Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, only the twisted ideas in my head!
Otherwise, Enjoy!
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Chapter 4
Harry awoke that morning to a loud banging on the front door. He sat up groggily in his bed, looking over at the clock on his nightstand. He groaned, realizing that it was only 10:00 in the morning. Harry climbed out of bed, making his way into the living room to answer the door. He figured it was either Sirius or Remus since they had to go out that morning for groceries; what he did not expect, though, was to see Snape standing at the front door. Harry gaped slightly, "Uh…"
Snape quirked his lips. "Well, tactful as ever I see?" He full out grinned at the glare he got in return.
"What do you want?" Harry asked, slightly irked by the man's presence.
Snape scoffed, "Such manners, have I come at a bad time?" he asked, looking over the man's head and into the apartment.
Harry grumbled, "I was asleep."
Snape let a soft 'oh' escape his lips, "I'm sorry. May I still come in?" he questioned.
Harry shrugged his shoulders, "Whatever." He opened the door wider, moving back enough to let the man in before closing and locking the door. Harry motioned for Severus to get comfortable on the couch, "Would you like me to get you anything?" he asked out of common courtesy, even though he didn't trust the man.
Severus shook his head in the negative before looking around in the living room, "Where are Remus and the mutt?" he asked out of curiosity.
Harry looked over from where he was picking up loose articles of stuff on the floor, trying to clean the place up a little, "They went shopping for groceries, they should be back soon." He said, plopping down in an armchair while stifling a yawn.
They sat there for a while, an awkward silence falling over them. Harry shifted nervously, the silence making him antsy. He cleared his throat, "So…uh, what did you need to come here for?" he inquired.
"I didn't come here for any specific reason; I just wanted to make sure you were healing properly." Snape admitted.
Harry quirked a brow at the statement, "Oh really?" he asked snidely.
Snape leaned back on the couch, crossing his arms, "You don't like me very much do you?"
Harry snorted, "Took you this long to realize it? You're losing your touch, doctor." he said, annoyance evident in his voice.
Another knock sounded at the door, Harry rising to go answer it again. He pulled it open to find a grinning pair of godfathers. He smiled as he moved aside, opening the door wider to let the duo inside.
Snape stood up, making his presence known to the two males, "Good morning." he muttered.
Sirius stopped in his tracks, staring at Snape as if he had just risen out of the floor, "W-What are you doing here?" he accused, glancing back at Harry, "How long has he been here?"
Harry shrugged, "Fifteen minutes at most, he just came by to check up on me supposedly."
Remus nodded, "Well then, let's treat him nicely you two. Would you like anything to drink, Severus? I just bought some instant coffee if you'd like." he asked.
Snape went to say something but was cut off when Sirius shouted, "But you bought that for me!"
Remus sighed and rolled his eyes, "Jealous much?" he joked.
Sirius looked abhorred, "Me? Jealous of him?" he asked incredulously. He pouted when Remus started to laugh, "It's not funny Remy!" He crossed his arms defiantly.
Remus chuckled and patted his head, "I'll buy you some more later." He turned his attention back to Severus, "So, how do you like your coffee?" he questioned.
Severus sighed, "Two teaspoons of sugar and a little bit of creamer if you have any." he asked.
Remus nodded and motioned for Sirius to bring the groceries into the kitchen. Harry watched them leave and smiled slightly.
"They really love each other, huh?"
Harry looked over and Snape surprised, "Yeah, they really do." he admitted softly. His eyes softened as he watched the two cuddle while waiting for the coffee to brew. He looked away and sat back down in his chair, Snape following suit. Harry leaned forward in his chair, resting his elbows on his knees and letting his head fall forward, "Why are you here, Snape? And, tell me the truth this time." Harry demanded, looking through his brown locks over at him.
Snape sighed, reclining in his seat, "Is it really hard to believe that I care about your well being?" he insisted, while staring straight at him.
Harry instantly tensed, "Just shut up…" he muttered while looking away.
Snape leaned forward, "No, I am not going to "shut up"! If I shut up every time you don't like where a conversation is going we will never get anywhere!" he stated icily.
"We are never going to get anywhere, so just shut up and stay out of my life!" he shouted, jumping up and out of his chair.
Snape stared up at him, a calculating look in his gaze, "Don't come to anymore sessions until you are ready to talk to me about your problems." He stood up making his way to the door, "Good day." He made his exit.
Harry glared daggers at the door, clenching his fist tightly to try to suppress his rage and keep from breaking anything.
Sirius and Remus walked into the living room to find an enraged Harry, they looked at each other worriedly. The two godfathers walked over, Sirius reaching out to touch his shoulder, "Harry…what's wrong?" he asked softly.
Harry shirked away from his touch, walking away, "I'm going to bed, don't bug me." They heard a door slam.
SHshSHshSHshSHshSHshSHshSH
A couple weeks passed and Harry still had not returned to any of his sessions. He was currently out shopping for new art supplies. There had been a sudden urge to draw inside him ever since the black-haired psychiatrist had visited all those weeks ago. He had not drawn anything for over two years, losing the urge ever since he started dating…him.
He clenched his fists and breathed in and out deeply, trying to calm himself. He opened his eyes and looked around for the final item on his list. Pens. He was going to be there for a while. He was increasingly meticulous about the kind of pens he drew with; if the pens didn't feel right to him then they were useless.
Harry stood in front of the vast aisle of pens, staring at the many different brands and thicknesses. He sighed, going to reach for one then pulling his hand back and shaking his head. It was like this for over a half-an-hour, going through practically the entire aisle and still not finding what he was looking for. He reached the end of the aisle and turned to leave when a small pack of pens at the end of a rack all the way in the back caught his eye. He squinted closely and reached in, groaning as the pens were just out of his reach. He stretched his arm as long as it could go, flicking the package with his fingertip, bringing it closer to him. He smiled victoriously as his hand grasped the tiny pack of pens.
He pulled them out and smiled, they were exactly what he needed. He did a very small and almost unnoticeable happy dance before walking over to the cash register to pay. As he was putting his items on the conveyor belt, he noticed a streak of black hair enter the tiny craft store. He nearly choked as he realized that it was Snape,
That man is fucking following me! There is no way this is coincidence! Harry thought angrily.
He paid for his items and walked back around the cashier aisle, following the older man, Time to see what he's up to for a change…
Harry walked slowly, ducking every time Snape looked behind him; He's paranoid today…
Snape turned down one of the aisle towards the far back corner of the store. Harry following a few feet behind him. He went to turn the aisle but pulled back sharply as he realized Snape had stopped. He peeked his head out around the side, noticing a younger man appear from another aisle, surprising the psychiatrist by wrapping his arms possessively around him, embracing him tightly from behind.
Harry's eyes widened as Snape relaxed into the hug, smiling, "Is there any particular reason we had to meet in the back of an art and craft store?" Snape questioned, turning around to face his companion.
Said man chuckled deeply, running his fingers through Snape's black locks, "No reason, now, let's put those lips to better use, eh?" he murmured, pulling Snape's head down for a searing kiss.
Harry blushed madly, wanting to look away but his body would not move. He watched as the kiss got more passionate, Snape pressing the younger man against the wall, his hands exploring underneath the fabric of his lover's shirt.
The young man broke the kiss, throwing his head back to moan softly, obviously enjoying the ministrations.
The moan alerted Harry to his current situation and he shuffled back quietly trying not to reveal himself. He backed up, knocking over a bin filled with markers. He flinched at how loud the sound was. Harry looked up over at the duo to meet a pair of piercing black eyes.
Snape glared heatedly at the spy, eyes widening as he realized who it was, "Potter…?"
Harry tensed and picked up his bags, running down the aisles and towards the exit of the store. He heard footsteps behind him and Snape calling his name again, "Potter!"
He rushed past the cashiers and outside onto the sidewalk. He looked both directions before running through traffic to get to the other side of the road. Cars honked at him as he crossed. He froze and stepped back as a car suddenly braked a few millimeters from his shins, blaring it's horn at him. He stared up at the driver as he motioned with his hands to get out of the way. Harry chanced a glance back at the store and paled as he saw Snape staring at him with…fear in his eyes? He glared at him before moving out of the cars' way and stepping onto the safety of the opposing sidewalk. People rushed over to him to see if he was harmed, Harry shrugging them off as he practically ran back to the apartment.
SHshSHshSHshSHshSHshSHshSH
Harry collapsed against the inside of the door, breathing harshly as his body recuperated from the ordeal; I nearly was run over! I could have died! He thought harshly, mentally kicking himself for his stupidity. He replayed the look of fear and worry on Snape's face when he was nearly run over, an uneasy feeling squirm its way into his gut…Maybe he cares after all? Harry scowled slightly, probably not…
He got up off the floor after his body's trembling had died down to minor twitches here and there. He brought his supplies into his bedroom and dumped them onto his bed, mentally cursing himself as he realized that he had left a bag behind in his rush to get out of the store. He sighed; he would have to go back tomorrow to get it.
SHshSHshSHshSHshSHshSHshSH
Harry walked into the craft store, instantly paling as everyone stopped to look at him,
I guess they still remember yesterday… He hid his face behind his hand and rushed over to Customer Service counter. A young brunette woman smiled slightly at him,
"How may I help you?" she asked.
Harry shifted nervously, "Hello, my name is Harry Potter, yesterday I, um, left one of my bags here and I was wondering if you had it? I have the receipt with me if you need it."
The brown-haired woman thought for a moment, before realization flashed across her face, "Oh!" she started looking through piles of papers, "Hold on…he left a note…ah, here it is!" She pulled out a small yellow sticky note, handing it to him, "An older man with black hair came over yesterday saying that he had found one of your bags and asked me to give that note to you." She explained at his confused look.
He read the note, groaning, He is making me go to his fucking apartment to pick it up?! Why the hell couldn't he leave it here for them to give me?! He smiled sadly at the woman before making his exit. He read the note, scanning the address again before walking down the sidewalk.
SHshSHshSHshSHshSHshSHshSH
702...703...704.
Harry steeled himself before knocking swiftly on the door. He waited a couple of minutes, raising his hand again to knock when the door suddenly burst open. An exasperated psychiatrist standing at the door,
"Finally, I was beginning to think that you wouldn't show up." he stated.
Harry glared at him, shoving his way past and into the suite, "Where's my stuff so that I can go?" Harry growled, feeling terribly exposed in his new surroundings. It wasn't enough that he had to walk four miles to get here but to have the man piss him off as soon as he'd arrived was irksome in itself.
Snape scowled slightly, doing his best not to snap at the man. He closed the door and walked into the kitchen shouting out, "Would you like anything to drink?"
Harry groaned, "I frickin' told you already, give me my stuff so I can go!" he shouted.
Snape walked back out with two small cups of herbal tea, "Not until we talk about some things…,"he stated.
Harry sighed and collapsed tiredly into a chair, "Well, hurry up and make this quick. I need to be back before Remus and Sirius get home and notice me missing." he grumbled.
Snape nodded his understanding, sitting down across from him. He handed Harry a cup of tea who begrudgingly accepted. Snape sipped at his cup, "So, about yesterday-"
Harry interrupted, "What happened yesterday?" he asked, smirking inwardly as he decided to play dumb.
Snape's eyes narrowed, "You know full well what happened yesterday…," he hissed.
Harry looked up, tapping his chin with his finger, "Hmm…let's see; oh, now I remember. I caught you snogging with some man in the back of an arts and crafts store!"
Snape winced and closed his eyes, "Yes, I ask that you don't mention what you saw to anyone. It is imperative that this does not become public knowledge." He opened his eyes, staring at Harry dead on, "Please, Potter."
Harry stared at him confused, "Why would it matter?" he asked.
Snape shook his head, "It doesn't matter why, just promise me that you won't tell!" he shouted, his cool demeanor crumbling slowly. He ran his hand through his hair, "I…I do not want to have to deal with the press right now, I want to have a life to myself, I want to be able to have a love-life without the paparazzi standing at my window watching…" He whispered icily.
Harry felt something stir within his chest and looked away, "I'll keep your secret Snape, don't worry. I never planned to tell anyone anyways. But, seriously, would the press actually care that much about one psychiatrist?" he asked.
Snape stood up, facing away from him, "I…I don't have the best of records…" he muttered.
Harry tilted his head to the side, "You mean police record?"
Snape nodded, his face reflecting all of his hidden pain, "The press would do anything to discredit me, I would lose my job…everything." he said sadly.
Harry got up suddenly, "Where's my stuff, Snape?"
Snape turned his head to look at him, his eyes hardening, "In the kitchen on the counter, next to the sink." he said, watching as the young brunette ran into the kitchen. He had never told anyone about that before and all the stupid brat did was blow him off as if it was nothing! Snape scowled and sat back down in his chair, downing the rest of his tea in one swing. He grabbed Harry's abandoned cup and walked into the kitchen.
Snape stopped and stared when he found Harry huddled in the corner of his kitchen, sketching on the large drawing pad he had left behind with his new pack of pens. His face was tense in concentration and Snape felt compelled to leave him alone. He set the two cups on the table and quickly left the room to give the younger man his space.
SHshSHshSHshSHshSHshSHshSH
Harry sighed contently and closed the drawing pad, smiling at his accomplishment. When he saw the older man's face with so much emotion he could not contain himself, he had to put it down on paper. Harry stretched out his legs and groaned as blood surged through his veins, I must have been here a while… He reached down and rubbed his calves stimulating the blood flow.
When the tingling died down in his legs he got up shakily, making his way out of the kitchen and into the spacious living room. Now that he was not in a hurry to leave, he actually took the time to take in his surroundings. This place was HUGE for an apartment. He walked down the hallway to the left of the kitchen finding a spare guest room, small full bathroom, and a hall closet.
In the hallway to the right of the kitchen were the master bedroom and the master bath. Harry stared in shock at the grandeur of the bedroom. There was a King-sized bed right in the middle of the room covered in satin sheets with two dark oak night stands on both sides, a dark oak bookshelf lined the whole right wall and to the left was a door that Harry bet was Snape's clothing closet. Everything in the room screamed expensive, even the tan carpeting that filled the room.
Harry flinched as a voice whispered in his ear, "Enjoying the view?" He twirled around, glaring at a grinning Snape,
"Don't do that!" Harry shouted, clutching his chest. Snape smirked even wider,
"Well, then don't go snooping around people living quarters while their away." Snape stated. He held up a large brown bag, "You hungry? I got Chinese."
Harry went to deny being hungry but his stomach beat him to it by rumbling loudly. He blushed slightly, "Well, I'll have a little but then I really have to go, Sirius and Remus are probably freaking out by now." Harry muttered.
The psychiatrist chuckled, "I called them already to let them know where you were, so don't worry about that and take your time. It would really be unfortunate for you to choke on your food."
Harry grumbled something inaudible before heading out back into the kitchen, "What time is it?" he asked.
Snape shifted the large bag, looking at his watch, "It's around 7:50 from what I can tell."
Harry stopped and whirled around, "What?! I got here around 4:00! I couldn't have been drawing for that long!" He admonished.
Snape laughed. "You've been in my kitchen for that long I assure you. You were muttering to yourself the whole time. Now, if you don't mind I would like to eat my food before midnight." he declared, moving past the man again and into the kitchen, setting the food onto the small table. Snape walked over to the cupboards, pulling out two plastic plates and utensils, setting them onto the table. He opened the refrigerator peering inside, "What do you want to drink? I got tea, milk, water, and coke."
Harry sat down in a chair pulling out the tiny white containers, "Milk please." he stated. He set the food in a small pile on the center of the table.
Snape sat down with their drinks, him choosing to have tea while placing Harry's milk near him. They each filled their plates, eating in relative silence. Harry kept glancing up at the man across from him, wondering if all of this was just a set-up to get him to trust him. He looked off to the side to his abandoned drawing pad on the counter and sighed.
Snape looked up from his food, "What's wrong?" he asked softly.
Harry got up and grabbed his drawing pad, flipping it open to the first page before sitting back down, "No-nothing. I just wanted to check something…" he whispered, staring at the forlorn face staring up at him on the page, Maybe….I could trust him? He seems human enough. He frowned, but what if he betrays me like Umbridge did…? He sighed, looking up at the concerned expression of his psychiatrist, staring at him determinedly, He has no reason to lie to me, and if he betrays me then I could just out him to the world…He came to a decision after another ten minutes of debating, feeling sick to his stomach that he was going to go through with this again.
He set the notebook on the ground before twirling the noodles on his plate with his fork, "He killed my parents…" He mumbled after a lapsed silence.
Snape's eyes widened slightly, realizing what the man in front of him was trying to do. He remained silent, knowing that he should not interrupt. Harry continued on, "He tied me to a chair and made me watch…he wanted me to watch as he took their lives…," he shuddered and wrapped his arms around himself, "The blood…my god, there was so much blood…" Tears started to flow from his eyes, "He…he slit my dad's throat, he died…he died pretty quickly…but my mom, she was so stupid! She had to go and fight back! It was much more painful for her…he tortured her; she was alive for around three hours before he finally tired with her. He stabbed her in the chest ten times, out of spite for ruining our 'perfect love'. The last thing she said to me…the last thing she said to me was 'I love you'; 'I fucking love you'! How could she love me when it was my entire fault they were there in the first place?!" Harry slammed his fist on the table, shaking terribly as tears steamed from his eyes, "It was all my fault…,"he ran his fingers through his hair, gripping it tightly as he huddled on the chair, "It's always my damn fault…" he hissed. Harry quieted down, rocking slowly in the chair while trying to stifle his tears. He hadn't meant to go so far, he had not wanted to let Snape so far inside his demented and tortured soul. Harry had never even told Sirius and Remus this.
Harry flinched as arms encircled him, embracing him tightly. He stared at Snape with wide eyes as he began mumbling nonsense into his ear while massaging the back of his neck. Harry tried to pull away but the arms tightened around him, pulling him closer to the warm body beside him. He couldn't contain the tears any longer and cried unashamed on the shoulder presented to him.
Snape sighed and brought his hand down, rubbing small circles in the small of Harry's back. He hadn't expected this, he wasn't prepared for the information he had received tonight. He didn't know how to respond, and that unnerved him.
Snape didn't know how long he knelt there, hugging the man but was snapped out of his reverie as he realized that the younger man had fallen asleep against him, arms hanging loosely around him. He shook his head and chuckled softly, maneuvering his hands to pick Harry up bridal style. He froze as the younger man shifted in his arms, sighing as he stilled.
Snape made his way into his guest room, placing the man gently on the bed and covering him with the spare blanket at the foot of the bed. The man stirred and green eyes stared groggily up at him, "…Snape?"
Snape smiled almost unnoticeably and hushed him, "Sleep Potter, you need to rest. I'll call your godfathers, so go to sleep, sleep…" Snape murmured almost soothingly, Harry already complying to his command.
After Snape made sure he was sleeping peacefully he walked out and shut the door quietly, making his way back into his kitchen. He walked over and picked up his cordless phone, speed dialing the mutt and Remus.
Snape paced around his kitchen silently, utterly annoyed at how long it takes for the two godfathers to pick up their phone. He silently thanked whatever god there was when Remus picked up the phone, "Hello? Severus? Has something happened to Harry?!" he insinuated.
Snape smirked as he heard the death threats from Sirius in the background, "No, no, Remus. Nothing has happened to your precious godson. We actually had a break-through, but he wore himself out and is asleep in my guest room. He can stay the night but you will have to pick him up early tomorrow." he stated simply, leaning against the counter. His eyes strayed over the tiled floor, staring at Harry's dejected drawing pad. He leaned up off the counter and walked over, half-listening as Remus repeated what he had said to the annoying mutt.
He picked up the pad, a sudden curiosity to look inside forming in his stomach. Snape stared at it, debating the pros and cons of looking inside. Remus interrupted, "When would you like us to come by to pick him up?"
Snape's eyes widened slightly in confusion, "Huh?" he stated simply, totally engrossed in his thoughts that he totally missed what the man had said.
Remus sighed, repeating himself, "When would you like us to pick Harry up tomorrow?"
Snape shifted the phone to his shoulder, opening the pad to the first page, "Oh, well anytime before…" he faded off, staring in shock at the picture on the page. He…He drew me… He ran his fingertips faintly down the page, tracing every line with his fingers, He felt emotions stir in his chest, feeling all the emotions Harry had captured in the picture radiate into his soul. He shook it off quickly slamming the pad shut and dropping it onto the counter, picking up quickly where he had left off, "Anytime before 10:00 would be preferable, now I need to get some work done, so good evening Remus." he said.
He could sense Remus's curiosity at the recent pause but all he said was, "Good night, Severus."
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TBC
Author's Notes:
Well here's Chapter 4 of The Logs! I really need to update my stories faster, I swear there aren't enough hours in the day…Anyways I really liked writing this chapter, although all the editing I did to it. It was so annoying, lol. There wasn't a lot of Sirius or Remus in this chapter…well don't worry they were just in the background "making up for lost time".
Sirius: Hey! We were not!
Momo: Uh-huh, I got photos to prove it! -smiles evilly- I'm gonna sell them to all those fan girls out there! I'll never be a poor yaoi-addict ever again!
Sirius: You are so mean to us! -looks around for Remus- Remy! She's being mean to me again!
Remus: -yawns- What's wrong now?
Sirius: -points at Momo accusingly- She's going to sell pictures of us to all of those scary stalker fan girls out there! Stop her!
Momo: Yeah! I'll never be poor again!
Remus: -sighs- Why do I even bother to deal with you idiots?
Momo and Sirius: You know you couldn't live without me!
Remus: Believe what you want, I'm just here for the yaoi scenes.
Sirius: -pales- You can't possibly want Harry to sleep with that greasy ass snit?! No, omg the horror! -faints from the mental images-
Remus: -walks over, picking him up off the ground- Now you see what you did?
Momo: Hey, you are the one that went there, it wasn't me. Now, about those photos…
Remus: I don't care what you do with them, I just want good yaoi in return
Momo: -grins- Deal!
Well, I really need to go to bed now…I'm delusional…bye until the next chapter!
MOMO
P.S- REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW!!