Chapter 3: Liara T'Soni
Arcturus Station, 6 days after the destruction of the Normandy
Brother. The word had never held any significance for Liara before. But right now, it meant everything to her. It suddenly meant so much because for the first time in her life she had lost one.
She had always been intrigued by how other species interacted with two separate genders. The concept seemed so foreign to her, and yet so... so... she didn't even have a good way of describing it. It perplexed her that other species, and humans in particular for some reason that she couldn't fathom, seemed to need the other gender to be complete, to be whole. And not just physiologically, either; there seemed to be something happening on a deeper level that she and other mono-gendered asari, for all of their mental prowess, couldn't really understand.
She had been hard pressed initially to figure out exactly what she felt for Commander Shepard. Her rescue from Therum had been nothing short of exhilerating, and though as a scientist she had often found herself wishing for lengthier studies and fewer explosions during their many subsequent adventures, she couldn't deny that humanity's first spectre had an alluring flair for the dramatic.
Her infatuation with Commander Shepard initially put her on a collision course with Chief Williams, whose flirtations and amorous intentions towards the commander were thinly veiled at best, but the situation defused before it came close to getting out of hand because, of all things, the cipher. Sentient minds, she had unpleasantly discovered, were not nearly as structured as the inner workings of machinery; consequently, she had experienced a flood of emotions she had not expected when she joined her mind to Shepard's after Feros. She had felt his attraction for Ashley - and also his confusion - as keenly as if the emotion had been her own. She had tried to recover from her shock, but before she resumed her search for the cipher her curiosity had gotten the best of her. She had allowed herself to be on the lookout for anything that might indicate what he thought of her, and though she was successful, what she found startled her. It was an emotion that she had never experienced before. It was a fondness, concern, and devotion completely unlike anything she had every encountered or experienced before. But unlike the emotional bonds in Shepard's mind that connected him to Ashley, the emotions he felt for Liara had no intimate overtones. The realization that he viewed her in a loving but platonic way had been at once deflating and also a relief. Truth be told, Liara wasn't sure if she was ready for a committed relationship yet.
And now Commander Shepard, her brother, was missing. She refused to say "dead." She couldn't bring herself to believe that after everything he'd been through - surviving in the slums of Earth as an abandoned child suffering from the effects of eezo exposure, the ill-fated rescue mission on Akuze, the Theshaca Raids, Eden Prime and the fallout of being scarred by the Prothean beacon, Sovereign's attack... No. There was no conceivable way that he could have died in outer space from a surprise attack launched by... Who, exactly? Almost as troubling as the fact that Shepard was MIA and the Normandy was destroyed was the way that they had no idea who or what that ship was or where it was from, let alone how it had known they were there or how its weapons had burned right through the Normandy's defenses. We'll figure out that later. Right now we need to find Shepard and continue to search for a way to defeat the reapers. Unfortunately, the others weren't being particularly helpful right now. She had spent nearly an hour trying to convince Ashley, Garrus, and Tali to not give up hope, that they should go search for the commander.
"Shepard would come after any of us if our roles were reversed," she pleaded with them. "Chief Williams," she locked eyes with the younger woman, "you love him." She spoke plainly, not mincing her words. The others already knew how her loyalty to Shepard had ultimately trumped her loyalty to the Alliance, culminating the night before Ilos. "You love him," she repeated, "so much so that you were willing to risk everything you had ever fought for, for him. Even if I am wrong and Commander Shepard really is dead, we cannot just leave him out there. You once told me that 'Marines never leave their own behind.' I know that you believe that, so why-?"
"What about Lieutenant Alenko at Virmire?" Tali piped up. "I don't recall us going back there after the nuke went off."
Ashley's head snapped from Liara to Tali and back again, her face a mural of emotions ranging from sorrow and anguish to anger and helplessness. She opened her mouth to speak, before promptly shutting it and looking down at the ground in an effort to hide her tears. In spite of herself Liara felt bad for the lone Marine. Chief Williams is no condition to help right now anyway. Her spirit is broken, she is in mourning, she cannot see past her grief for her husband. No, wait, they were not married, he was her partner... boyfriend... lover? Goddess, human relationships are nearly as convoluted as Prothean hieroglyphs.
"Tali, surely you will help?" Shepard had done so much for all of them, but Tali especially owed him a great debt for helping her complete her pilgrimage.
The adolescent quarian was very quiet for a moment before finally speaking. "I... I admired Shepard more than any other captain I have ever met, even my father. But this whole thing is so... so hopeless." She shifted her weight uncomfortably. "There's not much reason for me to stay here, but there's even less reason for me to go on a wild chase across the galaxy on a quest even more impossible than finding the conduit. And my people need me. I will always remember Shepard, but there's nothing more I can do." Her voice was shaking. "I'm sorry."
"Garrus?" Liara was desperate but hopeful. He had been uncharacteristically quiet for the past several minutes. "Garrus, you know that Commander Shepard-"
"Don't you get it, Liara? It's over. He's gone." Garrus's voice was laced with bitterness. Ashley remained mute, either unable or unwilling to speak, and Tali sighed unhappily as if to agree.
They are probably right, but Shepard trusted me when no one else did. I cannot betray his trust, his friendship, his… his love for all of us. "No. Shepard never gave up on me. I will not give up on him. Not now. Not ever." She stood up, a resolute fire smoldering in her eyes and a crazy idea rapidly forming in her agile mind. "I am going to find my brother. And I think I know where to begin."