SM owns

Thanks Mommakat!

BPOV

Feeling Shawn's heat was amazing. I could feel him hard against me and that wasn't half bad either. As he put his chest against my back, his beating heart pounded through him into me. The heart beat is what I loved most about humans. They truly were unique and no matter what speed they were going at the rhythm was always the same.

I closed my eyes to give in to just the feeling alone, but the second I did Shawn was no longer the most enticing sensation I could feel. The static energy was present and prominent. I could feel it humming over every inch of my skin and it felt so good. I bit my lip to stop myself from moaning out in response to it.

The static hum conjured all kinds of images in my head. Dazzling images of messy silken strands of bronze, long fingers gliding over piano keys, chiseled jaw lines, red full lips fixed in a crooked grin, and golden eyes. These pictures swirled in my mind mingled with the sensation and it was almost too much.

The hum began to grow stronger and I felt hot lips close around my earlobe. They were too hot to be the lips that I wanted and it both angered and shocked me. I had to open my eyes. The first thing I saw was the messy bronze, the jaw line, the lips, and the golden eyes piercing straight through me and lidded with pure lust. My anger dissipated to warm happiness and I welcomed it with a smile.

The golden eyes filled with despair without eliminating the lust. What was happening? What was I doing, but more importantly what was he doing! It was bad enough that he was watching me like that and then he was moving entirely too fast.

I watched Edward run into the men's room and then scanned the crowd to see if anyone had noticed. It didn't seem so, but there were so many people here that I couldn't be sure. I didn't want to care or worry about Edward. I couldn't. I turned around to face Shawn and pull him closer to me but something was different now. He felt, smelled, and sounded the same but it didn't deliver the same pleasure, the same thrill or rush.

I was used to feeling this way when I was bored with a human but I'd never gotten bored this quickly before. It usually took at the very least a whole day. I shrugged it off and moved on to someone else. Selecting a guy from the crowd and calling him to me easily as I always did with a coy glance and smile. He instantly made his way to me, but I seemed to grow bored before he even reached me.

What the hell was happening?

EPOV

I washed my hands and tried to pull myself together before going back out there. I was sure I would see Bella because my eyes always sought her out on their own accord but I wasn't sure if I could handle being aroused like that again. I didn't want to see her with Shawn or any other guy either. I had always carried a bit of envy around with me when I was around my family of three mated vampires but this, what I was feeling now, was something new entirely. It was intense, all encompassing, and potentially lethal. It was hard to control and part of me didn't want to control it.

I unlocked the restroom door feeling somewhat prepared for whatever position I would find Bella in. What I wasn't prepared for was Esme standing right outside. Before I could even think to be embarrassed about what she could have heard, I found myself enveloped in her arms.

"Oh Edward! Honey I'm so sorry!" her thoughts cried out to me.

I hugged her back not knowing what else to do. She stepped back and took my hand in hers before towing me along with her as she moved to the booth where the rest of our family was. Esme quickly made up an excuse as to why we had to leave and told everyone we would be back at the house later.

"Is everything alright?" Carlisle stood, his face full of concern.

"Everything is okay, I just need to talk to Edward alone that's all," Esme assured him but the concern didn't leave him. He turned to me and quirked a brow.

"Are you okay?" Carlisle silently asked.

I offered him a smile and nod before he sat back down. Esme pulled me out of the club and into an alley. She took off running and I followed her still not really sure what was going on. The only thing I could pull from her mind was her eagerness to find a place we could be alone.

That place happened to be the roof of an abandoned warehouse. Esme sat on the ledge of the roof and patted the spot beside her.

"Esme what's going on?" I asked as I sat.

"I saw you run into the men's room. You moved so fast and I was worried about you. I followed to make sure you were okay but I heard you in there..." her thoughts trailed off abashedly and I looked away finally feeling the embarrassment. What I did in there was rare for me but tonight it had been necessary. I just wish that Esme of all people didn't have to witness it.

"Esme, I'm sorry that...," I began but she placed her hand over mine and shook her head.

"No, Edward. Don't worry about it, okay? I wanted to talk to you because I heard you say her name. Bella's, I mean."

"Oh."

I didn't know what else to say. I hadn't planned on anyone finding out about whatever the hell I was feeling for Bella. It was strange and I had wanted to figure it out before I went discussing it with anyone.

"You want her?" Esme prompted after I hadn't said anything else.

"Yes but it's so much more than simply wanting her Esme, I've never felt anything like this before. The second I saw her I was entranced. She's so beautiful, full of fire, funny, and frustrating. She's got that shield and it kills me not knowing what she's thinking! There's energy between us and when we touch it's electric, Esme, I swear! I think she feels it too but I have no way to know for sure because she hates the very sight of me. I just want to be near her and she can't get away from me fast enough! I know it's crazy to feel this way about someone I just met, but I know it's real and I can't ignore it."

I sighed and then laughed recalling how I'd just spilled my guts just after thinking about not being ready to discuss what I felt. I looked over at Esme and knit my brows at her expression. Her eyes were alight and frenzied. Her mouth hung open in shock but with a slight smile as her thoughts were a steady stream of "oh my God" and "finally".

"Esme?" I asked placing my hand on her shoulders which seemed to bring her out of whatever stupor she had been in. She quickly shook her head but suddenly her face fell in dejection.

"But...Tanya. What about Tanya?" she murmured more to herself than to me. That didn't stop me from responding though.

"I like Tanya and I know how she feels about me. The thing is I've never really wanted her like that. I've never felt for her what I feel for Bella. I've just always hoped that I might be able to be...complacent with her," I replied struggling to word exactly what I had hoped to get out of my relationship with Tanya.

Esme looked at me with a heartbroken expression. I was sure that if she could cry, she would have. I pulled her into my arms and kissed the top of her head.

"Esme, please don't worry. I'm fine," I told her as she pressed her face into my chest.

"No! I know exactly how you feel. I felt like that when I first saw Carlisle when I was sixteen! I know what's it's like to feel that instant connection, that pull, and not be able to do anything about it! All while I was suffering with my first husband, I only thought of Carlisle and he was so far out of my reach. I don't want this for you Edward! I hate that you have to go through what I did!"

I laughed and pulled back to look at her face. Esme was the most tender loving person I'd ever met. Her heart was so big and she was so full of warmth. I knew that she was always worrying about me and how lonely I was. I wanted to assure her that I was fine.

"Esme, I'm sure what I feel is nothing compared to how you felt. Carlisle is your mate. The longing you felt for him..." I trailed off at the expression on her face. She looked as if she was waiting for something but also frustrated that I didn't know what it was.

But suddenly I did know.

I jumped up and shook my head in disbelief. Esme stood and took both of my hands.

"It's all the same. Everything you feel is everything I felt, Edward. I really think that Bella's..."

"My mate." I finished for her incredulously. I couldn't believe that after all this time, I had found my mate but I listened intently as Esme replayed the dim but otherwise well preserved memory of the first time she met Carlisle. And it was true that I could identify with every emotion she had felt.

"Bella's my mate." I said this time with more conviction. A smile began to spread across my face as I envisioned having a future with her. I didn't have to be alone anymore. I didn't have to settle. I could be truly happy and be rid of all the envy I had carried over the past ninety years because I had found the key to a better forever. The best forever. Bella was mine.

"But Edward," Esme called, pulling me from my reverie. I looked down at her face wondering why she was still wearing that heartbroken expression. We had just discovered that I'd found my mate! Why was she not as elated as me. I felt like some weight had been lifted and I was free to fly if I wanted to.

"What's wrong?" I asked not able to get rid of my smile.

"Bella might be your mate, but she's also Tanya's sister."

And just like that all the happiness I'd thought I'd found, was robbed from me.