Break Down

Sasuke's POV

Hearing his accusing tone, Sasuke pushed softly but confidently the kunai lightly a bit deeper into Naruto's skin. It was easy to think of him as a coward when he was the one that had given up on Konoha and all, but of coruse Naruto was always too busy playing it a hero to ever understand how hurt deep down Sasuke was.

That all that was leading his steps deeper into the path of revenge was his irreversibly scarred and hurt soul.

Sasuke's furry only grew bigger with Naruto's admittance of his own defeat someway. So, it wasnt just his idea, the blonde had lost indeed a part of himself that made him who he was.
Sasuke didnt know why but he felt an intense urge to quit any fight and come back only when Naruto would be himself again, to fight him on equal terms.

The man he was facing now was nothing more than en empty shell of the person he used to know.
Even when he mentioned Konoha, the hokage didnt seem to struggle, not in the point Sasuke wanted him to.
Sasuke sighed dissapointed, onyx eyes watering due to something as desperation creeping up on his tormented soul. The blonde was making it harder than any situation Sasuke once could hope to fear.

He expected a hating Naruto to face him off, to strike weapons with him, exchange powerful jutsu and genjutsu, harsh words, call him traitor, accuse him of things he did and he never cared for doing them.

Yet it felt as the hokage was holding back of something his chest was craving to let out, but Sasuke wasn't sure if he could deal hearing it, if it was anything else than accusations and harsh words, he didn't know if he could keep a straight face and a steady hand once the words would reach his ears.

Because all these weeks he had been preparing for an angry Naruto, even hoping that the blonde had started hating on him. But instead, he had come to found an already defeated resemblance of whom he thought he knew. What was he doing there again?

''You will what?...''he asked, his voice partially amused to Naruto's half effort to do something decent that day.

He wasn't amused, though, only trying hard to draw down his disappointment and bitterness.
He let go of Naruto's wrists, giving him plenty of freedom to move around.

He let the kunai drop down to the ground in front of Naruto's left foot.
But he still didnt move completely away, not because he planned to attack the blonde again or restrain him once more anytime soon but mostly cause he didn't want Naruto to look at him straight in the eyes when he'd say the words he was going to.

Leaning closer once more, momentarily shaking slightly once the bodies came in contact again, he burried lighty his face into Naruto's blonde hair to his sides and he took in his essence.

He didnt know why he liked smelling and touching the blonde so much. It was just an instant pleasure he had found out by chance and he didnt dare question more of it. In battle you often had to come in physical contact with your opponent and enemy, why couldn't this be considered normal out of battle too?

Either way, he was way too used to coming in such contact with his surroundings-even if most of it happened during battle-that his mind didn't read further into his actions, that deep down were something he could never bring himself to admit-unless he died from embarrassment or hurt pride first.

Unburying half of his face out of Naruto's hair, so as he could speak, Sasuke muttered huskily, his hands hanging freely to his sides, but not without being ready to defend their owner if something went wrong:

''So I am the coward when you are the one that refuses to fight for his and many other's life? Naruto, I don't expect you to look up at me, either, but I never thought I'd be as disappointed in you.' 'he said and it was the longest he had talked ever since the two men met at the top of the hills.

His own heart tightened while he spoke out those words. They weren't meant to hurt Naruto or even push him further into reacting. It was just his honest thoughts and people knew Sasuke didn't hold back at saying what he really thought of someone, no matter who they were.

Sasuke wasn't a coward, maybe at feelings he was because he always denied or ran away from love and care. But it wasn't like he was afraid of anyone in battle or out of it. He simply was far too selfish to care for people's feelings and so he always followed his way, indifferent and frozen to anyone he might leave behind or hurt with his mannerism.
Feeling unexplainably hurt when Naruto asked why he cared, his mind drifted off to anything else he could say rather than answer this. He was too close for relief, too close to lie without the blonde guy picking up on his fastened hear beat, too close to not give in.

''I wish you could hate me...'' he whispered in such a low tone, surprised in himself that he had let out such words. It seemed that the meeting had affected him ina bigger scale than he was afraid of and now he had started losing slightly control of his own mouth.

This wasnt good. Not sure, whether Naruto had heard him or not, since he wasn't sure if he had heard it himself, either, being said in such a low absent minded tone, Sasuke pulled away from Naruto slowly but coldly.

He looked at the blonde's back, his heart racing in pain. He didn't know why he cared but he felt as he had lost his old friend, as if the real Naruto he knew had indeed died, as if that person standing in front of him wasn't the orange haired idiot he had come to care for once in the past.

But now, no, he didn't know why he cared whether Naruto had remained the person he had liked or not. And this was hurting him even more. He thought he had cut off their bonds once and for all when he had taken that road leading out of Konoha and to his revenge path.
Could he have lived in an illusion long ago? Could he have mistaken so badly when he questioned his cold heart. Could his feelings still exist in him, but just sleeping, hidden from his strict logic?

His frustration growing bigger, he pinched the arch of his nose-an old habit of his that Naruto was familiar with- and looked down, his eyes two unreadable black pools.
He didn't know if Naruto had turned to face him anymore or not, he was busy enough with his inner struggle so on purpose he chose not to focus on the dobe's figure or movements right now.

He didn't really know if he was afraid to die. And he wouldn't mind if somehow the dobe killed him and put him out of the difficult position the raven haired guy was in-to kill the hokage in order to fulfil his revenge.

''...because I hate you.'' Sasuke said, as if resuming the phrase he had let out s absent mindly a little while ago.
This time he had said it louder, on purpose, urged by his own inner battle.

Because I care for you...

His cheeks were slightly colored with red, in that torturing to him thought.
Otherwise, his face had remained emotionless, still not daring to focus back on Naruto.
How could he get out of this? Things had taken so much the wrong way that he was starting to fear he wasnt going to end what he had come there for. What he had started.
And then an idea passed from his head: he knew what would motivate Naruto enough.
Sasuke ever the calculative one knew how to dig into people's feelings and take advantage of them when he needed to-not that he couldn't care less for them otherwise.

If Naruto didn't feel like fighting Sasuke, the raven haired ninja knew that he couldn't let him walk away just like that, either.

''If Naruto Uzumaki is already dead, then my job here is done...''he said after long moments of pregnant silence.

His voice had sounded sure and definite, even if he had no idea how he could pull this out successfully.
He only had to hope he had measured Naruto's personality and feelings well so far.

Knowing Naruto, he would try his best to keep him to Konoha, as he always tried to do that period that he was chasing him after to bring him back.
It would be a big pain to the blonde if he let the raven leave now, now that he was technically inside the place he wanted him to be in.

After all these years of failed chasing, he finally had his target is sight and he was about to lose him again. That was something Naruto would have to fight for, if not for himself, if not for his own village.

Sasuke turned around silent and started walking away slowly, not bothering where his steps really lead him to, secretly hoping for a defiant reaction, an act of Naruto to stop him.

He hoped that with this the blonde hokage ninja would come to realize that his only way to keep Sasuke there was to fight him.
And even though this would make it easier for him, he somehow sensed that it would also make it harder for Naruto in the same time.

But being the careless b*****d he always was, he brushed it off as something meaningless.

Naruto's POV

Destroy me, he thinks. At the moment he wouldn't mind too much. Because his veins are screaming screaming screaming. It's a harsh nag that floats from their throats, urging him; ''it's all a mistake. Fix this!'' But then the noise will become more persistent, and a lot louder, a sound that grounds so harshly against his eardrums that a sharp ring resounded. It blinds him to the agony that followed. The depth of the kunai did not phase him, nor the fact that poison could flow into his bloodstream at any second bother him. All he could concentrate on was the sky, and how endless it seemed. Sasuke murmured things. Diluted his attention. But it never strayed.

Was Sasuke going to remind him every second that this was his fault? That he'd given in to so many things. Ruined a chance at saving him. But it was through pure loyalty. He hadn't purposely chose to think Oh, I'm going to ruin my life and throw it all away for him. No. Sasuke had been clueless all of these years, so who knew when he'd finally get it.

''I'll... have you hunted.'' Naruto wasn't going to let himself get worked up like Sasuke was but he still felt an agonizing amount of frustration building. Sasuke had it easy. Ever since that first day, everything had come naturally. Girls, jutsu, missions. Naruto was still daydreaming about s**t he couldn't accomplish. He wanted to bring Sasuke home and wake up with him there every morning and share ramen with him at 2 am and fuss over him when he was sick. It was what best friends did. What they were suppose to do. But he couldn't. That was someone else's job. Besides, didn't Sasuke realize how humiliating this was? ''I - i... will, Teme!'' Naruto jerked when his wrists were suddenly set loose, immediately rubbing one hand over the reddened skin as he turned to look at his counterpart. It struck him for a moment, how much nostalgia Sasuke brought on. Especially of the old days.

He recalled when they use to argue over silly things, and train for hours on end. They each had strived toward equal goals, and were unmatched by others. He found that not much had changed since then, except now, Sasuke didn't want to have equal goals. He wanted to declare how much better he was than Naruto. Not that it'd been a secret in the first place, but still.

Ting - ting.

The kunai dropped between them, clattering on the rocky floor just as the mask had earlier. It was in such a manner that reflected a dejected and uncertain way that left the blond totally speechless. He noticed how the weapon was within reach, just short of his left foot. However, he made no move to grab it. No, no. He was mister i-accept-death remember?

''Sas...ke.'' Acknowledging the male's movement, Naruto blinked as he seemed to tremble at the contact with his body. Had he been shaking earlier? Naruto couldn't recall. It was strange really, to be on the recieving end of such a caring notion. God Sasuke, he thinks in his head. What are you doing? He sucks in a breath and bites on his cheek.

He's so close.. It's almost painful. Naruto stiffens but can't resist raising a hand to Sasuke's figure, an arm wrapping around his neck, tugging him closer. He doesn't know what's going on, but it feels so right, and Naruto doesn't ever want the Uchiha to move away. Their bodies mold together for several minutes, a single moment of union that leaves Naruto questioning reality.

His hand begins to slack when he feels Sasuke shift away, the throaty voice sending shivers up his spine. A frown crawled it's way across those lips of his, ready for what was coming. His arm retracted as soon as he had finished, lowering to his pocket. He wanted to punch Sasuke. But couldn't. He wanted to shout at him. But wouldn't.

Naruto simply stood there, cursing his idiocracy for giving in to this a second time. Those words held no room for doubt, it was all truth. A fact. They were cold and fresh and left invisible wounds upon his mangled heart. And in the end, he can't help it. He trembles, twirling away from the other.

The point of those words had been to hurt him. Well surprise. It worked. The Hokage blinked several times, the wind whistling more brutally as time wore on. How was he suppose to respond to that anyway? He sniffs, letting his head drop. He wants to go home. Get as far away from these words as possible.

The last rags of his dignity are slowly disintegrating. ''I wish you could hate me...''

That makes two of us, bud. But he's lost all sense of pride, and stares shamefully at his feet. Arguments were once his specialty. Being Hokage, he was happy to admit such a fact. And if it wasn't for this dark cloud hanging over his head, he'd still be a normal person. Being here.. dealing with this, it was wrong. And if there was one thing he strived for, it was perfection.

This most certainly wasn't helping. The sooner this ended, the better. The logical side of him was striking out, trying to follow the flow of those words like he didn't care. Sasuke hadn't attacked him physically, so from this ideal, he almost debates hoping again.

''...cause I hate you.''

And all at once, his heart shatters.

The pain from that sentence creeps up on him like a fog. He hopes that when it lifts, he's not going to be broken into tiny pieces on the ground. Sasuke's words have left him even more defeated than before, his shoulders slumped, the hair on his neck standing on edge. The last five minutes are on playback in his mind, mocking him with darker tones than the Uchiha had conjured.

''Of course you do.'' he whispers finally. It's unintelligible to most, and Naruto doubts he'd heard. His chest is on fire from the hurt, and his head is spinning real bad. However confused he was, the message is still clear. He'd just been a toy. Falling into line whenever Sasuke felt like playing. For so many years! Except Sasuke was grown up. Ready to get rid of him.

Naruto sighed as the assassin pried away, albeit he didn't make a move to stop him. The silence that followed was unbearable. They stood there, totally frozen. Naruto was starting to let the words sink in to his flesh, creating a visible tarnish upon his expression.

And for a while, nothing makes sense.

When Sasuke says his job is done, he hasn't the slightest clue. He's still standing there, letting his friend get away. When it finally hits him, the blond is almost in shock. His eyes grow wide and his body turns around on instinct, kicking up a bit of dust.

I'll never see him again. The thought scares him, but what's more... something inside of him reaches inside and burns, digging for anger.

He can feel all his muscles uncurl as he rushes forward, the swell of his breath coming in slow and steady because in his head, this is the answer they need. The one that Sasuke wants.

''b*****d!''

He flings himself onto the other's back, using the brunt force of his weight to topple them over, and twist Sasuke over to face him. A growl makes it's way past his lips, unsteady and brash. It doesn't matter what he says anymore. He doesn't think the other would even care what he had to share. This was all so pointless.

But he realizes he can't concentrate on his newfound fury and think at the same time. So, while taking pleasure in the fact he was now restraining his opposer, he let loose his hardest glare, and snapped out

''Is this what you want?''

He feels like a nervous teenager again. And he loathes that feeling. If anything, he wants it to go away. Because if Sasuke wants to ******** with his head like this then leave again, he's got another thing coming. It isn't until he sees Sasuke's face, that blank, heartless expression that drives him wild, that he feels something inside him foster the fire. It'll all be better soon, it whispers. Just fight him. Rip him up a bit, for all the pain he's caused you. Or, a lot worse.

''You want me to hate you?'' He says.

His eyes roam downward to where the mark would be on the Uchiha's neck, and the words repeat themselves in his head. No going back, the monster inside him urges. Just hurt him. He can't make himself say everything's okay anymore. That he can patch up another mess or imperfection. Things are permanently damaged here, leaving each the frayed ends of string. ''Don't ask me twice.'' The tone lowers, into a sound that's almost beast - like. Every second of this is tearing at Naruto's soul, battering with his sanity. Sasuke doesn't look pleased, but it's through proper weight displacement that he manages to keep the other pinned down. Legs locked over others, hands grasped wrists, and Naruto sneered.

''Make sure this is what you ******** want!'' he snarls.

There were at least a hundred choices he could make in this situation; the worst ones being following this path or flat out running away. But he knew either one would make Sasuke happy, content.. especially with the idea of hunting him down. That is, unless, he magically starts caring about him. Naruto's pretty sure that won't ever happen, but he's too tired to even care anymore. He just wants this to be over. With or without him living through it.

That burning dig has started to spread, and is slowly numbing out his chest, quickening his heartbeat as the male gets even closer. He couldn't help admiring Sasuke the closer he gets, a knee - jerk reaction he passes off as another tie to the past. He was becoming more upset as time went on, thinking about how much time he had wasted holding out for Sasuke. Because everything, was always about friggin' Sasuke.

''I'll never forgive you!'' the words are cold.

This doesn't phase him. All other emotions are shoved outside his head, giving him the ability to do the one thing Sasuke wants from him - to fight. This was bordering on nightmare for him, but he kept quiet. It helped when that voice whispered more words of reassurance to him, coaxing that Sasuke had it coming.. and that he deserved everything he might get.

''Say it!'' Sasuke just had to unlock this madness, Naruto resigned. And then all hell would break loose.

''What're you waiting for?!''

R&R?

Come on people, I know you are reading this! So, please, leave a comment!

Naruto: You heard her, dattebayo!

Sakura: *bonks Naruto on the head*

Naruto: Hey! This story is about me and the teme! Where did Sakura come from?

Me: Meh, I decided to bring her in the AUs, since she is the only one that can silence you effectively.

Sakura: Got any problem with that, Narutoo?

Naruto:* looks at her terrified* O-of course, not, Sakura-chan!

Naruto: *whispers* ''Sasuke, save me!''

Sasuke: Sakura, you are weak.

Sakura: *runs away crying*

Naruto: Sasuke, you're awesome, man!

Sasuke: *smirks* Heh, it's all it ever takes for me.

Me: *glares at Sasuke* W.t.f, you hurt her , you idiot! And you Naruto, aren't you supposed to have a crush on her?

Naruto: Not in this story! *sticks tongue out to me*

Sasuke: I hurt her? You're the one who's writing me.

Me: But you hurt her in the show too! Hypocrite!

Sasuke: Well, …blame it on Kishi. *shrugs*

Me: Whatever.

Naruto: Cheer up, you two. We got out next chapter. :D

Sasuke: I knew it…

Me: What are you talking about?

Sasuke: I knew that it was all a trick to make me feel threatened. You did find the chaps, afterall.

Me: No, I had really los…Hey! I am not supposed to be explaining myself to you! I have other things to do right now!

Sasuke: Like?

Naruto: Rasengan!!!

Sasuke:…

Me:…

Naruto: What?

Me: Nevermind. -.-

Well, like getting ready for a party…

Sasuke: Since when did you start being social?

Me: Since we need to cut it shortly cause our chit chat threatens to become longer than the actual chapter!

Naruto: Don't you find it funny how Sasuke-teme talks more than me in the AUs. I do!

Sasuke: Shud up, dobe.

Until Next Time!