Blurry
by Lethe Seraph
Chapter Two: Hindsight (A question in your eyes)
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Author's (rambling) Notes that Can be Skipped without Great Consequence
Listening to: Yanni (Live at the Acropolis tracks, as well as One Man's Dream)
Pros: There are no words to distract. The music is very smooth and beautiful, and helps to capture serene moments as well as melancholy and uplifting ones.
Cons: It's really hard to get into the anger or confusion of a character. That kind of sucks, because I'm writing from Jou's perspective this time…
I suppose that the main influence on Yugi and Yami's conversations with each other, though I didn't realize it at the time, was that of the conversations between Nafai (was his name Nafai? It's been too long) and the Oversoul in Orson Scott Card's Homecoming series. The Oversoul penetrated Nafai's thoughts, introducing its comments and replies to Nafai directly into his mind. It was only through experience that Nafai could differentiate between his own thoughts and the Oversoul's. Though Yami's voice is more distinct, that is what comes to mind when I reread the first chapter. They are almost one person, and it takes sleepy Yugi a moment to realize that Yami is the one reassuring him. I apologize if the lack of distinction (by way of slashes, quotation marks, or the usual separators) between their 'voices' confused any of you.
As some of you may know, I rather enjoy finding a 'theme' to create chapter titles around. This one is rather obvious, and will become yet more obvious to you as chapters are added. You should be able to figure it out already, though.
It's a painful thing, wanting to work on a particular fic, but having the (half-finished already!) chapter unavailable to work with. What if the inspiration leaves?
While working on a fanfic, I will often go back and reread the chapters that I've done already. This is to keep all information fresh in my mind, so that I don't make any grievous errors (such as the time I forgot, in One Plus One, what days the protagonist was tutored on, and accidentally gave him a detention on one of those days!). Sometimes, however, after reading the chapters, I begin to despair. How can I possibly follow up on a certain something? How did I write that? Sometimes it feels like I can't possibly live up to the intrigue of a particularly well-written chapter, and some of you may identify with this feeling. (I haven't felt it too often, because I don't write good chapters to begin with.) Then there's the perfectionist side of me. I will always, always, notice something that doesn't seem quite right, whether in wording or rhythm, but I'll have no idea how to fix it. Upon realizing this, I'll add something else to explain it away. Most of the time, this deteriorates from the piece. Upon going back a few days later, I'll realize that, hey, I was right the first time!
The thing that helps me the most, I find, is simply waiting. If I finish a chapter, I'll leave it alone for a few hours or a day, depending on how impatient I am. Before posting it, I'll give it a final once-over. A lot of the time, I'll find an error that I hadn't noticed while writing it.
And why did I just talk about all of that? Frankly, I have no idea.
Perhaps I should actually be working on the chapter.
Many thanks to all of you who have reviewed. You make the sun shine on a cloudy day.
Na no da.
End Rambling Notes (did you skip?)
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He was glad that the weather had remained cool.
Lately, Jonouchi's father had been coming home more and more inebriated each evening, and took out his frustrations on the nearest person available – namely, Jou. Now, he could hold his own in a fight, but he couldn't always emerge without injury. A few bruises here, some nicks there, and Jou was thankful for the long sleeves of his school uniform.
Not that his dad was an evil person or anything. He was always very sorry in the morning, bemoaning his aching head and apologizing to Jou's retreating back as Jou went off to deliver the paper. Every now and then, he would come home sober enough to be pleasant, but those days were becoming fewer and farther between. Jonouchi remembered the lively banter that they had shared during dinner on one of those days. His dad really was a pretty smart person. The only problem was, his dad had a tendency to be laid off a little too often. Lately, the pattern had been that he would drink to make himself feel better, be refused a job because he arrived to the interview a little tipsy, and drink a bit more until everything was fine and dandy again. Circular, really. A few times, Jou had tried to take matters into his own hands, dumping bottles of whiskey and wine when his father wasn't looking and replacing their contents with vinegar, or vegetable oil, or whatever was readily available. This had only served to make his father go out and buy yet more, depleting their supplies and making it even harder to pay the rent. Jou had stopped that particular form of protest very quickly.
Jonouchi placed the small tube of cream back into the cupboard, noting that he would need more soon if his father's activities kept up; this was the brand that seemed to soothe the pain from his injuries the most quickly. It wasn't good to go around wincing when Honda slapped him on the shoulder, or when he grazed the door jamb on his way out of the classroom. He closed the door of the medicine cabinet, examining his face in its mirror. Good – his long hair hid that one mark on his forehead. Bangs, while annoying, had their uses at times. His friends knew that Jou's father wasn't quite safe, but they didn't realize how often he was unsafe. Jou intended to keep it that way. He didn't need help from anyone.
He was glad that the weather had remained cool.
-
"What?!"
"Nothing against you, kid. This is just more cost-efficient." The elderly man shrugged. "We lay you off, make Keiiji here go your route as well as his, we're saving money. Simple as that. Okay?"
"Yes, sir," muttered Jonouchi. "Thanks so much."
"Sorry. You were a good worker. See you around."
"I'm sure." Jonouchi stalked out of the room, slouching and wishing that he had something to kick. What was he going to do now? Maybe he could join Anzu at the Burger World. Wouldn't that be a sight? He imagined himself in one of its brightly colored and cheaply manufactured uniforms, shivering at the thought. …He wasn't that desperate yet. He hoped he never would be.
What a horrible Monday morning. At least it wasn't raining or anything.
…It didn't start raining.
Dammit. If he was going to be miserable, he at least wanted to be miserable in style.
Well, now he had a good half-hour to kill before he had to make his way to school. If he knew one thing, it was that he wasn't going to go back home. Where to?
If he started off now, he could get to Honda's place and maybe hang out with him. Then they could go on Honda's bike, plenty of time to spare.
"Sounds like a plan," he said to himself in mock cheer, turning the corner. As he did, a limousine slid sleekly past; he whistled quietly. That looked like the kind of limo Kaiba would ride in. Hey, it probably was. If only he had had something to throw at the time, right? It wasn't like it would be a major nuisance to Kaiba, either. The kid was rich enough that a scratch would hardly dent his mood at all. Did anything like that faze him?
Probably not. It would still have made Jou feel better if he had been able to throw something, though. Kaiba was enough of a jerk that he deserved it. If Jou had had the nerve, he would have TP'ed and egged Kaiba's place on Halloween. Well, the nerve and the knowledge of exactly where he lived, anyway.
And, while he was dreaming, a ticket out of Domino. If he were to pull something like that, he would need it; he could only imagine what a large target Kaiba was for the news corporations to hit.
As it was, he hadn't had something to throw, and the limousine had gone by. No problem. It was a lousy Monday morning anyway; just one more thing to add to the list.
Honda's house … he would have to turn left here, and then right.
Kaiba was such a jerk. Jou didn't understand why or how anyone could be like that; he had seen the way Kaiba treated his younger brother, after all. How could anyone that caring and devoted … unless maybe he spent all of his devotion on his little brother and had no nice feelings left for anyone else. That could be it. Definitely. Jou supposed that, yeah, he kind of resembled a dog just a little bit, with his long floppy hair and preferred accessory (dog tags were all the rage, weren't they?), but did Kaiba have to keep on driving it in like that? He repeated it so often, Jou marveled at the fact that Kaiba still remembered his actual name. Or did he? Well, he had called him Jonouchi a few times before, so Jou guessed so. Would it kill him to try to make friends? Goodness knew Jonouchi had tried, even if only for Yugi's sake. Everything about Kaiba just grated at Jou's nerves. Yugi had said once, laughingly, that it was because they were both so alike.
"You're both so devoted to everything you do," Yugi had explained. Jonouchi could remember the look on his face, having seen it so many times. A kind of lopsided grin, his wide amethyst eyes giving it an endearing, charming appearance. He also knew that Yugi had been trying for a teasing look at the time, and failing. He was just sooo cute. "I mean, he has his brother, you have your sister, right?"
"But how else are we alike?" challenged Jonouchi, disbelieving. "We're nearly complete opposites."
"Well, you're both really proud," Yugi had said. Honda had been snickering behind Yugi's back, nodding. "And you both try your best at everything you do, right?"
"Yeah…" said Jou reluctantly. Then he got back his fire. "But I'm not an ass like he is!"
"Sure you're not," Honda had joked.
Grr.
Jonouchi turned right, and Honda's house came into view. An average home; not impressively large, but not small, either, with a well-tended lawn and a small mat in front of the door. Upon reaching the house, he stepped onto the lawn, picked up a handily available rock, and tossed it at Honda's window. He waited a moment, tapping his foot impatiently, before reaching down to get another rock-
"Hey! What the hell do you think you're – Jou? What's up?"
"Let me in, would you? I didn't know whether your parents were awake," called Jou, keeping his voice just low enough for Honda to hear.
"All right. Give me a sec."
Jou waited.
The door opened. "What brings you here on this fine morning, Jou?" greeted Honda, stepping aside to allow Jou entry. "And what makes you think that you can try to break my window like that?"
"I didn't throw the rock that hard," said Jou. He sighed tiredly. "Got fired."
Honda's eyes widened. "From your job? That sucks. Well, man, I don't know what to tell you."
"How about a bit of sympathy?" Jou suggested.
Honda grinned, leading Jou up the stairs to his bedroom. "Nah. So, you wanted to mooch a ride to school?"
"How'd you guess?" said Jou dryly. "Man, you haven't cleaned your room since the last time I was here, have you?"
"Before that, definitely. But you can't be picky; I've seen your house."
"Good point."
"I thought it was. Well, I'm ready to go. You need anything to eat or anything?"
Jonouchi lit up. "What do you have?"
"Heh. Should have figured. Let's go check, huh?"
"Score!"
-
"Maybe now I can get some sleep," mumbled Jou as the two made their way into the classroom. "We still have some time, right?"
Honda nodded. "Yeah. We even beat Anzu and Yugi for a change."
"Mm." Jonouchi had flopped onto his chair, head hitting the desk almost immediately. Let Kaiba make fun of him …
… he would just …
"Honda! Jou! Morning!" chirped a familiar voice, dragging Jou forcefully out of his stupor. Jou glanced up blearily and saw the owner of said voice making his way towards him, Anzu in the lead. "How were your weekends?"
"Sucked," muttered Jou, at the same time Honda replied, "All right."
Yugi sat. "Huh? What happened, Jou?"
Jou shrugged, stretching and sitting up straight. He gave Honda a quick, warning glance: I didn't go to your house. I went back home. "I need to find a new newspaper to deliver. They decided that some guy in a truck would do a better job than I did."
Honda grinned. He had caught the glance, and responded as expected. "That's too bad," he said easily, patting Jou's shoulder. "Don't worry about it."
"I'm not."
"Well, that's good, then." Anzu smiled. "There's another job out there waiting for you, Jou. You'll find it soon."
Jonouchi nodded, sighing inwardly. He loved Anzu and all, but jeez … sometimes, her words really didn't help at all.
Then-
Looking around the room as the bell rang, he noticed something.
When he had turned in Kaiba's direction, Kaiba had shifted his gaze to the front of the class.
Had he been … listening?
-
Class ended.
Being the typical Jou, he had to confront Kaiba immediately, and did so with pleasure.
"Get off of me," said Seto quietly, anger tinting his tone. "What do you want, mutt?"
Jonouchi released Kaiba's uniform. The crowd that was beginning to grow around them heaved a collective sigh. "Why were you watching me, Kaiba?" said Jonouchi, demanding.
A small quirk of the eyebrow. "Who said I was watching you?"
"I saw you. Why were you watching me?" Jonouchi took a step forward, glaring up into Kaiba's eyes. "Don't tell me you take an interest in the 'mutt' after all," he taunted.
"Never," said Kaiba. "You must have been dreaming. It seems like you're the one to take an interest, dog."
Jou flushed as members of the crowd tittered. He would not be made to look the fool again. Kaiba had been looking at him, damn it! But … he had no evidence.
Kaiba smirked at Jonouchi's silence. "If you'll excuse me, then, I have a class to go to." He brushed past.
Jonouchi whirled around and seized Kaiba's sleeve. "I didn't excuse you," he growled.
In a flash, Seto had grabbed Jonouchi's free pinky finger in a pincer grip. He curled it and tightened his hold sharply.
"Shit!" cursed Jonouchi, stiffening. "That's not fair!"
"And accosting me in the hallway is? I don't believe that looking at a person is a crime," said Kaiba calmly, still forcing Jou's finger into the most painful of positions. Somehow, he managed to seem impressive even then.
"Let – go!" Jonouchi cried out. Then, something clicked. "So you were looking!"
"I never said that I was." Kaiba released Jou abruptly, gliding away without even a glance back. The crowd dispersed promptly.
"Damn you, Kaiba…" snarled Jonouchi, nursing his wounded finger. "One day, I'll … I'll…"
You'll what? whispered Kaiba's voice.
I don't know. But it'll be good. Embarrassing me like that … saying that I'm attracted to … it'll be really good.
You can't touch me.
I will touch you, one day soon. And you'll be paid back triple for every time you humiliated me.
"I swear it."
-
Jonouchi was hungry.
Why was Yugi taking so long to get his lunch out?! Usually, the kid wasn't this bad. Something must be wrong.
He placed a hand on Yugi's back tentatively. "Uh, Yugi? You all right, bud?"
"Yeah. But … um …"
Yup. Something was up. Well, he was a good friend. He would have to find out. "What is it?"
"I'd like to, uh, talk to you about something. Alone."
Uh-oh.
Looked like he would have to wait a bit longer to eat his lunch.
"Sure. Okay. Roof?" he suggested.
Yugi nodded, taking out his bag.
The two made their way out of the classroom.
-
"I've been watching you lately," said Yugi, hesitant.
Jonouchi's heart thudded in his chest. He considered asking Yugi, What about Anzu? I thought you liked her, but decided against it. He thought he knew what Yugi meant. "In what way?"
Yugi flushed. "Not – not like that – just – you know, as a friend."
Yup. Jou had hit it on the nose. "Oh. All right. So, what's the problem?"
"Well … I, um … noticed something. Something about the way you've been looking at ... the world."
The world, now, eh? What, did Yugi dislike his views on politics?
And then Jonouchi realized – Yugi might be talking about something a bit closer to home.
Or … something in his home.
Like his dad.
He slumped down, appetite lost. It didn't matter how long they sat there now. "Has anyone else figured out ... whatever you're talking about?" said Jonouchi quietly.
"I don't think so. That's why I wanted to talk to you alone."
Praise be to the powers above. Yugi really was a good friend. "Thanks, man."
They were both silent.
How had Yugi figured it out? Jonouchi had done everything the same as always, hadn't he? He had thought that, if anyone realized just how bad his dad was, it would be Honda. The two spent the most time together, after all. Jou slept over at Honda's house regularly – it didn't seem strange when he dropped by Honda's place rather than going home. He wasn't afraid of his father, of course – he just didn't want to be injured. The more injuries there were, the more chances that someone would notice, and as bad as his dad was sometimes, he was still a good guy. Jonouchi didn't want to be taken away from his dad. What would happen then?
He realized that Yugi had begun to speak again. "So …"
So what? He wasn't going to tell anyone now, was he?
"…Are you going to get glasses soon?"
He was jolted back up as though a lightning rod had been jammed through his spine. "What?!"
"Are you going to get glasses?" repeated Yugi confusedly. "What did you think I meant?"
"N-nothing – wait, you think I need glasses?!"
Yugi blinked. "You do need glasses, Jou. I told you, I've been watching you, and you keep on squinting at the-"
"No way. My vision is perfect, man. You've gotta be mistaken."
Yugi shook his head. "I'm not. You have to check with an eye doctor."
"No way. No-" Jonouchi cursed – "way."
Yugi winced, hitting Jou's head lightly. "Watch your mouth. Yes way."
"But … Yuug, I was just fired. I can't come up with the money for something like this, and I'm not about to ask for it."
"No problem at all. I think that Grandpa thinks of you like another grandkid, after all the time he spent training you in Duel Monsters-"
"No! I can't let you guys-"
"We'll pay for it anyway. Come on, at least accept it."
Jonouchi was torn.
"We're friends, right? You would do the same for me, if you could. So can't you…"
"Yugi…" Jonouchi struggled. It wasn't right. It wasn't fair. Why couldn't he ever help Yugi out?
"And you do help me, Jou, before you say something like that. You've helped me a lot. Come on, Jou."
"Damn it! It's not fair-"
"It's okay. It's perfectly all right. And," added Yugi, "the longer you take to act, the worse your vision could get."
Ooh. He had a point.
"…Fine."
"All right, we'll set up an appointment for you." Yugi smiled, satisfied. He was actually one conniving little kid, wasn't he?
I guess that dark half of his is rubbing off on him.
-
As the two walked to the cafeteria in silence, Jonouchi mused.
Seriously? Do I squint that much? I think my eyesight is fine.
All right, let's check it out. Read that sign.
Yeah, I can read it.
Read that one.
Yup.
All right, squint. Anything look better?
Stop squinting – whoa.
Whoaaaaa.
-
And so, Jonouchi was convinced.