I can't remember when it was good.

Moments of happiness elude.

Maybe I just misunderstood

all of the love we left behind.

Watching the flash backs intertwine

memories I will never find,

so I'll love whatever you become,

and forget the reckless things we've done.

I think our lives have just begun.

I think our lives have just begun.

and I feel my world crumbling.

Feel my life crumbling.

Feel my soul crumbling away,

and falling away.

Falling away with you.

Staying awake to chase a dream.

Tasting the air you're breathing in.

I know I won't forget a thing.

Promise to hold you close and pray.

Watching the fantasies decay.

Nothing will ever stay the same.

Falling Away With You by Muse

Chapter numero seven. That's the extent of my Spanish. I'm reverting back to English.

We stayed at the pier for about an hour longer just standing there, Edward chatting away and me listening. I found out some pretty interesting things about Edward.

One: He hated, hated milk. Even chocolate milk. But he loved ceral. Dry ceral, of course.

Two: He has never seen Lord of the Rings. That one must change immediately.

Three: He broke his arm when he was five climbing a tree. Well at least we have some balance issues in common.

Before when I thought of talking to Edward my stomach clenched, my heart speeding just by the thought. But now that we are actually here, I realized something. I put to much pressure on this whole..situation. I expected Edward to just judge the shit out of me without giving him a chance. When in all reality, Edward and I had way more in common then I thought and I found myself relaxing. I hadn't been this relaxed since before the accident.

But that was something that still made me queasy. How would he react when I told him the one thing that holds me back from so much? Would he shy away like everyone else did? Like my dad did? Or would he just straight up tell me I'm horrible?

I don't know how Edward will react and I won't know until I finally grow some and talk to him about it. When he hears my secrets his will seem infinitely juvenile.

Edward was in the middle of a story of how he accidentally died Alice's hair orange when she was thirteen when I realized how late it really was. Street lights were on, the sun was setting, and while Charlie wasn't home and I didn't have to worry about curfew, I still didn't want to be driving home in the dark. My truck wasn't really all that reliable.

I pulled out my phone and typed Edward a message.

It's really late and I hate driving enough as it is, so I want to get home before it gets to dark. My truck isn't all that reliable.

"Do you want me to drive you home?" Edward asked. "We could come up and get it tomorrow."

As much as my heart thumped at the thought of riding home with Edward and then again tomorrow to get my truck, it wasn't the rational choice. I needed some time to myself anyways to collect my feelings.

Thanks, a lot. But it would be a waste of gas. I should be fine. Thanks though, again. Anyways, despite what I thought when you asked me to lunch I had a real nice time and I'm glad that I got the truth. That's all I ever wanted.

Edward smiled. "I'm glad you had a nice time and I'm glad to also finally have a friend other than Alice. I see her enough as it is at home."

I laughed. I'm glad to have a friend also.

Edward looked me at then, right into my eyes. And it wasn't just a normal look, it was the look. The look someone gets when they're searching for something inside a person. The look that make your heart swell (again, for the thousandth time) and your mind go fuzzy. It was my favorite look.

It was windy by the pier and my hair was a mess. Edward reached up and got a piece of my hair between to fingers and placed it behind my ear. His hands were soft. Much to soft to be boy's hands and I found myself blushing and looking down. Surprised by his intimate gesture.

I pointed to my truck and he nodded and we walked towards it. My hand was dangling by my side as I walked. I felt something grab my hand I looked down to see Edward's hand around mine. I looked at him and he glanced at me smiling a smirky smile. Almost as if he was daring me to push his hand away, which I was not at all planning to do.

And so we walked. Hand in hand. To my truck. A smile on my face. The whole time.

The walk didn't take forever like I wanted to. I wasn't sure how we would bid our goodbyes. I was leaving it all up to Edward who seemed to be controlling our physical side tonight.

I turned to him, his hand still grasping mine.

"I guess, I'll see you Monday?"

I nodded, a little dejected. Monday was 24 hours away. I didn't want this new closeness that we had between us to go away. 24 hours is a long time. Long enough to think about what happened tonight and change your mind.

"Do," Edward started, sounding nervous. "Do you think I could have your number?"

I immediately reached my hand out asking for his phone. After everything that just happened he was nervous about asking for my number? I found that remarkably adorable.

He gave me his phone and I typed it in fast and handed it back to him smiling. He smiled back at me.

And here comes the big finale.

Edward leaned in. I thought he was going for lips but he changed his direction and headed for my cheek placing a small kiss there, lingering on my cheek for only a moment. But it was long enough for me to forget how to function properly.

He pulled back and I had a goofy grin on my face.

"Was that okay?" He asked unsure.

I nodded eagerly, a little to eagerly, I might add. Edward chuckled at me and pulled me into a hug.

"I'm going to follow you home just to be sure you make it, okay? I'd hate for you to go away now that we finally have this."

His chivalry made me swoon and I felt like Jane in Pride and Prejudice.

Ever since I was little girl I'd always wanted a boy to sweep me off my feet. To go the whole nine yards and do everything. I was an old fashioned girl. The boy made all the first moves. I assumed long ago I'd never get that boy but now, I'm not so sure.

I nodded into Edward. We were still hugging and it felt great. I felt secure and… desired.

I am now a big, big fan of hugs.

But like all things, the hug had to end. We both pulled away. I waved goodbye to Edward and hopped into my truck.

I sat there for a moment. Just letting the whole night sink in.

What a great day. Probably the best days in a while. The whole drive home I had the stupidest grin on my face. I would glance back at my rearview mirror and see Edward behind me. Always. Never once did I look back and not see him there.

When I pulled up to my house, I got out and walked to my door and unlocked it. I waved towards Edward one final time before I walked in.

I closed the door behind me and just slid down on the floor. Replaying the whole day in my head. It's time like there where I wish I had a repeat button.

I went upstairs threw my junk on my bed and went to do my nightly duties. I found myself humming a very merry tune while I got ready for bed.

It's weird how someone you just met could change your attitude so greatly, in just one day. Almost to surreal.

When I got done, I walked into my room and checked my phone. I figured Charlie would have called but of course he didn't. He was never one for the parental duties. That was more of Renee's style.

Renee.

I still needed to tell Edward. And I would. Monday.

My queasiness came back. Would me telling him alter our new found relationship?

I was just staring at the ceiling, my thoughts going in circles when my phone beeped.

It was a text message. I hadn't had one in so long, I forgot what the noise sounded like.

It was from Edward.

Hey, so I just wanted to say again that today was great. And that I hate Sundays. I'll see you Monday.

Sweet Dreams, Bella.

Edward.

I saved the message. I felt like an obsessed teenage girl. But that's exactly what I was.

I reread the message a few more times before I finally closed my phone and attempted to fall asleep.

I awoke Sunday morning with a smile on my face and the memory of yesterday. I was surprised to find that my voice was back and sounded normal. I guess I had just had a twenty four hour bug.

I spent the day cleaning and finishing up homework. When Charlie got home I fixed fish for dinner and joined him in the living room for the first time in almost two years.

He was surprised when I sat down and he tried to make small talk. I gave standard answers, leaving Edward out of course.

But I wanted to talk to Charlie about something. I wanted to talk about Renee.

The topic of my mother had been taboo in this house for so long I wasn't sure how to bring her up. Do I casually say, "Hey dad, can we talk about my dead mother?"

I think not.

I instead decided to ease into the conversation.

"Dad, I wanted to talk to you about something."

Charlie slowly turned his head towards me. I could see the wheels in his head turning as he tried to figure out what I was going to say. I had a feeling he thought I was going to say I was pregnant.

"It's about mom," I said quickly.

The wheel stopped immediately and his face turned blank. "What about her?" He asked quietly.

How do you ask your dad if he blames you for your mom's death? How?

"Do you," I started but I couldn't finish. I paused for moment, breathing in and out and trying to relax myself. "Do you blame me?"

Charlie looked confused. "Blame you for what?"

"For what happened," I said quietly looking down.

I heard Charlie sigh and I looked up. "Is that what you think, Bella? That I blame you for what happened?"

I didn't answer. I couldn't answer.

"What happened was an accident. Something neither of us could control. You being there had nothing to do with it. And I do not blame you at all. And I don't want you to ever think that, okay?"

"Okay dad," I said and I went to get up. Charlie surprised me getting up also and walking towards me.

He pulled me into a hug and I just let go. I just cried my heart out to my dad. I mean, if you can't cry in front of your dad, who can you cry in front of?

We sat there for a while, both crying. We pulled away and my dad looked at me.

"I think we both needed that," He said.

"I think so too."

Monday morning I awoke with energy. Much more energy I'd ever had in the mornings. I was excited, nervous, anxious, and happy all at once.

Excited to see Edward. Nervous about what people would say about us. Anxious about telling him my secret. And happy about having someone to confide in.

I took extra time getting ready this morning. I put more thought into my outfit and more time into my hair.

I drove to school as fast as my truck would allow, practically bouncing in my seat. I felt like such a girl, but I really didn't give a shit.

I pulled into the school parking lot and immediately saw Edward's car and a space beside it. But only because Edward was standing in the space.

As soon as he saw me he moved out of the way and I pulled in. He walked to my side of the truck and opened my door for me.

I climbed out.

"Hi." I said smiling at him.

"So she speaks," Edward said smiling at me. "Hi."

We just stood there staring at each other and smiling.

"I'm ready to tell you my secret," I said out of the blue.

"Right now?" Edward asked, confused.

"Well, today or this afternoon. I thought about it yesterday and I think you have a right to know."

"Are you sure?" Edward asked concern in his eyes.

I nodded, positive. "You let me on your secrets and I should do the same."

Edward smiled at me once more and grabbed my hand and led me towards my first class.

Of course people stared at us. I knew that would be an issue. I tried my very best to block it out. I felt Edward squeeze my hand I felt it was him silently telling me he was here, and that made me feel all the more better.

The morning went by quickly and I was grateful for that. Edward met me outside of my last class before lunch and we walked together yet again, hand in hand. And people still stared. I'd yet to hear anyone talk about us and no one had said anything to me either. I hope it lasts.

Edward and I went through the lunch line and I started to walk towards Edward's table. But he tugged on my arm and led me to an empty table quite a bit of ways from his regular one. It was actually my table we were sitting at.

"What are you doing? Don't you want to go sit with your sister?" I asked, confused.

Edward shook his head, sitting down. "I wanted to sit here, with you. All by ourselves." He said smiling at me.

I couldn't help but smile back and sit down with him.

We chatted again through lunch laughing at embarrassing stories and just talking. I never wanted it to end but I knew it had too. So when the lunch bell rang and we were walking towards our separate classes I turned to Edward.

"Do you know where the diner is on Lane Road?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Well, I figured that would be a good place to discuss things."

Realization crossed Edward's face. "Would you like me to meet you there right after school?"

"That would be lovely."

Edward nodded and smiled leaning in again to kiss my cheek. He pulled back and gave him the biggest grin I could.

"I'll see you there." I said breathlessly waving at him as I walked away.

He smiled and waved also and walked away. When I was out of his sight I touched my cheek and closed my eyes.

Maybe Monday's are better than hugs…maybe.

Before I knew it I was pulling into the diner and walking in to wait on Edward.

He had texted me and told me he had to take Alice home and then he'd meet me here, so I had time to get my story straight.

I kept repeating into my head. You can do it. You can do it. You can do it.

But I wasn't really believing myself. I was getting more nervous by the second and when I saw Edward's car pull up I stilled.

I watched him walk in, eyes looking for me. When he found me he quickly walked over, smiling.

He sat down and I couldn't breathe.

Here goes nothing.

AN: Longest chapter yet... I think? Well it's my favorite. It only took me like an hour to write this! I sat down and words flowed. and maybe they went a little fast.. but whatever. They're not even official yet. just flirty. there's only two chapters left with an epilogue. I'm not one to drag things out. This isn't edited so please excuse the mistakes.

So... PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW :)

...please?

doctorwholove. ;)