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Bella POV

I ran away from Edward as fast as I could clutching my wrist to my chest as if it were broken. I could here everyone still in the front room so I looped around to the back of the house and entered through the door off the kitchen. I went to the library and locked the door behind me. I knew that it would not be much of a hindrance to anyone in the house if they really wanted to get in here but they would feel it was locked and know to knock.

I pressed my back against the door and slowly slid down so that I was sitting on the floor. I could still feel him. He had touched nothing but my wrists and hands but to me he was everywhere. I could feel him on every strand of hair, down to the marrow in my very bones, the buzz only he could generate was flowing from my scalp to my soles.

Why was he doing this to me? How was he doing this to me?

I was so consumed by him that I didn't even realize I wasn't alone in the library. I had been staring at a shelf of books until it suddenly morphed into Jasper. I gasped and flinched back in surprise. He was kneeling down in the front of me and staring into my eyes with concern etched into his features.

"Jasper!" I gasped. "How did you get in here!" I glanced behind to make sure that my back was still against the locked door.

"I was already in here when you came in. You didn't know?" he replied.

I shook my head and lifted myself off the floor and he rose with me.

"Are you okay?"

I nodded my head but he didn't buy it.

"Bella you can talk to me you know," he told me dropping his tone. "You don't have to, of course, but if you ever needed to or wanted to I would never tell anyone anything we talked about. I really think of you as a friend and I'd like if you saw me that way as well," he told me, taking my hand and giving it a gentle squeeze.

I looked into his eyes and knew that he was telling the truth. I was glad that he thought of me as a friend because that's the way I already thought of him. It had never occurred to me to talk to anyone about the way I felt but now that he was offering, I knew that I definitely wanted to.

I trusted Jasper but I knew that there was no way to really guarantee secrecy when it came to Edward. What if Jasper happened to be thinking about something I said while Edward was in the room? Edward would know and he would be relentless from then on. I suppose I could just shield him all the time but that may start to raise suspicion after a while.

"Jasper you can't really promise me discretion. With Ed...," I began but he cut me off with a dismissing wave of his hand.

"There are ways to block Edward. My wife is a master in that art and I have been trained under her," he smiled.

I sighed and nodded my head, "Come on. We can't talk here."

I led Jasper out of the house through the kitchen where I had just entered minutes ago. I led him to my special place and sat under the tree instead of in it. Jasper sat across from me on the ground and waited patiently for me to speak, but I didn't know where to start.

I didn't really feel like the beginning was the best place. Everything was so complicated and I felt like maybe I should just get to the heart of the matter.

"It's Edward," I said.

Jasper who had been taking in the scenery refocused his attention back on me and quirked a brow in question.

"I have all these feelings for him Jasper. I can't stop thinking about him. No matter how hard I try to stay away or distract myself, he's always there and in my thoughts. But he was with Tanya first and she loved him, probably still loves him. I don't want to hurt her. Edward did a fine job of that himself and I don't want to make it worse. He feels something for me too and keeps trying to get me to admit that we feel the same, but I can't Jasper. I want to, I really want to but I won't do that to my sister," I said.

Jasper nodded his head slowly and seemed to be mulling over what I said before speaking, "When did you realize that you liked him?"

"The second he walked through our door. It was like I was drawn to him And it's so hard not to be around him because it's almost like I need to be. It drives me so crazy and it's exhausting."

"Wow. I have to admit I always thought you hated him," Jasper sighed.

"That's what everyone thinks. That's what I want everyone to think, especially Tanya. I wanted Edward to think that I hate him too but he's nearly impossible to convince! There's like this spark whenever we touch. He feels it and he knows that I feel it too but I refuse to tell him he's right. And then today...," I trailed off with a groan.

I could still remember with perfect clarity how his touch had made me feel. How my body responded and yearned for him, how it killed me to lie to him, and how it broke my heart to see the look on his face when I did. I knew that I had disappointed and hurt him which made me hurt for him and feel disappointed in myself. I hated to do that to him but I had no other choice.

"Bella, what happened today?" Jasper asked pulling me back to the present. I rehashed what happened between Edward and I in the forest giving him every detail more to relive it in my head than anything else. As I finished my story, a worried expression took over his face.

"What?" I asked. "What's wrong."

"Bella can you share with me how Edward makes you feel?"

His face and tone were starting to make me worried. I knew what he was asking and I rarely ever took down my shield. It was a part of me and I hated how vulnerable I felt in it's absence. However, I knew that Jasper wouldn't hurt me but his tone and expression told me letting him feel what I was feeling was something of importance...and that scared me.

"No offense Jasper but I really don't like taking my shield down. Actually I don't even want to talk about this anymore. I can handle Edward," I said.

"But Bella I really think...,"

"Jasper please!"

He sighed and shook his head. He stared into his lap for a long time until I grabbed his hand. "Jasper, I'll be fine," I assured him.

"But that's the thing. I really don't think you will...,"

"Tell me about you!" I exclaimed talking over him.

I was suddenly deathly afraid of what Jasper was trying so hard to tell me. A part of me knew that whatever it was would change everything and I didn't need that right now. The Cullens would only be here for two more weeks. If I could just keep fighting for 14 days everything would be fine.

Jasper remained quiet for a whole two minutes before his shoulders finally slumped in defeat.

"What do you want to know?" he asked.

"Tell me about your scars. I didn't even know we could have them. Are they bite marks? That's what the look like," I said.

As Jasper began his story, he became my distraction once more. I was completely enthralled, terrorized, and saddened by what he said. He told me of his creator, how she treated and used him. He described with great detail the fighting, wars, pain, death, and savageness of his old life style. He confirmed that his scars were in fact bite marks and that our venom was the only thing that could scar our skin. He told me about his depression and his struggle to abstain. When he finished his tale, I saw him in a whole new light.

"So that's how you learned to fight. That's how you knew how to teach me," I breathed feeling guilty that I'd had so much fun while it probably brought up bad memories for him. "I'm sorry Jasper. If I had known, I would have never asked...," I began but he cut me off.

"You didn't ask me. I offered to teach you how to fight so that you could get your revenge on Emmett. I don't mind teaching you Bella. Your shield protects you from vampiric gifts but if someone wanted to physically harm you, your shield would not help. You need to be able to defend yourself," he said.

I nodded my head because everything he said was the truth, "Thank you," I said not really sure what else to say.

"I really don't mind. You're the most controlled newborn I've ever seen. You have no idea how unique you are," he replied.

I smiled shyly and shook my head. "Whatever," I said not feeling like I really deserved praise from someone like Jasper. "You're a survivor man! I mean look at you. After all you've been through, you're here and you're sane. You changed your whole life around and I'm in awe of you," I told him.

During his story Jasper had pushed up his shirt sleeve to show me more of his battle wounds. I grabbed and extended his arm out toward me.

"May I?" I asked lifting my hand to hover over his arm. He nodded his head and I finally got to do what I had wanted since I laid eyes on him.

I traced just my fingertips over his skin. It was still smooth but the raised marks made me feel like I was touching some intricate design, some ornate piece of sculpted work that had no rhyme or rhythm. His skin was decorated with the chaos that was his past.

I leaned in close over his arm, inspecting every millimeter. With my face so close I could smell a different scent coming from every scar. They were muted but there. Only up close like this could you really smell the differences because any further the scents just all came together to make a fragrance that was exclusively Jasper; cinnamon, apples, and wood. I brought my face even closer so my nose and cheek were grazing his skin.

"Oh! I'm so sorry!" a voice exclaimed. I looked up just in time to see Irina turn her back from us as if to shield herself from something embarrassing. "I really didn't mean to interrupt. Just come home when you're done!"

Irina fled away and I just stared open mouthed. Neither Jasper nor I had heard her approach. I looked down at the way I had been touching his arm gently with my fingertips and rubbing my face against his skin.

I could only imagine what Irina thought she had walked in on.