"Well, she wasn't very bright and I should know. She just kept staring up at me all slackjawed and looking dumb founded. 'Oh my word, a talking Scarecrow.' And she has that damn little rat of hers in her arms. She looks at it and says, 'Toto, did you ever see such a thing?' Mind you this is not a Dog that can talk. Or do much of anything useful, for that matter."
One of the novices laughed at this. Elphaba whipped her head around and gave her a sharp look. Three of them were gathered around her Fiyero. Pious, my ass, she fumed. The little coquettes were practically fawning all over him. Her eyes blazed with barely checked fury. She'd break every bone in their bodies before she let them put their filthy little paws on him. And she had just the spell to do it with too.
"It had a look about it that said if she let it go, it would come right over and christen my pole. I tell you, if I had been given the chance I would have dropped kicked the little menace into the next field."
This recieved giggles all around. Elphaba grinned at all of them, revealing her sharpened teeth.
"Of course, I was so glad to be free of the pole that I would have told her anything if she would just help me get down. It was terribly boring up there. But truth be told I had no intention of having an audience with the wizard. I kept looking for some way to give her the slip. As I said, she wasn't very bright. I figured it would be fairly easy but you can always count on the foolish to act as such."
One of the girls leaned forward and touched his arm. Elphaba nearly cursed her then and there. "What did she do?"
"Well, we had come up on this abandoned apple orchard and who should we run into but my old buddy Boq."
"Isn't that a good thing," one of them asked innocently. A little too innocently. Elphaba contemplated making all her teeth and hair fall out, her skin suddenly break out in boils.
"No. The guy is a complete maniac. I kept trying to tell her to leave him be. It's best that he stay up there where he is. Let him rust." He gave Elphaba a look at this point. "What's worse is that someone had to go and make him pretty well invincible." She bristled and looked murderous.
"Anyway, Dorothy goes ahead and starts oiling him up. A pox on the man who left the oil can for her to find. And now I know I'm stuck. I tell you what, it's a good thing a Scarecrow doesn't need his sleep. Left to his own devices, he'd have slaughtered her and Brr in their sleep. It was all down to me to make sure he didn't go and do just that. I was terrified for the two of them."
"Brr? Who's that?"
"Oh right, Brr was the lion who went with us. Cowardly they call him, but not I. I know more about him and how he came to be than he does. But that is a story for another day. Elphie looks about ready to foam at the mouth and I'm sure I can't imagine why."
"Hazard at a guess," she snarled, through clenched teeth.
He looked around at the three girls. "Can you give us some privacy? If it's not too much trouble?" One by one they flitted away.
As soon as they were gone, Elphaba smacked him on the arm.
"Hey! A little respect for the injured party."
"What exactly do you call yourself doing? You want us to get kicked out of here for lewd behavior? Or do you just want me to murder you in your sleep?"
"What did I do?"
"Oh, Mr. Fiyero...oh your so handsome. Come and share my bed and we shall make many children."
He laughed and shook his head. Big mistake. "It's not like that at all," he said, reaching for her arm. She snatched it back, jumping to her feet and storming away.
Liir dozed under the shade of a pearlfruit tree. Or was trying to.
Candle was closeby him, playing her domingon. The middle string had sprung and now there was a frightful dissonance. Had there been any magic to be done it would have failed utterly or been twisted in it's purpose. But today she was just a girl and it was just a domingon.
However, it was not without effect. Liir raised his head and glowered at her. He picked a softened pearlfruit from the ground and lobbed it at her. She ducked her head and it soared over. She said nothing at the injustice but moved over to the other side of the tree. She returned to her playing. He snarled a variety of obscenities at her.
Mother Yackle crossed the yard, jabbering to herself and waving her arms about in a wild manner. Mad they called her. Well, by the Unnamed One, she'd give them a reason to.
She stopped by Liir's resting place and stared at him blatantly. He tried, unsuccesssfully, for several minutes to ignore her. Eventually, he had to look.
She swept into as deep of a bow as her arthritic joints would allow. "Behold, son of the mighty. The famed lines of Thropp and Tigelaar come together in a single progeny. Heir to the noblest of families. Your ancestors shall applaud your magnificence, kind sir." Surly youth that he was, the mocking irony in her voice was almost lost on him. Almost. He scowled at her. She laughed, or began to choke. Which one was nigh impossible to discern given her advanced age. He decided that it must have been the former as she went on her way. Far, far away from him he hoped.
Elphaba was still in a foul mood. She and Fiyero had left the yard and returned to the mauntery.
"I suppose that you haven't go a plan for what you're going to do when you leave this place?"
"I do actually. My new identity will be Euric Xezzix."
She sneered at the name. "Xezzix?"
"It's a common enough name among the Vinkus. But not so common that someone will realize that we are not who we say we are."
We? "Shocking that you've actually thought something through for once."
He ignored her jibe. "What about you? You given any thought to a name for yourself?"
She paused to consider. "Neese. My sister was an honorable woman, it's the least I can do for her memory."
Fiyero looked thoughtful. "Neese Xezzix. Has a nice ring to it."
She raised an eyebrow. "Who says I'm to be your wife?"
"Well, if you'd prefer to be my travelling concubine..."
"I made a life for myself here, once before. I can conform to this lifestyle easily enough."
Sometimes it was impossible to tell if she were joking or not. This was one of those times. He let it go anyway. Give her a minute to cool down and we'll see if she really means it.
It worked as it usually did. "Suppose I was to accompany you, what then? You've been 'dead' for nearly two decades. Most people won't recognize you. Whereas I am still fresh in many memories."
"Well, Yackle, oracle that she is, knew that we would be coming before we even knew. She set Sister Weaver and Sister Spindle to work on a veil for you. It goes all the way to the floor. I've seen it."
She gave him an incredulous look. "A veil? That's not very practical."
"Convenient though."
"Maybe for you. You won't be wearing it. A veil will snag on bramble. Will it cover my feet? And what of bathing? I cannot wear it while doing so. What if someone stumbles upon me and then the jig is up."
"Why must you always be so difficult?"
What? Fiyero finally losing his patience? Elphaba smiled wryly at the concept. "I am only being realistic."
He groaned. "I'm tired now. You have a skin condition that causes you to burn in the sun hence the need for the veil. I'm going to sleep, don't bother me anymore about it."