A Shadow's Proposition
* X-Men and their world belong to Marvel
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Everyone finished their lunch and prepared to go back to their rooms to get their supplies for their next class. Well the others chatted amongst themselves, I worked up the nerve to talk to Rogue. As we entered the hallway, I decided this was the best time to try and talk to her.
"Uh, Rogue? C-can I talk to you a minute?" I asked hesitantly. Unless I have to be defensive or I known the person for years, I can be quite shy. She was older than me and I had no idea of how she would react to my offer. This could get awkward. "Please?"
She gave me a puzzled look before answering. "Um, sure, why not? I'll talk to y' guys later." She told her friends.
Jubilee looked at me hungrily; from the little time I spent at the mansion I already knew that she was the school's gossip queen.
My uncertainty must have showed on my face. Poitr, the giant from Serbia, gave me a encouraging smile and dragged his classmate away from us. I gave him a grateful smile before turning back to Rogue.
"Wait, no! Just give me a minute with them Petey! Aw, come on!" I heard Jubilee's protests as she was dragged away. The others left us without being psychically removed by the giant, but they gave us curious looks as they walked on.
"So, uh, what did y' want to talk about?" Rogue leaned up against the wall. Even leaning the older girl's height was well above mine.
"I-I want to help you." I stammered.
"You help meh?" Rogue couldn't keep her surprise (or her doubt) from her voice. I could understand that. She didn't know me, I was just the new charity case, mutant of the school.
"I-I," I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. "I know about your mutation and-"
I stopped, seeing the dark look she now had on her face. I could feel her start to get defensive, in my head. I could also feel her sadness.
"Uh-huh, and?"
"Like I said, I want to help you. And, and I really think I can do it." I tried to sound more confident.
"Y're a psychic, right? Like the professor." I could feel her anger. "So what? Y'll just root around mah head so that Ah won't want to touch other people? Make meh think that its normal to not have physical contact? Make me forgot what happened to my first boyfriend?"
"No! That wouldn't solve anything! I can help you by-"
"Listen, Ah don't know how much y' know about this place yet, or how much y' know
about y're own powers. But both the Professor and Ms. Grey have tried to help meh learn how to control mah powers and the voices in mah head. Y' can't help meh."
She started to turn away, so I grabbed her arm. Her bare arm.
"W-what are y' doing! Are y' crazy?" She screamed, yanking her arm out of my grasp.
"Rogue, I touched your bare skin." I said calmly.
She looked even more shocked. It took her a moment to realise that I hadn't been affected by her powers and she didn't have me swimming around her head like all the other people she ever touched. She slipped down to the floor. I too sat down, but gave her space.
"How did y' do that?" She whispered.
"You're right, I am a psychic. I don't really do the "rooting around in the mind" sort of thing, if I can help it. We're sort off the same in that perspective. When I do go into someone's mind, I have a piece of them in mine for the rest of my life. I know what it feels like to have other people's thoughts and memories screaming at you and you're defenceless against it." I said quietly.
"Then, how, how did y'-" She stuttered, looking at me in amazement.
"I can do shields." I explained. "Shields as thin as a hair. You see, at my old school we were doing this play, and there was this fighting scene. The main character, he was an awesome actor but was really crappy at stage fighting. He kept hitting the other actor or missing so far off that the scene looked bad. So, I came up with an idea. I had done shields before, mostly accidently, but I thought if I could create a shield thin enough that would protect the other actor but still make the scene look believable. It took four months, but eventually I got it."
"But, but Ah felt yah!" Rogue exclaimed.
"Yeah, that happens." I said. "The shield is non-existent, or rather, made up of psychic material. It is so thin that the other person thinks that they are making physical contact and I made the shield feel like human skin."
I paused, letting my words sink in before continuing. "Rogue, I know you can't control your powers. And I don't think I could help you learn to control them like Jean or Professor Xavier, but, if you want me to, I can make this shield for you. You could touch people, sort of."
"Yah, yah can really do that?" She inched closer to me.
"It will take some work, to make the shield stay while we're not close together. And I won't be able to cover all of you at first. Maybe your face and arms, or if you wanted to wear some clothing that reveals a little more. But I'm willing to try if you are."
"Ah could touch him…" Rogue said to herself, amazement shinning on her face. Her face soon turned mistrustful again. "If yah can do this, why haven't the professor or Jean tried this before? They are supposed to be the most powerful psychics on the planet! Yah're just a little girl, how could yah do something they can't"
"I don't know Rogue, maybe it just never came to their minds that the shield was an answer before?" She gave me a look. I knew that couldn't possibly be true, both were professionals and knew way more about mutants then I did. "Okay, I know that is a totally bullshit answer, but I can do this Rogue. Trust me."
Her green eyes met my silver ones, she gave a small nod.
"Great, we'll meet in our room after classes and we can start experimenting with the shield. Maybe you could ask Bobby to come along, if you want to have someone to test the shield on."
Rogue looked slightly confused. "Bobby?"
A sudden flash of a tall, muscled, man with auburn coloured hair entered my mind. A smile, such a beautiful smile. Red on black eyes. A Cajun accent. Memories of the man flew into my mind, memories that were not mine. An emotion so strong it made me weak. I was in love with this man.
"Yah alright, sugah?" Rogue's voice brought me back.
"Uh, uh," I stammered, trying to clear my head. It had happened again! This damn mutation did this to me again! "Yeah, I'm alright. Just tired I guess."
"Will y' be too tired to try the shield this afternoon, then?" The look she gave me was so sad, it made me promise that I would be fine by then and could still try the shield.
"Alright then." Rogue beamed at me. "Ah'd better head on to class, Storm is probably ready to kill me already. Fourth time late for history. Thank you so much-uh,"
"My name is Shadow." I supplied. I had almost told her my real name, the one my parents christened me with. I guess that mind connection we had a little while ago made let my guard down alittle.
Rogue gave an embarrassed smile and a wave as she hurried off to her class. I leaned against the wall and shut my eyes. Why can't I just be my own person? Why can't I just have my own mind and memories? Poor Rogue, she has to deal with the same thing. I just hope I can help her.
Who was that person she really loves? The one she cares so strongly for that vision to be slammed into my brain? I really have to work harder on my blocking, or else I'm sure to go mad.
My psychic powers alerted me of another presence in the hall, I turned to see Logan leaning against the wall, watching me.
"How long have you been there?" I asked quietly.
"Long enough. So you really think you can help Rogue, huh? You know, Chuck and Jean have been working with her for a very long time, what makes you think you can help her when they can't?" His gruff voice asked.
"I don't know why they haven't tried the shield." I stood my ground. I wasn't scared of the Wolverine like all the other students. "I know they're supposed to be the most powerful, but if they are, why haven't they done this shield? Why have they let her suffer!"
"I don't know any more than you do, kid. I just don't want you to get Rogue's hopes up only to have them crash down again. And I don't want you to hurt yourself; don't push yourself so far that you put everything you've got into something that just can't happen. If Chuck and Jean haven't tried this shield thing, than neither should you."
"Maybe they haven't because they can't do it." I muttered, forgetting about Wolverine's enhanced senses. "I have to go to the Med Bay, Dr. Grey wants some guy called Hank McCoy to look over me."
I left the Wolverine, hurrying off to the elevator to go down to the school's lower levels. I hate having to go to doctor's appointments and anything that resembles a hospital, but right now hating a check up would be easier to deal with than the thought of how much power I had. And if I could control it.
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