He walked her to her car. He put on a smile for her benefit but she saw right through it and into his dark brown eyes, the eyes that could hide nothing from her. She looked into them and saw pain. Pain that she had caused…was causing. She wanted to speak, wanted to take all the pain away. But logically, she knew that anything she might say would just hurt him deeper, and she couldn't bear to see that. So, as usual, her logical side won out. Swallowing hard and mirroring his empty smile, she nodded at Booth and drove away. As smart as she was and as much as she knew, she just couldn't fathom why her heart was physically aching. She felt irrationally ill, so ill that she considered going to an emergency room. Until the logical side of her took over again.
Maybe Angela will know what to do. She thought. She fumbled around in her purse, looking for her cell phone. It wasn't there. I must've left it at home since we didn't have a case today. Shoot! What am I going to do now? She knew she wouldn't be able to sleep if she went home.
Well…you might as well do something useful… the small, logical, annoying voice in her brain suggested. It must've been the same part that took over the driving, because when she looked up, she saw the Jeffersonian.
Well, might as well do something useful… she thought, sighing. She went inside, opened her office, and sat down on the couch. Sighing, she placed her head in her hands and closed her eyes. A wave of exhaustion washed over her, but she knew that no matter how tired she was, she wouldn't be sleeping. Not tonight.
She picked up the phone on her desk and dialed Angela's number.
Maybe talking to her will help clear my mind so I can finally get some work done. She thought as a ringing sound came from the other side of the line. It seemed to ring for ever before she heard Angela's voice.
"Hey!" Angela's voice said.
"Angela! I really need…" Brennan started.
"Sorry I missed your call, but if you leave your name and a message, I will get back to you." BEEP!!!
"I…uhhh…what the…?" Brennan stuttered. Quickly, though, she composed herself. "Angela, this is Dr. Brennan. I just wanted to speak to you. I assume you are, um, busy, as you did not answer. That is quite fine…I am quite fine…what I mean to say…" BEEP!!! Brennan stuttered to a stop.
Well…THAT was rude. She thought. As smart as she was, some aspects of technology still eluded her. She placed her phone back on its cradle and sat back down on her couch. Sighing yet again, she rose again and grabbed a box labeled "Teaching Bones".
She pulled it off the shelf and opened it up. Inside, there was a set of real bones that she used while attempting to educate pupils at her open lectures. Upon examining the bones, she realized that she hadn't cleaned them in a long time. Sighing she grabbed her cleaning kit and started to examine the bones more closely. As her eyes passed over the crack on the skull between the frontal and parietal bones, the cause of death, she realized that it was caked with dirt and dust. She grabbed a scalpel from her kit and began the tedious job of cleaning the break. For her it was mindless work and her mind started to wander. As always, it landed on her favorite, yet most painful subject. Booth.
I'm so confused. How could Booth love me? How did this happen? How could I do this to him? I love him so much…how did he know that I love him…wait….what???!?!??! Do I even…
"Ouch!!" she screamed, as blood trickled down her hand from a cut to her middle finger. She didn't stop to assess the damage, or to consider the consequences of her next action. She picked up the skull in her good hand and chucked it with all her might. It landed on her couch with a thud, but appeared to be undamaged. She stared at the skull on the couch in shock. She was shaken out of her state by Angela's voice.
"What in the world…?"