Authors' note: Thanks to the ones commenting me. But I have to say this or I will burst. I have this story written almost to its end, and it has many chapters to go still. But trust me, if I don't get a decent number of reviews this time, I will just let this story die and not update again. I get it , you are bored to comment. And I could as well say I am bored to keep on writing, though. But do I? It's rude, I can see a lot of people are reading this. If you care enough for this story plz review once in your life? And dont tell me it is cheap fishing for comments. I have seen people with worse stories doing this and they still get reviews.
If you have been following me, you will have noticed by now how little confidence I have when it comes to my stories. If you cared enough about this story, I get it you'd review to keep me going. Yet most of you stay indifferent. I doubt most of you are even reading this. Well, guess what, you're being inconsiderate. You could at least tell me to bother or to not bother with it? Save me some time, ya know? Idc if you think I am rude or what not, I have had enough with it. So, unless you review, I take it this is last chapter I am posting. Have fun.
Too soon, too late
Sasuke's POV
The raven haired angel looked apathetically into the blonde hokage's eyes.
That was an option he had never thought about before, until the hokage let it slip out.
He kept his stare stable in the cerulean sad eyes, his face emotionless. His tears had stopped falling, or that was what he could figure out since now that he was calmer, he could come to realize that he could no longer feel their smooth roll down his pale cheeks.
It'd be…easy to run.
Sasuke looks at him as if he is crazy for a moment. Can he really mean that? No, the Naruto he knows cant. Or can he? Which does he love more? The village of Konoha or the traitor that he once called his friend?
Sasuke doesn't know. He is confused himself. More than anything else, Naruto's suggestion seem to be a spur of the moment kind of thing to say. Naruto is like that, always emotional, always letting his feelings take over and affect him, whether for good or bad.
He doesn't know what to reply to this. Accept the blonde to come with him and damn him in the same run away fate he has condemned himself into? Naruto isn't a criminal. He is a hero- he saved his village from Pain, he fought Gara of The Sand and made him change to good…and many other heroic like things. Yet again, if he runs away with the traitor, the missing nin whose disgrace covers all the lengths and wides of Konoha and has got people cursing for his existence all around in it, people will forget anything good about their savior and proceed into calling him a traitor, too. But does Naruto deserve that? The answer is no. Cause he is nothing like that, if only always faithful to his rich feelings.
And what if Sasuke takes him along? How would they survive? What would they do? Too men alone together for the rest of their lives? That's one thing society would find hard to deal with, and so would he. He knew Naruto could care less about what people said but Sasuke ever the reasonable one thought of other things, as well. Such as the need to find a wife to restore his clan. If the blonde was a girl, he'd be more than willing to take him along. He knew he cared enough for Naruto as it was, to be able to tag his feelings with something almost as similar as love. And he knew Naruto loved him back in his own unconditional unlimited way.
What kind of life would he damn Naruto with, if he took him with him? Certainly, not a good one. It wasn't the right time to be a hypocrite and he knew that. If he cared for the blonde as he had said, the best option would be to turn down his offer and disappear for good from his life, letting him live his calm life as a hokage in the village of Konoha.
But damn, the raven, he had a heart too, a human one at that. And no matter how hard he denied it, he had feelings too and he was allowed to be selfish for once-wasn't he always, anyway? What was so wrong about him being himself? As in vengeance, now it was time to be a lil bit selfish to heart themes, too.
I mean, it's okay if you don't want..
What could possibly make the blonde man think that Sasuke wouldn't like to take him along? He would die to, actually. But it was a hard choice, that was all. And no matter how cruel his stoic silence was to Naruto at that moment, he couldn't help but just stare back in the blonde's cerulean sad and hope filled eyes as if trying to read the answer to all of their problems.
He tilted his head slightly downwards, the sun was already setting and they wouldn't have much time alone if the Anbu decided to feel alarmed for their missing hokage.
It wasn't such a good idea after all for Naruto to stray his path that very day.
Sasuke looked at the ground, in deep thought and cold pregnant silence. He had to say something, soon.
He had to make a crucial choice that would have drastical effects on both of them.
Option one would just make him hate himself for eternity and even more for burdening Naruto with his traitorous fame.
Option two, would let them both go back to their ordinary tracks and no obvious damage would be done besides the long suffering that would follow in his heart for never being able to go back to his blonde again.
Both of the outcomes seemed kind of terrible to him. He didn't want to lose the dobe, HIS dobe, the only alive bond that had remained in his lonely pathetic excuse of a life. So far he had lived for hatred but now that Itachi was down-even if unfairly-what did he have to live for? Perhaps for love? Could he find it in the face of a certain blonde?
Somehow, he wanted to follow that road. He felt like a starved and deprived from pleasant emotions kid that needed a helping hand right now and the hokage was his ideal savior. But what did he have to give back to his benefactor if only for the life of a run aways and society outcasts?
His eyes averted back to Naruto's, studying his tired face , secretly moved.
He didn't want to think that it was only for the heat of the moment, because Naruto suggesting this meant a lot to him.
Seeing the blonde's eyes shine with a fake confidence and hurt admittance, he was able to read his thoughts.
He probably thought that the raven haired man would think low of him for suggesting this thing, or wouldn't take him seriously. Well, if he did, this would only just be a façade to convince the blonde hokage that this was a stupid idea and lead their ways to option two.
But his heart was struggling to not give it to him that easily.
''Naruto, you…''
''Wait. I mean, uh, nevermind.'' He was cut off by his blonde.
Sasuke smirked at the blonde's expected words, but sighed tired in the same time.
It was a difficult situation. How had he messed it up so bad for himself and Naruto?
Of course, the blonde would never even hope to think that the raven would want to have him by his side? Sasuke was always the distant one, no one could read into his heart and even if he had told Naruto that he cared for him, actions always spoke louder than words.
Option one, would make Naruto think that Sasuke did care, short term, but that was just a façade, masked by selfish emotional reasons.
Option two would make Naruto hurt or even hate Sasuke and think that he was indifferent to him. Which was far from the truth. Cause long term, hopefully, one day Naruto Uzumaki would come to realize that Sasuke did it all for his blonde glory.
So, now what? Prove that he was honest and he meant it when he said that he cared or be selfish and take Naruto with him?
So much contradiction. His life was full of it. His relationship with Naruto was, too.
One more tear had escaped his thoughtful onyx eyes and had graced the paleness of his cheek, which he didn't fail to miss by the way Naruto's eyes widened at that.
He was crying again? He raised his hand to his cheek and wiped it off. No it was just a single tear.
''I get it. You don't... I mean.
But it was enough to give his inner struggles out to Naruto.
Sasuke looked at the blonde, sealing his beautiful eyes behind his exhausted pain writhled eye lids.
It was turning angsty and Sasuke figured he had to speak soon. Make up his mind. And may God damn him if he wanted. But he knew what he wanted and he would claim it, for once, for himself. Not for his family, not for Itachi, not for any dead relatives that gave him anything but pain, but for himself and only.
I get it. Okay? Just...
Sasuke looked at Naruto rather overbeaten by the inner struggle. He had a slight frown and he closed his eyes as well for a while, listening only to the sound of the wind playing with the leaves around as if he was trying to find his answers in the wise voice of the universe.
But that voice was silent now. And the only voice offering to be heard was his own inner one, which was far less wise and reasonable than any other kind of voice at the given moment cause his emotions were taking the best out of him.
He breathed deeply and took a step closer to Naruto. He opened his eyes in a slow relieved motion. He had made his choice. He didn't care if it was wrong. He had made it now and there was no going back.
''Naruto, you idiot. You offer to leave everything behind for the spur of the moment and I am willing to let you do so. Who is more pathetic between us two?''Sasuke asked with a slightly ironic teasing motion. It was more of a rhetorical question, like declaring that he wanted Naruto to go with him but also admitting that it was a bad idea in the same time.
He frowned slightly, his heart was ligther now that he had laid out his wishes to Naruto but his mind was giving him pain.
He ignored his logic that said he was a greedy selfish b*****d and a hypocrite and his eyes shined with new heat momentarily as he looked again at Naruto.
He would rather spend his life sad but with Naruto, than happy and carefree without his blonde. He knew that the truth was that Naruto would be sad either way he chose.
His face took a serious expression as he raised his hand to touch the face of the most precious person to him on earth. He cupped the blonde's chin, forcing Naruto to look into his onyx intense eyes.
''Just know that I don't have much to give.'' Simple as that.
His husky voice still lingered in his ears. His eyes bored into Naruto's, trying hard not to stray cause he wanted to look anywhere else right now.
He knew it had sounded unintentionally cruel but he was blunt like that. He wanted to make sure that the emotional blonde could think for himself and realize that a life tagged along with the raven haired traitor would have a great toll on his own name and way of life.
His hand moved from the blonde's chin to his cheek, in a motion to stroke his cheek bones with the back of his hand.
''But I need… what you have…''he said, before he could realize it, his voice leaving smalls gaps of silence between the words.
He savored the feeling of Naruto's skin against his fingers, wishing there was a way to make things simpler. He had taken his decision but was Naruto mature and certain for his own?
Only time could tell…
Naruto's POV
Naruto's life had officially become complex. I mean, it was one thing to admit that being Hokage was wearing him into a thin skeleton of what he use to be. It was an easy truth. But to actually leave it behind? Completely different plain of dramatics entirely. And to make things harder, the reward he would recieve for such actions was Sasuke.
Out of all the things in the world, the raven was the one persona he'd ever forsake Konoha to. Because heaven knows Naruto didn't care if they hunted him down. If his people called him dirt, or hated him. To be honest, it was an easy price he'd be willing to pay time and time again. He just didn't want to lose the other. Sasuke was the only thing keeping him anchored to reality. And if he left.. what would the Hokage hold onto? Have faith in? Now that he thought about it, either path he chose in the next ten minutes.. would most likely have him killed, or without his other. Most likely the formentioned. Six feet under without a pine box. That's what he'll be. All Naruto had left to do was decide whether he wanted anyone to care if he was gone. The blond hated to admit such things, but it was obvious.
If he went with the Uchiha, Sasuke probably wouldn't show a hint of remorse at his passing. And Konoha wouldn't miss another traitor. At best, he'd be a smudge on their history. Nevermind the hard work he put into saving the town for the past couple years.
But if he stayed.. Naruto would remain this empty shell. And eventually, people would be furious with him for 'dying too soon'. Claim he didn't accomplish enough. The whole thing was infuriating. He had been convinced his choice was the correct one and that if it meant staying with Sasuke, he promised himself to do anything. Reflecting logically, this perfect idea might not be quite so perfect.
Still, he didn't regret thinking of it. Didn't regret saying he would leave. Sasuke outweighed his sense of duty by a mile.
''Naruto, you idiot. You offer to leave everything behind for the spur of the moment-'' The blond cringed. It was like having salt rubbed in a open wound. "-and I am willing to let you do so.''
Wait. What?
''.. Who is more pathetic between us two?''
Naruto forced himself to look at him. And suddenly, he got this overwhelming urge to touch the other. Sasuke said it was okay, Sasuke said it was okay! He let his mind chant the response, snuggled in the warmth of it's acceptance. Then, he felt a hand on his cheek. It was solid and perfect and so natural as if he always had it there.. always had that connection.
''It's a tie.'' he stammered, face aflame.
''...Like usual.''
He couldn't help it. He gently clung to the hand on his face, stroking it with his thumb. After a while though, he dropped the hold. God forbid Sasuke think him any more of an emotional sap. So, when he stopped, the blond carefully closed his eyes. His Hokage mask was slipping where the pale hand had touched, but for the most part, Naruto blew it off.
''You really mean it?'' he murmured suddenly, believing himself to be half dreaming and practically in bliss.
Blue orbs fluttered to examine dark hues. The sun was setting in the background, each color of it's dying day becomming violent yet alluring upon the raven's face.
''Your not toying with me?''
Silence. It dawned upon them like a raining darkness, enveloping the pair in it's plunge. Naruto held strong, only looking at Sasuke for confirmation. The world around them waited to turn. To continue on it's tilt. But Naruto ignored it. He needed to know if this was the truth. If Sasuke really wanted him. Or.. if he wanted another game.
''Just know that I don't have much to give.''
''Your all I want.'' He whispered, looking at the raven with understanding.
Uchiha was telling him it was a bad idea. And in so many ways, Naruto knew. He was just tired. Tired of everything. Of waiting, especially. As long as they were together, the blond knew nothing else could matter.
''But I need… what you have…''
The words jabbed at him, cutting to bone. His heart seemed to stop for a moment, confused by what that implied.
What did Sasuke need?
Entertainment? Food for his snakes?
Naruto chewed on his lower lip, not caring how childish it was. The voice was speaking again, grumbling how he should be right in these doubts. His stomach twisted, understanding this. The fiery tails of the beast swirled in it's prison, echoing with laughter.
It's messing with me. It... it has to be.
He shifted, escaping Sasuke's palm.
''We better... get going.''
It was then that Naruto's eyes met those of Sasuke once more. His jaw automatically clenched and he looked at the other with a sense of trust. He couldn't believe that he was about to do this. A traitor? Someone had to be really screwing with his head. It had not fit into the plan for his life. Had not been part of this image. Most of all, it scared the crap out of him.
So he raised trembling fingers to the band tied at his forearm, trying in vain to unknot it. But that didn't stop his lips from smiling, or his heart from knocking painfully against his ribs. He could barely get the first tie off before his body started shaking; nerves racking his spine and grief for never seeing home again.
At last, he seemed to slip it off, faded ties hanging lifelessly in his hand. The fox within him raged at this incompetence, but urged him forward. Everything was silent between the two, and it unnerved Naruto. Blue orbs wavered, trying to burn the headband's image into his mind.
It's all for him.
Hand tilting outward, the blond kept his gaze discreetly away. He was giving Sasuke his headband, offering what was left of himself.
''It... it won't be hard...t-to run,'' he repeated. Nowadays he would never say things twice. But for this occasion, Naruto made an exception. The words were meant as much for himself as for Sasuke. He wanted him to know that this was alright. That he wouldn't turn back.
Not ever.
Because that's what best friends do for each other, right? Since forever Sasuke was his life everything else would come afterwards. It was hard to change that kind of mentality into something more rational and mature. It was frightening and somewhat impossible, really. No matter what though, this would just lead him to the tragic end to his tragic story. He just wanted Sasuke to be with him, when the curtains closed.
The wind howled against the faces of past hokage, and Naruto took a deep breath. He didn't catch the sound of footsteps approaching, or the lights from Konoha reflecting up at them. He was still waiting for Sasuke to just take the headband from him. To lead him away from home.
''Hokage!''
And with one word... it was like a waterfall of events.
Large eyes widened. The boy opened his mouth to say something to Sasuke.. to run. To do anything! But an arm slipped around his stomach before he had the chance, dragging him away from the dark angel. The band slipped from his fingers, and the air in his lungs followed. Naruto coughed, feeling the arm tighten. In honesty, the ninja probably had no idea he was hurting Naruto.. for gods sakes, no one should be as frail as him.
''S-sasu-''
''You hurt the Hokage!''
It's a scratch. Don't exaggerate, idiots!
''Uchiha Sasuke, by the diress of Konoha, we place you under arrest. Resist, and we will be forced to harm you.''
No... no! This wasn't how it was suppose to go! Naruto wrinkled his nose, a tan hand reaching out toward the other. Another anbu stepped between them, totaling their numbers to four. A tiny whimper ghosted from his lips.
What Naruto wanted wasn't really a surprise yet the anbu had no idea. Why couldn't they be more perceptive? Naruto wanted to leave. He struggled against the anbu holding him, only to be told he was safe. That the traitor couldn't hurt him.
''He's not a traitor dammit! Lemme go!'' he spoke, free hand planting firmly on the one wrapped around him, trying to pry it off.
Jeez.
When did anbu get so buff?
''I order you to let me go!''
''Hokage, I'm sorry. This is for your protection. I have orders to bring you back.''
''F-from who?''
''... Lee.''
R&R?