Furries vs. Anime Villains
Chapter 3: The Rogues Gallery
"Here are my minions," said Myotismon.
"I thought we agreed they were MY henchmen!" said Frieza.
"We're on the same team for now," said Wiseman.
"The guy with the horns and the tail that swings back and forth is Frieza. He is the fiercest fighter in the universe and possibly the strongest here."
"When you have what you want," said Frieza, "I'll blow the planet up."
"I told you there'll be no need," said Myotismon. "You'll be king of Earth."
"I thought you said…" began Giovanni, but Myotismon continued.
"The faceless man with the purple hood and the strange arms is Wiseman, also known as the Doom Phantom."
"I shall plunge the planet into darkness," said Wiseman.
"The man with the white hair is Bakura," said Myotismon. "He can send his opponents to the Shadow Realm."
"Isn't that where…" said Giovanni. Myotismon nodded.
"And finally, the big man with the red eyes, gold armor, and goat horns is Moo."
"A ha ha ha ha," said Moo.
"All he ever says is 'A ha ha ha ha!'" said Bakura.
"Didn't he talk in the show?" said Giovanni.
"What show?" said Myotismon.
Frieza swung his tail. It hit Giovanni in the face and knocked him down.
"ARGH!" said Giovanni. It stung hard, like he'd never known before. If he wasn't on Team Rocket, he wasn't sure he would have survived.
"Stop breaking the fourth wall!" said Frieza. "You are no longer on Team Rocket. Team Rocket is history. You are now on Team Frieza!"
"I thought the team was called 'Team Millennium Ring!'" said Bakura.
"This is Team Myotismon!" said Myotismon.
"A ha ha ha ha," said Moo.
"We'll call it 'Team Bickering Pointlessly,'" said Wiseman, "or simply Team Evil. Now, we must take over the world."
"I must first find the Dragonballs to wish for immortality," said Frieza.
"There's no need to wish for my immortality," said Giovanni.
Team Rocket was in a frenzy without their boss. Butch and Cassidy kept shooting themselves in the head repeatedly, but after twelve times they still weren't dead. They hung themselves, tried the electric chair, and the gas chambers. They even dove into lava, but nothing would kill them, though it did cause them extreme pain.
"Guy shot himself in the head three times?" said Sam. "This sounds like a case to me!"
"Forget it, Sam," said Dean. "They're from Team Rocket. And Team Rocket are immortal."
"Immortal?" said Sam.
"How else could their boss have survived an explosion powerful enough to kill other characters in Pokemon?" said Dean.
"By the way," said Sam, "was his name Dr. Fuji or Professor John Smith?"
"Prove it," said Myotismon.
Moo shot a beam of fire from his hand at Giovanni, and he started on fire! He ran around and then fell to the ground. It looked like his face was melting off his skull. Then, he got back up.
"Don't do that," he said.
"I am in this for revenge," said Bakura. "My Millennium Ring was born to two notorious and iconic mass murderers, but both of them are dead. One was taken to the Shadow Realm and torn apart by a demon with pins on his head. The other was thrown into lava. Freddy hardly had any time for the ring anyway, though. He was always invading people's dreams."
"There's something about you," said Giovanni. "We are not so different, you and I."
"Something in your voice reminds me of… me," said Bakura. "How about we fuse together?"
"Will I still be me?" said Giovanni.
"You'll notice a difference at first," said Bakura. "But you might find it to your liking."
"Will we retain all of our abilities?" said Giovanni.
"That's the beauty of fusion," said Bakura. "We will have your immortality and my shadow powers. Let us perform the Fusion Dance in perfect symmetry."
"Cocket! Hide!" Two magicians hurried over to Wiseman's side. One was tall and thin. The other was short and fat. "Demonstrate the fusion dance!"
"We can't," said Cocket. "I'm too short to be symmetrical with him."
"I'm too tall compared to him," said Hide.
Frieza overturned a table in Cocket's direction and pointed toward a door. "Get moving!" he said.
Cocket and Hide packed up and walked away, sulking. Screeching of brakes could be heard, followed by a crash.
"Goose! Oggers!" Two of Frieza's weaker henchmen rushed into the room. "Demonstrate symmetry for the Fusion Dance."
Goose and Oggers stood a distance away. They outstretched their arms, said "Fu…" as they moved closer to each other, turning their arms toward each other. "…sion…" Their arms turned away from each other again, their fists still clenched. "HA!" They raised their hands above their heads and their fingers touched each other.
"You're insane!" said Giovanni. "That pose is not fit for pure evil villains, and besides, it didn't work!"
"That's because Oggers has a lower attack power," said Frieza. "For it to work your power levels must be the same." He read Giovanni's power on his scouter. "Level 35. Bakura, yours is Level 27. Giovanni, you'll have to lower your power."
"HOW THE SHADOW REALM AM I GONNA LOWER MY POWER!" said Giovanni.
"Don't mention You-Know-Where!" said Myotismon. "Michael Myers will kill us!"
"That was a myth," said Bakura. "He died last year when Knuckles knocked him into the lava pool."
"Screw the fusion!" said Giovanni. He threw his wine glass at Bakura.
"A ha ha ha ha!" said Moo.
Guess why Giovanni and Bakura say they remind each other of each other... and that's coincidence, I labeled Bakura as most sinister (besides Yami Marik) on Yu-Gi-Oh! I almost picked Queen Beryl, but it would've been hard to put the Negaforce in and Queen Beryl at once, when I'm just doing one of each, so I picked Wiseman from Sailor Moon R. I'm going for what I think are the most sinister main villains in the show. It was a tough call for Sailor Moon, of course.
Moo does talk in Monster Rancher, but the YTV channel had a commercial where "all Moo says is "A ha ha ha ha!"
Goose and Oggers are two of Frieza's minions who try out for the Ginyu Force in Episode 53, and are killed by Captain Ginyu. I picked Frieza over Cell and Buu because he's a lot... frostier, like during that scene where he destroyed Planet Vegeta, and several points during the fight with Goku... must be the voice.
Team Rocket's immortality is a reference to the fact that Jessie, James, and Meowth have survived falling into a canyon (the same distance that killed a major villain in Monster Rancher), several other falls, being run over by a ship, (in the case of James) falling over the side of a cliff with a boulder on top of him (look at the queen in Snow White, I doubt she even survived the fall before the boulder landed on her), basically anything that could have killed Ash and the others. They even supposedly drowned in Episode 16, but survived. And as mentioned, Giovanni survived Mewtwo blowing up his gym, when the scientists were all killed in a similar explosion. There IS that moment in Lucario and the Mystery of Mew when Jessie and James get eaten and Mew brings them and the others back, but hey, the Joker gets killed off in Batman and he's also immortal (mostly, I guess).