A/N: I want to apologise profusely for the insane length of time it has taken me to update this story. Computer issues have plagued me and then I've had various family events to attend including my grandparents diamond wedding anniversary celebrations which obviously take priority over fanfiction. After a bit of a block on the next few chapters, I'm slowly getting back into the swing of writing again. I was very relieved to learn last week that I actually passed my degree despite the fact I didn't study as hard as I should have done this year, so with that weighty worry out of my mind I'm free to think about this story again.

Thank you kindly to everyone who reviewed the last chapter – even if you were just nagging for me to update ;)

Replies

Aaron: Sorry for the unforeseen delays. I hope to be able to update more swiftly in future.

emerald.97: Thank you very much once again. I'm so glad you enjoyed the last chapter.

Orion1432: Thanks again. Yes Arthur is supportive but on the other hand his head is full false ideas so you'll have to see how things turn out.

Jacqs: I much prefer the Merlin and Arthur stuff too but I think it would be wrong to ignore what's happening in Camelot given that revenge against Uther was a part of the plan and that saving Camelot is the focus of Merlin and Arthur's quest. Having said that I'm still carrying on with Merlin and Arthur in this chapter when I really should have included some other stuff too.
Sorry if you got confused a bit by some of the stuff that happened in the last chapter. I'm afraid I can't answer your question fully without giving away my future ideas. Maybe this next chapter will clear up some of the things you were wondering about but just to clarify, the stone pendant was used to channel loads of 'raw magic' into Merlin like Heolstor stone has been used previously to channel power for spells . This amount of power would have killed him if he couldn't have used it and expelled it. It was this magic that Merlin 'controlled' (albeit very badly) in the last chapter. As to whether this experience will have had lasting consequences, I won't say at this stage.

I hope everyone enjoys the next chapter! It was very difficult to write and I'm still not happy with it. I don't know if it was harder because the interaction is more serious or just because I'm dying from hayfever at the moment but it's about bloody time I gave you guys something.

Chapter 23

Arthur marched purposefully across the open fields, heading with grim determination towards the tree-line which lay ahead. Beyond that he could make out the faint dark silhouette of Heolstor cliffs though the dwindling night. He couldn't remember passing through another wood the last time but it was many years ago. He supposed they had gone around as they had the swamp but time was of the essence and this was clearly the quickest route.

Every so often he would check on his servant who was draped across the back of the horse he was leading. This time Merlin had begun rambling incoherently – something about shadows.

"Calm down, Merlin. You're going to be fine."

Pulling back Merlin's eyelids he saw they were their usual colour. That was good. The first time he had tried this he'd received a flash of gold and a singed boot for his trouble. Every time he assessed Merlin's condition he seemed more normal at least – not that he really knew what he was looking for. He had noticed that the bizarre tingle beneath Merlin's skin was still present, although only barely and Arthur could almost dismiss it as his imagination.

What he couldn't dismiss though were his memories: Merlin burning, Merlin freezing, Merlin healing. The curse had brought him to the brink of death then back again. What had happened to him? What had Merlin become and why? Arthur quickly brushed aside the why, trying to rationalise the ways of magic made his head hurt and he already had enough to worry about.

Arthur examined the flesh on his hand again for the hundredth time. There was no pain, no blistering, no redness, nothing, and Merlin had done this. He had ordered the boy in desperation to get better and he had subconsciously complied... using magic. He had touched him and his wound had vanished too. But this was no time to ponder miracles and this was only half a blessing. Merlin was different now, Merlin was changed and he still needed help.

But what if there's nothing that can help him?

No, he would find the sorceress who did this to him and make her undo it.

Why would she do that?

He would damn well make her, that's why.

How?

Did it matter? He was going to fix this.

But what if you can't?

I will!

But what if you can't?

What if he couldn't? What would that mean for Merlin? If he woke up would he still have magic? What would Merlin do then? What would Merlin be then? The laws of Camelot were clear about this sort of thing, he would have to make a decision but this was Merlin and that made things hard.

He sighed sadly as he entered the wood. The vast tree trunks stood straight and tall, a dense array of rounded leaves forming a gapless ceiling high above him. In contrast to the woods they had travelled through the day they had left Camelot, the forest-floor was dusty and bare and there was no rustling of undergrowth to be made as Arthur and the horse plodded on through the lonely, dim surroundings. He realised his worries were mostly academic anyway. He was wandering to face three sorceresses who held Camelot at their mercy and who wanted him dead. He would do whatever it took to ensure Camelot and Merlin survived but he knew his chances of coming out of this alive were slim to none. He had said nothing of this to Merlin though, it did not do to dwell on such dark thoughts.

xxx

Later, and Merlin felt his head bouncing against something soft as he stirred feeling refreshed. He was aware that he was moving even though he was lying still in this awkward position. He tried to pull himself up and somehow in doing so, promptly fell off the horse with an ungainly thud.

He gazed up at the dark canopy of leaves above him which completely blotted out the sky and it was difficult to tell how long he'd been out. Was it still night? As he lay on the flat of his back he listened to the muffled footfalls of the horse as it was led back round towards him.

"Well it's about time." A blonde haired head floating upside down above him said in a jocular fashion. "Trust you to go to extreme lengths to steal the only means of transport."

"Yes, very funny. Give us a hand up."

Arthur shook his head, probably due to the fact that his servant was giving him orders, but he yanked him to his feet all the same. As he did so Merlin felt a wave come over him and he thought he might have another random outburst, but he managed to keep his magic restrained. The raw magic that the stone pendant had channelled into him had nearly all been expelled and what little remained had mingled with his own magic and was now as much a part of him as the power he had always possessed. Although it was back under his control, his magic was a torrent racing though him, as fresh and impulsive as it had been before he had arrived in Camelot and he'd begun to tame it with knowledge. He would have to be careful not to be too instinctive otherwise Arthur would... Merlin's eyes widened suddenly and he looked into the prince's. Arthur knew – well, he knew he had magic even if he didn't know the truth.

As he was pulled upright, Merlin caught Arthur frowning slightly as if something was missing but Merlin didn't enquire further. Other than that he looked surprisingly calm and his lack of hostility towards him was an encouraging sign at least.

"How are you feeling?" Arthur looked at him inquiringly.

"A lot better considering," Merlin said

"Better?"

"I'm not going to set myself on fire again in a hurry." Arthur snorted slightly.

"That's good to know," he said. "But are you still, you know...? Do you have magic?"

Merlin pondered this for a moment. This was his chance. This was his opportunity to cover everything up again. He could sweep it all under the rug as easily as the dirt on Arthur's floor; all he had to do was lie.

"Yes," he said truthfully.

"Okay," Arthur nodded.

"Okay? Is that all you've got to say. I have magic!" Merlin blurted out, astonished at Arthur's lack of reaction.

Arthur shrugged and continued walking again, leading the riderless horse. Merlin ran round in front of him, blocking his path.

"Mer-lin. What are you doing?"

"Arthur, we need to talk," said Merlin seriously

"Funny, I thought we were," said Arthur, eyebrows raised.

"I meant properly."

"You have magic inside you." It was a definite statement.

"Yes. That's true," Merlin confirmed.

"Fine," Arthur said dismissively. "So what else is there to talk about."

"Well I would have thought that would have been a pretty big concern right now."

Despite the fact that Merlin was the taller man, Arthur had an uncanny talent for looking down at him and did so now as his mouth twitched into a reassuring smile.

"Don't worry," he said, "We'll fix this."

Merlin sighed. Clearly Arthur was still convinced that his magic was the by-product of some kind of curse, but it wasn't. There was nothing wrong with him and he certainly didn't need curing. He was never going to be fixed and Arthur didn't get that.

"What if you can't?" said Merlin slowly.

"I promise you, we'll sort this out."

"But–"

"I don't want to hear it, Merlin."

"I think you have to," he insisted. "What if this is permanent? What if I were to stay magical?"

"It's not going to happen," Arthur vowed.

"Will you just face facts."

"No, I won't!"

"This isn't something that's just going to go away," Merlin said firmly but calmly.

"You can't know that!" Arthur snapped.

"I do. I just… do. This is who and what I am now and sometime soon you're going to have to decide how you're going to deal with that."

"Do you want me to execute you?"

"No, I…"

"Then shut up!"

Merlin's face fell and he knew he was forced to comply. They trudged along in silence though the dark wood, Arthur leading the way and Merlin right behind. The shadows on all sides of them seemed to stare at them as if the darkness was alive. Merlin supposed it was because he was feeling particularly self-conscious at the moment but couldn't shake a bad feeling about this place.

A little while ahead Arthur stopped suddenly and Merlin, lost in thought and worry bumped straight into his back. He took a reverse step as Arthur wheeled round.

"How can you be so calm about this?" Arthur asked. "Look at what she did to you," he shouted.

"I look the same to me. Honestly, I really am still the same clumsy, totally useless Merlin you've always known."

"Are you?" Arthur glowered at him up and down. "Because what you did, that wasn't you. You nearly died."

"I'm fine now."

"Exactly!" shouted Arthur exasperatedly, flailing his hands. "You're up and about like nothing ever happened."

"Eh."

"Doesn't that bother you?"

"Actually, I'm rather relieved."

"Relieved?"

"Well, I'm glad I'm not dead."

"I didn't mean... So am I," Arthur admitted and a small graced his lips. "Can you honestly say though, that you're not scared by all this? I wouldn't blame you if you were."

"I don't know," said Merlin. He had been terrified before when the foreign magic had overwhelmed him, but now he knew he had nothing to fear from the magic now; what remained was his own. What had him concerned was Arthur's reaction and even worse, his possible reaction if and when he found out the complete truth.

"Excuse me?"

"I don't know," Merlin reiterated. "Are you?"

"What? Me scared of you? Of course I'm scared of you, you're a disaster waiting to happen but sadly there's nothing new about that."

"That's not what I meant and you know it," he said with resolve. He knew Arthur too well. He hated expressing his feelings, expressing his 'weaknesses' and he was frequently berated for doing so, but when he did let loose, he erupted and it was seldom pretty. This time though, Merlin had to get past his defences to him. He needed to know what Arthur was really thinking.

"What do you want me to say?" Arthur exclaimed.

"The truth."

"That is the truth."

"Arthur."

"Mer-lin."

"Arthur."

"That's enough!" Arthur yelled. "The Merlin I know would never speak to me like this."

"Don't kid yourself. I'm the only person who'd dare speak to you like this." The hard prince's mask faltered and Merlin knew that Arthur knew that he was right.

"Well, you're way out of line."

"So what are you going to do, Sire? Put me in the stocks? Throw me in jail?" Merlin suggested

"As a matter of fact I–"

"That might be a little bit difficult in the middle of a forest." Merlin's blue eyes glinted as Arthur stopped, his finger poised mid-point. His gaze drifted between its tip and his infuriating servant as he decided on his next response.

"I'll leave you here," he threatened.

"Then I'll follow you," Merlin swiftly replied.

"I'll tie you to a tree," Arthur countered. His stern façade was slipping and he was sounding increasingly like a bickering child.

"You'll tie me to a tree in the middle of a strange forest miles from anywhere and just leave me here alone where anything could happen."

"Exactly," said Arthur, nodding.

"You wouldn't?"

"I would," he said keenly his eyebrows raised.

"No, you wouldn't," Merlin stated confidently. Arthur grimaced as his bluff fell away in tatters.

"No, I wouldn't," he admitted with reluctance.

Merlin was quite proud of himself. He knew that the average boot-licker would be cowering in a corner round about now – and if they couldn't find a convenient corner in the middle of a forest they would hastily construct one and then cower in it; it was all part of the job. Fortunately for the pair of them, he was no boot-licker and his two years of service meant Merlin knew exactly how to get Arthur to open up and that usually involved the risky business of pestering him no end. Unfortunately this ordinarily amusing activity had lost its usual appeal. He got no pleasure from it this time, in fact quite the reverse.

"So?" Merlin asked probingly.

Arthur flung his head back and paced for a moment in silence before a half-hearted laugh escaped his lips.

"Yes Merlin, alright, I admit it, I'm scared. Happy?" Arthur said, as if it was the hardest thing he'd ever been forced to utter.

Merlin lowered his eyes. "Of me?" he asked solemnly.

"I don't know." Arthur shook his head. "I honestly don't know." He thought for a second, forcing himself to look at Merlin. "No, not of you," he realised, "Just this. I wasn't expecting anything like this. Everything is different now, don't you see? How am I supposed to just sit back and accept that? How? I can't. There is a solution, I have to believe that – we both do.

"Have you actually considered what would happen if you stayed like this," Arthur continued. "Magic is dangerous and let's face it you're bad enough with just a sword. I'm concerned about you, Merlin, and I'm concerned about your unbelievable attitude. Aside from the fact that you'd probably end up turning yourself into a frog in the very near future, have you thought what would happen to you if you were caught?"

"More so than you know," Merlin replied ."But I don't have any choice. I can't change this."

"That wouldn't make any difference to my father if you returned to Camelot. One slip and your head would be straight on the executioners block or worse, you'd be burned alive. Surely once was enough? How can you expect me to sit back and watch that? I couldn't, but what else am I supposed to do? Magic is banned absolutely in Camelot and I'm the prince, I can't break the law."

"I wouldn't ask you to protect me."

"I wouldn't have any other choice," Arthur said.

"Really?"

"You're a risk, but you don't deserve to be punished. I'm not going to have you arrested for being attacked, so I guess I'd just have to keep an eye on you. I can't have you destroying Camelot while my back's turned."

A cold shiver ran down Merlin's spine as he remembered what Mildryd had said about him. Of course Arthur didn't know this. His unease must have been glaringly obvious though, as it didn't go unnoticed.

"I was joking,"Arthur assured him. "I know you, Merlin. You're not evil and no amount of magic is going to change that."

"I hope you're right," Merlin muttered.

"I'm always right."

No Arthur, you're not, thought Merlin as the lies that cemented their friendship sniggered back. But what could he say? Whatever Arthur may think he wasn't going to be cured; there was nothing wrong with him, in fact he felt better than ever and sooner or later Arthur would have to live with the fact that he had magic.

Merlin had to admit he could never have foreseen it happening like this. Arthur was struggling uncertainly in the face of reality and that was obvious, but beneath all that was a glimmer of understanding. This probably had something to do with the fact that actually, he didn't understand a thing. He was angry, yes, but not with him. He wasn't feeling betrayed and he should have been. This entire situation was surreal yet slightly perfect; his magic was out in the open and Arthur was being tolerant. Maybe in time Arthur would even accept him if he 'learnt' to control his magic and use it on command.

It would be so easy play into the falsehood to avoid the hurt the truth would undoubtedly cause and Merlin was tempted. He might long for the day when Arthur would accept him for who he really was, but the act of telling him – an act he had played out so many times in his head with varying degrees of success – was still a frightening prospect. This new option he'd been handed danced enticingly in front of him. True, it wouldn't change the fact that he couldn't talk about any of the things he had already done but what was new about that? It certainly offered more freedom than he had at the moment.

What would Gaius tell him to do? If Gaius was here he would probably whip up a useless potion to 'remove the curse' and it would be back to the same old routine, the same old lies.

Oh, who was he trying to kid. Freedom? The idea was laughable. Merlin wasn't just a servant he was a slave, not to Arthur but to the web of deception and deceit that he weaved every day. How could he entertain the notion that more lies would ease his entrapment. Sooner or later the truth would out and the more he tried to cover things up the worse the outcome would be. There was no hiding any longer; he had magic and Arthur knew that. The only thing left was to tell him that this had always been the case.

If he could only wait for the perfect moment things might be simpler, but Merlin knew that perfect moments didn't really exist. He'd waited long enough for one to have figured that out. How much longer could he put off the inevitable? This was not going to be easy.

"Arthur," he began. "There's something really important I need to say to you."

"What is it?"

The atmosphere around them was eerily calm and the movement of the trees was silent. Around them the shadows encroached nearer and nearer. The bad feeling Merlin had been experiencing grew worse. He tried not to let it distract him.

"Arthur I'm..."

"Yes?"

"I'm..." He was sure that he could see more clearly than this before.

"Merlin are you feeling alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine, but I need to tell you..." He squinted to make out Arthur's face.

"What's wrong? It's magic isn't it?" Arthur persisted. Merlin knew it was no use. Any confessions would have to wait.

"I don't know, but it's not me."

"Are you sure?"

"Does it seem darker to you?" Merlin asked. Arthur looked around. Only the nearest sturdy trunks were visible in the gloom.

"A little, yes."

"I think we should leave," said Merlin.

"For once, you might have a point," Arthur agreed.

They turned around slowly, both scanning around them for signs of trouble, but as they stood temporarily back to back their eyes were useless and their ears picked up nothing.

Merlin turned back to face Arthur again but was met only by pitch blackness.

"Arthur?"

"Merlin?"

"Arthur, where are you?"

"I'm here."

"Where? Ooof!"Merlin walked into something soft but firm. "Arthur?" Arthur whinnied.

"I think that's the horse, Merlin."

"Sorry." Merlin blundered through the darkness trying to find the source of Arthur's dry remarks.

"Where the hell have you gone to, you were only next to me?"

"I'm not sure." There was the sound of a large exasperated exhale of breath.

"Follow my voice."

"What do you think I'm trying to do?" Merlin cried out as he walked into a tree.

"Arthur!" he called again. No reply.

"Arthur!"

More silence.

"Arthur?"

He was alone.