The Will of Fire
My life's been blessed… since the first day Genryusai saw me wandering through the sandy Hueco Mundo's dunes… till this very day. I'm an outsider. The training at Soul Society erased every bit of evil within me… so I guessed. Maybe I should consider myself evil for loving someone so young as him, but then again… I'm an Arrancar. I should be deprived of feelings; I should question the existence of something as lively as the heart. Nonetheless, I can feel it every time I close my eyes. Today… I leave Soul Society. I don't belong here, I don't belong in Hueco Mundo either. Being human, seems a good option… although I'll miss this world, I'll miss everything in it.
- Seika-chan? What'ru doing in here by yourself?
- Ah… just thinking to myself. I'll miss being here.
- You should stay. Perhaps make an arrangement with the Imperial Squad.
- The King was pretty clear. Any non Shinigami forces are permanently banned from tonight on. I may look like one, feel like one, but I'm not a Shinigami.
- You're moving to Karakura?
- No, I'll probably hit Tokyo… get a job, go to school. Normal stuff.
- You mean boring stuff?
Renji is awesome. He always put a smile on my face when I'm feeling down. I'll miss him deeply and by the sour expression he's making right now… he'll miss me too.
- What about… that issue?
A shiver runs up my spine when Renji mentions it. Every time I think about him I get this feeling, he intimidates me… I'm ridiculous.
- What about it? I'll let it be, of course. He doesn't give a crap if I'll stay or go… It's irrelevant.
- Drop the negative thoughts… He might be kinda rude, but he's a good boy.
The security in Renji's words is frightening. He's nothing more than a boy… who am I to have such indecent feelings and desires for someone who is so much younger than me? It's repulsive.
- Seika… you're almost the same height.
- I'm 20cm taller than him…
- … almost the same age…
- I'm 400 years older…
- … that's no big deal.
- Besides, he doesn't feel that way towards me. He only has eyes for Hinamori… go figure.
Renji's sigh makes me realize I'm right. If I were to fight that war I'd be losing from the start… which makes me feel miserable by the way.
- In that case… I wouldn't mind being your boyfriend…ya know.
As Renji's lips approach my face, the palm of my hand smacks his cheek.
- Cut it our Abarai! Always trying to take advantage!
He rubs his hurt cheek as I sadly smile. It's only a matter of time until I forget about him… I hope.