Hey, guys!
First of all, thank you for the reviews, and also for the story alerts. I wasn´t sure of continuing, since the response has been kind of… small? (I, in no way, mean that I´m not like SUPERGRATEFUL for those who are sticking with me) But you make my day with your words, and for that, I´m still here.
The song for this chappie is "Will you still love me", from Chicago. It´s a classic, and I´ve always loved the lyrics. I had a hard time choosing, but I thought it fit. Again, you´re the judges…
"Booth", her knuckles turned white, but she used every last bit of her strength and with her most resolute voice she only said, "You shouldn´t be here".
Those were her first words to him when she opened the door, and every protective instinct he possessed kicked in full-gear. He didn´t even know why he was here, standing before her door, when he knew he had lost all rights to her when he decidedly gave up on the idea that she could, would finally allow herself to love him, but he couldn´t even start pretending that he could stay away from her, even if he was making a liar and a cheat out of himself.
He had been laughing and fooling around with Hannah until her cell phone had interrupted their playful time together. She had been following a lead on a case and her editor had just called her to let her know it was slipping away. One of the things he loved about her was her professionalism coupled with the way she knew how to lead herself around people. But her seriousness concerned him, and after calming her, they had stepped out of his office. He saw Charlie in the bullpen, and something in his expression told him that he wanted to speak to him, but without Hannah in the picture. So, using his every acting skill, he decided to reassure Hannah he needed to instruct Charlie with some pending things, and she just smiled and told him she would go to the ladies´ room while he dealt with business. He should have felt guilty, but his gut was telling him whatever Charlie had in store for him was important.
After seeing Hannah walk away, he determinedly walked towards Charlie, who pointed to a silent spot in the bullpen. It wasn´t that crowded since people were already starting to leave for the day, and he followed.
"Charlie, what is it?", he asked hurriedly, not wanting Hannah to find out should anything be wrong.
"It´s just… ", Charlie began, "Dr. Brennan told me to tell you that she knew you were… busy", Booth saw Charlie grimace a bit at the word, and frowned as he continued to listen, "And that you shouldn't worry about her, and that she would be taking a cab", Booth's frown deepened.
"Charlie, again, what is it?", Booth asked, his hurry disappearing in face of the concern he was starting to feel at Charlie's hesitation at saying something he sensed Booth didn't want to hear.
"May I… speak freely?", Charlie asked, and Booth nodded, "Dr. Brennan… If there was a word to describe her… It was sad. She looked sad. Booth, I know you're her partner, and that now we can all believe for real that there's nothing more than that between the two of you, since you're with Hannah… But… the way she spoke… I don't know, it didn´t… look like her at all. She's like a force of nature whenever she comes here, and now… Anyway, just wanted to give you the heads up… ", seeing Booth's expression, he hastily added, "Perhaps it was the case, it was awful, for everyone".
Booth sighed deeply, and he let a hand caress his jaw, his concern washing over him, even if he was most definitely trying to move on, he could never shut her out completely. He had cared for her, loved her, too long not to give in to his old tendencies. But he immediately schooled his features as he saw Hannah come his way.
He gave Charlie a reassuring smile, knowing how much Charlie cared for him, both as his immediate boss and a esteemed work friend, having just proved it, and replied, "Thanks, man", and trying to deflect his attention from the real possibility that there was something wrong between him and Bones, he added, "Don't worry. I know Bones, and it's probably that she's tired. You're right, this case was brutal, and it was the hardest of her, since she was the one to work on the bodies", Booth finished, and saw how the tension left Charlie's shoulders. He knew that Charlie had been on his team, and that deep inside, he had always rooted for him and Brennan. If he only knew…
He had dropped Hannah at her newspaper, and he went home. He watched sports, ate some takeout. But no matter how hard he tried to deny it, the thought of something being wrong with her wouldn't just leave him. It wouldn't leave him sleep.
He had never lied to himself. And he had decided he never would. It was one of the lessons he had learned when dealing with his gambling, and he had learned it the hard way. One of the steps in dealing with an addiction was to look yourself in the mirror, and accept who you were, and how you felt. It helped you see if you were moving forward, or accept the drawbacks when you fell. It was how you moved on, how you became a better person, how you dealt with the ghost of your addiction.
He cared for Hannah. Every day in her presence healed him just a little bit more, but every single time he stared into those bottomless blue eyes, he confirmed a part of him would always be hers, even if she didn't care, even if she hadn't been willing to try.
So, it was with this myriad of thoughts that he had drove to her place. The doorman knew him, so they had just shared polite greeting and he had ridden the way to her place in the elevator.
As he walked the soft carpeted rug that led to her front door, he didn't even know how he was going to approach the subject of him being here, but as he got closer, he could hear the distinct sounds of music playing. He knew it wasn´t something she did regularly, preferring the silence, but there was something that touched him. It was the inherent sadness in the lyrics of every single song, and his eyes widened when he noticed that as he was about to knock on her door, a sound that sounded very much like crying reached his ears.
He shook his head, thinking it was his tired, feverish imagination, but when he stood right beside the door, he couldn't deny it: his Bones was definitely inside, and she was crying like he never thought he would hear. He was so used to the confident, strong personality of his partner than thinking she was breaking down, that she was so hurt she was crying so brokenheartedly with no one to comfort her was more than he could bear, so throwing caution to the wind, he knocked softly.
His sniper-sharp hearing instantly picked up that she had stopped crying, and the music stopped. He could hear her padding towards the door, and stopping for a few moments, he assumed gathering herself. He knew she would never expect it to be him, and even less now that Hannah was in the picture, something that was confirmed when the soft sounds of the doorknob turning were replaced by the gush of wind when she opened the door.
She was in the same clothes he had seen her in at the Hoover, but they were a bit skewed. Her hair was in messy disarray, not the usual sleek style she was favoring since she had returned, but it was her eyes that undid him. They were swollen, bloodshot, and filled with such hurt and loneliness he wanted nothing more than to gather her into his arms until that look was replaced with the sparkle he loved.
But he could see how fast she was building her words as she muttered his name, followed by a "You shouldn´t be here". He could see how white her knuckles were as she gripped the door handle, as if holding on to it was giving her the balance she needed to stay upright. He wondered how long had she been crying, but from her face he knew it had been probably hours. It had taken him 2 hours to decide to come here, and it was almost midnight.
She raised an eyebrow, clearly waiting for an explanation for his presence at her doorstep.
"Hey, Bones. I just… wanted to check up on you", he knew it was a bit lame, but he hadn't been able to think of something better.
She sighed heavily, and gripped the door handle even tighter, "At almost midnight? I might not have much insight into human behavior, but I don´t think it´s appropriate anymore for you to drop unannounced, and least of all, at this hour", she said curtly. He didn't hold it against her, he would have probably reacted in the same way, above all when they both knew he could see how she truly was with her tear-streaked face.
"I'm your partner, Bones. I'm just worried about you", he said, and they held each other´s eyes before she lowered them for a second before raising them back again, all the tiredness and pain she felt clearly there for him to see.
"And while I appreciate your partner-like concern for me, things are different now", she said, and breathed in deeply before adding, "I… I don't think Hannah would appreciate it. In fact, I don't think it's the right thing for you to do… I would hate to be the cause behind a fight between the two of you", she stared into his eyes, and leaned on the doorframe, a bit more relaxed but still blocking his way into her place.
"Bones, you can't say that. It will always, always be right for me to be worried about you. And you…", he decided to risk it, "You can't tell me you're ok. I can see you are not ok", she lowered her head a bit, but he had already seen what he needed from her.
She raised her head again, and stared at him for long seconds, those blue eyes scanning him. There was no malice, no hatred behind her words, just ineffable heartbreak when she said, "Even if I'm not, I'm not your problem anymore, Booth. You should go home. I imagine Hannah will be waiting, and…", her eyes pooled with tears, "You shouldn't make her wait. It's… not you at all. I'll… deal with this, in the best way that I can. You have a life, Booth. Go live it", she said, and straightened her body, clearly her words a dismissal of him.
But in a second he knew he couldn't let her shut that door. He had let her do that so many times, and he had to let her know she wasn't alone. It was how she said, not that she would deal with it in the best way she knew, but in the best way she could, and that told him just how wrong things were. And his heart hurt in a way he had forgotten it could.
He grabbed the handle on his side, and shook his head, "Bones, you can't ask me to leave when I know here", even if he was risking her dismissing it, he rubbed his chest over his heart, "You need me. I can't leave you alone like this", he pleaded, and she shook her own head, staring sadly at him.
"You have other responsibilities. You shouldn't bother yourself with me. We… We have made choices, Booth. And… The lives we're leading… are the direct result of those decisions. Even if mine have turned out to be… ", she grimaced, "Anyway, I'm truly happy you're finding your way. I have been alone for more than half of my life, and I know… how to deal with my… issues. Please", she turned those eyes on him, and he was lost, "Don't risk getting into trouble with Hannah, because of me. It´s not worth it", she finished, and he applied a bit more force, and the door gave in a few inches, helping him close the distance between them.
"Bones, don't you get it? You'll always, always be worth it to me. Whatever's wrong… We can fix it", he said, and she scoffed tearfully.
"I don't know, Booth, if fixing it is possible, if… ¨we¨ even exists. Booth, we are no longer the center", that hurt more than his feet being broken, than a hot poker burning into his thigh, "We haven't been partner for very long, and I have already accepted", she sighed so heavily it was like she was having trouble breathing, "It's all my fault, for my fears, my inability to let myself go and trust… ", she pursed her lips, and said, "I can't tell you how much it calms me to know you're indeed moving on, and the only thing I want for you is happiness. And I hope Hannah is giving you the life you deserve", the one I can't give you, the one I lost the right to give, she could have added, but she stayed silent, seeing his eyes darken with something she couldn't read.
"Booth, I'm truly tired, and all I want right now is head to my bed and try to rest. I still have my part of the paperwork to fill and it's going to take me a while", she said, her voice soft and tired, "You should go home. Whatever happens, you shouldn't worry. Our work won't be affected", she finished, and moved her body to close the door. "Try and rest. Tell Hannah to give you a massage. The tension you probably accumulated in these days won't be good for your back. Sleep well, Booth", she said, and closed the door, leaving him there. It wasn't rude, but he felt like he hadn't said what he truly had wanted to say., like she had shut him out.
TAKE ME AS I AM
PUT YOUR HAND IN MINE NOW AND FOREVER
DARLING HERE I STAND, STAND BEFORE YOU NOW
DEEP INSIDE I ALWAYS KNEW
IT WAS YOU, YOU AND ME
TWO HEARTS DRAWN TOGETHER BOUND BY DESTINY
IT WAS YOU AND YOU FOR ME
EVERY ROAD LEADS TO YOUR DOOR
EVERY STEP I TAKE FOREVER MORE
He felt a wave of anger wash over him. Why was she always the one to make the choices in this… relationship they had? The first night, the night that wasn't, she made the call on them not sleeping together. She was the one to stage the mistletoe kiss, shattering the calm he had thought he found around her. Then she flaunted every single conquest in front of him, and when he decided to risk it all, she dismissed him.
He had had enough, he wouldn't continue to be the passive one. Her assertion that he was an alpha-male was about to be proven.
A minute or two had passed, and he knocked forcefully on her door. More like banged, but he wasn't about to care if he was polite. She would hear him. At last she would have to listen to him.
Some seconds passed before he felt her padding to the door, and he could see the surprise in her eyes as she saw it was him still, and her eyes widened even further when he walked forcefully pass her, and into her living room, his lungs filled with the scent he had missed so much, a scent that had been part of his dreams for very long.
"Booth, what…", he raised a hand, and his tensed posture was enough to halt her into silence.
"I came to say some things, Bones, and for once, you're going to listen to me", he said, and he could see the tension creeping in her body, how her own posture stiffened at his tone, but more, at his words.
She raised her chin, but it lacked her usual defiance, though he knew it was an attempt to regain her own self around him, "Then, speak, since it prompted you to barge into my place at midnight".
He sighed heavily, and before he knew it, the words had left his mouth, angry and filled with unmistakable pain, "Why are you shutting me out, Temperance?", he said, and she knew he meant business. Bones had become a term of endearment to them both, and him resorting to her given name meant he wasn't kidding around.
She just scoffed and shook her head, "I'm shutting YOU out?", she stared at him, "I wasn't the one that returned from the other side of the world with a little surprise, was I?", she said, and his posture stiffened even more.
"And what right do you have to question if I want someone in my life? I have a right to feel lonely, and Hannah happens to be an amazing woman, and she wants to be with me. I have a right to have someone want me", he said, his anger masking the pain he had carried ever since that night at the Hoover.
His words stung deeply, but if he wanted the truth, he would get it. "I'm not questioning your right to move on, Booth. You made it more than clear that you would find someone to move on with. But sorry if, at the risk of sounding very much like me, I have to say I have no idea why you're asking me these questions. If you're so pleased with your life, I see no reason for you to be here, instead of being… ", he could see her swallow, hard, "with her, in your apartment, in… your bed", she said.
"Because I fucking care, all right? Because when Charlie told me you didn't seem the same, that you didn't seem right when you left, I felt something here", he thumped his chest again as he nearly shouted, "And it hurt to think that I still have the heart to care about you", he replied, "Even if all you do is stomp over it, time and time again".
She heard the sadness in that last part, and her eyes brimmed with tears, "I just want to make something clear. You can't accuse me of not caring for you, Booth. My actions, or my decisions might have led you to think I don't, but you have been the most important person in my life ever since you became my partner", her voice was coming out broken, but she didn't mind. She was way past caring what he thought about her. If he was moving on, he would do so with all the facts.
"I won't have you leave tonight thinking I never cared, Booth. You were my only family. You were the shoulder I rested my head upon when the world came crashing down on me", her tears started to fall down her already blotched face, and through her eyes she could see his eyes start to fill with his own tears, "Until I came into my life, I didn't know how to trust someone. I have trusted you with my life. But I…", she wiped at her damp cheeks, and she didn't even notice, "I can't hold you back, Booth. I don't know how to love. It was… taken from me. I think you deserve my honesty, along with my pride. If you wanted to see me broken, you won", she said, her arms lying by her side, "I am broken. I'm your friend, and I want your happiness. And I know Hannah can make you happy in ways I don't even know how. I wouldn't even know how to live with myself knowing there are things I could never, ever give you".
He swallowed, "What makes you think that?", he said huskily, taking another unnoticed step closer to her. He was glad her distress was so obvious she didn't register the fact that he was closing the distance between them.
"I'm afraid, Booth. I'm afraid, because ever since that night", and she didn't even have to reference which night, since they painfully knew what she was talking about, "I've felt like I'm losing you. I'm afraid", she squeezed her eyes, and she gasped because when she opened them, he was right in front of her, not enough to feel his heat, but enough for him to reach out to her.
"Why?", he said, very much in the same desperate way he had spoken to her in front of the Hoover, "Why, Temperance? Tell me why. I beg you", he pleaded, and she started sobbing.
"You truly want to know why I´m shutting you out, Booth? You want to know why I left?", she stared into his eyes, pooling with tears, "Because I don't know how to be myself without you anymore. I don't know how to love, but when I left, the only reason I was able to sleep was pure exhaustion, because I couldn´t, couldn't", she said, her sobs controlled, but her voice broken, "Sleep thinking you were in danger. I asked myself if you hated me, if you felt I had made you lose your time. You gave me everything, and I felt like I only took, and took, and gave nothing back to you. I only…", she covered her face with her hands, "I only wanted your happiness", she said through them, "And I don't know if I could ever be what you needed", she sobbed even more, and she was startled as she felt warm, strong hands covering her biceps softly, but determinedly.
"Temperance… Bones", he started, "I never asked you to change who you were. I… The way you are is perfect to me", he said, but he was interrupted by her humorless laugh.
"But you did ask me to change, Booth. When I told you I was a scientist, and that I didn´t know how to change, you only said that then you needed to move on. If you knew me…", her voice trembled, "You would have known I was terrified of losing you, and I did. I did lose you Booth", she gave him that look that never failed to turn his heart into a quivering mass of melted flesh, "Andrew… he saw I wasn't ready to let him in, but you immediately opened to Catherine. And it hurt. I felt I was losing my best friend. I had to know I was risking the most important relationship of my life for the right reasons, but all I had were… ", she shook her head sadly, and sniffled.
"How can you tell me you didn't know why you were risking our friendship, our partnership for, Bones? You know how I feel", she shook her head stubbornly, and his grip on her arms kept her from backing away like she was itching to.
"I don't. You told me you believed we could give it a shot, that you knew. But I never knew what you had so clear in your head, in your heart, in your mind", she replied, her chest heaving with the tears and pain, "You know I don't understand you sometimes, and that night… I might have assumed you find me attractive, you did at the beginning, and you became my friend, so I know you care, but those weren´t reasons for me to risk what we had", she said brokenly.
Suddenly, a light bulb came in his head. He replayed that conversation, and he could have beaten himself to death. She was right. He had committed one unforgivable mistake, a mistake that had cost them a year apart, and both their hearts being broken.
"Temperance", he said, releasing one of her arms and tilted her chin so their eyes met, and she could see the depth of his feelings, "Don't you know I love you more than my life?"
JUST SAY YOU'LL LOVE ME FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE
I GOTTA LOT OF LOVE AND I DON'T WANT TO LET GO
WILL YOU STILL LOVE ME FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE?
CAUSE I CAN'T GO ON
NO, I CAN'T GO ON
I CAN'T GO ON
IF IM ON MY OWN
"What?", she squeaked out as he stared at her face like he was seeing her for the first time, "That´s not true. You´re with Hannah. You´re not a cheater. And… ", her following words just about broke his heart, "What is there, what was there for you to love?"
She gasped loudly as he surprised her when, with sharp reflexes and moves of a wild cat, he scooped her in his arms, and sat her on the counter of her kitchen, a surprised yelp leaving her lips as her buttocks came in contact with the cold marble.
"You don´t get it, do you, Temperance? I guess then I´ll have to explain it to you", he said as he tucked the wild strands of her hair behind her ears, so that he could stare into her face without obstructions, and she could see him as well.
TAKE ME AS I AM
PUT YOUR HEART IN MINE, STAY WITH ME FOREVER
CAUSE I AM JUST A MAN WHO NEVER UNDERSTOOD
I NEVER HAD A THING TO PROVE
TILL THERE WAS YOU
YOU AND ME
THEN IT ALL CAME CLEAR SO SUDDENLY
HOW CLOSE TO YOU THAT I WANNA BE
"Tessa, Rebecca, Cam… all the women in between… Catherine, Hannah…", he shook his head, and surprised her as he framed her face with his hands, keeping their eyes locked, "That night, under the rain, I told you I felt like we were going somewhere. My gut has saved my life more times than I care count, it never led me stray. And until now, it never has. The moment I saw you on that podium, the moment we shook hands, I knew I was changed. For good. I stopped gambling, because of YOU", her eyes widened, and filled with more tears at that piece of information, "You made me want to be a better man, for you. I wanted you to look at me and think, "Hey, I might want to spend my life with this man". I knew that behind your apparent coldness, your science and facts, there was a heart beating. And I cherished every time you showed it to me. Because I knew it was a privilege", he said, "I was in awe of you. You think there was nothing to love. I wish it had only been your body, which I have longed to touch ever since I saw you. I wish it had only been your lips, because I still can remember how they taste", he brushed the steady torrent of tears dampening her face, "I wish", he groaned now, "It was only your eyes, which have haunted me ever since I dreamed how it would feel like to watch myself into them", he pressed his forehead against hers, "knowing a mirror wouldn't stare so deeply into my soul. It wasn't your skin, which feels perfect under my fingers", he said, adding a caress of his thumbs to her jaw line, "It was you. I could see you. I saw the scared little girl your parents left behind, aching to be loved. I saw the fierce woman who fought for justice, for truth as strongly as I did. I saw the woman you hid behind your science, your squinty talk, your taunts about sex with other people", this brought a tearful chuckle from her, "which I didn't appreciate, if I might say. It was how much I wanted to show you you deserved to be loved, not used, not for pleasure. It was how I wanted to hold you in my arms, to make love to you, to show you that when you feel for someone what I feel for you, physics can be broken. It was to show you you could dream of happiness and get it, because I would, I could give it to you. It was to show you it was ok to open your heart, because I would never leave you. Temperance, my Bones, how can you think I stopped loving you?", he said, and he pressed the most loving, tender kiss against the skin of her forehead, "All I was begging you was to try and fight. I thought you didn't feel that way. All I wanted was for you to love me, and let me love you", he said against her skin, "All I wanted was for you to give me your fears so I could chase them away".
JUST SAY YOU'LL LOVE ME FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE
I GOTTA LOT OF LOVE AND I DON'T WANT TO LET GO
WILL YOU STILL LOVE ME FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE?
'CAUSE I CAN'T GO ON
NO, I CAN'T GO ON
I CAN'T GO ON
IF I'M ON MY OWN
"You're with Hannah, Booth", she said, trying to shake her head in the strong hold he had on her face, "And I've seen how happy she makes you. I don't, I can't take that away from you. She could love you more than I could. She knows how to love", she said, and he stepped between her partially open legs, and he moved one of his hands to the nape of her neck as the other traveled to his spot on the small of her back, hating that she seemed more fragile, that she had lost weight, probably because she hadn´t had him there to take care of her, cradling her head to the spot where his neck and shoulder met, like she was made to be there, the positions more fitting of lovers than of friends.
"Just answer me something, Temperance. Do you trust me still?", he asked, and he braced himself for the answer.
In the 2 seconds that followed he felt her stiffen for a bit before she relaxed completely in his embrace, and against the skin exposed by the undone buttons of his black dress shirt, she muttered, "Not still, Booth. Always".
DO YOU BELIEVE A LOVE COULD RUN SO STRONG?
DO YOU BELIEVE A LOVE COULD PASS YOU BY?
THERE WAS NO SPECIAL ONE FOR ME
I WAS THE LOVELY ONE, YOU SEE
BUT THEN MY HEART LOST ALL CONTROL
NOW YOU'RE ALL THAT I KNOW
"Then let me touch you. Let me show you what I see in you", he said, kissing her damp, clammy skin, "I don't, I have never wanted you to change. I just want to give you everything, to make you see that if you trust me enough to open your heart, I will give my life to make you happy. That night I screwed up, and I just realized it because I see that I only stroked your insecurities. Baby, I… ", he didn't even mind that he had let the term slip from his lips, "I thought you didn't trust me enough to open yourself to me, and please", he squeezed her body against his even tighter, her open legs cradling his hips, but there was nothing sexual about the embrace, it was only love, "forgive me, because I know I was too much of a coward, I was so busy protecting my heart I didn´t even see you were begging me to show you, like you have with everything else", he said, and his hands instantly started moving soothingly over her body.
"Booth, I don't know if I can promise you the 30, 40 years you want", she said brokenly, and he pressed another tender kiss against her as he replied.
"Do you trust me enough to teach you?", he waited for her answer, "You know how to love. You know how to care. This proves it to me. You´re not cold, or unfeeling. And knowing you have stepped to the side, and away from me, shows me you´re far from selfish. Baby, let me show you how happy you can be. Let me love you for the rest of our lives", he pleaded.
JUST SAY YOU'LL LOVE ME FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE
I GOTTA LOT OF LOVE AND I DON'T WANT TO LET GO
WILL YOU STILL LOVE ME FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE?
'CAUSE I CANT GO ON
NO, I CANT GO ON
I CANT GO ON
IF IM ON MY OWN
I CANT GO ON
NO, I CAN'T GO ON
'CAUSE I CAN´T GO ON
(WILL YOU STILL LOVE ME)
NO I CAN´T GO ON
(JUST SAY YOU´LL LOVE ME
STAY AROUND)
WITHOUT SOMEBODY
I CAN´T GO ON
CAUSE I CAN´T GO ON…
"Booth, I…", she raised her head and framed his face, his eyes filled with love and hope, all the silence, all the coldness towards her gone to be replaced only with warmth, "I want to", she said, her voice uncharacteristically small, "But… I can´t be with you… until you know if you truly want me", she placed her fingers against his lips, which he started to kiss, effectively halting his words, "There was a reason you were drawn to Hannah, and you need to figure out why. You need to figure out if you had given up on me, or if your feelings run deeper. You´re right. We can´t start something without opening ourselves fully. It was never, ever a matter of not wanting you, because I have never wanted a man more than I want you. And I don´t mean just sexually, even if it was what drew me to you at first. It was everything about you, Booth. You're the most important part of my life. But I need you to sort your life, your feelings. I don't want to barge into your life and disrupt everything again. If you think clearly, and you decided you still want this", she led one of his hands to her chest, "If you still want to bother trying with me, I promise you, I´ll be here, waiting. And I", she sighed, "Even if I don´t have the frame of reference to know if this is love, I don´t see it waning, or going away. So take your time, after all, you waited for me. It´s only fair I do the waiting now", she said, and repeated his action, making him bend his head a bit to press a loving kiss against his forehead.
And then she moved her lips to his ear, and whispered, like a caress, "I promise you, I won´t run from this anymore. You became my world, Booth. And no matter what happens, I´ll thank you for showing me I could be more than I was".
He squeezed her body tighter, knowing she was right. He needed to sort his feelings out. He had been happy with Hannah, and he did have deep feelings for her. She was anticipating the confusion he would feel with his past and present colliding, and she didn't want to interfere. She wanted him to come to her, with an open heart, willing to work, hand by hand.
"I don't want to leave you", he whispered back.
"We both know you have to. I won´t stand in the way of your happiness, and everyone has seen it. Hannah IS amazing, and she has given you something. You need time to know if I´m still what you envision in your future, and if you do, you need to come with a clean slate, so you feel you're not betraying yourself, or anyone for that matter", both knowing she was referring to him despising himself if he ever thought he had cheated on Hannah. "And whatever happens, happens", she said, and he nodded.
"It hurts to go, Bones. Everything you just said… I´ve wanted to hear it for so long", he said, and they finally straightened their bodies so their eyes locked.
"I know. And I will forever be sorry it took me so long to sort myself out, and for the pain it brought us both", he could see the sincerity in her eyes, and he caressed a strand of hair caressing her face.
"I'm not. I have always known I couldn't rush you. And that's all I want to do now", he said, and she caressed his jaw.
"But we know you won´t", she stated, and he nodded, smiling tiredly.
"Yeah, we both know I won't", he said, and they embraced, until their arms went numb. They didn't kiss, because it would have been wrong, and even unfair. But as he groaned when he extricated himself from her arms, like he was leaving something behind, there was a new promise if his heart, her heart and their realities finally found the timing that had always eluded them.
Until now.
I´m hiding already, and perhaps not what you expected, but rushing seemed too OOC to me. I know this ending is kind of open… It´s up to you if you want me to continue and lead them where we all want to see them… Did I make sense? (hehehe)
Anyway, please drop me a line to tell me if this is worth going on, or if you want me to stop… Musie will be thankful… And she´s a very grateful musie when stroked properly… (hihi)
Kidding. Your opinions and comments will be much appreciated. And I´m sorry for any mistakes. I wrote this non-stop and practically no rereading, so it´s all my fault!