SM owns them I don't

Thanks to ScottishRose1028 for fixing my mistakes, I really had an over abundance of Comma's! HAHA!

Isabella sat in the Black's barn on the left side as her father preached, and the men sat on the right side. She noticed Jacob's eyes wandering over to her every so often, and also Sarah's drifting toward Edward.

Isabella rolled her eyes. Sarah was just about to take over the school house, why all of a sudden she was showing in interest in someone made Isabella wonder how selfish she was. Would she try to have both like Mary Alice? Obviously, Alice didn't do a very good job of trying to have her cake and eat it too.

"We have a new couple to add to the weddings taking place this week, Mary Alice Brandon and Jasper Hale," my father announced as they both stood. Jasper's beard was starting to grow in, a sign that he was getting ready to be married. He would wear a beard the rest of his life married to Alice. The wedding would be held this Thursday at the Brandon's house.

Alice had told me of her mother's shock over the quick wedding, leaving her no time to plant the customary celery stalks.

Edward was beginning to take the customary classes for baptism during the three hour church service, and he secretly hoped that Bella would join him. She would not though. She did sing the hymns and say the prayers; she even knelt for prayer when the time came.

Charles ended the service in the normal closing hymn. The words making Edward's heart ache.

We alone, a little flock,
The few who still remain,
Are exiles wandering through the land
In sorrow and in pain...
We wander in the forests dark,
With dogs upon our track;
And like the captive, silent lamb
Men bring us, prisoners, back.
They point to us, amid the throng,
And with their taunts offend,
And long to let the sharpened ax
On heretics descend

Isabella looked at Edward as she sang the sad song. The words like prisoner, exiles, captive, and sharpened ax, sent Edward running out of the barn.

Isabella watched him run. She didn't think twice. She pushed herself past her mother, and a few other women to get to Edward. She held her dress down as she ran outside, the wind causing it to blow. She looked to the right and then to the left for Edward. That is when she saw him, collapsed and breathing heavy on the porch steps of Jacob's home. He looked up and saw her. He didn't want to make a scene, and he needed her. He got up and began to walk toward the stalks of wheat that grew on the Black's land.

Isabella followed behind him, until they disappeared into the sea of brown.

"Edward," Isabella called out, pushing the stalks of wheat out of her path. She finally saw him, bent over, hyperventilating, as he supported himself on his knees. She reached out and touched his back. Edward immediately stood and grabbed her. "I'm here," she whispered to him, as she weaved her fingers through his hair.

"Edward? Izzy?" Charles called out, causing Edward to detach himself from his daughter quickly. There was no use in hiding the fact that Isabella had chased after him, everyone in the community was aware of that fact.

"We are here, Daddy," Isabella called.

Charles appeared before them, confused at the actions of his daughter. "What's going on here?" he questioned them.

"I'm sorry," Edward began; he didn't know what to say. He didn't want Charles to hate him.

"Daddy, I was concerned for Edward, I didn't want him to be alone, and I knew you couldn't come to him until you finished preaching. I didn't know who else would check on him," Isabella said, and it wasn't a lie. But, she wasn't about to tell her father she was in love with the man.

Charles had no problem swallowing what Isabella was telling him. "No need to be sorry, Son," Charles told Edward. "Is everything alright, Edward? Do you need to talk?" Charles asked.

"No, Sir, I am better," Edward said. Charles motioned for Edward and Isabella to walk ahead of him to the open yard.

Edward looked at Isabella with relief as they shared a private moment. Isabella acted as if nothing was wrong as she walked first into view from the field. Jacob quickly came to her, wondering why she chased after Edward.

"What is going on?" he asked her.

"Nothing, Jacob," Isabella smiled kindly at him. He should know better then to fish for information.

Edward was sweating bullets from his sudden panic attack. It didn't help that he thought Charles would demand he leave for starting a relationship with his daughter. He wiped his brow, and noticed Sarah who was with Jasper and Mary Alice. She smiled at him, a blush rising to her cheeks.

Edward didn't want to be anti-social so he made his way over toward them. He wanted to meet Mary Alice and her soon to be husband. He had already meet Sarah, and spoken to her briefly about how she was going to be working with Isabella.

"Edward," Sarah greeted, "do you know Jasper and Alice?"

"No not officially," he said, extending his hand to Jasper. "Congratulations," he told them.

"Thank you, Edward. It's a pleasure to meet you, Charles has spoken very highly of you," Jasper said.

Edward made small talk with the group as he watched Isabella talk to Jacob. Isabella didn't miss the fact that Edward was with Sarah. Her attention was not on Jacob as he tried to talk to her, she missed half of what he said while watching Edward. Everytime she tried to excuse herself he found a way to keep her close by. She longed to go to Edward, as he longed to go to her.

"Jacob!" Isabella finally interrupted. "I want to go congratulate Jasper and Mary Alice, will you please excuse me?" she asked politely.

Jacob didn't argue or try to keep her any longer, not that he could have. Isabella made her way to Edward and was not pleased with the conversation at hand.

"Edward, will you attend the sing-along tonight?" Sarah asked.

"I suppose," Edward said, not really sure what he was agreeing to. No one had told him in detail about the courting practices. The traditional way to court someone was through sings held on Sunday evenings. Essentially, Edward had just agreed to a date with Sarah.

"Will you be going, Bella?" Edward asked. She smiled at him trying to hide the anger and jealousy she felt over it.

"I have stopped going since starting Rumspringa, Edward. Sarah, I don't believe Edward knows the implications of attending a sing," Isabella pointed out. She wanted to make sure Sarah knew Edward was not aware he had agreed to a date with her.

"What are the implications?" Edward asked, looking around the group.

"It's an essential element in Amish courting practices Edward," Isabella informed him. He didn't miss the glare that accompanied her words.

Only Alice was aware of the tension between the two. "Oh," Edward said. He wasn't sure how to politely decline her offer now that he had already agreed. "Sarah, I'm sorry, I don't think I should start courting anyone so soon into my new life, I hope you'll understand," Edward told her, a look of regret on his face.

"I do, maybe soon," she smiled. Edward didn't want to lead her on. He only smiled in response. As did Isabella, but hers was a smug smile.

Later that evening, when the awkwardness and tension of the day was behind them, Edward and Bella found themselves among the corn stalks, the ease of being together evident to them both. It was only when they found themselves surrounded by others that things got hard.

Isabella lay on her back against the blanket Edward had thoughtfully brought. Edward rested on his side along side her, his face resting on his hand. He looked at her longingly, his lopsided smile made her putty in his skilled hands.

"Rose is coming in a month," Isabella told Edward. He had agreed to go meet her with Isabella.

"You must be excited," Edward said.

"I am," Isabella smiled.

"You aren't going to stay here, are you?" Edward asked.

"I don't know, BB," Isabella said, trying to steer clear of any type of serious conversation.

"It's not funny," Edward told her.

"Honestly Edward," Isabella said adjusting herself to mirror his stance, "tell me you like me better plain. Tell me, that me in a short skirt with my hair down doesn't turn you on more than dresses below my knees and aprons," Isabella challenged him.

"I think you're beautiful. You could wear a trash bag and I would think you were beautiful," Edward told her.

"You don't miss the English way of life?" Isabella asked him.

"No," Edward told her.

"So, you are going to stay here?" Isabella didn't really need to ask. She feared she knew the answer.

"Yes," Edward told her.

"You won't follow me?" Isabella asked, "If I leave?" she added.

"You won't stay with me?" Edward asked her back.

"There is no middle ground here is there?" Isabella asked sadly. Realizing how the man she loved wanted the complete opposite of her. "Where does that leave us?" she asked.

"It leaves me selfishly clinging to you, for as long as I can. Selfishly hoping you stay," Edward told her.

"It leaves me hoping you will come to your senses, and leave with me," Isabella told him.

They both knew the rational thing to do would be walk away, but neither would give in today. They would hold on to each other until they were forced to break apart. Each day they held on to would only cause them more pain in the end, if neither of them gave in. They both knew the pain they would suffer, that it would be easier to break apart, to just rip off the band aid. But Isabella was a band aid for Edward, and he needed her to stick to him for as long as he could.

He looked at her, and swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing. He reached for her face and she inched closer to him, succumbing to his kiss. The kiss was slow and sensual. His face was pained as he kissed her, knowing that it wouldn't last forever. Something eventually was going to tear them apart. The only thing he had was a slight chance she would stay. He clung to that chance and got lost in her kiss.

She kissed him back, begging him with her lips and tongue to follow her. She would slide her tongue in and withdraw it; wait for his tongue to follow her, to seek out her tongue. She wasn't sure why she felt like it meant something, like some sort of subliminal message; telling her he would follow her.

He didn't pick up on the game she was playing of cat and mouse, as she rejoiced when he came to rest on top of her. He made love to her once again, mesmerized by her fair skin, the raspberry birthmark on the left side of her ribs, just below her breast. He loved the way it looked resembled a strawberry. He committed every detail of her to his memory. The freckle on her upper inner thigh, he kissed; the scar on her forearm from when she burnt herself attempting to cook.

He worshiped her – every touch, every kiss, every move he made inside of her he did with love. He prayed it would be enough. That if he loved her enough it would sway her to stay.

Happiness is fleeting. It makes time move fast. It blinds people from the truth. And fire burns when you play with it.

For the next month, he thought he might be winning. Taking every chance he got, with every look, that he loved her. She happily returned every loving gesture he made. He thought that she would choose to stay with him. He was shocked by the news she had for him.

"I'm leaving, Edward." she told him.

"Leaving? What do you mean?" he asked, his band aid being ripped painfully away.

"I am going to live with Rose and Emmett for awhile. I can't make the choices I need to here. There is too much pressure. I need to know what I will be giving up if I stay here," Isabella lied. She knew she was leading him to the hope she would return, but she couldn't let him know the truth. He had to believe the same story her father did.

"So, you could come back?" he asked, a glimmer of hope sparking in his eyes.

She couldn't lie, "I wouldn't hope for that too much," Isabella said. Her circumstances were not ones that would leave her welcomed back. And they left her with no choice but to leave.

"Stay, don't leave me," he asked her, selfishly.

Isabella wanted to ask him to come, but deep down she knew he needed to find the peace he had come there searching for. He needed to learn the forgiveness that only her father could teach him.

"I want to go to school for a little bit, I want to live English – not just party. I want to see, Edward." she explained.

"I thought you would stay," Edward said.

"I thought you would go," Isabella retorted. "I see it now, that you need to be here. I know you need to learn to forgive yourself for whatever you did, whatever it is you won't speak of. I know you're afraid of what I might think of you if you told me, but I don't need to forgive you. That is between you and God. The only one you need forgiveness from is Him and yourself. I won't ask you to come with me. I won't ask you to give up the chance to find that, and I know my Father can help you." Isabella told him.

The last month was the happiest of her life. She loved working in the school house, even with Sarah. She had become close with her, enjoyed her friendship. Alice and Jasper had announced the baby they were expecting and everyone was happy for them.

She had finally told Jacob that she didn't plan to stay, that he shouldn't hold onto hope of a future with her. She asked Edward everyday to tell her everything that hurt him, but he wouldn't. She knew he wouldn't move on until he met his past head on. Edward's panic attacks became less frequent as he loved Isabella. He feared they would return with her absence.

She wouldn't ruin his chances of healing. Sure, she helped him, but he couldn't use her as his cure forever. He had to piece himself back together. If she told him the real reason she was leaving, she knew he would follow, and that comforted her enough.

She reached up and kissed his cheek. "I have to go, Rose is waiting for me," she said.

"Will I see you again?" Edward asked, the question burning inside him. He was getting angry that she had told him sooner, given him more warning.

"I don't know," Isabella answered him. She couldn't stand to see him on the verge of tears.

She picked up her duffel bag, and ran as fast as she could from the one thing she wanted. The one thing she couldn't have.

Edward watched her go. He knew all along that there was a possibility one day that this would happen. He just hoped it wouldn't be so soon.

Why was it so soon?

He staggered into the house and found Charles. He looked broken. Almost as broken as Edward.

"Izzy, left. She went to go stay with her sister. I fear she won't return, even though she tells me she hasn't made her choice. I think she is trying to make it easier on me," Charles told Edward. He didn't look at him. He just stared down at the Bible he held, and hoped that he wouldn't have to deny another child.

"If she leaves and doesn't come back, she is what, shunned?" Edward asked.

"Yes," Charles answered gravely.

"What about forgiveness? You can't forgive her if she chooses that and accept her choice? Why does it have to be all or nothing?" Edward asked, because he was confused as to why he should be so forgiving if Charles was unable to show his own children that.

"I don't begrudge them for leaving Edward, I forgive them for it. I just can't in good faith support it. It is the consequence of leaving. All choices have consequences."

Edward stared out the window in the direction his Bella ran, thinking of all the consequences he faced from the choices he was forced to make.

Isabella ran to the road and walked down past the cornfields where Rose and Emmett awaited her in their car. She cried as she was forced to leave much sooner than she would have liked. Rose jumped from the car and ran to her sister.

Rose hugged her close as Emmett walked up slowly, picking up Isabella's bag. "Thank you, for letting me come stay with you," Isabella said as she hugged her sister.

"Of course," Rose said. "I can't believe the trouble you have gotten into in such a short time."

"Don't you know Rose, trouble follows me. I am like a magnet for it."

"You can always go back, after. No one would ever have to know." Rose told her, placing her arm around her sister as they walked back to the car.

"I would know, Rose. I can't do that," Isabella told her. "I just can't tell Daddy, he would be crushed. The family would be shamed."

"We will take care of you, both of you," Rose said as Emmett placed Isabella's bag in the back seat.

"Izzy, we got your back," Emmett said, holding the door open for her.

"I prefer Bella now," she requested. It reminded her of Edward. He was the only person to ever call her that, and she liked it much better then Izzy. She wanted to hold on to as many pieces of him as she could.

Separated by secrets, and burned by mistakes, Edward and Bella suffered apart. And no amount of adhesive bandage could fix them. The choices were made and the damage was done.

Here comes the angst. Give it to me. Review and I will tease you.