Oh, yes, the damn disclaimer: seriosuly, do we really have to do it? Because, Jeez, if I'd own them, I'd not be here writing it, I'd be the writeer of a TV Shows and, well, we'd have the LIsbon romance for real...meanwhile, I just "write, draw, create, dream, hope and believe in Bruno, waiting for him to be blessed bu the light of reason..." (No, this discalimer isn't mine, it belongs to one fo the girls who wite Mentalist fiction on the italian site efpfiction, but don't tell me many of you don't share this vision...).

All the merits for this story in particular, though, go to me and, especially, PetiteJ: she gaves me not only the prompt, but ended up as co-autor- she provided lines, and, moslty, plot ideas for all the times I was having a hard toime figuring soemthing out or havoing writer's block...

I'd like to say thnak you to beccarae21,3R1N14S,Jisbon4ever, silvermonkeyhunter, tsukimonse, thepower818,mbleiva24, marie-scr,LAurore, In The Name, beccarae21, Rising Star 13, TheMentalisGirl, Lygia Ford-Nothman,Agent Glory, Diamond Lily425, Sym64 for reviews, alerts, favoriting the story... I really hope I didn't forget anyone! (If I did, I beg your pardon)

And now, here we go with chapter 3...

3.

As at least a couple of other times, the ones he actually remembers, Jane is leaning against Lisbon's veranda, closed eyes, enjoying the feel and the smell of the imminent early autumn evening, but, differently from those times, he isn't a guest any longer, but the host. This is home, and this is my family. Teresa and Jess are my family. His eyes, for probably the first time in the day, fall on his left hand, and he starts to rub his white gold wedding band, something he hadn't done one single time, not one, and he can't help but wonder if it's because this Patrick is so used to this, that is now second nature to him being Teresa Lisbon's husband, or if it's because he already knows the answer to his questions-and few of them he hasn't already made them.

I knew I was going to eventually move on, I knew that Monica and Rachel would have wanted me to move on. And he knows that Lisbon has been part of those thoughts for a long time, the thoughts that inspired him to go on and survive, to embrace life instead of death and vengeance. He may not be ready to voice them yet, but the main reason he still stays on that sofa on the CBI bullpen is that the view of her office is great, and, mostly, he'll never admit, not even on his death bed, that she is the main protagonist of his dreams, where he is in front of the aisle and when he turns he sees her walking towards him, dressed in a white dream of silk and chiffon, or, in his "wedding nightmares", walking down the aisle towards the "hot mail guy". And, instead of the perfect wedding she deserved, I gave her that pathetic excuse of a ceremony… he believes that he and Lisbon could have a future, or, at least, that's what he has always wanted to believe, but there was always one condition to take care of before to reach happiness again…

"Tell me, Grace, do you ever wonder how Red John plagued our lives for so long?" Apparently, even if lost in this whatever it is that he is tuck into, sometimes, just sometimes, his mind can still works, so, thanks to his "almighty mentalist abilities", like he has always liked to call them to annoy people (Lisbon and Grace) , he felt the incoming arrival of the redhead former rookie.

He knows Grace, because, even if he has always claimed that Lisbon was the translucent one, Grace was even worst. Grace was, is, transparent, there's nothing he could miss about her (and if she thinks he didn't know about her story with Rigsby, well, the woman is definitely wrong), and he doesn't need to turn and look at her to know she just walked to him because she is dead worried about one of her best friends. He knows how her eyes look without looking at them; he knows how her lips are closed without turning to face her.

"Jane, do you remember when you kept repeating us that you wanted nothing out of life if not killing and torturing Red John, do you remember what Teresa used to tell you, that she knew you and that you were going to chose life, even if you claimed the opposite? – the red head crosses her arms, and, even if they are close, they are not facing each other, because they are too lost in the scene in front of them, in Jess and Kristie walking towards the Rigsby's cars, ready for their first sleepover, never been so energetic, like high on sugars, while Wayne doesn't seem able to keep up with them, and Teresa, at his back, can't stop laughing, happy and radiant, proud of her little girl and sad because she is going to not have her all for herself, and when they finally say goodbye, Teresa runs back into the house, trying to hide her tears, trying to seem stronger, something he is quite used to- Jane, when you refused to kill him, you choose life, you choose to start living again, and believe me when I say that you healed Teresa as well. You saved her, Jane, in more way than one; you gave Teresa her life back…"

He turns to look at her, and he even opens his mouth, but can't really say anything, and it's not because he doesn't know what happened to "this" Red John, he can't talk because he can't really argue with that, because every word Grace said it's true, and it's not only about Red John or life in general, because, even if he loves the team like they were his blood, there's just one person he would always save, one person he would do anything for, and that person is, always has been, Teresa Lisbon, the same Teresa Lisbon he saved from one of Red John's associates, killing their only lead to the murderer, the one he helped in getting rid of an accusation of murder, the one he "rescued" when she was almost losing her job, because of him, the one he confessed about his nervous breakdown, the one he danced with after he hadn't danced for years with a woman in that intimate way, the one he forced to make a trust fall, the one he gave a pony to, the one he gave 235.000 $ worth of emeralds to, the one he forced to make a trust fall, the one he has always wanted to pose as his wife….

He really can't understand how, back then, he couldn't see that it was all about her, about making her happy, about being the one making her happy…

"Jane, you should stop questioning this. You should be glad for what you gained and enjoy your life.- she pauses, and finally faces him, putting a hand in her friend's heart, looking into his blue eyes, and Jane wonders how is it possible that two pairs of eyes of the same color ,in the same shade of green, even, Grace's and Teresa's, may have such a different effect on him- I've known you long enough to be able to say that you still think you don't deserve this, Patrick, but hear me out, you do. You are a good man, Patrick Jane, you didn't deserve the bad things that happened to you, they weren't your fault, and this happiness… believe me, Patrick, I know what I say when I tell you to welcome it at open arms."

"Yeah…maybe…" he simply says, not looking into her eyes, fearing that she could see something, something he isn't sure what it may be, so, he just scrolls his shoulders, like it was nothing, like it passed, like he could be back to the "old" Patrick Jane, the one they seem know, the one who built a family with Teresa Lisbon and overcame his personal ghosts and inner demons.

"C'mon Jane, I thought we man were supposed to have cold feet on our wedding day, not at the vows renovation! – Wayne interrupts in his usual way the moment, like the living teddy bear he is, smiling, happy, easy going, embracing Grace from behind, putting a sweet kiss on her neck as he holds her thigh – sorry to interrupt, but I finally managed to divide Teresa from Jess, and if we wait another minute, I'm pretty sure she'll kidnap her own daughter…"

"We're renovating our vows – Patrick states, looking in the void and not at the two in front of him, his voice low, and some weird part of his mind trying to register and elaborate the information- we're renovating our nuptial vows!" he almost screams, and, while Wayne is laughing so much he is breathless and has to keep his stomach, Grace is almost scared, because, as weird as Patrick Jane may be, he has never been that weird. The red head is seriously considering calling Teresa and telling her that that fight he got into the day before must have been worse than what they thought and that he should go to a doctor…

"Jane, you remember you've been married for almost five years, right? – She tells him, frantically, almost crying in desperation, as she hugs him, taking Jane by surprise, while Wayne seems to be witnessing something he sees quite often, and so he simply comes back to his car – and Jess is crazy to see her mommy with a wedding dress on! You can't have forgotten this, right?" Patrick really doesn't know if he simply is a sucker for green eyes in general, or only Grace and Teresa's ones have this effect on him, but he melts looking at her, at the tears almost leaving her orbs…

He closes his eyes, trying to remember exactly how Teresa smells, smiles, feels under his fingerprints, against his body, her lips on his own, and the image of the day they danced together appears in his mind: he understood many things of her, that day, by the way she was gripping at him, like she let it go, the way she melted against him…

"Teresa always wanted the classical white wedding – he simply says, still at closed eyes, trying to picture the moment in his mind, knowing too well that, is this real, he'll have to actually get to see it, and not only dream about it – and, with me being me, I had to behave as my usual, and I ruined her wedding fantasy… - he pauses, again, looking again at Grace, half serious and half joking – c'mon, Grace, I was joking, how could I forget my own wedding renovation?"

"It seems you are forgetting a lot of stuff, lately" she finally moves away from him, but her lifted eyebrows and corned expression, her concerned and suspicious expression, say it all.

"Oh, please Grace, you should know by know I like to play the role of the fool for you all!"

"I still think you are acting pretty weirdly today, Patrick, even Wayne noticed it, and as much as I love him it's WAYNE we're talking about here!"– She tells him smiling and blushing, even a bit shyly, just to come back to her concerned self, the one Patrick used to make fun of when they were both a bit younger and he was still a broken soul who didn't thought a tomorrow could exist any longer – Jane, today you've been so… off the whole day. I think you should consider seeing a doctor, maybe Stellar hit you harder than you thought…"

"No, no, that's not what happening, not at all – he says, trying to smile, but an uncomfortable smile, the one of a person who doesn't know if he should trust someone with an information, but not because he doesn't trust Grace de facto, only because he already knows she'll find it crazy and plain stupid, and, scratching the back of his neck a bit, he takes a big breath and decides to let it go, maybe it will help me clear my mind, besides, it's not like I have to tell her everything… - it's just, I don't know if it happens the same with you, that sometime you are so happy you think you are dreaming?- she smiles, nodding, the kind of smile that not only tells him she understands what he means, but what he feels right now as well, even if, he is quite sure of that, not as much as he'd like – well, that's kind of what's wrong with me"

"Patrick, there's nothing wrong with you, you're just human! – She tells him hugging and giving him a kiss on the cheek, whispering the last sentence before parting, a bit scared about the possibility of Teresa Lisbon, still their boss, listening to this conversation – I bet Teresa feels the same once in a while, even if she'll never admit it"

"It's just that – Patrick takes a big breath, his hands running through his blond curls, his eyes sweet and a bit sad, focused on the car where he can see two children playing together, singing and being happy – this morning I woke up, and when I looked over at Teresa and Jess, I couldn't help but wonder what I did to deserve them and the happiness they bring into my life – he almost laughs hysterically, crossing his arms, turning to face Grace, again not so serious any longer –you remember how I used to misbehave at work, right? I literally made Teresa's life a hell on earth! I mean, how many times did she get suspended or almost fired because of me? No, don't answer, it was a rhetorical question, and the answer is, I don't know because I've lost count! And she kept up with me, she married me, she gave me a child, and happiness! If I weren't myself, I'd never believe it; I'd think it's just the weirdest dream!"

"Patrick, please, you don't do this again, ok? – She sighs, exasperated, massaging her forehead, feeling a headache coming – the more you distance yourself from Teresa, the more she'll suffer, because you know how she always though she wasn't worth you... – Teresa Lisbon thinking she is not worth me… pretty hilarious… - Patrick, even if she never told me, I'm sure she fell for you the day you met, and… those long five years must have been terrible for her, being so close and yet distant to you, always thinking… being sure… you knew yet didn't care about her feelings, that the most she could aspire to was being second best to a killer! I can't understand how you could be surprised when she confessed you her feelings, how you couldn't understand why she decided to wait for Red John to be out of the picture…I still don't even understand because of what you did or what Red John did to her, when…"

"MUM!" As Kristie calls her mum from the car, shouting her name, she doesn't end the sentence, just nods, uncomfortable, and walks away, leaving Jane behind, both physically and emotionally.

Teresa Lisbon, this Teresa Lisbon, loves me, he thinks as he walks back indie the apartment, and this fact is something he was already aware of, but what it's new to him is another thing that could change his reality as well…

Lisbon has been in love with me almost from the beginning of our partnership, but was scared to admit it…no, even worse, she though I knew and I was using her to get to Red John, she though I didn't care, that I though she wasn't worth it… how can she thinks that? I've always been the one trying to stay as far as possible from her because I thought I could only damage her, emotionally and physically, because I thought I was too broken to deserve her love…

"Are you looking for something, Mr. Jane?"