Chapter 6: "Calm" Before the Storm

"... ... alive?"

"Nah... ... dead... see the blood?... leave him in a ditch or something... time..."

Ugh... voices... that means people to deal with... please just go away... just go away...

"Sir Mao... ... know this man? Certainly... we should ... help him."

"He means nothing to me... Beryl, on the other hand, knows him quite well- he is her father- or so I'm led to believe. As for... ... probably mugged him... left him to die."

"Lady Beryl? Is this true?"

"I don't wanna talk about it, let's just check to see if he's still alive."

Waking up from something in between a painful night's sleep and a coma, Raspberyl's Father had no clue where he was- nor what the odd taste in his mouth was, or why his head was pounding so hard, or what time or day it was- frankly, he didn't even know if he was still alive at this point, nor did he care, all he wanted was to make everything go away so he could sleep in peace.

"Ugh... Light... painful light... someone... turn out the lights..." Raspberyl's father said, not even opening his eyes to get an idea of his surroundings. In his borderline dead mind, he knew that there was someone- no, many someones surrounding him, but he didn't really care to open his eyes to find out.

"Oh, he's still alive." A familiar voice observed simply, sounding just a little disappointed.

"Shouldn't we help him, Lord Mao?" A voice that sounded distinctly like a cross between a human male and a mouse asked.

"I don't need help, I'm julsht flhine." Raspberyl's Father managed to gurgle semi-coherently, still trying to get that odd taste out of his mouth- this time by spitting whatever may have been in his mouth onto what may have either been the floor, the wall next to him, or someone's face.

"Did he just spit blood? That can't be healthy." A distinctly feminine and also very human voice stated.

Oh? A human I haven't yet tortured and/or dismembered? And a FEMALE no less? Ugh... I want to see her but to do that I'd have to... open my eyes! *dun dun DUUUUUUNNNN*

Before opening his eyes, Raspberyl's Father stood up and stretched his limbs. Then, taking a monumental effort to see this human female that has so far eluded his notice, he took about 30 seconds to open his eyes, and about another minute for his vision to focus his surroundings properly and relay said information to his brain, which wasn't totally alive at this point, but it was certainly trying to work like it was.

Vague colors and blurred shapes greeted his sight when he first opened his eyes. Very gradually the colors became more defined and the blurred shaped began to take more familiar forms of people. The first defined shape that Raspberyl's Father recognized was the familiar wooden-tan of the hallway walls; getting on to more specific shapes by slowly turning his head as to not blur the sights he had just begun to recognize, finally he could distinguish what vague shapes were people.

There were 4, at first. One he knew to be Mao simply by the glare from his glasses, a second was most likely his human hero-slave, Alex; the third was hopefully the human female whom he had never seen before, and the last was obviously Raspberyl, as only a father could know.

Raspberyl's Father walked toward Sapphire, or perhaps staggered would be more accurate. Sapphire cautiously took a few steps back until she backed into a wall; with Raspberyl's Father not 5 feet away, she stealthily placed her hand on her gun, just in case.

"You're a very pretty human girl; what is your name, pray tell?" Raspberyl's Father said in the most devilishly suave yet still plainly demonically cold voice he could muster as he lit his first cigarette for the morning- he figured one as obviously brave- probably to the point of aggressiveness- as her would still fear such a display, even if it was just acting- if all else failed, she would at least be driven back by the cigarette smoke.

"My name is Sapphire, sir- are you lady Beryl's father?" She asked back in a not at all scared voice- she seemed quite relaxed and disarmed rather than afraid, perhaps it was what he said and not how he said it that caused this unforseen attitude; either that or she was a lot braver than he had accounted for.

"I am, though I am quite surprised she didn't tell you that... detail." Raspberyl's Father said, turning his attention to his daughter and now just noticing that her lackeys that were beginning to become a thorn in his side were, as usual, right behind her. Raspberyl took a step back, but she didn't run away, as was expected- maybe his extended visit coupled with the fact that he hadn't abused her for several centuries made her a bit less cautious than before, though she certainly hadn't forgiven him.

Rivals helping rivals, how... cliche- whatever, it helps me since I can keep track of them both easier! I wonder who their homeroom teacher is...

"Well now that introductions are out of the way, may I ask what you all are doing here? And maybe where 'here' is?" Raspberyl's Father asked, lighting his second cigarette without throwing away his first.

"WE were going to the AV room- that room over there- to stop all of the brainwashing that is littering this school with delinquents!" Mao announced, as the self-proclaimed leader of the group, that was his job.

"Ah, how ironic that I'm here for the same reason- have you figured out who is behind it yet?" Raspberyl's Father asked, hardly making an effort to hide his excitement- he was just dying to get the drop on Almaz since he was clearly behind this brainwashing and any sort of logic proving otherwise was clearly a lie.

"No, finding that out obviously will come after we stop the brainwashing." Mao replied, speaking as if that were an obvious fact.

"Oh but where's the fun in that? I know who is behind all of the brainwashing- in fact, he's someone very close to you, Lord Mao." Raspberyl's Father said, grinning evilly toward Almaz, who returned his evil glare with a look of bewildered terror and a stealthy step backward.

Geoffrey appeared at that moment, curiously just as Raspberyl's Father finished.

"Young master, I urge you to move along and not listen to this man- clearly he is a just madman just trying to waste your time while pursuing his own agendas." Geoffrey said, leering toward Raspberyl's Father.

"Why thank you, oh most suspiscious man with ridiculously shaped facial hair- certainly I am a madman and I thank you for calling attention to it, and certainly I do waste other people's time and I very much enjoy doing it; but what you are wrong in is that often my agenda IS wasting other people's time- although right now I'm not quite wasting Lord Mao's time since he is actually getting something out of this meeting."

"As curious as your timing is, Geoffrey, I actually would like to hear what he has to say; and I also enjoy him saying 'Lord Mao'." Mao said giddily- the notion of a much stronger demon calling him 'Lord' made him feel just like an overlord.

Geoffrey sighed in disappointment and quickly teleported away- resigned that he couln't argue against such a powerful demon. At his departure, all eyes turned to Raspberyl's Father, all eager to hear who was behind all of the orderly chaos brought to Evil Academy- he would not disappoint.

"The one behind all of this is... Albert!" Raspberyl's Father said dramatically, throwing away both lit cigarettes just as he finished, but quickly lighting another fresh one- his audience was less than taken in by the drama since he got the name quite wrong.

"Uhhh, who? I don't know anyone named Albert you idiot!" Mao barked furiously- he was more upset than he should be, this was one of his two idols- everything dark and demonic he aspired to be like for the last 3 weeks- how could he be so stupid?

"Oh that's right, his name was... Al... uhh... Al... DAMN IT! You! Slave-boy! What was your name again?" Raspberyl's Father shot out- he didn't like looking like a fool in front of everybody, especially if it was caused by a human that wasn't a princess.

"Uhh Almaz sir; but you aren't trying to say that I'm behind this, are you?" Almaz asked, despite how obvious that it was that he was going to do exactly that.

"ALMAZ! Right, Almaz von... something... something else that also starts with 'A'- whatever! CLEARLY you are behind this, since it IS a hero's job to clean up places as rotten and litter-infested as the great Evil Academy; and you, sir, are a HERO! Or at least an aspiring one, which is just as bad!" Raspberyl's Father announced even more dramatically than earlier, this time some of the audience was actually taken in- some being Mao and only Mao.

"That makes logical sense to me! Almaz, do you have something to tell me?" Mao said through his grinding teeth- he was absolutely overflowing with anger. Despite the complete lack of logic or evidence that Raspberyl's Father put forth in his accusation, Mao was drawn in since heroes who arrived in crime-infested places ALWAYS turned them around into model neighborhoods- in other words, Raspberyl's Father won him over thorugh comic-book logic.

"What? That makes no sense! I haven't left your side long enough to do something like this... Lord Mao." Almaz cried, quickly figuring that the best course of action would be to appeal to Mao's ego as a master rather than normal logic- which probably wouldn't have worked.

"Hmmm, that also makes sense- coupled with the fact that you probably aren't smart enough to try something like this; do you have a response to this?" Mao asked Raspberyl's Father who had a pensive expression on, trying to consider the situation.

"Well, heroes don't lie- although on the other hand, you aren't much of a hero anymore... Or on some kind of mutated third hand, HUMANS do lie, and quite often... ALTHOUGH on some kind of even MORE mutated FOURTH hand, you aren't much of a human anymore, either... So where does that leave us? I'm kinda lost in that ocean of hands I just presented to myself in my flawed logic... BERYL!" Raspberyl's Father called unnecessarily loudly, since she was not 10 feet and 3 people away.

"Use your indoor voice please, father." Raspberyl said calmly as she maneuvered her way to the front- perhaps seeing her father vent his anger toward someone else calmed her, or maybe it was that because he deferred to her judgement in this situation she felt more at ease, or it may have been that since he was actually talking things out rather than just gutting Almaz with a rusty nail that made her feel more at ease- at any rate, she still referred to him as 'father'.

"Certainly- anyways, I need your assistance in a matter, assuming you answer this one. very. important. question." Raspberyl's Father said, allowing a moment for that to sink in before continuing. "You can Magichange, right?"

"Yeah, why?" Raspberyl asked, not at all afraid of her father for reasons even she couldn't fathom.

"Oh it doesn't really matter- wait... what weapon can you turn into?" Raspberyl's Father asked, knowingly contradicting himself in that sentence as he finally threw away his third cigarette and quickly lit his fourth to replace it.

"A sword- again, why?" Raspberyl asked again, putting more emphasis on the 'why?'.

"Again, Oh it doesn't really matter- now I must be going before nothing anyone says matters- AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN!" Raspberyl's Father said as he disappeared in a puff of smoke.

"What..?" Almaz voiced everyone's confusion about 30 seconds of silence after Raspberyl's Father left.

"He's quite the... colorful character- he's not very much like lady Beryl." Sapphire said, using this as an excuse to get closer to Raspberyl, maybe for a hug.

"How is he colorful? Everything he wears is black! His HAIR is black- he's the polar opposite of colorful!" Mao shot back- the notion that someone is 'colorful' means that they are normally pleasant to be around, and certainly not an honor-student idol- Mao had to defend him since he wasn't here to do it himself-... Uh... I mean if he knew that she had said that and Mao didn't defend him, Mao would be in serious trouble, so Mao defended Raspberyl's Father sorely for his own benefit.

"Maybe we should just go..?" Almaz suggested meekly.

"Fine, but only because I ordered it!" Mao said, and so they entered the AV room to face the source of the delinquent brainwashing...

Author's Note- I made up this extra scene that I decided to omit from the actual story; I thought it was quite amusing to write, and it kinda helps tell the story, but it was just too long of an off-topic argument that I took it out (AND I reference myself in a very insulting way), you can read it if you want, but it doesn't have an impact on the story- I made it kinda like the narration in the beginning of the story. if you're going to read it, enjoy!

"Have you ever wondered where the legends of powerful demons kidnapping beautiful human princesses originated? The source of these legends is none other than Raspberyl's Father. It all began many thousands of years ago, back when humans were curiously following kings and queens just because they said they should rule because their fathers did- long before Raspberyl, Mao, or even Raspberyl's Mother-"

"SHHHHH! Stop ruining the story flow! Telling my daughter about her mother is for later- don't let her ask questions now!"

"What are you talking about? What about my mother?"

"DAMN!"

"-were born. Raspberyl's Father had a particular lust for human women that were both beautiful and mortal- princesses in particular since actually getting to them was a challenge that made the reward all the sweeter. He preferred mortal princesses as opposed to demon princesses precisely because they were mortal, so he didn't have to live with them forever- only about 40 years with the average life expectancy back then- so they would die and he could kidnap a new human princess-"

"Ugh, that's disgusting! What's wrong with you?"

"It was just a phase... at least until I met-... *cough cough* Hey look over there! It's... a fly!"

"MAY I CONTINUE?"

"If it means that much to you; go ahead... rude."

"Thank you- Often his plans of kidnapping human princesses and bringing them to the netherworld of his current residence would go awry since weak-willed human girls that spend too much time in a Netherworld often become demons themselves- in which case he would just leave them behind and move on to another Netherworld and begin anew-"

"Only the weak-willed princesses turn into demons? So that means I'm safe, right?"

"HEY! You can't talk- you're not even supposed to be in this scene! WHY IS EVERYONE BREAKING THE FLOW OF THIS STORY! THIS IS MY STORY, STOP RUINING IT!"

"Ummm you shouldn't break the fourth wall of your own story- it's bad publicity-"

"Isn't referencing the fourth wall technically breaking the fourth wall, princess?"

"Shhhhh, no names here! We're all supposed to remain anonymous you foolish boy! And you- stupid princess girl- STOP INTERFERING WITH MY STORY! I COULD just tell the stupid and lazy author of this story to omit you or something; since this story started before the actual plotline in the game, he can make changes to the story!"

"Oh yeah? Well since I'm a girl- and a princess no less, I could just use my charms and he'll make you a whiny, unrelatable weakling for the rest of the story! I'll even have him remove all the scenes that show you in a light that actually makes your character likeable!"

"I'll take you up on that challenge- I'll just threaten to murder him in a most horrible fashion if he crosses me!"

NEXT EPISODE OF GREATEST DEMONHOOD: Raspberyl's Father steals a teddy bear from a six-year old human girl with Leukemia!

-News Flash-

Later chapters may be delayed as the author has been in a terrible accident involving several of his vital organs and a comically large microwave oven and industrial-sized meat grinder.

-End News Flash-