Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just decided it was time to shake things up a bit in her characters' world. And I wanted a bitchy Bella, so here we go!

Oh, and all of the references used in this story in relation to the advertising and marketing company and accounts are only used here for entertainment purposes; no copyright infringement intended.

Thank you to the following people: Angelicwish, who has gone above and beyond the call of duty to provide this insecure writer with loads of feedback and as my stand-in beta; Lita for making me beautiful banners and being awesome in general; and last but certainly not least, to Jen – she makes me smile like good deli sandwiches with pickles! And thanks to all of you who read and profess your love for this story! I love you!

This is a long one, kids, so settle in.

Chapter Twenty: Two roads diverged…

As I ate my sandwich and pickle, I took the time to seriously reflect on my ridiculous -- and rather two-faced -- actions since we arrived in Chicago. I had told Edward that I was tired of fighting with him, tired of fighting my feelings for him; yet that's exactly what I was still doing. It wasn't right, and it wasn't fair to either of us.

The conversation between Aro, Tanya, Edward and me had I guess forced some much-needed light on the issue. I was still being a horrible bitch to Edward -- a man I was developing serious feelings for, despite my own efforts at sabotage -- and I needed to change my attitude. There was too much at stake now.

If I continued on this path of destruction, I was certainly going to drive Edward away, both personally and professionally. There was the lingering dilemma of what he'd do at the end of this week, and now with Aro's offer thrown into the mix, I certainly wasn't doing Swan & Platte any favors by sticking to my Bitch Boss role.

What is my fucking problem? Get over yourself, for once.

The time for self-destruction, relationship sabotage and selfishness was long-since over, I decided. Edward's value was more than his position, a handful of clients and pride in the face of an adversary. How stupid could I have been to ignore this fact for so long?

He means so much more to me. He means the world to me.

This man had remained by my side while I tried to make him despise me; he had tolerated the fighting and nasty comments, the avoidance and endless contradictions; he had rescued me in more ways than one, despite all that I am, and for some reason he still wanted to be where I was.

Edward was extremely loyal, caring, intelligent and considered the consequences before he opened his mouth, unlike me. My actions toward him had been more pathetic than an overly melodramatic soap opera.

Why couldn't I just let him in? Hasn't he proven himself? God only knows what he thinks of me. Would he even want me in the long-run? Even if we could find a way?

"Oh shit." I nearly choked on my bite of sandwich.

I was in love with Edward Cullen.

After all of the mess I'd worked so hard to create.

Oh shit.

I do not love you as if you were a salt rose, or topaz
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

************

Wednesday morning brought a new day and a new outlook on things; I had barely slept the night before, so I was dressed and ready much earlier than usual. Three times I almost went to knock on Edward's door; but then I told myself that since I had most likely been torturing him for the last three days, I could suffer for a little longer.

Finally my nerves got the better of me, so I sent him a quick text just in case he was still sleeping. It was just after 5:30 a.m.

Edward – Thank u for the sandwich. It was so sweet of u. Are u awake?

Nervously I paced between my bedroom and the sitting room and waited. After what seemed like hours, my cell phone beeped from the nightstand and I almost tripped over my shoes reaching for it.

Yup, I'm up. What's wrong? U ok?

And then I practically ran over to his hotel room, knocking quietly but insistently until he came to the door. Edward looked so good standing in hotel room doorways. His hair, as usual, was sticking out in all directions and he had pulled on a pair of jeans, probably left in a heap on the floor given the amount of wrinkles present. His white cotton t-shirt was perfectly snug, but thankfully he was dressed.

"I'm so sorry to wake you Edward," I began. "Do you mind terribly if I come in?"

Sleepily he shook his head, and opened the door the remainder of the way so I could enter. As soon as I shut it behind me I threw my arms around his neck and plastered a most-heartfelt kiss on his lips. Initially I could feel the surprise in his stance as he instinctively returned my kiss, but then his body relaxed and his hands found my waist and squeezed as he pressed my body against his own.

"Woah. Guess you're feeling better. What was that for," he asked breathlessly when I broke our kiss. "Did you decide to beat me to it on the good morning kiss today?"

I couldn't help but chuckle at his adorable but incorrect guess.

"Not exactly," I said, kissing him again a few more times. "And yes, I'm feeling much better, thanks. I just wanted to thank you properly for the sandwich you left for me. It was so thoughtful and sweet. And I don't think I say 'thank you' nearly enough -- especially to you."

Edward affectionately rubbed my back as I spoke, only kindness reflected in his clear emerald eyes. Apparently my own vision had cleared as well -- the sandwich, the note, his reception of me so early in the morning, every gesture -- these were all things I loved about Edward. Love. Edward.

"You're welcome, Bella," he said softly. "Though you certainly didn't have to make a special trip next door to tell me that. So…what's really on your mind?"

I wanted to tell him how I felt. I wanted to shout it, really. I wanted to stay with him all day, every day, locked in our own little world where it was just the two of us.

"Well, since the incident with Aro yesterday, I've been thinking a lot and I just want to tell you that I'm so thankful for you and all you've done for me…and Esme too, of course," I said. "Truthfully, I don't know what I'd do without you. But I also know that I'm not the only one who appreciates your talents. I would understand if you were tempted by Aro's offer, and I want you to be completely open with me about whether you feel it's something that holds any interest for you. I haven't consulted with Esme about this in particular, but I'm confident in telling you that if you would like to stay with Swan & Platte that there might be some room for negotiation."

Part of me couldn't believe I had just uttered those words. What was I offering him? Suddenly I had no idea. But my mind raced with the possibilities -- any possibilities -- that might keep Edward with us and out of Aro's slimy clutches. Esme would definitely agree with that concept.

"Wow," Edward said. "When I asked you what was on your mind, I had no idea it was all that. I've had some time to think as well and I'll admit that I did consider Aro's offer. I hope you won't be too offended, but I called him last night and we spoke for a short time about what exactly he was offering."

My breath caught in my throat and I was surprised by the stinging wetness that blurred my line of sight. Edward was going to leave me. Us. As I struggled not to cry, I silently prepared myself for his next words.

"So what he told me sounded amazing -- and too good to be true. So I did a little research and called a few contacts. It took a little digging, but I found what I was looking for," he said. I waited. "Bella, I know how twisted Aro is. And I learned all about Marcus and Caius. What they offered isn't worth my life and my soul. I honestly can't believe they've managed not to attract the FBI. They must have an amazing team of lawyers at their disposal. Not to mention a few mob bosses and police chiefs in their back pockets."

I let out the breath I'd been holding and wrapped my arms around Edward again in a fierce hug. He wasn't fooled by Aro and his minions; he was going to be safe.

"Thank God, Edward," I sighed. "I was so worried. You have no idea."

"Did you really think I'd leave?"

"I can't say that I would have blamed you at this point," I replied. "And in the end, I can't force you to stay. On the surface, Aro does make a compelling argument."

"Bella, first of all, I like my work at Swan & Platte. Second of all, I'm a deceptively tough guy. Yes, you infuriate me -- a lot -- and most of the time I have no idea what's going through that head of yours, but the thought of working for Aro makes my skin crawl. I told him 'no'."

When I smiled in relief, Edward held my face with his hands, and I shivered as his thumb traced a path along my jaw and across my lips. He smiled -- this time his eyes full of some masked emotion -- and kissed me deeply.

"Besides, there's no way in hell I'm going to work with Tanya," he said, shaking his head and watching me closely. I tried not to show my jealousy but I must have slipped, because Edward began to laugh moments later. He kissed my nose and pulled me closer to him so that my cheek was pressed against his chest. I inhaled deeply, enjoying the smell of him. "She's about as subtle as a Mack truck. She called me last night. Aro must have given her my cell number."

For the second time in ten minutes I was breathless. Are you kidding me? Tanya was making a play for Edward despite him having turned down Aro's offer. It was unbelievable, and totally Tanya. I was horrified, but only for a moment.

"I didn't answer the phone, Bella," Edward said, as if he knew exactly what I was thinking. "And when I get back to Seattle, I'm changing my number."

For a few minutes, Edward and I embraced and kissed, standing in his hotel room -- me in my suit and him in his rumpled jeans -- and it felt different. Perhaps I'd never really paid enough attention to how gentle and passionate Edward was with me. Maybe I hadn't wanted to see it.

"Edward, I hate to stop, but I think you need to get ready and then we have to get to the convention center," I said, kissing him lightly once more. It was already past six, and we still needed to get breakfast. I started to walk away from him but he caught my wrist and pulled me back.

"Bella, I want you to know -- I really care about you," he whispered, placing feathery kisses all over my face. "I don't know how you feel, but I really want to try to make this work beyond this week and whatever follows when we get back."

Momentarily stunned, I looked up at him, blinking, before I responded.

"Me too," I managed. Awesome. "I mean, I care deeply about you too Edward. And I really want this to work as well. Really, I do."

With that settled and the air clearer between us, Edward sat me on his bed while he showered. In order to distract myself from a wet and naked Edward, however, I ran to get us muffins and coffee and when I returned he was dressed and thankful for the sustenance. I went back to my room to brush my teeth and grab my things and then we left for the convention center.

On our ride over I could feel Edward's eyes on me, but whenever I'd catch him and ask, "What," he'd shrug and smile and say it was nothing. It was making me a bit paranoid…but then again, I secretly enjoyed it. As the commuter bus pulled up to the entrance and once everyone had filed out, Edward grasped my hand and turned my face to his with one long finger.

"Bella, everything will be fine today, okay," he said in a reassuring tone. I just nodded so he continued. "Aro and Tanya won't bother us again, and we can have dinner tonight after the exhibit shift if you'd like."

"I'd like that very much Edward," I said sincerely, squeezing his hand. With one reciprocal squeeze, he released my hand and let me lead us off the bus. The hall was crowded and noisy but we found our seats quickly and moments later the lights dimmed. Once I felt certain no one would see, I ran my fingers over Edward's thigh to the inside of his leg and let them rest there briefly. Immediately the muscles in his leg tensed and I looked up to see him staring at me, his expression almost pained. Slowly, I removed my hand, but held his gaze.

I wanted to tell Edward how I felt so badly; that it was more than simply caring about him. But this was neither the time nor the place, so I turned my attention to the front of the room and the speaker. The electricity between us was constant throughout the morning, and it only served to heighten my awareness of Edward and what we might be doing that evening.

Work first. Then play, I reminded myself.

The day dragged on for me, and I couldn't help but wonder if Edward felt remotely the same. During lunch I ducked outside to make a quick phone call to Esme, both to check in with her and to tell her of my offer to Edward. Given the situation and additional information about Aro, Esme agreed and I told her we'd meet first thing on Monday to discuss the options. I told her I'd be checking out the city later in the week.

"And Esme? You were right – about everything," I said, hoping she would understand what I was implying. The other end was silent; I could only imagine her expression on the other side. "We'll discuss it when I get back, but until then I'll be in touch if the need arises. Thanks again."

"Of course, B," she said softly, having regained her voice. "I'm…so glad. And yes, that's fine. We'll talk when you and Edward return." Again there was silence, and I fought the urge to gush everything to her like a silly school girl. It could wait.

"Ok, Esme, well then I'll talk to you soon and see you at the concert, right?"

"Right! Oh yes! Wonderful! Bye!"

With a sense of hope for the future, I walked back through the doors to the convention center and spied Edward waiting for me outside the dining room. His eyes nervously darted around him until he spotted me, and then it seemed like his whole demeanor changed and his body relaxed.

"Hey, I was wondering where you went," he said as I approached. We fell into a synchronized pace as we walked back toward the hall for the afternoon sessions. "Everything alright?"

"Yes, everything is fine Edward," I said. "Great, in fact. I wanted to give Esme a quick ring to bring her up to speed on something and discuss some other business."

If Edward was curious about our conversation he didn't let on, and as we entered the hall I felt his fingertips at the small of my back. We took our seats and I turned to him before the session began. He seemed uneasy.

"Edward, are you alright? You seem…worried," I offered. He furrowed his brow for just a moment, and I noticed a small dimple-like indentation above his left brow, only visible now. I don't know how I could have missed that.

"Oh, I'm okay," he answered. "I'm just looking forward to the end of this day, more so than usual. Don't you agree?"

"Mmmm, definitely," I admitted, blushing. Edward caught the flush of my skin that time, the lights not doing me any kindness.

The afternoon dragged on as the morning had and I could barely sit still. A few times Edward and I caught each other fidgeting or squirming, and when we did we'd laugh quietly at the ridiculousness of the situation. I rolled my eyes when I realized we still had a three-hour booth shift in the exhibit hall ahead of us. How the hell am I going to make it through that?

Luckily activity at our booth was frantic and the two of us were occupied by visitors and interested potential clients who had been invited into the hall for that evening. If it weren't for the idea of what waited for me after, I would have enjoyed myself completely. As the crowds dwindled and the night wound to a close, I slipped out of my heels to tidy up and give my feet a break.

"I see a foot massage in your immediate future," came a voice from behind me. I nearly slumped to the floor as Edward's strong hands began kneading my shoulders. "Wow, Bella, you are a ball of knotted muscles. I'm going to need to assess your whole body later. We can't have this."

Yes, please. Assess me. Full body, preferably naked, evaluation.

"Promise?"

In answer, Edward turned me to him and kissed me slowly but firmly. I felt myself melting and wondered if I'd be up to the task of anything but falling asleep later. Hopefully after a meal, I'd be able to revive myself. It was that important to me.

"Come on, let's get back to the hotel," Edward said, taking my hand and my briefcase for me. "We need to get you a nice relaxing bath, and I'll order room service. We can watch an 80s movie after I give you a massage."

OhmyGod. I love you.

True to his word, when we got back to the hotel, Edward drew me a bath in my suite, and then slowly undressed me as I sat like a lump on my bed. In any other circumstance it would have been sexual, but Edward was so tender, carefully folding each item once he removed it, massaging my legs as he pulled off my stockings, rubbing my feet once they were free of my heels. He pulled the pins out of my hair and ran his fingers through my tresses as they fell, still twisted, over my shoulder. Once I was undressed he wrapped me in a robe and carried me to the tub, sitting me on the edge.

After rolling up the sleeves of his striped blue and white work shirt he tested the water temperature and slipped the robe off. Slowly I eased myself into the tub, exhaling as I submerged my tired, aching body.

"Thank you so much Edward," I murmured. "No one has ever drawn me a bath before. You're too good to me."

Opening my eyes, I found Edward sitting on the toilet seat facing me. He stood up, kissed my forehead, and put a towel where he'd been sitting.

"You're welcome," he said. Sadness distorted his beautiful features for a second. "I'm so sorry that you've never been taken care of. You are certainly worthy of it. Everyone deserves to be adored and cared for. I'm going to go next door and change and then I'll call for some room service. You stay here and relax. I'll be back shortly."

I twisted my hair up and off my neck and then leaned back and closed my eyes again. Soon after the door to my suite clicked shut, I must have dozed off.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth.

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same.

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

The click of the hotel door shutting woke me with a start, and I realized my skin was pruned and the bathwater chilled. For a moment, I panicked.

"Edward? Are you there?"

His bronze mop became visible before his glorious face, and instinctively I smiled with the reassurance that he had not disappeared. He had changed into jeans and a dark grey thermal. Yum.

"I'm here. You ready to get out?"

Edward repeated the same loving tasks in reverse order, wrapping me in a towel and painstakingly drying every inch of my skin. Then he wrapped me again in the robe and insisted on carrying me back into the suite.

"You're like a limp noodle Bella," he reasoned. "Bedroom or sitting room for dinner and a movie?"

We opted for the sitting room for dinner. Edward proudly laid out the feast he had gathered for us: Chinese and sodas. Chinese was my weakness. Edward too. We ate in comfortable silence, and the food did wonders for my body and mind. After dinner Edward gave me the choice of a movie first or his special massage. I chose the massage, of course.

After leading me back to the bedroom, Edward arranged some towels across the bed and pulled a bottle of massage lotion from his back pocket. He was so adorable and proud of his plan that my stomach did little flips as I arranged myself across the bed, lying on my stomach, completely naked. I couldn't help but chuckle when I felt him cover me with another towel.

"I'll never get through your massage if you're completely naked under me, Bella," he offered in explanation, and I just smiled. Slowly and with sure hands, Edward worked out every kinked muscle from my neck down to my lower back. He took special care of my shoulders, hands, fingers and spine as he moved further. The warmth of his talented fingers further relaxed me and I drifted in and out of consciousness.

"Mmmm….Edward you have amazing fingers," I murmured. Edward's weight over me shifted and his breath tickled my ear as he replied.

"Why thank you, Bella," he whispered. "I'm so glad that you enjoy them. I live to serve." Sleepily I giggled at this last comment, as I felt the towel move off my bottom. The cold was quickly replaced by warmth as his hands kneaded my flesh and I couldn't help the moan that escaped. It felt so damn good; I had no idea.

"Bella, you're not helping me concentrate here," Edward said from behind me. His hands, however, did not stop their advance and I exhaled nosily when he reached the intersection of my ass and upper thighs. I had no idea how tense my ass was. He is a god with magical hands. Figures he'd give good massage too. Edward continued down my thighs, lifting my legs so he could reach around to the front to get the muscles there. I was so turned on and at the same time relaxed. When he reached my feet, I knew I was in heaven, and moaned again as he pressed his thumbs into the arch of one foot. He squeezed each toe and when he was done with that foot I felt his lips press into the skin at my ankle.

"You are an angel, sent to me by some really forgiving god, aren't you," I mumbled, one side of my face still against the towels. It came out as more of a slur than I expected. I felt the towel over me again and the bed give as Edward stood. Moments later he crouched in front of me, his fingers now working on my scalp. I closed my eyes to enjoy the sensation.

"You're really tired, aren't you," I heard him say softly. I shook my head as rigorously as I could; he needed to understand.

"I'm serious, Edward," I insisted. "I don't deserve you. I don't deserve any of this. Monsters like me don't deserve happiness and people like you."

Edward's lips brushed my forehead and the backs of his knuckles skimmed my cheek as he shushed me.

"Bella, first of all, you are not a monster," he said. When I began to argue, he silenced me with a finger over my lips. "Second of all, I think you do deserve happiness, and love and all of the things that apparently you think you are unworthy of receiving." When I shook my head -- ever the stubborn mare -- Edward pulled me off the bed, wrapped me in my robe and sat me in front of him.

"No, Bella, I want you to listen. This is important," he said. My heart broke into a gallop. "No one is beyond redemption. We all have good and evil in us, and I think sometimes we stray off the path, get a bit lost. And what we need is for someone to guide us back to where we should be.

"This is what life is -- a long, often difficult, hopefully rewarding journey," Edward continued, and all I could do was gaze at him in astonishment. "We all make mistakes, but that's why it's best not to go it all alone. Friends help us, love helps us. You don't have to be alone, and you don't have to be frightened."

The words he spoke were more meaningful than any others I'd ever heard before. This man -- who I loved -- was telling me that he forgave me; that he thought I was worth it; that he knew there was much more than the façade, and that I didn't have to do any of this alone. But it was my choice, and for that I loved him even more. And I needed to tell him. The fear, however, had taken up residence in my heart long ago, and wouldn't be easily squashed.

"Edward, I…I don't know what to say," I croaked as my eyes filled with tears. "No one has ever said anything like that to me." His hands rubbed my sides in a soothing gesture, which only caused the tears to spill faster. "You are a wonderful man. If I merit redemption, then you are most definitely my personal angel. And I am one incredibly lucky lady."

It only scratched the surface of the murky depths of my feelings for Edward, but it would have to come in pieces. I decided that each day I'd tell him something, so that he never left me not knowing how I felt. It was the least I owed him.

Edward wiped my tears with the pads of his thumbs, and leaned in to kiss me in reply to my declaration. I grasped his face with both hands and held him to me as closely as possible, though he was still kneeling on the floor between my legs. We kissed like that for a few minutes, simply needing the close contact. Finally, Edward gave me a peck on the nose and suggested I get comfortable for the movie. Emotionally exhausted, I agreed and changed into my flannel PJs while he removed the towels and then scrolled through the movie selections on TV. Once we'd agreed on a movie -- Funny Farm -- Edward pulled back the covers and I climbed in.

With him resting against the headboard on propped up pillows, I settled against his chest and placed my hand over his heart. Edward wrapped his arm around me and kissed the top of my head. The steady thumping rhythm of his pulse quickly lulled me to sleep again; I don't even think I made it to the part with the lost moving van.

It was dark in the room and a gentle movement woke me up. Edward was standing over me, pulling the blankets up; the TV was off and only the light from the hall illuminated his form.

"I'm going to go to my room Bella," he whispered. "It's okay. Go back to sleep."

"No! Edward, please stay with me tonight," I practically begged, reaching for him in the dark. "Please don't go." He paused only for a moment, but then pulled his shirt over his head and unbuttoned his jeans. Clad in only his boxers, he slid into bed and I immediately arranged myself in the same position: head on his chest and my hand over his heart. I draped one leg over his and felt his hand slide down my thigh and stay there. His other hand ran through my hair.

"Thank you for staying Edward," I whispered, and reached up to kiss him.

"You're welcome. Wouldn't want to be anywhere else," he answered, returning the kiss.

I love you, Edward.

I was asleep again within minutes.

A/N: So, Bella made a lot of progress this chapter, don't you think? This was a real turning point for her, and I think she made the right decision. I, for one, am so proud of her! And oh my goodness, I think I've fallen in love with Edward even more too! He always knows just what to say.

The first excerpt was from Love Sonnet XVII by Pablo Neruda and the second poem is, obviously, The Road not Taken by Robert Frost. He's another of my favorites and I've always loved this poem. At some points when I've read it, I've interpreted it as strictly inspiration and a challenge to not take the easy way out. But at its core, it's a statement about life and that every inevitable choice leads to an unanticipated outcome. We can never be sure of where any road will lead, unless we take it and live it. So it was appropriate here for a multitude of reasons.

Thank you everyone, and please leave comments/reviews. I love them like hot baths and relaxing massages! Next chapter will be so damn good – promise!

(It's already written in my head.)