Greatest Demonhood
A.N.- Sorry for taking so long on this update, but getting back to school has kinda interrupted my fanfiction time, but I *hope* that has been remedied... at least for now...
Chapter 5: Meet the new "Guidance Counselor"
"Say uncle!" Raspberyl's father said, evidently very bored as he squeezed just a little tighter.
"UNCLE! UNCLE, GOD DAMN YOU! I'VE ALREADY SAID IT 17 TIMES!" Mr. Redshirt screamed in mixed pain and fury as he futily struggled to get free.
"Man, you're so boring; at least TRY to fight back." Raspberyl's Father yawned, finally releasing his grip on Mr. Redshirt's arm so he could light a fresh cigarette.
"I HAVE been trying to fight back!" Mr. Redshirt yelled furiously, then he rolled over on the steel cafeteria table, rubbing his many wounds tenderly as he moaned in pain.
"Are we on the same page now? You will do everything in your apparantly miniscule power to prevent any form of delinquency from taking root in this school, other than the few that I have already listed to you-"
"I KNOW! I agreed to that before you broke my legs!" Mr. Redshirt groaned, having already heard these terms many times.
"-AND you will do everything I say, as if it came straight from the late Overlord." Raspberyl's Father said smugly- this was apparantly the term of conflict, which the two demons have been quite civilly debating for the past 3 hours; most of the 'dabates' involved various motions from Raspberyl's Father and various sounds that sounded distinctly like bones breaking from Mr. Redshirt.
"Not as long as I breathe..." Mr. Redshirt managed to say, ironically between deep breaths as he covering himself for the inevitable punishment he would soon receive.
"Is that the problem, Your loud breathing is making it hard for you to listen to my orders? Certainly I can fix that- I could tear out your lungs for no charge; I can even make them into a pair of maracas!" Raspberyl's Father said, his words dripping with sadistic anticipation.
"Like it matters... just kill me, it's not like anything you've done can hurt me any more than you already have..."
"Oh, don't be so sure of that! Always remember that the nurse can heal any sort of grevious injury and even bring you back from death- so don't think that this will ever be done until you agree to my terms." Raspberyl's Father sneered.
Mr. Redshirt offered no coherent form of reply or argument to that, all he could do was groan in pain, so Raspberyl's Father continued with his interrogation.
"What is so bad about taking orders from me anyways? You used to take orders from the old overlord without so much fuss, what's so different about me?" Raspberyl's Father asked in a much softer tone, sitting down on the table next to where the bloodied and beaten Mr. Redshirt lay.
"Well-"
"LIAR!" Raspberyl's father yelled, spitting into Mr. Redshirt's face in the process.
"What?"
"Sorry, force of habit when talking to demons; so you'll serve me unconditionally?"
Something evidently dawned upon Mr. Redshirt- he wasn't possibly going to get out of this quickly and painlessly unless he actually agreed, and why he was being so stubborn on this issue was a mystery to even himself- he full well knew that this venerated demon was just a stone's throw away from omnipotence, so why bother sailing against a tidal wave?
"Fine, if you stop hurting me... I'll serve you..." Mr. Redshirt managed to gasp.
"FINALLY! I'd ask if it was so hard, but I know it wasn't- for me, at least; for you, on the other hand, it must've been terribly painful... and since we've got another 6 hours before the academy opens again, you might need some sleep, so I'll kindly leave you here- later!" Raspberyl's Father said as he quickly fled the scene.
"Ugh... finally... a chance... to rest..." Mr. Redshirt sighed happily as he remained totally still on the cafeteria table- moving was just too painful.
Later the next day...
"STOP! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLEASE STOP!" The demon soldier cried as Raspberyl's Father laughed maniacally, blood had already stained his bare hands after the beating he gave the student, and the screams for mercy had only fueled his desire for torture.
"What an odd demon you are, calling for help from a god that actually loves his disciples- you sicken me, delinquent." Raspberyl's Father said, saying 'delinquent' with such disgust that he actually spit on the soldier when he said it.
"I'M NOT A DELINQUENT, I SWEAR!" The demon soldier cried, still desperate for mercy- he would receive none.
"Are you trying to lie to me? Now I don't think that my new vice-principal would LIE to me and accuse random innocent honor students of being delinquents so I don't cut parts of his face off and force him to bathe in salt as I sharpen more knives. Although on the other hand, you lying seems... paradoxical, since if you ARE indeed a delinquent and you're lying, that would be very honor student-like; on the other hand, if you are an honor student, then you're telling the truth- which is delinquent behavior. Either way I'm going to have to cut open your heart and see for myself- which cutting implement would you prefer: the guillotine blade aimed at your chest to make things go quicker, a very dull axe to prolong your suffering, or a traditional yet very trusty and rusty scalpel?" Raspberyl's Father asked, he simply couldn't decide, so he just lit a new cigarette and waited for his victim to decide for him.
"I DON'T WANNA DIE! PLEASE DON'T DO THIS!"
"Like all of my classes back when I was back in school, I skipped the class on 'mercy'- actually, I think I burned the 'mercy' classroom down after throwing a candle into the Christmas tree and using the teacher as extra kindling- so.. which tool would you prefer again?"
"NONE!"
"What a great idea! I'll just use my bare hands to rip your heart out! What a smart student you are, clearly you are a delinquent that actually studies for their classes- have you recently read my thesis on improvised torture? It is very enlightening in the ways of brutal interrogation and eventual execution using only everyday tools- like screwdrivers and paper clips. Don't worry too much- obviously I'm a professional at this, so rest assured that this will be extremely painful to the point which oyu will wish for death, but of course just killing you would be no fun at all. Oh damn, I 'forgot' to get more surgical anesthetics; oh well, I'm sure you can suck it up."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"Yes, yes that's good, keep screaming! I'm going to carefully cut your liver in half using my fingernail- I need some entertainment or I'll get bored and move on straight to your heart! Would you like to see the ribs I already tore out of you 12 seconds ago? I'll use them as toothpicks later, so rest assured that your delinquent body will be recycled for later use!" Again he spit as he said 'delinquent', dropping his lit cigarette into the student's opened chest cavity in the process.
"Oops, now there's blood and other disgusting bodily fluids all over my cigarette! You should be disappointed in yourself for inconveniencing me so, delinquent." Raspberyl's Father said, lighting a new cigarette once he finished; the subject of torture offered no reply other than some gurgling and blood spurts from inside his opened chest cavity.
No one ever saw that student ever again, and rumor has it that the prinny janitor in charge of cleaning that room quit when he saw all the work he had to do- no one ever saw him again, either.
Later that same day...
"Have you got another list of delinquents for me to silence?" Raspberyl's Father asked Mr. Redshirt as he rudely barged into the 'office', which was actually just a large hole in the wall hollowed out which had a crudely hinged wooden door at the entrance. On the wooden door was a plate plastered in black paint, crudely spelling out 'Guidance Counselor' in big, black, ugly letters- it was specifically designed to prevent anyone from coming in for a visit- not that there was much to see on the inside, either. The interior of the room could not possibly be described properly without using the word 'dark'. The interior was a dark, cold, humid room hardly big enough for 2 people and a desk to fit in; if Kotter-sensei were to try and get in, everything inside would probably have to be moved out, or be crushed.
"A list? More like a book! The entire freshmen class is swarming with delinquents! You know how many freshmen delinquents there were just a month ago?"
"uh, 3- Kyoko Needleworker, Asuka Cranekick, and my daughter- I CAN count that high, you know." Raspberyl's Father said condescendingly, his impatience growing ever more obvious.
"Now there's over 400! It's disgusting: booster clubs, fundraisers for endangered animals, I think some of them got some kind of volunteer CPR class running- makes me sick seeing all of these blood drives running around, and all of the garbage is in trash cans now! I have the new list, but I can say for a fact that there's more of them out there, spreading their damn 'good ethics' crap about."
"I hope you have already realized that there is something more to this outburst than meets the eye. Although on the other hand, you clearly aren't very smart, so maybe you haven't figured it out yet." Raspberyl's Father said, and after guaging Mr. Redshirt's obvious bewilderment from his own reaction, he continued. "Surely you know there is more to this than just a fad of disobeying my authority, correct?" Raspberyl's Father asked as if he were talking to a child, Mr. Redshirt nodded blankly in reply, but offered no words.
"Then why are you here wasting both our times rather than FINDING THE DAMN SOURCE OF THIS DAMN PROBLEM YOU ******* IDIOT!"
Mr. Redshirt fled the dark room as quickly as his feet could carry him, leaving Raspberyl's Father all alone to contemplate how this may have happened.
2 weeks... just over 2 weeks and already the whole school is turning upside-down! All of these delinquents are suddenly crawling out of the floor! I think some serious re-education is necessary, and that damn PTA better be running at 200%, cuz if they aren't I'm gonna grind them into the floor and use their skulls as litter to draw out those damn delinquents!
I am not totally in the dark as to what is really happening here- I do know that there is a connection between Mao becoming Freshmen class leader and this sudden surge of delinquent activity- clearly whoever is behind this wants to provoke Mao, or at least make him angry. Motivation down, that just leaves the means of how it has been happening and who is behind all of this... well, no sense in staying here in my little hole in the wall- wow I'm glad I didn't say that out loud- I gotta get out there!
Just as Raspberyl's Father was about to leave, a messenger prinny barged into the dark room, looking quite rushed; rushed, but not panicked- as Raspberyl's Father would've preferred.
"A message and a letter for you, great demon dood!" The prinny said, the flimsy door crashing to the floor as he finished.
"Who is the letter from?" Raspberyl's Father verbally shot at the prinny, who froze in his steps right where he was- he dare not anger this demon, or all the past abuse he was given seem like a reward in comparison.
"It was given to me by a hooded guy wandering near Lord Mao's room- he seemed pretty otherworldly to me, dood, but he just asked me to deliver this to you, dood; so here I am."
"Very good, leave it on my desk- I will read it when I return; and what of the message you had for me..?" Raspberyl's Father ordered- he figured it was probably just some fanmail or something of that nature.
"I was told by an anonymous source that the delinquent brainwashing has been originating from the AV room!" The prinny said. Raspberyl's Father shot him a look of anger and impatience, as if he was expecting something more, that's when the prinny added: "Oh great demon among demons!"
"I will show my gratitude by allowing you to leave- now!" Raspberyl's Father bellowed, pointing the prinny out the door.
The prinny shuffled out, looking quite pleased with what had ocurred- at least he was still on one piece.
The AV room? So did they use some kind of... high-tech video hypnosis to turn the freshmen into delinquents? Probably not, demons aren't really that smart... or have such technology available... but humans, on the other hand...
hmm... I remember seeing a human here recently... yes... a hero, if I remember correctly... Alex was his name- yeah... Mao's slave...
I GOT IT! Obviously that hero is behind all of this brainwashing! Clearly he wants to turn the whole of the school into delinquents, who will in turn want to help the hero defeat whatever dark force needs defeating... meaning me, Mao, and whoever else isn't turned to delinquency; and after he defeats Mao, he can just waltz into Mao's heart unopposed and get his title back! clever, hero boy, clever; but I will stop you!
hmmm... what would be the most fitting death for this hero-boy? I think I could turn him inside-out, tear his heart into little bits and pieces and serve them to his friends and family back in the human world! Clever, myself, very clever- humans are sickened by the thought of cannabalism, and heroes are no exception to the rule!
"MUAHAHAHAHA! OH, HERO-BOY~ SUCH MODESTY YOU HAVE, A SHADY PLAN SO COY~ TODAY'S VICTORY MAY BE YOUR JOY~ BUT TOMORROW YOUR HEART IS MY BLOODY TOY!~" Raspberyl's Father bellowed in a sing-song. almost trance-like voice, quickly he snapped out of it and thought about what he had just said in retrospect. "Cool, that rhymes; I should be a poet! PREPARE TO DIE, HE-RO!"