How To Be Yourself When You're Not Yourself

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By: plus2-minus1-brilliance

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Chapter Five - Sad Ninjas

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Leonardo was not happy. He shouldn't have sent Raph and Mikey out by themselves. He'd known that from minute one, but he'd let them go anyway, because they'd both seemed so eager. And now, three hours later, he was cursing his soft side. Cursing himself for believing them when they'd promised to behave. Leonardo should have known better.

"Where the hell are they?" he asked Donatello anxiously as he paced back and forth in front of the coffee table.

Donatello, who'd been curled up on the couch dozing, lifted his head to look at his eldest brother. "I'm sure they're fine…just wandering around the City…checking out the sights…" he mumbled sleepily.

"They promised!" Leonardo said.

"Hmm…" was all Donatello could manage.

Leonardo made a noise that was somewhere between a growl and an exasperated sigh and plopped down on the opposite end of the couch from Donatello.

"They'd better be home soon…" he said, his tone hinting strongly that Raphael and Michelangelo would wish they'd never even heard of home when they finally got back.

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From the time he'd been dragged into the police cruiser to now, nearly four hours later, Michelangelo had gone from scared to annoyed to pretty pissed off and was now settling on just too tired to care.

When they'd arrived at the Police Station, Steve the cop had sat them down at his desk, and then disappeared with the other two. Raphael had muttered something about stupid, cliché police tactics, and then had proceeded to glare at everything and everyone that passed into his vision for the next few hours.

Michelangelo had seen Steve, Teddy, and the other one (who'd he'd figured out was named Peter) wandering around, seemingly aimlessly. He even thought he'd noticed them laughing at him and Raph. Mentioning this to his brother, Raphael had just snorted and said they were "fucking assholes." Michelangelo had spent the next half hour or so contemplating that phrase.

"This is bullshit," Raphael said suddenly. "We could report them for this."

"Oh yeah, I'm sure the police chief would just love to hear from arrestees how poor the service here is," Michelangelo retorted.

"You forget, we're innocent," Raphael snapped back.

"Can you prove it?" Michelangelo asked.

Raphael didn't reply, just went back to glaring at a potted plant in a corner of the office. Michelangelo huffed, crossed his arms, and glared at his bare feet. At some point during their wait, he'd checked his feet, and they actually had a few little cuts on them from the gravel. Stupid police officers, couldn't even have let them keep the shoes…

"Enjoying your wait?" asked Steve, sitting down at the desk they'd been sat next to. He was smiling smugly.

"Well, I wouldn't have said no to a drink, but other than that," Raphael said, false sweetness in his voice.

"Don't get fresh with me, son," Steve said, pointing a finger threateningly at him. "I've got some questions for you."

"Thrilling," Michelangelo muttered. He was beyond caring if he upset the police - they'd upset him enough to deserve a little payback.

Steve glared, but otherwise ignored the comment. "First, state your names."

"Raphael."

"Michelangelo."

Steve gave them a look. "Your real name, son," he said to Michelangelo.

"That is my real name. The name my father gave me. Doesn't get more real than this."

"Fine. Last names?"

"Um…what is it Raph?" Michelangelo turned to Raphael, who just shrugged. "It's on the tip of my tongue, really…Something about ham? Ham and tomatoes…Oh! Hamato! Our last name is Hamato."

"You guys don't look Chinese to me," Steve said.

Raphael rolled his eyes again. "It's Japanese," he said, sounding for all the world like he would have loved to add "you dick" to the end of the statement.

Steve just gave him a look that said, quite sarcastically, "I care, really," before asking, "So you're saying you're brothers?"

"Yup, since birth. At least, we think," Michelangelo amended. They really never had figured out if they were really related.

"You think?"

"We're adopted," Raphael said.

"Ages?"

"We're both sixteen," responded Michelangelo.

"What's your address?"

Again, Raphael and Michelangelo exchanged a glance, this time both of them shrugging.

"We don't have one?" Michelangelo finally said, unsure.

"Homeless?"

"In a manner of speaking," Michelangelo confirmed.

"That would explain the wardrobe," Steve said, smirking. "So where'd you get the money?"

"We earned it," Raphael said. "We told you that already."

"Earned it how?"

"Odd jobs. We have a brother that does tech support, and we help our friends with things sometimes and they pay us for it," Michelangelo answered.

"Tech support?" Steve sounded very suspicious.

"Yeah, you know, helps people with their computer problems. He's super smart."

"I'm sure…"

"Let me guess," interjected Raph, "you were expecting us to say 'drug dealing' or 'hustling'? Maybe 'selling stolen goods'?"

"Yeah, that sounds about right. Especially considering we caught you stealing."

"But we weren't stealing! We were just shopping at an inopportune time! We fully planned to leave money for the goods received, all right!" Michelangelo practically shouted.

"No, it's not all right," Steve said with a hard glare. "You broke the law, and that's never okay."

"All you've got is breaking and entering, and if the manager doesn't press charges, you've got nothin'," Raphael stated, crossing his arms defiantly.

Steve glared some more. "What's your phone number?"

"We just told we're homeless, what makes you think we've got a phone?" Raphael asked with an eye roll.

"Why would you need that, anyway?" Michelangelo asked nervously.

"So I can call your parents to come get you," was the terse reply.

"Oh, um…our dad is, um…out of town?" Michelangelo tried.

"Really?" asked Steve. "Now why do I get the feeling you're lying?"

"I couldn't say," Michelangelo said.

"What's your father's name?"

"Hamato Yoshi," Raphael replied.

"I thought you said Hamato was your last name?"

"It is."

"Then don't you mean Yoshi Hamato?"

"No."

"Don't get smart with me!"

"I'm not."

"What he means," cut in Michelangelo, before the cop tried to hit Raphael, "is that, in Japanese, last names go first. So that's how he says his name, which means that's how we say it."

"Right, well, you just sit tight while I look into this," Steve said, getting up and walking away.

"…Well that could have gone better," Michelangelo said conversationally. "Such a pleasant man, don't you agree?"

Raphael glared at him for a second, but then stopped when he noticed Michelangelo looked close to tears. He sighed deeply.

"We are so fucked."

"You think? He's not gonna find anything on Hamato Yoshi, since Hamato Yoshi doesn't technically exist in America…"

"And then they'll think we're lying."

"…We kind of are."

"Yeah, and what's gonna happen when they figure that out?"

"I dunno…don't suppose the answer is 'let us go'?"

"No, Mikey, I don't think it is."

"But they can't just keep us here for the rest of our lives…right? I mean, they can't put us in jail for lying, can they?"

Raphael shrugged. "Not for more than a day."

"But they can't prove we committed any crimes, so they can't keep us for that, right?"

"Right."

"So then they have to just let us go!"

"One would hope."

"Ugh…this is so bogus."

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"They're still not home, then?" Donatello asked, rubbing his eyes and sitting up. He looked over at his eldest brother, who was sitting stiffly on the couch, arms crossed, glaring at the television as if it had deeply insulted him.

"No," Leonardo replied stonily. "Seven hours, and they're still gone."

"…Do you think they're in trouble?"

Leonardo shrugged. He had originally believed that they'd just taken off to tour New York City, and so had just been angry at them. But after a while, he'd reasoned with himself that as mischievous as the two brothers could be, they weren't stupid, and they wouldn't push their luck that much. So worry had set in, and thoughts of all the terrible things that could have happened to them crossed through his brain.

Now he truly hoped it was just them goofing off.

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Two more hours passed, and Raphael could see out a distant window that the sun had fully risen. He honestly couldn't remember ever being up at this time of day. So maybe he was really asleep right now, and this whole fiasco was just a dream…

"Leo and Donnie are pro'lly freaking out…" Michelangelo said quietly, then stifled a yawn.

"Only about you. They're actually starting plans for the 'Raph's Finally Gone' party, which will commence just as soon as you get back home."

Michelangelo snorted. "Can I get your room?"

"Sure. As long as Leo don't get it."

"I wonder if they'll send out a search party for me…Get Casey and April, scour the City…Ya think?"

"Definitely. Shame you technically don't exist, or they could come here to report you missing and find you."

"Yeah, shame. That'd just be so ironic…We'd all have a nice laugh, and the whole situation would be just a funny story for future generations."

"Yeah…" Raphael agreed, trying to muster up a bit of a chuckle now. Any chances of one left him, though, as he saw their friendly neighborhood cop walking back over to them "Oh, goody, here comes Steve…"

"According to my sources," Steve began, a smug smile on his lips, "there is no such person as Hamato Yoshi."

"I'm sorry, did we forget to mention he's an illegal alien?" Michelangelo asked, mock worry taking over his features. "How silly of us!"

Peter glared. "Since there's no record of your supposed father, and since you don't seem willing to cooperate and tell us the truth, we have no choice but to hand you over to Child Services."

"Whoa, what? Child Services? Just let us go home, you bastard!" Raphael fumed, standing suddenly.

Peter stood as well, and grabbed for his baton. "Sit back down!" he ordered.

"I've been sitting for seven fucking hours, asshole! And that's it, I'm going home, just try and stop me! C'mon Mikey!"

Raphael grabbed Michelangelo by the arm and dragged him out of his seat. They got all of ten steps before five police officers surrounded them, including Teddy and Peter.

"Don't do anything stupid, boy," Peter said.

Raphael growled angrily, sizing up each opponent. He was tired, weak, and a little uncoordinated, but he was also pissed off. He could take them…

"Raph, please don't! They'll win and we'll get thrown in jail for sure," Michelangelo pleaded.

"Mikey, we're fucking ninjas!" Raphael spat back.

"Yes, but I'm a physically and emotionally drained ninja who's about to start crying! Please, let's just do what they want."

Raphael glanced around once more at the policemen and women surrounding them. There were now about eleven of them, and most of them had their batons out now.

"Fine!" he growled out, turning around and going back to his seat.

Michelangelo breathed a sigh of relief and followed suit, smiling a little apologetically at some of the nicer looking officers. Steve sat back down as well, his smile, if anything, smugger.

"Good choice, boys," he said. "The Child Services Representative is on her way. Shouldn't be too much longer a wait."

"I hope you get stabbed brutally," Raphael told him, looking like he'd love to be the one with the knife.

"Temper, temper, now. I'll be sure to tell them to get you a psych evaluation," Steve said, and then walked away once more.

"If I see that man again, he's so fucking dead."

"Maybe you could use a psych evaluation…" Michelangelo muttered sulkily.

:::

"Leo, answer the phone, please?" Donatello called out to his eldest brother.

It was probably just Casey, calling for Raph (since Casey and April were the only people who ever called them), and he had no time to talk to anyone right now. His full attention was on trying to find a way to locate his missing brothers. Not that he was getting much of anywhere, of course.

Leonardo sighed. He'd been attempting to enter a meditative state for a good hour now, but it just wasn't working. Never in his life had he had so much trouble with it, save for maybe the first few times he'd tried, back when he was eight. Leonardo knew it was just because he wasn't used to his new body. Well, and the fact that he was scared for his brothers, but he wouldn't admit that bit to anyone but himself.

Getting up and going over to the payphone, Leonardo picked it up, alternating between hoping it was Raph and Mikey and trying not to get his hopes up.

"Yes?" he said into the receiver.

"Hi, this is Carol Watterman at Child Services; I'm calling for Mr. Hamato," said a very pleasant voice.

"…Why?" Leo did not like the sound of this, pleasant voice or no.

"Is this him?"

"Yes it is, why are you calling me?"

"Your sons, Raphael and Michelangelo, were picked up by the police for breaking and entering, but weren't able to get any information on you, so they called me to pick them up."

Leonardo nearly dropped the phone in shock. They'd been arrested? This had to be a joke…Mikey had just gotten some women to call him and tell him that as a joke. His brothers were not in custody. They couldn't be…

"Please, please tell me you're joking!" Leonardo begged.

"No, sir, this is not a joke," Carol said in that same pleasant voice, now taking on a soothing quality.

"One moment, please," Leonardo told her.

He placed the phone on top of the base, stepped to the side, and proceeded to bang his head into the wall a few times.

"Donnie," he called out.

"What?" Donnie called back.

"I've found them."

Leonardo ceased his banging, keeping his head leant against the wall, and picked the phone back up.

"Sorry about that, Ma'am. Now…can I talk to Raphael?"

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The people at Child Services had been a lot nicer than the police had, though still just as annoying. They hadn't had to wait long for Carol to arrive, and the drive to the building Child Services was located in had been fairly pleasant for what it was (Carol had even let Mikey choose the radio station).

Once sat at her desk, she'd proceeded to ask them all the same questions as the police had. Raphael just sat and glared at her throughout the process, so Michelangelo had had to answer everything for him. After the standard questions, she'd asked a few more in depth ones, a lot of which they'd had to lie about.

Michelangelo had then asked if he could call his father, but Carol had insisted that he give her the number so she could make the call. When asked why, she had answered that she needed to talk to their parent, to inform him what needed to be done. So they'd finally given her the number.

"You're father wants to speak with you," Carol said, holding the phone out to Raphael, who took it, frowning.

"Hey," Raphael said.

"The police? Child Services? What the hell happened?" Leonardo nearly yelled.

"We got caught, the police in New York City are assholes, and they sent us to Child Services. There wasn't anything we could do; Mikey didn't want to try fighting our way out -"

"Because we would have lost!" Michelangelo yelled for Leo to hear.

"- and the police wouldn't reason with us," Raphael finished as if Michelangelo hadn't interrupted.

Leonardo sighed into the phone. "Are you both okay?"

"Yeah, we're fine. Tired as fuck, and more annoyed than that, but fine. Mikey wants me to tell you we're sorry for worrying you."

"Tell him thanks. What happens now?"

"I dunno, you'd have to ask the lady."

"Well, put her back on. And Raph?"

"Yeah?"

"Try not to cause any more trouble, please?"

Raphael rolled his eyes, but simply replied, "Yeah," then handed the phone back to Carol.

:::

"Hello," Carol said into the phone, and Leo could tell from her voice that she was smiling.

"Hi," Leonardo replied. He'd lifted his head off the wall and was now rubbing his temples. Donatello had come out and was standing beside him, looking from Leonardo's face to the phone nervously. "What's going to happen now?"

"Well, now you would need to come pick up Raphael and Michelangelo, with proof of adoption."

"Proof? Like…paperwork?" Leonardo exchanged a nervous glance with Donatello.

"Exactly."

"And what if I don't have that proof?"

"Then I'm afraid we can't let them go home with you. They'd be sent to a group home and a court date would be set up where you could fight for custody."

"What if I lose that fight?"

"They would go back to the group home to await adoption."

Leonardo noticed Carol sounded less upbeat now, as if she could tell he had no way of getting Raph and Mikey back. He sorely wished she was wrong.

"Right…well…can I talk to Raph again?"

"Sure."

Leo heard the phone being exchanged, then, "What's the plan?"

"I'm not sure," Leonardo admitted. "I guess we're going to have to try to fake adoption papers, so…just sit tight, and we'll try to come up with something. Tell Mikey I love him, okay?"

"Yeah, I will. See ya."

"See you."

Raphael put the phone back in it's cradle, and turned first to Michelangelo.

"Dad say's he loves you," he said.

"Is he coming?" Michelangelo asked hopefully.

"He's gonna try." Raphael turned back to Carol. "Since we don't have a real home, we don't really have all those important papers anymore, you know?"

"I'm sorry," Carol replied, and she looked it. "I'm afraid if he doesn't come by five o'clock tonight, we'll have to bring you to the group home."

"Yeah…might as well bring us now," Raphael replied sullenly.

:::

"Fake adoption papers? I don't even know what they're supposed to look like!" Donatello said, panicked.

"Well try to find out! Break into the database or something," Leonardo replied. "I'm going to call April, see if she can bring us some clothes. Man, why didn't we just think of that before?"

"Mikey wouldn't have gone for it anyway, he was too excited to go out. But doesn't matter now, though; let's just concentrate on fixing this."

"Right, right, go…"

So Donatello went off to his lab once more, and Leonardo dialed April's number. Neither of them had much hope that they'd be successful.

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Author's Note: Finally! I had hoped to have this done by Tuesday, but I got stuck. Everything after Mikey's "psych evaluation" comment, therefore, probably sucks. Apologies! Also, I did change the author's notes in chapter's one and two, if you care.

Please go read and review "Chaos Theory" by Plus2Brilliance (that's the one I'm co-writing with my sister, Akiko, Keeper of Sheep (who also writes really good TMNT fics, looker her up)! It's a really good fic, most likely even better than this one. And you really don't need to know much about Power Ranges!

I'm also really excited, as this is the first fic I've written to reach five chapters since a really old fic that has long since been removed from . And since it sucked so much, I don't tend to count it. So…woo! Chapter six, here I come!

Um, I guess that's all for now. Thanks again for reading, reviewing, and adding this story to your favorites and alerts! I love you all!