Woot, thanks for the reviews, girls!(and guys? XxxD) I am glad some of you took the time to review this story! It gave me enough motivation to update faster. ;)
Darkmoon Fleur, thanks for being a stable reviewer, I think it's really kind of you to support me and my story with your comments. I hope you keep liking this. Yeah, it's in Sasuke's character to be messed up like that ahahahah but I promise things will turn out good in the end(I need to have at least one story with happy end, as all of my stories so far have bitter ending xD ahahahah)
AspergianStoryteller, thanks for taking the time to comment 3 chapters! I am really glad you like my(not entirely mine, it's the surreal's too :3) story. I hope you keep reading and enjoying the way things go!
Again
Naruto's POV
The latch clicked.
A million thoughts ran through his head; over a dozen of them screaming at him to run. Just get up, charge past whoever's there, and run like hell.
Too bad he didn't.
Everything around the blond became a haze of black and metallic coating, leaving him breathless and totally unprepared as the figure slipped inside. For the black eyes to bear into him as cold as the darkest night, yet still manage to start a fire beneath his skin. It was such an irriational process, though Naruto had never felt so alive.
I can't... god,
Naruto had been worried for the male in front of him. About how he was fairing, his health. He couldn't even remember how many months ago it'd been when they last parted.. but it tore at him, watching those raven locks shift against his porcelain face. Even in that dismal cell, his angel was clear as the moon itself. He knows he could've looked at the other tiny miracles in front of him: Sasuke's hands- calloused and hanging loosely by his side, the trademark blade dangling against his hip, or the shape of his shoulders beneath the robe. But he only stared at his eyes. Nothing but those eyes.
The wind whipped again, crawling inside the window. It had no force, no power. The cold bit at his fingers, but they remained still. He held his breath without knowing, captivated by the person in front of him.
''Sasuke,'' he said, very softly. Almost a non-existent word.
''You're alive?'' the disbelief was obvious, spoken like a request. A dream. As if at any second, the Uchiha would fade into shadows. Leave him here alone again.
''You are.'' he breathed. Cus' that's all Naruto could've asked for in this life. To know that the raven wasn't harmed, that he's even remotely happy. But the moment is soon robbed from him, just like everything else. A stab at his ribs jolts slender arms to wrap even tighter around himself; suddenly churning over the idea of what might be coming. Of what Sasuke might want.
He can't recall a taste for what has been settling in his mouth, but if he were to take a guess? It'd be fear, threatening him in such an undeniable way Naruto refused to speak.
Sasuke had been missing for so long. His presence symbolized just how lost Naruto'd become. How broken.
Naruto closed his eyes. And God, he get's lost in that voice. That voice! He repeated every syllable spoken in his mind, relishing beneath the one solid thing he has left. The only thing he hadn't destroyed. Naruto's forgotten how cold Sasuke can come across, said nature ebbing the contours of his face, brandishing all the wrong angles. The most obvious being his frown.
Naruto wished he could recall what the raven looked like when he was happy; every time he tried though, he stumbled across buckets of ash, of burning people piled along with his lost hope.
''Don't call me that.''
Blue orbs snap open, pooled with a hidden hurt and unmistakable sense of self-loathing.
''Ever.''
Hokage. In such a short few hours the phrase had become so foreign and unfulfilling. Then again, it didn't belong to him anymore. No, it belonged to someone strong. Fierce. Naruto couldn't even claim to be a fraction of those things. He was a coward. A fool. By all means, look at what he'd done to Konoha.
Look at what he'd let happen.
Naruto raised a dirty hand to grip at his hair, tugging vainly at the roots. He was ducking down, burying his face in his knees. Cus' in honesty, the boy was ashamed for Sasuke to see him like this. To be riddled with whatever was left of his existence. But stemming from that thought, he was also raking his head for a way to fix it. Fix Konoha.. and all the people he'd lost.
Words are leaking from his lips without realizing, a reflex he no longer controls. Naruto doesn't blink, doesn't care. Sasuke's image is fading from him, slipping away. He just sits there, continuing his previous task of matching each name with a face. Of picking who would've been better off with him not being Hokage.
Ino Yamanaka. Shino Aburame. Konohamaru Sarutobi. Kurenai Yuhi..
The names went on. On and on.
When Sasuke speaks, Naruto has to fight the piling destruction that is his sanity to look back at him. Leveling his gaze with an empty expression, Naruto realizes the Uchiha has changed. How? He didn't know. Something was different though. Something missing.
''No. I don't want-'' the blond shuddered, feeling his body ache against the numbing breeze that continued to n** at him.
Naruto didn't want to tell him that the medic nin had already been through his cell, and were the ones who'd given him the small stitching he had now. They'd tried to do more, but he wouldn't let them. Fell into a fit of hysteria he hadn't even thought existed inside himself. He wouldn't let them heal him, or touch him in any way after that. Nobody could. Since, by his degrading logic, whatever he didn't use would go to the other prisoners the few people he was still responsible for.
Maybe it'd save their life.
The ex-Hokage draws his legs closer, tighter to his chest. If there was ever a time he wished he could be invisible, now would be it. He watched indifferently as Sasuke lighted candles, making the strain on his eyes easier. And, his back press just a bit tighter against the wall. He's like a frightened animal. Trapped here.
''You're too late.'' Way late, he thinks. But better late than never.
The words he says are short, clipped. A mirthless attempt at a joke though no one's laughing. It's just him and Sasuke. Dumped together in this tiny cell, for reason's he doesn't even understand.
Naruto tugs harder at his hair, remembering the way he'd wished for the Uchiha to appear two days ago.. how he'd stocked all his faith in a person who'd never come. And look. Here he was. Only Naruto didn't want help anymore, just for somebody to kill him.
''Konoha's gone.''
And suddenly, he felt like babbling. Like crying. He wanted to tell Sasuke everything that'd happened. About the things he'd witnessed, the things he'd heard. Naruto didn't think he'd ever forget the sound of their home crumbling to nothing, about the stench of dying friends... or how incredibly sorry he was for not doing the one thing he was built to do; protect. Tears well up in his eyes, and the male folds in on himself for the umpteenth time that day.. cringing with the memories.
If only he'd become anbu instead of Hokage.
If only he'd gone with the five.
If only he'd died.
If only
If only
If only.
''It's really gone,'' his shoulders knot, shifting against the invisible burden he carried. Naruto's forehead bunches up, distressed by the things he can't ignore. By all he had wished for, and for the things he's telling Sasuke. The raven probably doesn't even care, but every bit of this is tearing him apart. Leaving him in shreds, nothing but bloody imprints on the floor.
''Everything.''
It was a hollow, empty laugh. The sound ruptured his lips, forcing him to tremble with weakness. Because slowly, Naruto's losing bits of himself. Hell, he doesn't even think there's anything left to lose.
''E-everyone's dead.''
The blond looks to Sasuke, expecting to find something they both know he'll never find. Not even if he chipped away at the hard layers keeping the Uchiha from him. He'd never find the remorse those people deserved, or a hint of regret.
He realizes why the avenger is probably here.
Why he was really here. Naruto's heart throbbed at the understanding, but accepted it all the same. He'd known Sasuke was a traitor long before this. So why should he be surprised? The Hokage blinked, thinking again how many people were lost, how it was his fault.
Did Sasuke come here just to tell him that.. ?
Inwardly, Uzumaki bet on it. He may not know much about anything, but he thought he knew Sasuke, once. He thought Sasuke would have had no other reason to come here... to a tiny cell that wreaked of day-old blood and misery, unless it were to declare dominance.
''Am I... did I-i imagine it?''
The idea left his lips before he could catch himself. And as a malformed consolation, the blond bit back the desperate sob that threatened to follow, drooping his head to look at the tops of his knees. Don't answer, he prays. You need'nt bother. Naruto already knows.
''I wish... I wish I d-did.''
Sasuke's POV
Onyx orbs bored apathetically into cerulean eyes, as his mind absorbed the essence of the blonde's voice.
Are you alive?
He didnt feel the need to reply to this, seeing as Naruto was probably in a hallucinating state of mind. Instead he kept silent, watching over the ex hokage, his eyes running over his wounds.
He didnt know why, but something inside him bothered him and annoyed him in the view of those external traumas. He didnt like seeing his ex friend in that state. He didnt know why it affected him so much, since he used to think he had been over the blonde long ago, back in those days he was struggling with his loneliness and was in the first step of planning his revenge to Konoha along with Madara. He eyed him carefully as he made a few more steps closer to him.
And there he thought his heart had frozen, that it had become an ice cold flat door made of ice that would never open no matter how many times you'd find yourself knocking on it. And there Naruto could manage to make that door tremble without even raising his hand to simply touch it. His voice, his familiar long missed glance was all Sasuke needed, to feel a wave of melancholy feeling his veins and mind and poisoning his mind with something he had long forgotten and swore not to give again into: care.
He looked at the blonde man who was hugging his knees so clumsily, his heart skipping a bit at the wave of regret that hit him. But it soon was gone as was his melancholy. Sure he had convinced himself that he didnt need Naruto anymore but he never wanted the blonde to suffer or be badly hurt. He looked at him kinda frustrated at the idea. He thought he had asked the ninjas not to hurt the hokage.
But with Madara still being on charge, no one gave a crap of attention to the Uchiha.
He felt like a babbling chicken that no one listens to cause they are busy doing other things. Yet he knew most of them would run away if were to face him on one on one battle. Wusses.
Naruto's voice snapped him out of his thoughts again. Oh kami, how much had he missed that voice of his that used to haunt his dreams back in the day. He remembered how he longed to hear it all day, and do nothing else. Just listen to Naruto talk and say anything…he didnt care what, his voice was enough to send his mind travelling on unknown relaxing locations. Take his mind of his pain, his loneliness.
Don't call me that
''As you wish, Naruto.'' Sasuke complied, his eyes never parting from the blonde.
He understood how Naruto was feeling right now. He knew him too well to not understand, to not be able to read him.
He suppressed a small smirk that threatened his lips. If only he had chosen to go after him, everything would have been different now. And even if this wouldnt sound as nice to Naruto's ears, Sasuke could never bring himself to admit it out loud to him, it was too much for his pride to take.
He knew already that Naruto wasnt the 12 year old baka he had met at the village, and that he most probably had figured out why Sasuke was there. Why he wasnt by his side when the war busted out.
It was a good thing that he didnt need to phrase out with words what needed to be said. Cause they both knew, in the small silence that followed what they really meant to say to each other.
One part of him wanted to comfort Naruto and tell him that it wasnt his fault but it was Konoha's for being so useless and relying everything only on one person. Not because he once cared for the blonde man but because he really believed this. Sasuke wasnt one to sugarcoat things even for those he cared for. His other part chose to remain apathetic to this, feeling there was no need to expose himself because Naruto's reaction was sporadic. But was it really? He wasnt sure. The war after all wasnt such a small thing not to have a deep and long lasting impact on the blonde. The truth beyond all this was just that Sasuke didnt know how to handle a sad and broken Naruto. He was used always to see him determined,optimistic, hiding everything behind a smiling facade.
No. I don't want
Sasuke snapped out of his dark thoughts once more at the blonde's voice.
How he hated it when Naruto was being stubborn like a kid. In the same time it reminded him of their team 7 era and this brought up some melancholy again into his tainted soul.
He smirked , but his expression was just more than serious. He slowly approached the blonde, now towering over him. He looked down on his folded figure, with a hint of secret pity. He really needed to be taken care of.
''I dont care what you want. Obviously, you are not in a place to take decisions for yourself. And you will be taken care of, under my commands. 'he said coldly in his characteristic arrogant tone. He wouldnt let the blonde get some infection of the wounds and have him die.
In no way would he make it that easy for him. Besides, being Madara's ally, he still had some business to end with the man, such as making Naruto tell him where they hid the forbidden jutsu scrolls in Konoha. Madara had asked him that, in high hopes that they hadnt been already destroyed.
Of course, Sasuke would have to take it slow with Naruto. Naruto was never a traitor and Sasuke doubted Naruto would let it slip out, even to his ex raven friend.
For this, he needed other tactics besides violence and being straightforward, both of which he wasnt eager to use on Naruto by any means for the time being.
You're too late. Konoha's gone
Sasuke suppressed his want to laugh out loud at this. Laugh a maniac laugh. Was Naruto really so foolish? And there he thought the blonde had matured. Was he so naive? Or was he just denying what he knew was merely true? Sasuke had gone all against Konoha and even if he hadnt been with the ones who assaulted it, he wouldnt bother shaking a finger to run to the village's need for help.
Naruto and everyone who knew Sasuke knew very well his hatred and bitterness for Konoha.
Now him betraying Konoha which had betrayed his family and him in the first place was a completely different feeling than Naruto betraying him in the way he did by feeling that way about the whole matter.
He felt disgusted for a moment with the blonde and everyone who was of the same opinion with him: That Sasuke ought to help them out.
Really? What about him? Did ever anyone ask him in how much pain he'd been out of the very village ever since the first years of his painful life? No. Of course, not. All they cared for was just and only their own lives, their own happiness, their own well being. His happiness, his well being, they just didnt matter as long as he didnt betray ''saintly'' Konoha.
A disgusted expression tried to make its way up to his pale porcelain like face but he kept it back last minute, not wishing to become emotional in front of Naruto again. He had swore to himself he wouldnt fall for such weak sentimentalities again. And not with him.
E-everyone's dead.
Sasuke's eyes returned to the hokage's figure, his mind diving into past memories he never ceased fearing. Those words spitted up something in him, the memories of that night he came back home from his training only to find his family slaughtered by his own brother.
His whole clan slaughtered. And the main thoughts that were taking over his hurt childish mind at that cold night, at the moment of the harsh realization were these:
Everyone's dead.
Oh how well he remembered how much it hurt. Just those words, those very words that were reproduced by his aching mind had spread the pain into his heart. And that pain never had left him, upon this very day. He'd be a hypocrite if he didnt admit that he could sympathize with Naruto now. That he could put himself into the dobe's shoes, even if this wasn't what he wanted to do. Even if the circumstances werent exactly the same, there were many similarities in them such as that Naruto had never gained conscious knowledge of his family ever since he started understanding the whole around him, so Konoha was his actual family.
He had grown up with it, despised and loved but in the end all those people were the only thing he could relate to in his lonely universe.
And Sasuke knew how it felt to lose your family. Far very well. And Naruto had come to learn about this, too. At those very thoughts, he couldnt help the whip of regret that agitated his heart for some seconds but he regained his cold composure, pushing back the tears that had reached his eyes before. He didnt need to be weak now. No, not in front of Naruto who had betrayed him too, in some sense. With Konoha having betrayed him and Naruto being its hokage, it was hard for Sasuke not to think of Naruto as a traitor in his eyes too. He had tried to suppress this thought in the past but it kept creeping up and now it was too late to control it.
Am I... did I-i imagine it?' I wish... I wish I d-did.
Sasuke's eyes teared up again at those words. Oh how much did Naruto's reactions remind him of his own. Even if he longed for himself to be able and thrive into Naruto's misery, he couldnt. Instead he felt a hint of pain, and he cursed himself because he desired more than anything to eliminate such frivolities like feelings.
But it seemed as with Naruto, it was impossible.
And it was the second time he had come to realize this. He did have a soft spot for the blonde, no matter how tough he tried to seem to everyone else.
Those words were his own thoughts, more or less, the immediate days that followed after his clan's assault, when he was dealing with his own nightmares and illusions, not really wanting to believe what had happened to him, what had happened to them.
His eyes softened up as he knelt down next to Naruto.
He put a hesitant trembling hand on the blonde's shoulder and squished the spot weakly.
''I…'' he sighed, ''…I am sorry for your pain even if I am the main cause of it but I am sure you have already guessed that. I came here to tell you that you are under my guardianship. It's ok if you dont think you need a medic nin. I will order them to bring you to my room so I can take care of you, personally.''he whispered as he fought the intense desire to lean more onto the blonde and rest his tired head on his.
But he never did, he only waited for Naruto to look back into his eyes or snap at him and hit him. He didnt care at this point, his dominating thoughts were those of him trying to fight back the sporadic storms of regret that stang his heart at the sight that the blonde was presenting right now: broken and scared.
Bringing the blonde into his dorms would be a smart idea, as he'd be able to control him and get in the same time the information he needed to. He knew Naruto still had feelings for him, he could easily read him. It might be a slow process but he'd try to gain his trust again, even if it seemed impossible (even if justly so) at the moment.
R&R? Plox? Hahahaha =P
Next chapter's preview:
Title: Broken
''''Don't talk like that. That's not like you at all.'' He says, trying to mask the hurt that underlines his tired voice. And he succeeds, from his own point of view ,at least.''
