Chapter 12
The next morning Mac awoke in cramps, she sat up and moaned
"Mmmac?" Harm said sleepily "what's up?"
"I'm OK, just a cramp"
"It's never been this bad" he said sitting up "I should get you to the hospital"
"I'm fine" Mac insisted
"Then stand up" Mac complied but winced as pain shot across her abdomen
"Come on, let's go"
"What about Chloe?"
"I'll get her" Mac began to walk but flinched with every step so Harm helped her to the car before running to get Chloe
"Wha?"
"I need to take Mac to the hospital, you can come or stay here"
"I'll come"
"Just grab some clothes and let's go" she complied and ran to the car
A couple of hours and many, many tests later Dr. Caldwell entered with her test results.
"Well Colonel, I'm sorry to say you have an infection, you'll have to stay here for treatment"
"How long will that be?" Harm asked
"However long it takes to clear unfortunately" he called a nurse over who hooked up the IV with the medication and left the three of them alone
"How are you feeling?" Harm asked
"Sore and uncomfortable" Harm held her hand and kissed her forehead
"Go and get yourselves breakfast, and changed, I'll be OK for awhile"
"I should call the admiral too" she nodded and they took turns in her bathroom to change before leaving to the cafeteria and Harm called the Admiral
"JAG offices, Petty Officer Coates speaking"
"Jen, Its Harm, is the Admiral in?"
"Harm, where have you been? The Admiral is furious"
"Mac has been hospitalised again"
"What? Is she OK? What's wrong?"
"She has an infection, She'll be OK but she has to stay in until it has healed"
"OK, give her our love, I'll put you through to the Admiral"
"Rabb! Where the hell are you? I ordered you to be in all this week"
"I'm at the hospital Sir, Mac has an infection"
"What?"
"She has an infection from her last miscarriage and has to stay in until she is healed"
"OK son but I still need you in tomorrow, give her our best"
"Thank you sir" he hung up and went to get breakfast with Chloe. When they returned to Mac's room she was fast asleep so Harm took Chloe over to Bud and Harriet's to help Harriet around the house while Bud was working and Harm went back to sit by Mac. A little while later Mac woke up and saw Harm alone
"Hey, how are you feeling?"
"Better, I needed the sleep"
"That's good" he kissed her forehead
"Where's Chloe?"
"I took her over to the Roberts' to help Harriet our a little bit"
"Oh"
"She's good, also the Admiral wants me tomorrow"
"That's OK, you shouldn't have to hang around me all the time"
"I don't have to but I want to, I want to be here for you"
"Thanks Harm"
"Ohmigosh!"
"What?"
"Harriet's Baby shower is this weekend, can you get her present out and give it to Chloe, she can go for me if she wants"
"Oh, OK"
"And when you pick Chloe up, just let Harriet know that I'm sorry I can't come"
"I'm sure she'll understand" Before Mac could speak again a lady brought a tray of food in for her dinner
"Harm, go home, get some rest and I'll see you later"
"Mac"
"Don't worry so much, I can look after myself just take Chloe home and I'll be fine here"
"OK, I love you" he kissed her on the forehead
"I love you too, now scat" Harm left begrudgingly and prepared to go back to work
2 weeks later
It had been two weeks of tests, hospital food and boredom; Harm had brought her some books from home and she had finished them all, she sat around, did an occasional walk then lay in bed. She had missed a court martial that she would have done had this not happened and Harriet's baby shower, now that she thought about it she didn't want to go anyway because she wouldn't have been able to stand it for very long anyway. But right now she would take that over this, she decided to get up for a walk, she had just eaten lunch, horrible, whatever it was. So she decided to go for a walk in the grounds. The garden was pretty at the moment, the flowers were in bloom and the trees were green, she took a deep breath and smiled, no more pain, she hoped it would be gone soon so she could go home, Dr Caldwell said this morning that it had looked promising. Harm wouldn't be in until after 5 so it seemed safe to go out into the grounds. She took her time wandering around, enjoying the views of the nice garden, she missed the time talking with Sam but she really didn't want to talk about babies right now, the pain was still fresh and a very touchy subject, new children were being born around her and she walked past the nursery every day to get to the grounds.
That afternoon
"Well Colonel, I see no reason why you can't go home but you still have to take it easy, when Harm gets here you are free to go" he sent a nurse in to help her pack up and she waited for Harm for only a few minutes
"How are you going? I hear you can go home" he kissed her gently
"Just get me home sailor"
"Aye, Aye Ma'am" he said giving her a mock salute and picking her up
"I can walk Harm"
"I know" he put her down, picked up her bag and they went home he cooked her dinner then they went to bed
"Where's Chloe?"
"Babysitting AJ, Harriet and Bud are gonna bring her home"
"OK, I missed you sailor"
"Me too, now rest" they soon fell asleep and had a nice weekend before they sent Chloe home on the plane the next day.
"Bye Chloe, I'm so sorry I didn't get to spend much time with you"
"That's OK, I'm just glad you are OK, look after yourself"
"You too honey, now you're gonna miss your flight" Mac kissed Chloe on the cheek and pushed her towards the plane, they waved and Chloe disappeared onto the plane. They were preparing to leave when Harm's mobile phone rang
"Hello?"
"Hello sir, it's Bud"
"Bud, how are you? You know you can call me Harm out side of the office"
"Uh ok, anyway Harriet's having the baby, seeing as you and Mac are the godparents we would like you here"
"OK, see you at Bethesda"
"Thank you sir" they hung up and Harm turned to Mac
"Harriet's having the baby, do you want to go?"
"Do they want us there?"
"Yes"
"OK, lets go"
They spent hours hanging around the hospital, watching, waiting for news on Harriet and their new godson until Bud came out in scrubs with a smile plastered on his face
"It's a boy! His name is Jimmy" Harm and Mac stood up and walked over to Bud, Harm shaking his hand and Mac hugging him "You can see him soon if you want" Bud began to walk away and Harm followed with little AJ, Mac only after locking all her feelings away so she wouldn't look weak to her friends. They walked into a small hospital room and found a very tired looking Harriet holding a tiny bundle in her arms.
"Mummy!!!" little AJ cried as he ran over and climbed onto the bed
"Look honey, this is your little brother, his name is Jimmy" Mac smiled at the picture in front of her, she and Harm walked over and she was passed her godson, she looked down and the tiny form in her arms, his crystal blue eyes gazing up at her, she imagined a tiny baby boy with Harm's looks and her brains, she tried to hold her tears at bay but she couldn't hold them all in, a few tears trickled down her cheeks, she passed him to Harm
"He's beautiful Harriet" the infant began to cry as Harm held him so he was quickly passed back to his mother and needed to be fed
"We'll give you some privacy now" Harm said taking the opportunity to leave and take Mac with him.
In the car on the way home Mac wasn't crying but she stayed silent only muttering a small thanks when he opened the door for her at their home
"Mac, are you OK?"
"Mmm"
"You haven't spoken since we left the hospital"
"Have you got a problem with that? Do I have to speak to you all the time?" Mac was getting very defensive
"No, Mac, I'm sorry, I'm just worried about you" he reached out and touched her arm, she pulled it away like it was burned
"I'm fine" she walked away and went upstairs
"Mac" he watched her go, he debated with himself weather or not to go after her, he thought he would give it some time.
Mac walked into their rec room/den area and sat on their window seat all around her were photos of their friends and the two of them with little AJ, was this what she was destined to live? A life of having fun with other people's children? She'd said to Harm she didn't want to try again but holding that little boy in her arms all she wanted was a child of her own, would she ever get that? The pain was still too much after the last miscarriage, and the infection, she didn't think she could ever deal with that again the risk was too high. She thought about going to see Dr. McCool again but that was stupid, she hated shrinks even though Dr. McCool was a very nice woman, thinking of her shrink she remembered what she had been told about her 4 guarantee, there was still a chance but again she couldn't live with losing another child.
"Mac?" she heard Harm say tentatively, she looked around, he looked worried, he walked over and knelt on the floor beside her "Talk to me," he held out his arms and she fell into them gladly "What's wrong?"
"Their little boy, he has blue eyes"
"So?"
"So, Harm, a baby, your looks and my brains? Recall saying that? That was all I could think about as I looked at that tiny little boy"
"Aww honey" he held her as she cried into his chest "It's gonna be OK, we can always try again"
"No Harm, it's too late for that"
"Why?"
"I can't do it again, I can't survive the pain, there isn't a day I don't think of the children we have lost and what we could have, every day I feel guilty"
"Mac, you know it isn't your fault" Mac nodded slowly but continued to hold onto him, he shifted them so he was sitting on the window seat too and holding her in his lap "I will never stop loving you Mac, even if you can't have kids, you know that don't you?" She looked up at him
"Even if we never have a kid with your looks and my brains?"
"Even if that never happens, my answer will never change"
"Thanks Harm"
"Look, it's getting late, why don't we have dinner and go to bed, we have to get to work tomorrow, unless you don't feel up to it"
"No, I'm good to go"
"OK, then let's get you fed marine"
"Can't go hungry now can I?" he helped her up and they walked down to the kitchen
"Good morning Colonel, Commander,"
"Morning Sir" they said together
"How are you feeling Mac?"
"A lot better thank you sir"
"That's good to hear, I'm glad, Ready to get back to work?"
"Yes sir"
"Well you two have been requested as attorneys at a top secret base within Cheyenne Mountain, I believe you are friends with the Commanding Officer and second in Command on the base"
"Yes, the 2IC is friends with the Colonel here"
"There is not much I can tell you about the case but you will have to sign forms and you'll be filled in once you get there. You leave at 1400, Coates has your travel details, Dismissed" They both stood to attention before saluting and saying
"Aye, Aye sir"
"By the way, I'm glad you're better Colonel"
"Thank you sir" they picked up folders from Coates before going home and packing for their trip
A/N: That's as far as I've got for now, my internet isn't working well at the moment so I'll get the chapters up when I can but there isn't much I can do, so if I don't update for awhile you know why, plus I start school again so this is my holiday work, pretty good seeing as I was made to go on an Intensive Choir camp yawn
JAF 60: Thanks for your supportive review
Jen8f9: as you can probably tell Stargate is coming back into it, you can expect more Stargate action soon
Michelle UK: thanks 4 your review
Froggy 0319: their dreams are not too far away hint, hint