A/N: Long time no story, I see.... I'm really, terribly sorry, but I just lost interest in FF for a little while. I'm still not quite sure if I like it or not, but after I re-read 'Paranoid', I realized I needed to update very, very badly. Plus, I owe it to you guys, since it has been almost four months since I've written anything. I am so, so, SO sorry! Hopefully this chapter will make up for it a little- it's my longest chapter yet, and it took me five days to write. It's over 7,000+ words (which is a world record for me :) and literally did take me over five days to write, all for you wonderful readers/reviewers :) So.... without further ado, since I've already made you wait 4 months, here is the fifth chapter of 'Paranoid'! Enjoy, and feel free to drop a review if you'd like :)
Disclaimer: I do not own CR/JONAS, or anything else you recognize. I only own my made-up characters (Not Mitchie + Lucas Brothers). Please forgive me for any spelling/grammar issues, some of this was written late at night. Enjoy!
That night, I dreamt. Of course, dreaming in itself is not a bad thing, but when your dreams are of the past, present, and the future mixed all together, it almost always spells out trouble. In my case, anyways, it most certainly did.
I'd tried to block out the memories, tried to avoid even thinking about what had happened, and what would happen, but you don't have much control when it's late at night, you're halfway unconscious, and the dreams begin. At first, they always start out ok, and then you'll see maybe, his face pop into the dream, and you know it's only going downhill from there. The only thing that dreams can lead to is broken memories and scars that run so deep that they will never be healed completely- or at least, they make the memories worse by unwillingly bringing them up, not allowing you to push them away, to deny them.
It started out peacefully.
I was sitting under my favorite tree, staring up at the clouds as my best friend and I tried to find shapes among them. The pure, innocent happiness that swelled up inside me would've brought tears to my eyes, had I been awake. It felt so good to be young and oblivious again, with my long-gone best friend lying next to me as if it was only us, and there was no one else in the world but us. Those had been the days.
All was quiet around us as we stared up at the sky, our imaginations working hard as we struggled to beat each other at finding more shapes. "I see a bird," She cried, pointing up at a cloud that did look very much like an bird in mid-flight. I laughed, a loud, clear, pure sound that had instantly raised my spirits and reinforced the joy that was already coursing through my veins. It had been so long since we'd done this, and it felt so amazing to feel... alive again.
The scene quickly changed, though, as I glanced over to find that she was gone. Panic stricken, I jumped to my feet, spinning around to only to find she had completely disappeared. What had happened- where had she gone? "Jayden!" I yelled, my eyes widening and my heart racing as I desperately searched for her. Where was she?
A voice beside me made my blood run cold, and I froze in place at the sound. My eyes unwillingly travelled to where a new girl was standing, and I held back a shudder. But the girl was smiling, laughing, pulling me along with her, as if we were as carefree as before.
"Shannon." I whispered, my heart still pounding in my chest at the danger she presented. But she wasn't responding- at least not the way I had expected. No- she was shaking her head, attempting to drag me across the floor, and with a dull surprise I realized we were no longer outside, but in a large bowling alley, surrounded by hundreds of other people. How had I not noticed them before?
"Come on silly." Shannon cried, still tugging on my wrists. Hesitantly, I followed her, still unsure of what was going on. However, I still kept my guard up- I was not stupid enough to let her in once again, without knowing this time whether she was being honest or if this was just another game she was playing, toying with me. I decided for now, to see what she wanted, since I was sure if she had bad intentions, she would not be treating me as if I was still her best friend. "Come on, we're going to be late, and you know how much your mom hates it when we're late. She worries about us so much sometimes!"
'With good reason, of course,' I thought, knowing full well that she had been right in the end. If only I had listened before it was too late...
Shannon lead me up to a large group of people, and I realized with a shock that he was among them. He smiled, and now that I knew, I could see the evil that lurked right beneath that seemingly-innocent grin. I felt my stomach turn upside down at the thought, and knew for a fact I was going to be sick later on.
"Over here!" He called, his voice completely free of the emotions I'd come to recognize, and I realized that neither him nor Shannon were acting as if anything wrong. No, this was... before everything had happened. I tensed, unsure of what to expect. Who knew what was coming next? Shannon, however, was still walking up to him, as if everything was fine and dandy. I wanted to pull away from her grasp, to scream, to shout, to run. But I stood frozen, unable to think or compose myself. Now Shannon was turning, frowning at me, her face lit up with confusion, and he was staring at me, worry echoed in his eyes.
"What's wrong, M? Are you ok?" Shannon asked, "You look as if you've seen a ghost." She stepped forwards, looking concerned, but I quickly shook her off, and it was now that I realized I was shaking with fear.
"Maybe I have." I replied quietly, and Shannon cocked her head to the right, lifting an eyebrow, as if she was wondering if she'd heard me correctly. Of course I couldn't let her know that she had, until I had figured out what was going on. Which possibly could take me a little while, since I was beyond confused by now. What in the world was going on? Why was I here, and with these people? I couldn't make sense of up nor down to save my life.
But now, he was at my side, along with Shannon, and both were reaching out, as if to steady me. With a shriek, I pulled away, my breath coming in huge gasps as I tried to calm myself down. So far, it wasn't working out.
"Hey Mitch, what's wrong?" He asked, his voice laced with concern, and I flinched at the sound, but attempted to conceal the fear bubbling up inside of me. If he was still into acting polite, I didn't want to be the one to break that front. Instead, I forced myself to face them, to force a smile onto my lips, to pretend.
"Sorry guys, I think I'm coming down with something. Be right back?" Without waiting for a response, the smiling slipping off my face the moment I turned away from them as I began to run. I didn't know where I was going, but it didn't matter. I needed a moment to breathe, and I wouldn't get it by standing around while he and Shannon attempted to comfort me. That was the last thing I wanted right now.
Somehow, I ended up in the bathroom, slamming a stall door shut behind me before I fell to the floor, attempting to stop by pathetic sobbing. Why, why? I knew exactly what this was going to lead to, and I didn't know if I could handle it happening a second time. It had taken me all these years just to get over last time- well, almost, anyway. I had never fully recovered from that last experience, and... I couldn't go back there. I couldn't.
I curled my knees up, wrapping my arms around them, as I buried my face, tears still streaming down my face, although slightly less now that I was beginning to gain my control back a little. Note: only a little. I didn't understand what was happening. Maybe the memories really were consuming me- maybe, this would all disappear in a moment and leave me with a dull ache.
I heard the door being slammed open, and urgent footsteps thudding against the tiled floor, and I knew instantly that it was Shannon, who had obviously followed me as I tore away from the group. My head reeling, my mind working once again, I jumped up as silently as possible, wiping the tears from my eyes and praying she wouldn't know I had been crying.
"M?" Her voice rang through the empty bathroom, and I quietly opened the stall door, immediately plastering a fake smile on my face as my eyes met hers. My heart beating wildly, I attempted to conceal all emotion from my face, except that of the one thing I didn't feel: apology. "M, are you ok?" She asked, stepping forwards, and it took all my willpower not to move back, putting distance between us. I couldn't let her know that I wasn't as clueless as she'd been assuming.
"Fine, I'm so sorry! That food didn't settle well in my stomach, I kinda freaked for a moment 'cause I didn't want to throw up or anything." I forced myself to laugh, forced myself to make the pathetic giggling sound real, for both our sakes. Shannon must have bought it, or maybe she just wasn't going to push me, because she returned the laughter, shaking her head.
"You're a mess, ya know that, Mitch?" She joked it off, but her words stung, especially more so because they were true. I was a mess- a terrible, weak, broken, walking mess. Her words hit home without her even knowing it. If she had, I knew she would have been more than pleased, and this made it hurt more. "It's fine, think you feel okay enough to come back and join us? The others are worried, since you just ran off without an explanation. And you looked really pale."
"Yeah, I'm fine," I replied, the fake smile still playing on my lips as I forced it not to falter, knowing that Shannon's sharp eyes missed nothing. "So, who else is here?" I asked, attempting to make small talk to turn the attention away from myself. It worked, because a few moments later, she was rambling off names of people that I knew very little, and I had stopped listening, my thoughts racing as I tried to figure out how I would be able to spend this night with them without panicking, or bolting again, or alerting them to the fact I no longer had that innocent streak that they had so happily taken away from me.
We had exited the bathroom, and he was waiting by the door, eyeing me worriedly, and I forced myself to grin, brushing him off as Shannon explained what was 'wrong' with me, or at least, what I had told her was wrong with me. Thank-goodness she had believed me, or else I didn't even want to imagine the situation I'd be in.
I felt myself relaxing slightly. They bought it, my mind reminded me, for now there's no reason to run. This was how things had been, before... I blocked the thought from my mind, shaking my head to rid myself of it. Not now, I reminded myself, returning my attention to them. They had begun walking back towards the large group all hanging out by the bowling lanes, and I quickly hurried to catch up to them before they noticed I had been lagging. They weren't exactly stupid people, as I had learned quickly.
Laughter floated to my ears, along with loud, blaring music, and the general noises of arcade games and people talking noisily. I flinched inwardly, wondering how they could be so oblivious- so wonderfully, amazingly oblivious- to the two dangerous allies that walked among them. I wished I could be like those people- so wrapped up in conversation, or just their general lives, that they were blissfully unaware of the malice, the evil, the horror that was lurking among them, wearing the faces of angels, their halos shining brightly for all to see.
Others greeted me, their faces just a blur, and if someone had asked me what I'd said to them, I would honestly have no clue. My lips moved, mouthing words my ears refused to hear, as I smiled and laughed, pushing down the intense fear that was building up. Slowly, as the evening wore on, I began to relax and actually enjoy myself. Why had I hated them so much, again? I couldn't remember. All I was aware of was my own laughter, bubbling up from deep inside my belly, and for an instant I was back with Jayden, counting clouds and carefree once again. The thought horrified me, as I realized I had done it yet again - all these feelings I'd worked so hard to push down, deep, deep down inside of me for so many years had bubbled up, bring back the doubt that Shannon and he were really all that bad, and that everyone telling me so was just being silly. It felt so good, so amazing, to be among them again, laughing and talking, pushing and playing, and to forget about what they'd done. How they'd ruined my life. How they'd broken me- shattered me, into pieces so small it had been impossible to repair.
I was smiling, as Shannon played with my hair, as fleetingly I remembered her lack of boundries, and for that split second, I wanted to shudder at the fact she was touching me. But it quickly passed, as I told myself I was just being paranoid- somehow, Shannon and he had forgotten about our past together.
And just as quickly as I had relaxed, forgetting about the two dangerous beings sitting right beside me, myself squished together between them, the scene had changed, and the bowling alley, the people, and the flashing lights disappeared as quickly as they had come. I was lying on my side, the ground damp and hard beneath me, and my wrists were bound with ropes that were cutting deep into my skin. It was dark, a heavy stench reaching my nose, and I shook my head in disgust at the vile smell. What was it? Where was I- where was Shannon? Where was he?
I was soon to be slammed against a brick wall, which would shake me to the core, and put any thoughts of us as friends out of my mind. He walked in, and vaguely I wondered why he looked so angry, so spiteful. We were friends, were we not?
And then he was pulling me up, all gentleness pushed aside, and slamming me up against something solid, and then it all came back. The running. The fear. The reason we weren't friends. And in that instant, I realized how easily I had tricked myself. The thought sickened me. It was as if I truly wantedto believe everything was ok- we were friends again. I really was as weak as they said- my heart was weak- still longing to be a part of their circle after everything they'd done to me. I hated myself- I hated myself with every bone in my body for the terrible ache in my chest that still longed for them- to be their friend, to be accepted by them.
"Look," His voice was as I'd come to recognize it: harsh, relentless, and without mercy. "Little jerk. Or should I call you Little Poor Mitchie? Poor Mitchie, who never saw this coming, who never would've dreamed that her supposed 'family', as you called me, would've done this. Oh no, not Poor Mitchie, who couldn't see a truck coming to save her life. And now, the truck's run you over, and you're good as dead, and what are your dying words? Repeated, over and over again, in the same mindless manner... 'But we were friends'. Poor dead Mitchie, who still refuses to see the light, to embrace the dark, and to see me for who I really am."
I panicked. I knew exactly what would happen next, and I couldn't stand to endure it a second time. Screaming, I attempted to push him away, to run, to cry out for someone to save me, oh save me from this fate I've destined myself to. Save me, please save me, because I've learned that I'm incapable of saving myself. I flung myself away from him, hysterical, as I bolted, although I already knew there was no where to go. There was no escape- no one to save me from this nightmare I created.
He was laughing in the background- the kind of maniacal, evil scientist laugh that you only hear in movies. His voice was terrible, echoing, and I was screaming, thrashing, desperately trying to escape from this nightmare.
There was no escape, no escape at all...
And now there was another voice, three, actually, all so far away and jumbled together, and I couldn't make sense of what was going on. The room was dark, and his laughter was far away, so far away, fading quicker with each moment...
I woke with a start, jerking upright was another scream as I backed away from the three, dark figures, my heart in my throat. What was going on? Who were these people, and what were they doing here? Where was he? This wasn't how the scene had gone.
Slowly, I realized the figures were calling my name, and I noted a mixture of confusion, concern, and panic in their voices. I forced myself to calm- to figure out what was going on before I panicked further. Dimly, the small window in the cell allowing some moonlight in, I recognized the three figures as Joe, Kevin, and Nick. Instantly, my racing heart calmed, and I released a shaky breath, my body still trembling uncontrollably.
"It was just a dream, just a dream, that's all." Nick said loudly, cautiously stepping towards me, and, seeing that I wasn't moving away and was no longer screaming, the three boys rushed closer, worried faces staring down at me, still hesitant of how I was going to react. Taking deep breaths, I forced myself to calm down, realizing I was in no immediate danger and that it really had all just been a dream.
"Yeah. Just a dream." I echoed dully, knowing it had been so much more than just that. It had been memories of the past- both real and altered, both hurtful and full of truth, and yet my mind had been clouded with confusion. It had been another stab to my heart- another slow, agonizing death that never came.
"Are you okay? We heard you screaming..." Kevin stated the obvious, and I raised my eyes to him, offering him a small, hardly visible smile. I couldn't force myself to grin, not now, not after I'd just been reminded of... things.
"I'll be fine." I brushed them off, pulling myself up into a sitting position and taking another deep breath. "Dreams can't hurt you, right?" I laughed, although it was forced and not the least bit funny, because I'd just lied to both them, and myself, in an attempt to calm myself down. Closing my eyes, I managed to even out my breathing, and my heart pace returned to almost-normal. Hold your breath. Count to ten. Release....
When I finally looked back up again, the three boys were still standing there, looking concerned, but I blew them off, just wanting to forget about the dream, and about him, and about everything, at least until morning. The darkness fed my fears, reminding me of the times before...
"I hate this." I whispered under my breath, and I saw the boys couldn't tell what I'd said, thankfully, because they gave no reaction to it what-so-ever. I raised my voice, returning my attention to them and managing to offer a small smile, although it was still filled with sadness. "I'll be okay, really, go back to sleep." I replied gently, still pushing back the tears until I knew they were far enough away. I didn't want to bother them with my troubles- they had already gone out of their way to check on me, and I didn't feel like keeping them up any longer. Slowly, Nick and Kevin nodded, both returning to their previous positions, before I had bothered them with my screaming, but Joe didn't move. He stared at me, and once again I offered a weak smile, waving him back towards his brothers. "Go." Joe, however, shook his head at me.
"No," He replied, his tone firm yet gentle, and I had a feeling he wasn't going to leave, despite my efforts and need to be alone. I just wanted to be alone and focus on blocking out the horrible pictures still flashing into my mind. "I'm not just going to leave you alone right now. That's not what you need, and I know that for a fact." Instead of backing away, he came closer, this time ignoring the way I flinched as he sat down beside me, the memories of him still fresh in my mind. I wasn't sure how comfortable I was with Joe sitting right next to me, so close we were almost touching. If I only leaned a little to the right, our shoulders would bump together. I smiled uncomfortably at him, wondering if I was able to be rude enough to move away, even just slightly.
"There was once a boy who, too, thought that dreams couldn't hurt anyone, because they weren't real. He quickly learned, though, that he was mistaken. Dreams, real or not, can hurt. They can destroy hopes, create them, or crush us down until we're nothing more than twisted beings, with no sense of what's up or down, what's right or wrong." Joe's voice was low, so as not to interrupt Nick and Kevin too much, but the tone of his voice made me suspect that there was more behind his story of this 'boy' then he let on. Maybe he understood me more than I'd first guessed, because his tone implied that this 'story', although very simple, was very personal to him. I released a sigh, knowing that he had opened up to me, and now it was my turn. His eyes, full of unsaid sympathy, met mine, and with a loud swallow, I replied.
"And once you've allowed your dreams so much control over you, it's nearly impossible to fix yourself- to go back to the way you were before. You'll always be broken and twisted, always unable to tell between up and down, real or false." These few sentences seemed to calm both of us- in a strange way, we understood one another. I still hesitated, my mind flashing back to how easily I had let my guard down around him and Shannon, and how much it had cost me in the end. But, in my heart, I knew Joe was different than them, and it was this that caused me to, after letting out a soft sigh, bring my walls down temporarily. 'Now is not the time for secrets between friends,' My mind reminded me, 'Tell him a little, not all, but most'.
Joe leaned closer to me, our shoulders now touching, and immediately I jerked back, starting, my heart leaping into my throat. Quickly, I reminded myself that he wasn't going to hurt me, and I forced myself to relax, releasing a shaky breath.
"I'm sorry," I muttered softly, glancing up at him. I didn't need to explain why, since I knew by his expression he already understood, and had forgiven me. "This is hard for me," I admitted, deciding to be honest with him. "This whole situation is... hard on me." His gaze flickered away from me for a moment, and I felt him tense slightly. I closed my mouth, my lips pressed firmly against each other, and waited for him to speak.
"I once heard someone say that the first step is the hardest- the first mile is the longest." I frowned slightly, wondering where he was going with his random quoting, but decided to wait and let him finish. He turned to look at me again, his eyes staring straight into mine, as if he was trying to read my mind while he opened his. "And that was one hundred percent true. The first step is the hardest, no matter what others might say or do. The only way to reach your goal is in here-" He tapped his chest gently, pointing to his heart, "No one else can tell you how or what to do to make it through that first step, but once you get past it, the rest gets easier. Each step in the right direction is lighter, and better than the last." He glanced at me, probably wondering if I understood what he was saying, and I nodded in return, willing him to go on. "Eventually things will get better, once you make that first step." At his words, I frowned, unsure of what he was trying to say.
"Make the first step to..." I trailed off, hoping he would finish the sentence, and he chuckled quietly before going on.
"Make the first step towards breaking free." He replied, and I cocked my head, still wondering exactly what he was talking about. I doubted he was talking about actually breaking out, although he very well could be, at which point I would shake my head and move away again, since I already knew that there was no escape from him. "Breaking yourself free." Joe repeated, softer this time, staring at me as if willing me to understand. "Break free from your past." He, again, tilted his head towards me, and I now understood, lowering my head to hide the shame that crossed my expression.
"I've tried." I whispered in return, refusing to meet his eyes. "I've tried- I really have."
"The first step is the hardest." He agreed, and I was about to nod when I realized he wasn't finished speaking yet. "But you have to make that first step for it to become easier." I froze, knowing that what he said was true. All these years, I had tried and tried, but I still hadn't had the strength, or the will, to make that first step, and that's why he was still affecting me so easily. Because I'd been the one balking at making the first step towards freedom. I'd been the one holding myself back all these years.
At first, red hot rage filled me- not at Joe for realizing my fault, but at myself for being stupid. For being weak. For being unable to do anything but stay in the little rut I'd dug for myself. For letting my heart rule my head. For letting my conflicting emotions get the best of me. For everything that had happened over the last three years.
Seeing my rage and my fists balling up, Joe shook his head, placing a hand on my shoulder as if to stop me. I glanced at him briefly, still too concerned with my feelings of self-hate to care about what he was going to say next.
"Whoa, Mitchie, I didn't mean to make you angry. Listen-" He paused, waiting until he had my full attention to continue. "- I only said something, because I can see that if you make that first step, you won't be so angry at yourself- you won't care about him. Once you make that first step, you'll almost be free. Isn't that what you want- freedom from all of this?" He glanced at me curiously, as if wondering what I was thinking. When he saw the glare I gave him in return, he let go of my shoulder and turned away, leaning back against the wall.
"It's sad when people you know, become people you knew. When you can walk right past someone like they were never a big part of your life. How you used to be able to talk for hours, and now, you can barely even look at them." His voice was soft, and I had to strain just to catch his words, but they hit me just like the brick wall in my dream had- or just as hard anyway. I ducked my head as silent tears began to roll down my cheeks at Joe's comment, trying to keep Joe from noticing, but with the moonlight still lighting up my face, I saw Joe glance over and his eyes widen, partly in surprise, and partly in pity. Without a word, he turned, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me into a much-needed hug.
"Shush..." He whispered, although I still continued to cry silently, my head now buried in his chest as he tried to comfort me. "You can be free, if you really want to." He continued, and I flinched. He had no idea the countless hours I had spent attempting to stop the never-ending thoughts and scenarios running through my head, or the multiple times I'd screamed into my pillow, wishing the world would didn't know how much of my life I had wasted trying to stop my own self.
I didn't reply- I didn't have to. Instead I gripped him, allowing him to rock me back and forth gently while he rubbed my back, still trying to sooth me. And slowly, holding onto him as if he was my lifeline, my eyes slid closed, and yet still he held me, softly muttering under his breath. And finally, before I drifted off, I realized that there was someone who understood me after all.
I awoke that morning to Joe's voice in my head.
'It's sad when people you know, become people you knew...When you can walk right past someone like they were never a big part of your life. How you used to be able to talk for hours, and now...you can barely even look at them...'
With a frown, I shook my head, hoping to clear the thought from my mind. I didn't want to do this- to dwell on the fact he and I were now sworn enemies, or the fact that we would never again be able to go back to our relationship before. You can break free, if you really want to... Oh, he had no idea how much my heart yearned to be free.
I glanced over at where Joe was still sleeping beside me, and chuckled quietly at his soft snoring. I was somewhat surprised to see that he'd stayed beside me the whole night, and yet I had known he wouldn't leave me. He really could be sweet, and it wasn't hard to see why all those teenage girls were so into him. He was smart, intelligent, and caring. Maybe if we hadn't met this way, things could've been different. If only it hadn't been for him.
Of course, once I'd thought about it, I had to remind myself that it was thanks to him that we'd met. If hehadn't chased me down and locked me in this small, dirty cell, I'd never have met Joe, and I never would have had the opportunity to - possibly, just possibly- stop this chain of thoughts, this continuous cycle that I'd set myself in. After our talk last night, I felt I had a new energy, a new will to make that first step.
A noise beside me broke into my thoughts, and I turned my head to see what had caused it, my natural instinct of fear kicking in. Quickly, I remembered why I'd become so afraid in the first place, and the ultimate reason I would never break away.
He was standing beside me, and when he saw I'd noticed him, he grabbed hold of my arm, quickly stopping me from running, and he pulled me to my finger, placing a finger to his lips as he glanced over at the still-asleep Lucas Brothers, and then Joe, his eyes narrowing slightly. I opened my mouth, ready to give a warning cry, but his rough hand shot out and clasped firmly over my lips as he glared at me.
"Not a word," He breathed, his breath tickling my ear, "Or it'll be the worst for both of you. If you have any idea what's good for you, you'll keep quiet until I say differently." His voice was like a hiss, snapping and coiling in my mind, and I froze on the spot at the threat that lurked behind them. Of course, he always had had a threatening tone, but this was different, much more malicious. I nodded shortly, and he pulled his hand away from my mouth, still watching me carefully for any signs I would struggle and wake the Lucas Brothers. I had the opportunity, I knew, but even if I could, I don't think I would. I wouldn't put them knowingly in the way of danger, and I didn't want them to get hurt defending me. Better to have his attention focused on me than them. I already knew most of his tricks, although he never failed to surprise.
His hand firmly gripping my arm, his eyes still tracing my move, he pulled me towards the door, his footsteps so light that they were almost non-existent. I was fairly certain he'd practiced this numerous times until he'd become nearly perfect at it, and for a reason. Everything he did was for a reason, which was normally exposed at the end, which lead to him quickly 'taking care of things' so that he could play his twisted game over and over again, with hundred of different victims, each that had no warning whatsoever of the drama and disaster that he would lead to.
The sound of the cell door sliding back into place and the heavy bolt turning quickly brought me back from my thoughts. Now less cautious, I could hear his footsteps thudding softly against the stone floor as he lead me down the long corridor that contained hundred of other cells like the one that I and the Lucas Brothers were sharing. Briefly, I wondered how many of these vile cells he'd used so far. How many other people had he tortured down here? The thought filled me with a hopeless dread, and I quickly tried to shake the thought from my mind. He must have noticed, because a twisted grin danced on his lips.
Finally, he turned, and we began to ascent up and old, twisting staircase. I was glad to be rid of the numerous prisons, but afraid of what I was going to find when I reached the top of the stairs. His grip on my arm hadn't loosened in the slightest, and that fact made me more nervous. He knew I couldn't escape- I wouldn't try, either, since the Lucas Brothers were still in the cell below us, and I couldn't leave them, knowing how much his anger would turn against them if I did, and the horrible consequences that it would cause. So instead I resorted to walking meekly behind him, quietly following him without even attempting to make a fuss. Foolish? I'll say. But since there was really no other path I could take, I had to play along, at least for now.
My eyes slid to a small door as he nodded, and the door swung open silently, apperantly on it's own. This, in itself, should've freaked me out, but after being around him for so long, I'd come to accept these things as natural. He had his own, strange way of appearing powerful and terrifying, and he did this on purpose to scare his victims. Well, I'd been with him before, and I knew this for a fact, and hence this, in a strange way, helped me to calm down a little. I didn't understand it but somehow, knowing to expect the unexpected, helped me to stop shaking, if even in just the slightest.
The room was dark, and at first I was unable to see anything, even he disappeared into the shadows, pulling me along with him. I tensed, unsure of what surprises the darkness would hold, and stumbled as he shoved me backwards. Terrified I was going to fall, I flung my arms out, only to have my butt hit something solid a few moments later. With a great relief, I realized he had simply pushed me into a chair. Groping in the darkness, I pulled myself up, waiting for my eyes to adjust. Slowly, they did, and I found that he was sitting across from me, his brown eyes studying me, and I gave him a hard glare, attempting to conceal the fear that was beginning to build up. He probably knew me too well for that, though, since at one time, I had poured out my soul to him, but it was still worth a try.
"So, Mitchie, what have you been up too all these years that you managed to evade me?" He asked nonchalently, almost as if we were capable of having a normal conversation, and I was uncomfortably reminded of my dream, and how it had turned out. Red hot anger flared up inside me- why did he continue to act like we could behave like decent people around each other?
"What I did has nothing to do with you, Dain." I snapped, and his eyebrows raised at the malicious tone I had suddenly acquired. "Why would it have anything to do with you?" I leaned back unhappily, crossing my arms, angry at myself for letting my emotions get the best of me once again. Dain smirked, and even in the darkness I could tell he was pleased with my reaction.
"Your tone implies otherwise, my dear Mitchie. If what you said was true, you would not be here right now. Do you know why you are here, Mitch?" He asked, his tone even, although I could sense the hidden emotion in his voice. It was both filled with pleasure, and completely dangerous. I held back a groan, biting my lip.
"Because you dragged me here," I replied, in the same even tone, "Because, despite my attempted escape, you surrounded me- you and your army, which you will soon replace once they discover the horror within you - and bring me here, and then sit down and attempt to have a halfway decent conversation with me? So actually, no, although I probably would guess that you just want don't want any evidence around, and have decided to be rid of me." I knew this was true, and mentally I noted the fact that he didn't bother to deny it.
He shrugged his shoulders, as if the subject we were discussing was not all that important and he was rather bored with all the talk.
"Well, dear Mitchie, you simply always were the kind that liked to read too far into things." He replied, and I felt a cold chill at the double meaning his words held. His calm pretense was just that- a façade, as it were. He was like a snake just waiting for me to give him an excuse to strike. Well, I'd played this game before, and I knew how to avoid getting bitten- or at least dodge the deadly venom.
I didn't reply, because I knew that's what he wanted. Instead I bit my lip and looked away, examining the many cracks running up and down the stone walls. I could see, out of the corner of my eye, the sudden anger that lit up his eyes, but I pretended to be oblivious.
"Look at me, Mitch." His voice was low, and this time he didn't bother to hide the malice in his tone. Obviously he knew I was on to him, and that was something he wasn't used to, and hence he'd lost his patience. Slowly, I returned my gaze to him, trying to block all emotion from my face, and could only hope it was working. But he knew me so well, I was quite sure it wasn't. "I didn't want it to come to this, but-"
Psh, the thought flew through my mind, and I wondered how he could act so civil, even after I'd seen him. Didn't he know that I knew what he was? How could he do this... make me remember all the days I thought he was innocent, and even after I'd seen him in action, still make me believe that maybe, there was some good in him. How?
I felt tears pricking at the corner of my eyes- weak, I was weak, and I hated it. I wanted to blame it on him- it was him that did this to me, but in my heart I knew it was my own fault. Everything, it had turned out to be my fault. Mostly because I left my heart open- I'd trusted him, even liked him, although I had been stupid and blind then. Unfortunate for myself, I had learned the hard way some people are not what they seem.
"Why aren't you listening?" The hissing tone broke into my thoughts, and I turned back to face him unwillingly. "As I was saying, before you so rudely stared dazedly into space," he continued, now knowing that he had my attention again, "You never answered my question directly. Do you or do you not know why you are here?"
I didn't want to answer him- I had a pretty good idea, but I wouldn't dare to speak it aloud.
"Well," He answered, when I made no move to reply to him, "Actually, you are here for two reasons. One- of course I had to deal with you after we had our little issue- I needed to... sort things out." I knew exactly what he meant by 'sort things out', and I wanted no part of it. "And secondly- well, the second reason you are here just so happened to work out perfectly, since originally it had created a problem. You, my dear little friend, will take care of the Lucas Brothers for me."