Sm owns, not me. Lots of Love to ScottishRose1028 for her beta skillz! And HippieStar for being my pre reader and helping me figure out what the hell to do with these two.
There's an old proverb that says you can't choose your family. You take what the fates hand you. And like them or not, love them or not, understand them or not, you cope. Then there's the school of thought that says the family you're born into is simply a starting point. They feed you, and clothe you, and take care of you until you're ready to go out into the world and find your tribe.
The crisp wind blew causing Bella's face to be covered in a veil of her dark hair. Her teeth chattered as Edward held her hand outside the airport as he tried to flag down a taxi.
Bella hugged her jacket closer to her as a taxi pulled up and began loading the few bags they had brought into the trunk.
"Where to?" the cab driver asked peering through the rear view mirror at Edward and Bella.
"1318 North Wolcott," Edward told him the address to his condo. He had called and spoken to Emily a few days before they had left. He didn't want to kick her out, but he didn't want to stay with his parents if he didn't have to. He wasn't sure how his father was going to handle everything. Emily had told him that she was hardly ever there since she spent most of her time at Sam's.
Emily had been trying to figure out a way to talk to him about the condo; she wanted to sell it.
"I don't know what's going on Em, but if you want to move out, I can handle paying for it myself. I don't know if I want to sell it," Edward told her over the phone.
"So, you don't know how long you're going to hang around then?" Emily asked.
"No," Edward told her. It was still hard to talk to her after the way he had hurt her.
"Maybe we can meet for coffee or something while you are here? I know Sam would love to see you."
"I don't know Em...I'm bringing someone," Edward explained.
"Edward that is so great! Sam and I would love to meet her."
"I'll let you know," Edward conceded. He did miss his best friend.
Emily went by the condo and made sure she removed all of her clothes. She was excited to tell Sam that she could move in with him officially. Sam was happy that Edward was able to hold a normal conversation with her. When he had left months ago, he couldn't even say her name. She really thought Edward was getting better, and knew that this new girl had a lot to do with that.
Edward loved his condo in Wicker Park. It had rounded windows across the front, Brazilian cherry hardwood floors, and the cabinets were espresso colored with a marble back splash. It was an open floor plan and had three bedrooms.
He had never needed that much space, but he felt at home the minute he stepped through the door. He bought it before leaving for boot camp, and asked Emily to move in with him. After everything that happened, and all the hurt and pain he'd caused her, he couldn't tell her to leave. It was her home too, and he was the one running.
So he had left, and made sure everything would be taken care of. He couldn't scare her and leave her homeless.
Bella watched in awe as they passed through Chicago. Edward pointed out a few landmarks to her along the way. When they pulled up to his building Bella's mouth dropped open.
"What?" Edward asked upon seeing the stunned face Bella had.
"Nothing," she said shaking her head. He helped her out of the cab and she pulled her jeans up that were slipping down her hips.
Edward held her hand and their bags as he brought her up to his home.
They walked inside, and Edward dropped the bags by the door. Bella followed him down a short hallway that held the doors into the three bedrooms. She followed him down three steps into the kitchen and large living room. The round windows letting in light held a nice view of green trees, and a small park below.
Bella stopped in the middle of the open floor, in front of the white marble fire place in awe. "Who are you?" she asked, as Edward leaned over the kitchen island.
"Edward Cullen?" he said it like it was a question.
"No, I mean...you're like rich. I thought you were going to bring me to some run down apartment with rats and cockroaches...not some fancy condo," she said waving her arms around. "I mean, I thought you were just a soldier or whatever."
"Bella, I joined the Army to avoid an Ivy League education. My father wasn't pleased with my rebellious choice of not following in his footsteps," Edward explained. "He said I was taking a vacation in coach from first class."
"How could you leave all this for the plain life?" Bella asked sinking into his black sofa.
"I never was impressed by any of it. I just wanted to serve," Edward sighed.
Bella picked up a picture that sat on the glass table next to the couch. It was of Edward; he was in his Army uniform, his forehead pressed against a tall, thin, olive skinned girl with shiny black hair down her back. She was beautiful. Edward looked happy, in love.
"That's Emily...before I left for my tour." Edward said, taking the picture from her hands.
"I can see how much you loved her," Bella said, as Edward placed the picture down.
"I was a different person then," Edward said. He took a seat next to Bella on the couch, and she rested her head on his shoulder.
"Tell me about him?" Bella asked, because she believed he was still there...somewhere. The boy who hated status, the one who wanted to prove that he was more than his money, that he was more than his father's son.
"I'm what people would call a trust fund baby. I had everything growing up. I never wanted for anything. My father expected a lot from me... and I resented that. I didn't want to anything I didn't earn. I didn't want any handouts. I resented the kids at school who thought I bought my way into Dartmouth, which was true. It's the reason I finally got the balls to enlist. I found out my father funded a new science wing. I was never sure if people were my friend because of me or because of the money. I met Emily my senior year in high school, and they hated her. I was pretty much set on going to Dartmouth at the time. I wanted to feel like more than a leach, always taking, never giving. I hated feeling like I had some silver spoon... I just wanted to be held responsible...earn something. Not because of money or status, but just because I worked my ass off and earned it. I've never been the same since."
"Why did they dislike Emily?" Bella asked. It made her uneasy about meeting them.
"She wasn't from the right side of the tracks. They thought she was a bad influence on me, she wasn't good enough or up to their standards or whatever."
"I'm nervous," Bella admitted.
"About what?" Edward asked tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.
"Meeting your family. Emmett told me my age would be a problem."
"Bella, I don't know how this all works. I don't know what happens to a sixteen-year-old Amish girl that leaves, if that's what we choose...I mean you're a minor here and it's all very complicated. I would never have started any type of physical...fuck not even a platonic relationship with a sixteen-year-old girl here. Ever."
"And your parents...what will they think?"
"Well, since you already told my father you're pregnant," Edward said giving her a glare to let her know he wasn't exactly pleased that she had done that, "they really don't have a choice but to accept you if they want to be included... Bambi, you're very easy to love. Trust me, they will see you for how amazing you are and forget all about the fact that you're a minor." Edward smirked. It was the first real smile he'd given her in months.
"SIXTEEN, EDWARD?" Bella cringed next to Edward as his father animatedly waved his arms in disapproval. "I can't believe you! First the Army over med school, and then you leave to be Amish, and now you bring home a sixteen-year-old Amish girl, pregnant no less!"
"Carlisle, please calm down," Esme, Edward's mother, implored him. She wanted her son back, and she saw the light that Bella brought back in him. The last thing she wanted was her son to hightail it back to Lancaster.
"Nothing I do is ever right!" Edward yelled back. "Not to you, anyway! You never gave a shit about what I wanted. All you ever accomplished was pushing me away! Being with Bella...is right, whether you think that's possible or not."
Bella stood timidly to the side, unable to make eye contact with anyone but Edward. Edward looked at the girl he could never walk away from, no matter what, and was thankful she was in his life. Not matter what events had happened in the past to bring them together.
Sometimes reality has a way of sneaking up on people. Then the dam bursts, and all you can do is swim. Edward could only lie to himself for so long. He was tired and he was scared, denying it didn't change the truth. Sooner or later he had to put aside his denial and face the world, head on, guns blazing. Denial: it's not just a river in Egypt, it's an ocean. Now he had to figure out how to keep from drowning in it. The only life jacket he could see was Bella. "Look, I didn't come here to be judged by you. I didn't come here to get your approval. I came here to get some support." Edward took a deep breath to calm himself down. "Every death I ever saw in war...nothing, none of it, compares to what I saw in that school house. Do you have any idea how hard it is to put six-year-old girls into body bags? Because I do. I didn't come here to create more gossip for the rich housewives of Chicago, though God knows they love to talk about me," Edward scoffed with a cynical chuckle. "And I'm sure they will love to know how I got a sixteen-year-old pregnant. I came here because I don't want to run away anymore. I can't run from hate. I can't run from evil."
"Are you saying you want to stay here?" Bella finally spoke up, confused.
Edward didn't even consider what he was saying or that was the way he felt, he was just speaking from his heart, and those were the words that poured from his lips.
"All I know is, I don't regret anything anymore, because everything that happened to me brought me here, to Bella. And I wouldn't give back a single day if it meant never finding her...and Bella...I can be anywhere as long as you're by my side."
Bella smiled at Edward. He had stopped running. He was accepting. He couldn't change the past and everything he had suffered through had a purpose, to bring him to her. She wasn't sure what got him from point A to B, but whatever it was, she was grateful.
Edward knew he had cared a great deal for Sarah. He knew that if Bella had never come back, he would have married her. It would have been a second choice life, but he would have been content. He would have grown to love her, even if he would have always been in love with Bella.
Now that Bella was back, his feelings for her eclipsed what he had felt for Sarah. It didn't mean that he cared any less for her or was hurting less over her death; just that Bella was the woman he was meant to be with. She was his home.
He thought of Sarah quoting old movies or laughing at his failed attempts to pronounce German. He thought of how they would stroll by the schoolhouse hand-in-hand every day after school. She was always trying to teach him something new about the Amish life.
They had stopped by the oak tree and sat side by side, while she read some Amish romance novel out loud, pointing out all the flaws. She said she was going to write her own novel about living Amish and falling in love. "Maybe even with an English man," she had laughed.
"Oh? Will be become Amish for her, or will she leave her world behind for him?" Edward had asked her.
"I'm not sure, I guess I'll have to wait and see." Edward had brought his arm around her and kissed the top of her head.
"What are you thinking about?" Bella asked Edward, bringing him from his memory.
"Just the past," Edward smiled. He knew when he'd seen Sarah lying in a puddle of blood that she wasn't there. He knew that she was soaring high above in the heavens. The memories didn't make him sad; they actually brought a small smile to his face.
Things in the Cullen house calmed down after the initial shock. Esme invited everyone to sit in the less-formal living room of the classic greystone. Before they made their way out of the large kitchen, Esme stopped her son.
"Edward, I'm so glad you are home," she told him with another hug.
"Me too Mom, me too," Edward said, enjoying the comfort of his mothers arms.
"I know you have a lot going on, but how do you feel about becoming a father?"
Edward ran his hand through his hair. He hadn't really had time to actually process that information. "I'm getting used to the idea," Edward smiled at her.
"And, Bella? She is so young. If you stay, she won't have much help or support," Esme said.
"She isn't an average sixteen-year-old, Mom. She was raised a lot differently. At sixteen, most Amish start looking for husbands or wives. She is more prepared for this role than I am," Edward explained.
"Well, if you stay, I will do anything I can to help."
"Thanks Mom," Edward said, wrapping his arm across her shoulder as they made their way to join Bella and Carlisle.
Bella was in shock after everything Edward had revealed since they arrived. Esme asked her husband to have an open mind about Edward's relationship with Bella. She could see how special their love was, and she knew it was just what Edward needed.
Edward and Bella, told them about how they had begun to see each other, with Edward protecting her from her rebellious ways. Carlisle got a kick out of this; he thought for sure that his son would be the first to encourage testing boundaries.
As much as Edward believed that his father was disappointed in him, he wasn't at all. He was proud of his son for being able to stand up for what he wanted, and be different. It was just very hard for him to admit it aloud.
"I'd like to make a toast," Esme announced. No one was actually drinking except Carlisle who had a glass of scotch, but she wasn't going to let that stop her.
"Nothing makes sense in this world. It's a mystery how anything happens. But, it's what we do about it that counts. How you both met, that was fate. But, that doesn't mean that it was easy and a lot of things came between you and your love. But, use your faith in each other and in the future and that's what I'd like to toast: to trusting that the end is worth it...and never letting go of that promise."
"Your mother is right. It was fate that brought Bella into your life Edward, and when fate comes into play, choice goes out the window. I hope the two of you find your place in the world, and we are here to do whatever we can to help you." Carlisle added. He held his glass up, Bella blushed as Edward brought his lips to hers for a chaste kiss, and everyone drank to fate.
Soon, Edward and Bella were back at his condo. Edward felt at home. "Home sweet home," Edward yawned, stretching his arms above his head, his t-shirt riding up to expose his stomach and the line of hair down his belly button. He was exhausted after the flight and all of the revelations of the day. It felt good to open up, let people in. It felt good to swim. At least now he knew he was heading to shore.
"This is where you belong," Bella said. She wasn't sure how she felt about it. She knew that Edward didn't need to be Amish.
For the first time in months, Edward knew where he belonged and Bella was right. "You're right. I've missed it here." Edward smiled at her. "Do you like it here? I mean I know we have only been here a day, but could you see yourself here?" Edward asked, because if she hated it, he would leave it behind for her. He missed his parents, even if things with his father were never exactly easy.
His father surprised him tonight. For the first time, Edward felt like his father had his back.
"I don't know," Bella told him. There were things about being English she loved, but there were also things she didn't enjoy.
"I don't get it...I thought this would be what you wanted...not to be Amish. Not to be so restricted, I thought this whole trip was to see if I could survive without that crutch...?"
"Edward, I was Amish for sixteen years. That is sixteen Thanksgivings, sixteen birthdays, sixteen Christmases, and in one day I am supposed to make a choice to end that, to lose my family? A person doesn't do that, not without a little hesitation. I'm entitled to a little uncertainty here, for just a moment to understand the magnitude of what it means to cut somebody out of my life. I am entitled to at least one moment of doubt and a little understanding from you would be nice."
"You're right, I'm sorry," Edward told her bringing her into a hug.
"I'm not saying no, I just need more than a one day."
"I know. We have a lot to talk about still. I just never thought I'd still feel like I was home here, and it feels good."
"I know, Edward. I'm so glad you are making progress...but when I wanted to get out so bad, leave that all behind, it wasn't as real. I mean here we are and I can get out and it's scary all of a sudden. I have so many questions. I don't even know which one to ask first. I think my dad was right, we really need to ask the Lord what to do."
Reviews are always appreciated, and if you want a teaser let me know. The next chapter is complete and I think it might be one of my favorites!