Disclaimer: All characters belong to Square Enix and Tetsuya Nomura.
AN: Zack's ringtone for this chapter is the song "Its Okay 2b Gay" by Tomboy, I just thought it suited him because I'm taking Zack OOC and it just ties into what happens to Cloud later on in this chapter.
Once again, thank you ALL for your Reviews/Story Alerts for this fanfic, its kind of almost what is keeping me going with this fanfic to write it up.
Chapter 5
Phones have been a modern technological advancement that has allowed one person to talk to another person from miles away. It allows people to connect in a way that they couldn't do hadn't it been for the wires and chords of phones. And phone lines. There are many things that the phone allows, but it also allows each caller to hide their emotions. When a person blushes, gushes, or starts to become a blithering fool; there is no way for the other person to see what a fool the other half becomes. Its like the individual receptors in the brain connected to those reactions are connected to the phone itself. More or less, the one on the other end of the line.
For men, it tends to make them into a cartoonish wolf whistling at the scantly dressed Little Red Riding Hood up on stage. For women, it makes them into star struck dreamers; swooning at the dreamy hunk in the Produce Aisle.
Cloud had seen it all.
He had seen it from the side lines when Zack had fallen for Angeal; he was the starry eyed, dreamer. His train of thought had been focued on covering his tracks, especially the age difference between the two men.
Especially since the crush was a guy.
Zack had always from the end of being the one to be the crush of some shy, timid, quiet girl, but now, he was on the other side of that playing field looking in the way those girls saw him and how they reacted, but how and why was he acting this way? There was no way he could be…well…like Zack. He knew that Zack was a different banana long before he knew it himself.
Especially when they were in Junior High.
Everyone had to wear the same colors and the same uniform; Zack took to "accessorizing" the uniform. Which in turn, turned him into the talk of the school for a while; while Cloud was stuck with the perception of people trying to put him on the same page. Which he didn't want or need.
Even at this moment, he was trying to keep that out of his thoughts.
And failing. Horribly.
"Not gay, not gay, not gay, not gay, not gay…"Cloud began to beat his forehead against the steering wheel as he sat in his car outside his apartment, "Not Gay, Not Gay, Not Gay, NOT GAY, NOT GAY!"
Its been said, you can say something over and over. In hopes that it won't come true, but no matter how many times you tell yourself you aren't something. It tends to become an utter truth. Cloud's mind was swimming in war of words and images. He had attempted to avoid going towards that general direction. Not that he disliked the idea of being Gay; it was just that he had been raised to believe that such things were wrong. He feared coming to the realization that he could be gay and then having to come out to his family. The fear of disownment was there. And it had been forming ever since his first failed friendships, and eventually, his first relationship. Abandonment was something he didn't want to face. But as he continued to beat his head agains the steering wheel, another call started to come in, and the tune beaming out. It wasn't helping his general mindset.
One that he didn't want to go down right now and one that he was going to erase off his phone as soon as he realized the password Zack had put on his phone. He had thought it a "joke" to do it assure that the tone wasn't erased. Zack considered his own personal "Theme Song". For Cloud, it was an embarrasment to hear blaring in class. He had put up with enough giggles from girls who had heard it. And some of the guys snickering at him. Making their comments under their breath about his ringtone and claiming it was "boyfriend calling."
It's okay to be gay
Let's rejoice in the gay way
Hooray for the kind of man
You will find in the ga-
"Zack! I've asked you to take this stupid ringtone off my cell phone!" Cloud was adamant as he shouted into the phone; not letting Zack have the first word.
His mind was on a ball of various juggling acts right now, and that tune wasn't helping the tipping pyramid, "Geez Cloud, calm down, I'll take it off whenever you come to pick us up from the Café that need I remind you, you le—"
Angeal took the phone from the teen, "Cloud, it's Angeal, could you come back to the Café so we can talk about this calmly?"
"Heh, I'm on my way…" Cloud ran a hand through his hair as he looked to the rear view mirror.
How was he going to explain the steering wheel mark across his forehead?
xxx
The call ended on either end as Angeal handed it back to Zack, "So, what's going on? Is he coming back for us?"
Angeal's look said it all, "Just sit tight, Pup."
xxx
Cloud pulled up to the light just before the turn to the Café, Just…make the turn…get the book…and then drive away with Zack and Angeal in the backseat…
"Is that what you really want, Cloud?" a voice seemed to come from the backseat.
Cloud looked over his shoulder into the backseat; assuming it was a joke that Zack had left in the backseat. But his eyes began to look back over to the front, to the side of his vision. He could see a colorfully dressed figure that resembled the outfit Zack had worn to the Gay Pride Parade and Festival. Aside from colorful lipstick, it looked nothing like Zack. Even down to the brightly colored blond hair and decorations in his hair and rolled on glitter lotion on the figures arms. Either Cloud had slammed his head too hard against the steering wheel. Or he had completely lost his mind.
"…W-Who…Wh-Who…Who the Hell are you?" Cloud started to wonder if this person had snuck into his car.
Before the figure could answer, the sounds of an angry motorist behind him derailed his thought process for a second as the figure seemed to vanish for a moment.
sidetracked the questioning.
"MOVE IT, GRANDMA!"
Cloud waved at him through the rear view window which gave him an answer of a middle finger being flipped to him, "Geez, touchy much? But I would suggest you drive through the light and then turn into the little corner over there, then we can talk, okay darling?"
"Oh up yours young man!" a little old lady in front of Cloud poked out the front of her car, flipping the man off with an arthritic finger.
"Wow, Granny has some spunk on her, compared to my, more like your Granny, whoa, that little old lady had some strike to her," the voice had took on full form as he sat watching the little old lady pulled on ahead, but the fun wasn't over, "Oh, this is really going to get good…Little old lady versus big macho idiot fights are always the best compared to those pathetic little fights between whiny little drama queens."
As odd as it seemed, he was right, the little old lady and angry driver were going at it, but the little old lady was getting the better of the driver, "Oh, go Granny, show that overly dressed Gorilla whose boss!"
"Um…Care to explain you are?" Cloud had done what the figure had asked; he hadn't placed a time limit to retrieve his book or pick up Zack and Angeal, "Just who or what are you?"
With as much seriousness as the figure could muster; he turned in the seat, placing a colorfully decorated wristed hand on Cloud's arm, "Oh my Gaia…are you that dense on what you are deep down inside?"
Cloud was even more confused now, especially with this man touching him and, why did he smell like a flower garden after a morning rain in Spring? "Just who the Hell who are you and none of this, ring around the rosy song and dance answering…"
"Darling, you've got to get over yourself, open your mind, release your inhibitions and realize that you…my darling Cloud Nathaniel Strife…"
"Wait," Cloud had to stop the man, "How do you know that?"
The man's mannerisms continued as he placed two fingers on Cloud's lips, "My dear Cloud Strife, haven't you noticed it yet?" he pulled back as his hands seemed to make a kind of blooming flower design as he answered Cloud's question, "I…am…you!"
xxx
Zack looked up and down the street questioningly; he couldn't place his finger on what it he just heard, "Angeal, did you hear that?"
"Hear what?" Angeal was confused like Zack was and it took more then a questionable look on Zack's face to make Angeal confused.
"Something that sounded like screaming 'I'm Not Gay You Hear Me You Figure Of My Imagination' just now?"
xxx
The figure was doing all it could to calm down Cloud to keep the man from running into oncoming traffic. While also attempting to drag Cloud away from public eye. A raving lunatic screaming the words Cloud was screaming, would be enough to lock the man way into the Cuckoo's Nest. His raving was about an imaginary figure that was claiming he was gay, and was meant to be gay. It wasn't the best thing to be seen on the streets; especially since he didn't want to lose this young man. There was a goal he had to achieve for him, and if he got locked away. Then it would be for naught.
Sometimes I wish I could shake him...
"Cloud, Cloud, Cloud, CLOUD!" the figure managed to grab a hold of Cloud's wrists only to have Cloud wrench away from the figure's rainbow colored fingernail grip,
"Listen…I know its hard to hear that…I know…I guess I just told you a little quickly…"
Cloud looked at the figure with all seriousness, "You think, you think, YOU THINK!"
"Look…this may seem hard to grasp or come to terms with, but…just hear me out, you may not have noticed it, but…you are kind of showing the tell tale signs and its not because of your little roommate best friend," the figure rested his hands on his hips but Cloud's glare made him change that, "You never seemed to get a girlfriend and it wasn't because you weren't capable of finding one or getting a girl interested in you. You secretly danced in your room to musicals, you were willing to go with Zack to those Gay Bars and even when some guy was hitting on you, there was a little something in you that said, 'Oh yeah…this guy is hot…' "
Cloud continued to listen, but he knew there was no point denying it. All of those points were valid, but there points that the figure didn't know. He had brushed all of those things aside. Counting them as his mind straying since he was on the rebound from his break up with his girlfriend and too many times out with Zack and Angeal. When he had gone to the bars with them, most of the guys who had attempted to flirt with him. They had been too forceful, and brash. He could feel they weren't the right guys for him even if he ever came to the conclusion he was gay. Zack and Angeal had come to his aid a number of the times some of the more burlier, older bar patrons tried to hit on him. Zack had become quite the actor had making it seem like he had missed his little "Cloudy Wuddy". While Angeal had taken to being the simple player who would ran a hand around Cloud's shoulder, whispering in his ear if he wanted to go home. And when Cloud blush, that would be the cue to amp up the acting. The two of them would fight over who was taking Cloud home, until Cloud finally told them they could both take him home.
Many of the other patrons who had tried to hit on Cloud would give sad looks as they watched the trio walk away, "Oh, he's so lucky to have TWO boyfriends…Mmm…I would like to get in on THAT little sandwich."
"Lucky little bitch…"
"Aww, he's taken already? Damn and we had such great chemistry starting."
"Darling, you've got great chemistry starting with EVERYBODY!"
"Alright, so, if I get what you mean; I'm gay? But I don't feel gay and I don't talk like I am or dress like I am…"Cloud started pacing the alley, "I don't even know how to act gay even if I am…"
A girl like giggling fit came from the figure as the man doubled over, but it sounded more like a high pitched, girly hyena laugh as he wiped away tears, "Oh darling, you are SO far from being gay, you are so far out of the Gay pool that you are on the starting edge of the shallow end of the pool…you've got SO far to go before really realizing it," he started to lick his lips as he moved in closer to Cloud, "That dirty little image you created photographically in your mind about the silver haired God at that Café this afternoon…Oh, darling, you only dipped a baby toe into the shallow end of that pool today and by pulling out of it into thinking, 'Nope, nope, nope…can't think this…' you pulled so far out of that pool you need to get back into that pool and start playing around it. Have fun with it!"
"…I want to, but…" Cloud nervously fidgeted in place as he shifted his steps back and forth between themselves, "…but…but…"
"…But what, Mr. Strife…?" a different voice came as Cloud turned his gaze as he found himself standing face to face with the image that started this questioning of being straight or bending and flexible like a bendy straw, "What are you afraid of…?"
"Rejection…realization…"Cloud moved closer towards the man until he found the man's arms wrapping around Cloud, one hand moving up through the back of Cloud's scalp, and tilting his head, "Tru-"
He didn't have time to speak further as he found the lips crushing; it was smooth, delicate, perfect, and…just right, "…Open your eyes, Cloud…"
Cloud did so as he saw that the figure that had been there wasn't there anymore, "…Oh Gaia…I am…"
"Sorry…I had to test you…" the figure slipped away; leaving Cloud alone in the alleyway with the utter realization, "Have a nice day, darling."
xxx
Zack had begun acting up as he began to scratch his head eagerly; he couldn't make out if what he had heard was true or not as he pulled at Angeal's sleeve, "What is it now, Zack? Did Timmy fall down the well, again?"
"Very funny…but, now Timmy is fine, but, I heard something else, but this time its different, it didn't sound like someone fighting with someone…"
Angeal was confused as he tried to wrap his head and thoughts around what Zack was talking about, "You're taking the Puppy pet name too far, what is going on with you?"
"…It sounded like resolve...realization…kind of like how I was when I finally came out of the closet…"
"And…?"
"The scream this time was, 'I'm Gay…and I'm not ashamed…' "