Sasuke's POV
His tears fall like burning bliss and curse in the same time on his pale tired skin.
Was it his thought or had Naruto just said the meanest things the blonde could really patch for his rival? He always remembered how Naruto would offend, insult, or tease him but nothing sounded so serious and so real in the same time.
The thought alone made him cringe. He felt his tears wetting his neck, he felt Naruto's fingers gripping his own in response, as if Naruto was looking for something to hold on to, and somehow this made him feel less lonely in this. Less exposed.
The question had found the raven haired out of guard, even if he should expect it, being known as a careless ice berg around.
Do you ever care for anyone besides yourself?
Yes, he does. He doesn't have many answers with him, he only came with a blade and his killing ambition, but other than that, nothing.
And perhaps that was his biggest mistake. Being there without feeling ready to actually face his past friend off.
For a minute he hated himself, the minute Naruto rolled over, his hand still in his. He felt like an idiot, as if Naruto had seen inside his heart and decided to pay him back for all the pain but rejecting him with his turn.
And in that moment, he couldn't help the violent shaking of his chest at the thought of being caught a fool in his own game.
I wish I'd never met you.
The words repeat themselves in his head, sending shivers down his spines.
What is worst, he knows he deserves all this. And yet somehow, he also knows that Naruto has already regretted saying them.
And then comes the admittance, he so surely but bitterly expected.
I can't hate you.
Sasuke turns to look at Naruto, regret and pain in his bright cerulean eyes.
The blonde seemed as if he had been trying to reach for the raven, but he hold back himself on the last minute.
Sasuke notices this and his eyes for a moment become slightly wilder.
Oh how he wanted to feel his skin again on his. It was as if his whole body was in pain and wherver the blonde made contact with him, he felt the pain going away momentarily.
He shifts his look at his hand, Naruto's hand isnt there anymore...Can he do anything to get it back?
But what is he thinking? Has he given up already?
His thoughts are cut abruptly when he hears Naruto's apology.
Is he really apologizing to him when he is the one that should kneel in front of the blonde haired man and ask for his forgiveness? Now his eyes become two black wide pools looking at the cerulean one's in disbelief. He looks at him as if he is crazy.
And his thoughts become more confused, his chest struggles more with un even breaths, his heart races even faster with emotion, when he hears the next to come words out of the hokage's mouth.
He is warning him? What is this? He came here for his life and the dobe is still trying to save him? Protect him?
Oh, Naruto, always foolish like that. Always, devoted to me. But I think this is what drags me to you.
The thought is too much to bear, the blonde is making it very hard for Sasuke to finish what he came for.
How can he just accept to kill him, or even fight him after everything he had told him? If he was sure he could do it before, now he isnt.
Watching the guy standing up silent, he realizes that more tears are now decorating his pale complex. He watches for some instances his past friend, wondering why it is so hard to control his feelings. It wasnt like the guy in front of him wasnt anyone, either.
It was Naruto, his friend.
He stands up slowly, imitating the hokage. Now it is his turn to say some things Naruto wouldnt expect.
And even if his logic is screaming at him and bashing him, it is too late anymore to restrict that emotional explosion that has spit up inside his chest and is blurring his judgement.
His eyes never leaving Naruto's, he walks slowly close to him, till he has closed any hostile distance that was keeping him away from the person his heart and mind were aching for.
He knows he cant let him keep him there, but he also knows that he cant kill the blonde idiot anymore.
And he has to patch it up all in one phrase, that is coming out of the depths of his heart, those frozen depths no one could ever imagine they could nest such warm emotions.
Chest touching with chest, Sasuke leans his head closer to the blonde locks, placing his chin on Naruto's left shoulder, almost as if he is searching for comfort.
His hot breath is now haunting the blonde's neck, his chest is racing intensely against his, he wants to wrap his arms around him and close his eyes, but that'd be too much. And Naruto had every reason to push him away.
His mind is screaming, trying to prevent his lips of forming the words to come, but Sasuke doesnt care anymore. All he cares for is to let it out, for once. If he was to die today, or if Naruto was to become a memory and only, he wanted to have the chance to tell him how he felt for him.
He never got the chance to say what he felt to his family, to Itachi, to all his dear people that had died now and left him alone in a miserable world where no one understood him.
All but one...Naruto, who was still a dear person to him, as he was back then at the forest of death or even more. He was something more than dear...
He nests his face on Naruto's side, burrying it half way on his soft hair, his chin never parting from the dobe's trembling shoulder.
He wants to get it out, but he cant. His lips part partially, more tears fall, his headache becomes bigger and he knows he has to get it out but it is hard. He raises one hand and grips on Naruto's shirt tightly, wishing the blonde could get with actions what he has trouble saying with words.
He grips on the tissue harder, the harder he tries to restrain his remaining tears back.
He leans his head closer as in surrender to his feelings motion, and his lips land on the blonde's earlobe, but not on purpose.
''Damn you, Naruto. There is one person I still care for: You. And I hate you for this. I cant help it but...I care for you...''he repeats the last words as if a broken tape, his mind has given up on him and his heart has taken over anymore.
He feels a lot better now that he let it out, but he still feels weak, he still needs Naruto...who knows for how far longer ?
He hates how he cant just feel nothing for the dobe, he hates himself cause after everything he has been through he still insists on letting himself form ties with people...If he ever lost Naruto after that, and even before that, he knew he would suffer again.
And even if Naruto didnt do it on purpose, he felt threatened from the dobe, out of the strong emotional power he held over him.
He is shaking now lightly, and a last effort to suppress himself only makes it worse. His hand gripping on the blonde's shirt, becomes an open palm that strokes softly the area for a while, and then becomes a fist again, closing the tissue inside his fingers, as he burries his face into Naruto's neck.
His tears become one with Naruto's skin. He can feel the salty liquid rolling down between the blonde's neck and his lips that are attached to it.
He can feel his chest going up and down, heavily, as if trying to measure his violent emotions down.
Naruto,... please,... dont leave me.
Naruto's POV
The silence stretched on.
And yet, that didn't bother him. Not so much as the fact that he could hear Sasuke sniffling. Or, that he didn't know what he could do to fix it. To the boy, it was worse than being stabbed with a poisoned kunai. Because at least then, he would have been able to label a decent reason for the pain.
But with Sasuke... he couldn't. Everything was just too messed up. The blond groaned, trying to keep himself from running straight into those arms. He didn't want to have the Uchiha upset. In fact, he'd give anything to make it stop. To take it back in on himself.
Cus' like it or not, Naruto was at fault for this. For everything.
''I'm sorry,'' he repeats again. The words are quiet, defeated. Sasuke was his life and everything else came in second. And with each tear, every bit of his exposed heart was tearing at the seams. What can he do? How can he help? He's not strong enough to handle it and he's most certainly not up for it to go on much longer. Blue eyes lock with black again, drowning in the sorrow he saw there. Naruto attempted to read the expression on Sasuke's face; it failed and succeeded at the same time. The person standing in front of him looked like he had just been run over and then stabbed several times. This wasn't what Naruto wanted. Of course he didn't.
The last thing he ever wanted to do was make Sasuke as miserable as him. Naruto knew what he had to do. Because standing here, not even attempting to frown for the sake of acting, was a pile of shattered glass and Naruto was the one who pitched the ball. What had happened between the two of them just needed to stop. No longer for his sake, but for Sasuke's too.
For a moment, he just looked at his other. Night and day. That's what they were. Total opposites. It never would have worked anyway. Naruto curses his feeble heart, yet stands pointedly with his chest grazing Sasuke's. Their bodies fit neatly together, mending each portion of their broken hearts.
''Look, I...'' He doesn't believe in god but he pray's he's doing the right thing. He tries to ignore the sound, how Sasuke's pain is choking him through the core of his soul and his mind calculates the retract necessary to keep his other safe.
He'll contemplate this ******** mess he created and believe his feat would be easier than it really is and maybe one day... if he's lucky enough, Sasuke will be there to hold him as he screams.
But he still can't walk away.
The blond goes numb, centering around Sasuke's breathing. It's so wretched and burdened, Naruto tilts his head into the crook of his neck. And all at once small fingers wrap round him again, in a full on embrace. Naruto sniffs, pulling Sasuke as close as he can get him.
You'll never stay with me, he thinks.
He takes in Sasuke's being, his everything. And for the first time in a long while, a genuine smile curves it's way into his lips. He couldn't have needed anything else in this life. Just... now.
''Damn you, Naruto. There is one person I still care for: You. And I hate you for this. I cant help it but...I care for you...''
He can't breathe. His heart is pounding in his ears, deafening him to the world. Naruto grows still, hands tightening around Sasuke's form. Tears of his own are springing into action, though he barely manages to keep them at bay.
They had changed so much over the years. How were they suppose to move on? Everything was different. He couldn't just forget this. They both knew the truth now. Sasuke didn't hate him. It'd been a lie. A stab made at his weakest point - tricking him into giving up.
Naruto's lips graced the side of Sasuke's head, whispering indistinct words. In trade, it was his own sign of forgiveness. Not that Sasuke needed a sign. It was almost known to everyone that Naruto gave all.
''... Sasuke, I'm not enough.'' It was a hard thing to say, but he knew it was true. His mind soared at the admittance. But Sasuke caring about him wasn't going to be a long-lasting thing. One day, he would grow bored of the blond. Just like everyone else. And then they'd be right back here. Naruto didn't want that. No. He wanted—
Forever.
Forever was a very powerful word. Because to him, it really meant forever. Some people assumed it just meant until the end of their lifespan but it meant even more than that. Forever was after mid-life crisis, after sickness, after old age, and after death—whatever happened to be after that. And it went on even after whatever was after death—after heaven or rebirth. Forever was...forever.
And for Naruto to want forever, well, that was something that amazed him and scared him all at once. Sakura had mentioned being together forever once, albeit she had meant it as friends. She wanted to have someone dependable to fall back on, who was moderatly wealthy, to joke with while raising a couple kids, and grow old together—forever. Naruto hadn't thought twice about it.
Sure, he had been a little nervous when he saw her dating other guys, and he had figured she already had a few alterations made to her plan. Forever sounded nice and quaint for the two of them. A tidy ending for what he couldn't have. But now forever wasn't so sweet anymore. It wasn't that simple.
''I can't keep losing you.'' Naruto said quietly.
It was then that two hands went up around Sasuke's neck and he tilted his head up slightly so that his lips would brush against the other's ear. A much more intimate gesture than the last. In a sense, it was the same as before—the same type of feeling that came over Naruto. He did not fight back, nor did it take him by surprise.
The blond breathed with relief, his heart grattifying this result. A tiny voice, however, didn't feel so complying. It swore and stomped and screamed. Told him he was an idiot for doing this, that he would be better off killing Sasuke and everyone in his way.
Naruto swallowed thickly, his hands trembling as it became a little louder. He tried to block it out, and after several moments of just taking in Sasuke's strength, things became quiet again.
''Please. Stay with me.''
R&R please?