Weeping Willows
By Dragonessclaw
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this story. They are the product of the wonderful Rumiko Takahashi . Only the story is mine.
Hello everyone. I hope I didn't keep you waiting too long. Thank you for all the wonderful advice and reviews. You guys are sooo awesome. Here is the next installment I hope you like it.
Chapter 14 Forgive Me
Kagome was losing it. Still she hadn't seen Sesshomaru. They had talked for a few minutes on the phone but he seemed preoccupied and distant. Kagome wasn't sure what to make of it.
Did he regret what they did? Was he not happy with how things turned out? She kept trying not to think about it but she couldn't help it.
It had been three days since their last encounter and Kagome was ready to bolt the doors, draw the curtains and hide. What in the world was the matter with her? Hadn't she learned her lesson with Inu?
She must be a glutton for punishment. Truth be told she was angry with herself. As much as she hated to admit it there was a strong attraction there. It wasn't just physical but mental and everything else that came along with it. She did love him but that wasn't the point. A long time ago Kagome swore she wouldn't do this again. She was fine being alone and she would stay like that.
It had taken forever to get used to being alone after Inu. To sleep alone and not have that company, that companion to talk to in the middle of the night. (When Inu wasn't being a complete ass that is)
She hated that she missed it. She hated being so weak. Honestly, sometimes you just miss sleeping in the wet spot.
Kagome missed falling asleep with strong arms encircling her, making her feel safe and special. Falling asleep listening to that strong heartbeat, feeling her lover's breath caress her face and neck as he held her. She missed the little nudges and touches throughout the night reassuring her of his presence and waking up to that lingering male scent that was both relaxing and exhilarating at the same time.
Oh God she needed to think about something else.
The influx of emotions Kagome felt were actually painful. Her chest felt constricted and her lungs burned as if she wasn't getting enough air. Her legs had started to cramp up from the continuous pacing she had been doing and she was craving a drink like nobody's business.
All the hurt, fear of being rejected, all of the insecurities she had thought she'd dealt with were coming back.
Her eyes burned with the unshed tears she was struggling to keep at bay. She must be a sadist. Why she would invite this kind of chaos back into her life was beyond her.
During the day she was fine it was easy to keep busy. Between work, her friends, and family there was always something that needed to be done or cooked or cleaned. Kagome had made a habit of cooking one meal a week for her mom so that was always something to look forward to. She would cook and then bring the meal over. They would talk for hours, drink tea, and watch movies.
Usually she would hang out with Miroku and Sango but with everything going on with them she felt a little space was needed. It was also quite awkward to meet with one and then the other. Yes they were working things out but they didn't spend much time in each other's company socially.
Finally she couldn't take it anymore. If she didn't get out of the house she would go crazy. Calling Sango Kagome set up a girl's night to go out to have a couple of drinks and talk.
They agreed to meet at a little bar/restaurant a few blocks from Sango's apartment. Kagome arrived first and decided to sit at the bar area. Ordering water while she waited, Kagome looked around the place. It was nice. Kagome was pleased it was casual dress; she really wasn't in the mood for something formal. She just wanted to relax and unwind for a while.
It was painted in earth tones with various pieces of art decorating the walls. The lights were low with lit candles sitting on the tables. It was a weird effect but soothing for some reason. The main part was the restaurant but if you went toward the back the bar was there. She guessed it was so the TV hanging above the bar area would not disrupt the soft music that was playing in the restaurant part. Looking around while she waited for Sango Kagome took in the few customers that were in attendance. As Kagome's eyes swept towards the door she smiled when she saw Sango heading her way.
It had been a while since they had seen each other. They talked on the phone often enough but they both had a lot on their minds and their friendship wasn't at the point where they could share like they used to.
"You look great," Kagome complimented as Sango sat at the stool beside her.
"How is everything? Better I hope," Kagome asked trying not to sound like she was interrogating Sango.
Sango nodded knowing exactly what Kagome was referring to. Taking a deep breath Sango started.
"Things are doing much better. I think Miroku and I will be able to get through this. We are both trying hard and as for me this experience has definitely been an eye opener. It forced me to take a hard look at myself and I realized I didn't like what I saw."
"We are taking things slow and going on little mini dates to try to salvage what we had. Discussing things that should have been settled a long time ago but of course then I wasn't really open to hearing them." Sango stated.
Hailing the bartender Sango continued, "So I need to make some changes within myself. It won't happen all in one day but at least now I know where to go from here. Don't look like that I am not letting him off the hook completely," Sango said in response to Kagome's surprised expression.
"I am not the only one that has things to work on and I won't let him forget it," Sango said chuckling softy.
When the bartender came over Sango ordered two glasses of umeshu (plum wine) for them, but Kagome quickly cut her off.
"No umeshu tonight I'll have a kanzake(warm or hot sake), I need something a lot stronger right now," Kagome proclaimed as she made a point of avoiding Sango's eyes. Why did I say that?
Noticing Kagome's stiff posture Sango put her hand on Kagome's shoulder and squeezed it comfortingly.
"I won't pry," Sango started looking Kagome in the eye, "but if you need to talk I will listen."
Kagome's eyes widened as she stared at Sango incredulously, "O.k. who are you and what have you done with Sango."
Laughing when she noticed the smirk on Kagome's face Sango replied, "Hey I'm serious. I really have been working on things and it's not like I don't care about how you are. I just won't be as pushy about it."
"And opinionated," Kagome added.
"Yes that too," Sango agreed.
The two laughed merrily and Kagome started to talk. "It's nothing really I just have been getting a weird vibe from Sesshomaru lately. Nothing important, I am probably just imagining things."
Sango's face took on a serious expression as she fingered the manila envelope in her bag for the tenth time. She wasn't sure if this was the right move. But if she was going to show that she had changed and ask forgiveness she needed to come clean.
Bracing herself for Kagome's reaction Sango reached into her bag and pulled out the manila envelop, putting it on the bar in front of Kagome.
"What's this?" Kagome asked, her face scrunching up in confusion as she read the address on the manila envelope. Getting even more confused when she read the neat handwriting Kagome looked to Sango for an explanation. Why would she need something like this? Sango said things were going well between her and Miroku.
Seeing her confusion Sango took a deep breath before she answered. "They are a private investigation firm. They make sure everything is on the up and up before you marry or get seriously involved in a relationship."
Still confused Kagome couldn't help but ask, "Surely you don't think Miroku is hiding something from you? You've known each other forever. He is not the type you know that."
Shaking her head Sango answered in a low voice, "It wasn't for Miroku."
Kagome was now really lost, "If it wasn't for Miroku then…." Kagome stopped mid sentence as it hit her. "This was for Sesshomaru."
Her eyes flashing with anger Kagome stood up and got into Sango's face. "You're insanity knows no bounds. And here I thought you had changed. Yeah right," Kagome said as she turned to leave. "Same old Sango, I should have known," Kagome said angrily.
"No!" Sango said forcefully as she grabbed Kagome's wrist to stop her from leaving. "Not Same old Sango. The old Sango would have requested you read it. Not warning you of what might be in it. The new Sango. Me! I am admitting my mistake to my friend. Asking forgiveness and letting you know what it is, whether you look or not is on you. Now please sit down."
With a huff Kagome sat back down in her seat mindful of the other patrons that were now looking over at them. Feeling encouraged that she at least sat back down Sango continued.
"I did it a while ago. I actually hadn't given it any more thought until it came in the mail a few days ago. I was going to just chuck it but that would be like hiding the fact that I did it. You deserve more than that. I wanted to tell you the truth even if you end up being mad at me. As you see it is still unopened I haven't looked."
"I'm sorry you're right," said Kagome. "It's just I can't believe you would go to such lengths to signify in my life. I am angry but more importantly I am disappointed. I expect better from you. What were you thinking? Yes I am your sister but I am not a little girl that needs protection. You need to remember I am a grown woman and for you to go so far to invade my privacy…"
Kagome's eyes widened as she had an epiphany.
"That's what it was," Kagome said excitedly almost shouting now. "No wonder he left. Miroku is a very private person. That kind of disregard for my privacy would have been crossing the line. After all if you would do that to your best friend what would you do to your husband? Now it makes since, why he kept talking about being in everyone's business and overstepping boundaries."
Sango still had not said one word but her sad and slightly embarrassed flush as she suddenly found her lap to be the most interesting thing in the world was all the affirmation Kagome needed.
"No wonder he wouldn't tell me why you two were fighting. It had to do with me. I guess he also didn't want me to know you would go so far as doing a background check on my boyfriend. The one you introduced me to by the way."
"But even as upset as he was at you he still didn't want me to see you in a bad light. He could have told me but waited and let you tell me instead. He truly loves you. You need to get down and kiss his feet, you know that right? If you let him go then you are plain crazy or stupid."
Kagome could feel the waves of regret and desolation emanating from Sango. Smiling sadly as the tears started to roll down her cheeks leaving trails of makeup running in their wake Sango nodded. "I know. That's why I am trying so hard. Trust me it isn't easy to look at yourself and honestly take stock of all your flaws. Let alone admit them out loud. I even agreed to see a therapist to get to the root of why I feel I need to be in control of everything. I can't lose him. I won't. And I won't let myself sabotage my own relationship."
Feeling that enough had been said on the topic for the time being Sango let the issue drop. Holding up her glass she tilted it towards Kagome. "Still friends?" Sango asked hopefully.
Shaking her head Kagome raised her own glass in salute, "Still friends," she said taking a sip of her drink.
"I can see you are truly sorry and are trying to change. You're lucky I have had time to come to grips with your behavior and some of the other things that has been going on, or you'd be in a world of hurt," Kagome said seriously.
Swallowing hard Sango chose not to answer but took another sip of her drink instead. She had seen Kagome when she was fed up and really didn't want that kind of fury directed towards her.
Well here you have it the reason for the rift between Sango and Miroku. What do you think? Leave it or should I change it. I am not done with this topic however. Miroku and Sango still have to discuss things regarding what Sango did and see if they can mend the relationship. Please review and let me know how you think this went.