did he do Bella?" Edward demanded, thinking of how dirty human bites were. Worse than most animals.
Isabella swallowed back, afraid of making Edward mad. She didn't want him to have one of his angry outbursts.
"I don't want you to get upset," Isabella told him.
"Bella, I am already upset, please tell me what the hell happened!" Edward begged.
Isabella surrendered to his demand; she broke the silence and told Edward what had happened three days ago. She had stayed after school to work on organizing some things in preparation for Mary Alice's departure.
She was cleaning the chalk board when James entered the small room. Isabella jumped, startled by his sudden appearance. His smile was cold, and his eyes told her he was looking for trouble.
"James, what are you doing here?" Isabella asked.
"Hey Izzy," James responded, ignoring her question as he approached her. She felt uneasy. Scared.
She backed up, her back hitting the green chalkboard. "What? Paul said you'd be looking for a good time," he said, placing his hand on her covered breast. Isabella moved to the right, but James followed her.
"Don't make this harder then it has to be," James smiled cunningly at her.
"Nothing is going to happen, James," Bella said. This time she attempted to move forward, but he stopped her. He grabbed her arms and pushed her back against the chalkboard. He began to grope her over her Amish dress, as she attempted to squirm out of his grasp. Isabella had never screamed before. She wasn't even sure how.
She brought her arms up to try to protect herself from his needy hands, and that's when he did it - he bit the side of her wrist that covered her breasts. His teeth sunk in, causing Isabella's instincts to take over. She screamed in pain, and kneed him in the groin before running as fast as she could away from him.
Edward was ready to pounce. He wanted to knock out every single one of James teeth. "I am going to kill that mother fucker," Edward seethed.
"NO!" Isabella cried. "Please, just let it go. Let's just stay away from him! Please!" Isabella was terrified that if Edward began to teach James a lesson, he wouldn't stop until he was dead. That not even her voice or touch would bring him back.
"It's not worth it! He isn't worth it!" Isabella continued.
"No one hurts my girl," Edward told her as his hands formed fists so tight, his knuckles began to turn white.
"Please, promise me that you won't do anything foolish. I can't lose you." Isabella begged. "We don't hold grudges, Edward! We forgive everyone, even if they don't ask for it! If you go after James, you will lose the chance to be accepted into the community!"
"I won't let him get away with it," Edward said through clenched teeth.
"No, you are my bitch, and I say you let it go. It will not make it better. After you do whatever you are thinking, it will still have happened to me. As my BB, I have to demand that you not make any foolish choices that will not change a thing. And, as my BB, I want to go to our little spot, and drink this jungle punch I got from Paul," Isabella said, holding up a gallon of red juice.
Edward stared at her for a long second. His breathing began to even out as he looked into her eyes, that were begging him to let it go.
"Let's sneak out, then Bambi," Edward said, pretending to agree with her. There was nothing she could do or say to keep him from kicking James' ass.
But for now, he would sit on the cool ground and take little sips of jungle juice as Isabella chugged it, getting drunker by the moment.
"We have a problem," she slurred.
"We do?" Edward questioned with a smirk.
"Yes," Isabella stated.
"Whatever it is, we aren't going to discuss it right now," Edward said.
"Says who? I am the owner of BB, I say we talk about this issue," Isabella pressed.
"Not when you are drunk," Edward told her. "Only fun – no serious business."
"Why is that?" Isabella asked, as she straddled him.
"Cause alcohol, you know, it has that effect on problems – it just never solves them. Ever. And I would hate to think that I fell in love with a moron." Edward told her, brushing her hair off of her heart-shaped face.
"You're in love with me, huh?" Isabella smiled, biting her bottom lip.
"Well not currently, no. Right now you're just some crazy drunk girl," Edward laughed.
Isabella got serious. "I love you," she told him. He smiled widely at her and kissed her deeply as she pressed her body as close to his as she could.
She pulled back and began to pull off Edward's shirt. "I think you owe me a few crash courses," Isabella said, kissing down his chest.
"Well, they all take place below the waist," Edward said, taking his dick out. He took her hand in his and kissed it softly before placing it on his hard dick. "Jerking off a guy." Edward began the lesson by keeping his hand over hers as he guided her hand up and down his cock. "And ah, it's nice to pay a little attention to this," Edward instructed as he moved her thumb over the head of his penis.
"Then there is oral sex, or head," Edward said as Isabella pumped up and down his shaft. "And that is when you use your mouth," Edward breathed out heavily. Isabella looked at him and slowly lowered her head, opening her mouth awkwardly wide and wrapping it around his hardness. "Just, ah, try to keep your teeth from scraping," Edward warned her. She closed her lips around him, and moved her mouth up and down like she had done with her hand.
This time, instead of using her thumb to swirl around the head, she used her tongue. Edward bucked his hips in response to Isabella's stellar ability to pay attention to detail.
Isabella moved her mouth as far down his base as she could manage before pulling her mouth back slowly. "Is that good?" she asked, wiping her mouth.
"It's perfect," Edward told her, pushing her back. "But I have one more lesson for the night," he informed her. He pulled down her black tights and buried his face between her legs. He spread her swollen lips and began to fuck her with his tongue. He flicked it up on her clit as Isabella squirmed in pleasure. She could hardly control herself when she felt him suck on her engorged clit.
Edward added his fingers as he focused his mouth on her clit. He could feel Isabella begin to tremble, her orgasm about to come on. He owed her an orgasm from their first time, so he moved his fingers faster as he sucked harder on her clit, cause her to moan in pleasure. Her orgasm began rocking her body.
She swallowed and tried to catch her breath, but Edward wasn't letting her rest. He put his mouth on hers and moved his tongue against hers as he got ready to enter her.
"One down, one to go," Edward said as he moved in and out of her slick pussy. Edward didn't like the idea of her lying on the ground, so he pulled her up and sat her down on top of him; Isabella moved back and forth, enjoying how the movement caused pressure on her sensitive clit.
She moved back and forth harder and faster, as she came again. Edward showered her neck and jaw line with kisses, as the wetness dripped down his cock. Her walls tightened and he lifted her up before pulling her back down. Isabella caught on and began to bounce up and down Edward's shaft. He held her hips and helped her move, and just as he was about to explode, he pulled her all the way off, and aimed the cum onto his own stomach.
Isabella handed him her other pair of panties to clean up the mess and smiled at him, as she pulled on her tights without underwear again. She knew by the look in his eye that it drove him crazy.
Isabella chugged the last of the Jungle juice before cuddling with Edward under the stars.
"I love you, Bambi," Edward said, kissing her temple.
"I love you, BB," Isabella told him, closing her eyes to rest for a moment.
The stars lined the sky when both Isabella and Edward closed their eyes, but when they awoke, it was to a rising sun. "OH SHIT!" Edward said, jumping up. "Your dad is gonna wonder where the hell I am! I get up before the sun to help him!" Edward said, buttoning his pants.
"It's fine; just tell him you came out earlier!" Isabella suggested, grabbing her dirty underwear and kissing Edward quickly on the cheek before leaving him in the middle of the corn stalks.
"Go, I don't know, get water from the well! Act busy!" Isabella called out, as she moved further away from Edward.
Edward ran into Charlie shortly afterward, he did not lie about getting up earlier to work like Isabella suggested. Instead, he told Charlie the truth.
"I couldn't sleep. I came out for some fresh air, I was star gazing and fell asleep, I am really sorry. But I haven't slept that well in a long time," Edward told him. Edward knew he slept well because of Isabella. Because she was with him.
"Don't worry about it, son. I'm glad you had a good nights rest, even if it was in a field," Charles laughed a little. "Take the day off, tomorrow we have church, and then we go to the Blacks, for a get-together. Sarah will be there," Charles reminded him.
Edward nodded, and thanked Charles for his understanding. He didn't want to lead Sarah on, but Charles seemed set on being matchmaker when it came to Edward and Sarah. She was a nice girl, but Edward worried about how Isabella would respond to her father's attempts at matching him with Sarah. He didn't want it to upset her.
He was also worried about the way she might be expected to pay attention to Jacob. They shouldn't hide. They were in love. He cringed at the thought of having to watch her stand by Jacob. He wanted to be with her.
"Edward," Charles said, turning back to him. "Your biggest obstacle in embracing the Amish culture isn't learning to live without technology, or riding a horse, or learning how to work on a farm. Your biggest obstacle is going to be learning how to forgive; not only others for what they have done, but also yourself for what you have done. You must learn to forgive like the Lord has, if you want to shed the burdens of your past." Charles told him.
Edward couldn't comprehend how that would happen. It was one of the biggest reasons he chose to come live Amish, thinking that maybe they'd have the answers he needed. Maybe they could teach him about forgiveness.
He knew Charles was right. If he was ever going to be normal again, he had to give it a chance. And he couldn't risk being told to leave because of his relationship with Isabella.
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