CHAPTER EIGHTEEN:
Christine POV

I finished putting on the wedding dress Erik forced upon me and stepped out of his bedroom. He stood before the dummy of me, staring at the glittering ring in his palm. It was gorgeous, I had to admit, but I simply couldn't think of that.

Marrying him wasn't the thing I was worried about, it wasn't even a threat. I was more upset that both Raoul and Erik were treating me like a prize, a trophy to win and brag about to each other. I did not want to be thrown about so easily.

"Have you gorged yourself at last in your lust for blood?" He did not reply, staring at me with cold eyes.

"Am I now to be prey to your lust for flesh?" He stepped towards me, the hand that held the ring curled into a fist.

"That fate which condemns me to wallow in blood has also denied me the joys of the flesh." He reached for my cheek, but I turned away from him so he wouldn't catch the look of pity filling my eyes. He settled for stroking a lock of my hair that had been let down and I felt myself tremble. Stay strong…

"This face… the infection that poisons our love," he whispered and I looked over at his despairing expression that nearly broke my flimsy resolve. It was not his fault that this love was so difficult. If I hadn't been so stupid, if I hadn't betrayed him so many times!

"This face, which earned a mother's fear and loathing," he murmured, moving over behind me to the disassembled dummy. I didn't look at him. I was sure I would burst into tears if I did.

"A mask, my first unfeeling scrap of clothing." I felt a band embed itself in my hair, and I looked down, knowing it was the wedding veil. He came around in front of me.

"Pity comes too late! Turn around and face your fate. An eternity of this~" He pointed at his face, "Before your eyes."

Didn't he understand that his face didn't bother me? Yes, it wasn't the handsomest face in Paris, but it certainly wasn't something to be repulsed by, at least now that I had seen it once or twice.

He took my hand in both of his, and placed the sparkling ring in the middle of my palm. He folded my fingers around it, more gently than he had been a minute before. I wished I could answer him without hurting his fragile heart more than I already had, but I found there was no reply to his proposal. Instead, I pulled the veil from my head and walked to a mirror that was covered by a sheet.

"This haunted face holds no horror for me now. It's in your soul that the true distortion lies," I told him as gently as I could. I could change that distortion. Erik was not as bloodthirsty as many thought, and did not kill for just the sake of killing. I just had to get his temper under control.

He looked away from me and over to the gate.

"Wait, I think my dear, we have guests!" he told me, wicked glee electrifying his gaze. I looked over at the gate and saw both Raoul and Meg clinging to the bars.

"Meg! Raoul!" I cried horrified, running forwards. Meg forced a smile, which came out as more of a grimace. I gestured for her to go, but she shook her head.

"I'm not deserting you again," she promised, filling me with bittersweet gratefulness. Erik seemed to ignore Meg for the time being, turning all his attentions to Raoul.

"Sir, this is indeed an unparalleled delight! I had rather hoped that you would come and now my wish comes true. You have truly made my night!" He had walked down the stairs to where I stood, and put his arm, in a very husband-like way, around me. I gasped with surprise and struggled away.

"Let me go," I hissed, swatting his hand. This was not the time and place for affection. Meg lunged forward at the bars, much more protective than Raoul.

"Free her! Do what you like only free her!" Meg cried, reaching through the bars at me and I reached back for a moment. Raoul obviously did not like to be left out of this plight.

"Have you no pity?" he added, for good measure. Erik simply released me from under his arm and gave me a dry look. I resisted the urge to return it.

"Your lover makes a passionate plea," he muttered, although it had been Meg doing most of the pleading.

"Please, Meg it's useless. You too, Raoul," I added, for he had been making attempts to beg Erik, though not very good ones. Meg seemed very desperate for my freedom at this point.

"She's my best friend! I love her like a sister! Does that mean nothing? I love her!" Meg shouted at him bravely, and Raoul nodded as Erik turned his gaze back to me, which I avoided at all costs.

"Yes, show some compassion!" Raoul yelled, getting a bit overconfident.

Erik rounded on him angrily.

"The world showed no compassion to me!" he growled back, silencing Raoul for the time being. I resisted the urge to comfort him. I could give Erik compassion, but he certainly wasn't making it easy.

Meg was in tears and literally hung off the bars. I felt sorry for her. Erik would not listen to her cries.

"Christine, Christine!" she called, beating at the portcullis with her frail hands. Raoul looked up at Erik who had walked to a nearby lever.

"May I see her?" Raoul asked, which I thought was a foolish question. There wasn't a chance in the world that Erik would let him in.

To my greatest surprise, Erik hissed, "Be my guest, sir," and pulled the lever.

The gate slowly began to rise and Meg darted under the ascending spikes and into the lair. Raoul however, took his sweet time, walking in, as if it were his own home.

Meg nearly ran into Erik in her haste and backed up sufficiently, flattening herself against a wall. He had no eyes for her though, his gaze on Raoul, so focused I thought a hole would burn through Raoul's thick head.

I could tell Erik hadn't let him in without good reason. It was never this simple.

He spread his arms in a mockingly hospitable way that Raoul did not see as he strode through the water to meet him.

"Monsieur, I bid you welcome. Did you think that I would harm her? Why should I make her pay for the sins which are yours?" Erik reached down in the water as the portcullis shut behind Raoul who turned to look behind him.

Meg, who had surmised she wouldn't be targeted just yet, skittered over to me, but stopped dead as I gasped.

Behind her, Erik had lifted a Punjab Lasso from the water and was now throttling Raoul violently with it as he tied him to the metal gate. Meg screamed and ran over to me, clutching onto my waist tightly. I held onto her as Erik bellowed at Raoul so loudly it rattled my eardrums from across the room.

"Order your fine horses now! Raise up your hand to the level of your eyes! Nothing can save you now, except perhaps Christine!" He had finished binding Raoul and now turned on me as savagely as a wild dog. Meg fluttered away from my side and cowered on the steps beside me, but I stayed put, allowing him to scream his heart out at me.

"Start a new life with me! Buy his freedom with your love! Refuse me and you send your lover to his death! This is the choice~ this is the point of no return!" he thundered, looking completely insane at this point.

There was silence between us, broken only by Raoul's pants and Meg's whimpers. She tried to scurry down the stairs, but Erik stopped her with a point of his finger.

"You, Miss Giry, will stay right there," he told her, deadly serious, and she obeyed, sinking to a sitting position fearfully. His gaze flickered back to me. I shook my head, a look of horrified shock still written across it.

"The tears I might have shed for your dark fate grow cold and turn to tears of hate!" I hated that he had forced me into this situation. If I chose him, he would only believe that it was to save Raoul. And if I chose otherwise, he would kill Raoul. The Erik that had once been there would not have put me through this. Why couldn't he come back?

Raoul said something, but my thoughts over took it, and I felt a few tears fall down my cheeks. I brushed them away angrily. I would not cry again!

"Say you love him and my life is over!" Raoul yelled at me.

That makes my choice much easier, I thought bitterly, and I looked at Meg who still watched Erik tie a new rope around Raoul's neck so he could strangle him more gruesomely if need be.

"For either way you choose you cannot win!" Both my lovers sang to me, one full of rage, the other scared to death. I could not blame Raoul.

Inside, I knew no matter what I chose I would regret it. Again it would be my fault. Always my fault!

"So do you end your days with me? Or do you send him to his grave?" Erik emphasized the latter word as he gave Raoul a taste of what might come. Raoul screamed quite pathetically as the rope tightened around his neck.

"Why make her lie to you to save me?" he growled in response, as Erik strode away spitefully. I was not sure if that was true. Would it be lying to Erik if I told him I loved him? Was it possible that I felt nothing for Erik? Or did I love both of them?

"Angel of Music, you deceived me," I sang to him. He had deceived me, but did it really matter any more?

"His life is now the prize which you must earn!" he roared at me, speaking the first fact of the night. Yes, I had to earn Raoul's life, but was the life I put myself into worth it?

"Don't throw away your life for my sake!" Raoul cried, but as Erik looked away from him, Raoul mouthed, "Throw it away."

I looked at him in shock. What was he saying? But the words were gone and were being replaced by fully formed ones.

"I fought so hard to free you," he pleaded with me. I bit my cheek. Meg had fought much harder than Raoul had and he wanted to give away my life for his?

"You've past the point of no return," Erik murmured, softer than he had before. I dared to think the angel in him had returned, but with a quick glance I knew it hadn't.

"Angel of Music, you deceived me. I gave my mind blindly," I whispered.

He had kept me quite safe, considering I had stumbled into his world so violently. Though I had been blind, masked by darkness, the view with Erik hadn't been terrible. Every time I was with him, my fears disappeared. I didn't sit alone crying, or shaking with anxiety. I would be calm, even happy. All I wanted was to be that happy again. Would I still be with Erik?

"You try my patience. Make your choice!" he growled, an irked smile on his lips.

Slowly, I looked at Meg, whose eyes were as full of wonder, like a child in a candy store, but not in a happy sort of way. I wasn't surprised that she was quivering slightly. I certainly was.

"I'm sorry," I mouthed and her expression fell, knowing what I meant. She made to stand up but I shook my head and she remained sitting, though tears now fell from her blue eyes.

I looked over into the other pair of blue eyes in the room. Raoul widened his eyes in a "get on with it" sort of way, and I couldn't believe how selfish he was. He was on the brink of death, and still had it in him to order me around!

Still, I knew could not bring myself to dispose of a human life, though the aspect was beginning to seem preferable.

I gave Raoul a little grimace, which he tried to return, but coughed up phlegm instead.

I looked into Erik's brilliantly green eyes. With a jolt, I realized something other than fury was within his gaze. Deep, deep inside the enigma of his eyes, everything was clear.

Erik hadn't changed. After everything I had put him through, his heart surely torn into a thousand pieces by now, he still loved me as passionately as the night we first met.

And I still loved Erik.

Slowly, I began to walk towards him, allowing all of my pity to seep into my gaze and roll down my cheeks in tears. He deserved every drop.

"Pitiful creature of darkness, what kind of life have you known?" As I approached him, he became less and less guarded, until he was as vulnerable as any child. His grip on the lasso was loosening slightly.

"God, give me courage to show you, you are not alone!" Taking the ring out of my hand, I slid it onto my finger just before I reached him. Leaning close to his face, that beautiful face, I caught his lips in mine, kissing him for what I knew was the very first time in his life. He was stunned for a moment, simply letting me kiss him, before returning the kiss with equal desire, so much that my knees nearly buckled.

It was one kiss, not a very monumental moment in any average life. Raoul and I had exchanged many kisses, and I had not given them so much as a second thought. But this was different, and we both knew it wasn't simply a kiss.

In Erik's arms, I felt safe. I knew he would accept me for what I was, even if it was a clumsy little girl. I would not be hurt for my natural flaws and imperfections, and I wouldn't hurt him. I suddenly realized my feelings for him were not pity.

I loved him.

I pulled back, looking into his eyes again.

My angel was back, and he looked so full of ecstasy that I could not resist kissing him again. I found that this time I could kiss him more earnestly than before, and deepened it further than I thought I could.

I did not regret my choice. I was no prisoner, quite the opposite. Here in his arms, Erik and I were one.

We had both changed. He was no longer the dreaded Opera Ghost, bent on causing destruction and terrorizing every last being that dared set foot on his domain, and I was not the subdued, innocent damsel who could be thrown around without protest. Our masks were gone, and now there was only one role for us to play.

We were Erik and Christine, and would be forever.

We broke apart and I looked into his eyes. I was ready now, no qualms stood in my way. Father may have wanted me to marry Raoul, but I was willing to forsake that commitment for my love with Erik to prosper.

I found, however, that he was crying, and not with joy. For a moment, I didn't say anything, concern silencing me. I could not take his despair any longer.

"Erik…? Wh- Erik…" He pulled away from me and I felt my smile fall. Something was wrong.

I tried to follow, but he pushed me away. Around us, the sounds of a mob echoed, but I still didn't realize what the meaning of this was.

"Take her, forget me. Forget all of this!" he urged, walking away. I looked around at him, feeling tears fall down my face as they did on his. I watched him go for a moment in confusion, before someone took my arm. I looked over to see Meg standing beside me.

"He's letting you go," she murmured gently, somehow understanding at least a little of the turmoil I was in. I looked back to Erik.

"No," I breathed, unable to contain the word that burned through my mind.

"Leave me alone. Forget all you've seen!" I would never leave him alone ever again. He would not live without me, or I without him. I made to run up the stairs after him, but Meg held me fast.

"Release Raoul first," she told me, "Then go to him." I nodded, seeing this was the best course of action.

I ran to where Raoul was, and slipped the rope up and off his neck. He drew in a great gasp of air, trying to breathe. I pulled the rest of the ropes looser until he wriggled free.

"Go now, don't let them find you!" Erik yelled from behind me. I would be with him in a moment. I first had to sort things out with Raoul.

"Take the boat, swear to me never to tell the secret you know of the Angel in Hell!"

I looked up at Raoul and he gave me an accusing stare.

"Why the hell did you kiss him?" he asked, and I was about to retort, but he threw me against him roughly in what appeared as an embrace but felt like a prison.

"Go now! Go now and leave me!" I heard Erik's voice cry out in anguish.

I grimaced and freed myself from Raoul.

"I have to go to him," I whispered, but he caught my wrist.

"You're not going anywhere, Little Lotte," he hissed, pulling me toward the gate. Meg's slim hands pushed us apart.

"She can do what she wants!" she barked at him, and I gave her a little smile.

"You don't mean you love him? Him? We have a betrothal, if you recall?" I paused for a moment, looking down. He was right.

"Father won't be happy if you refuse me, will he? He'll never love you!" he told me and I felt a sob choke me slightly. I swallowed it as Meg clenched her fists.

"Don't listen to him, Christine, don't listen!" But I had already listened.

"It's your choice, Christine!" I looked at Meg, my father's last words ringing in my ear and in the cavern.

It was my choice.

I looked to Raoul, outraged realization seeping through my veins.

"You lied. He never betrothed me to anyone. You lied," I whispered, feeling used. All those beatings I had taken, thinking my father had chosen this for me, and it had been a lie!

He gave me a wry little smile, which sent fiery blood coursing through me.

"It landed me a betrothal with you, and I'm not going to allow you to back out on me now, Lotte," he snapped, dragging me to the portcullis. I slapped him across the face.

"You bastard!" I snarled, as he fell back into the water, with a loud splash. He attempted to stand, but Meg jumped on top of him, pinning him to the ground.

"I'll hold him for as long as I can. Go!" she cried, pulling his shirt over his head to hinder his vision.

I nodded, wading quickly through the lake and climbing onto the shore.

Pausing at the bottom, I looked back at where Meg and Raoul struggled. Meg was dousing Raoul with water, yelling, "That's for my best friend, you stupid fop!"

I looked up the stairs at the open door. Soft sobbing could be heard from within. I looked up to the ceiling, but was seeing far beyond that.

This is my decision, Papa, I thought, and stepped up the stairs to Erik's bedroom.