Weeping Willows
By Dragonessclaw
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this story. They are the product of the wonderful Rumiko Takahashi. Only the story is mine.
Chapter 17 Separate Ways?
Climbing a tree that had thick branches and lots of leaves Inuyasha sat and waited for the show he knew would come. This had always been Kagome's favorite place to think. He had no doubt she would follow this same path as she had done so often in the past. All he needed was a little more patience. Making himself comfortable Inuyasha started to wait and plot his next move.
He was confused and that was a feeling he didn't like. Sesshomaru had always been self assured but now he was on dangerous grounds. This was unfamiliar territory and he wasn't sure what to do. He had asked to meet Kagome here in the park where he felt she would feel most comfortable. He did not want to use his or her place to give either one of them the home team advantage feel.
First it was this thing with the guy. He knew what he saw but of course she could have been right. She had seemed sincere when she stated she was sleep by herself. It could have been someone walking across the yard but why would he be putting his clothes on as he went unless he was up to something.
There was also this marriage business. It was still too soon to even think about marriage they needed much more time to get to know each other. After all Sesshomaru had no intentions of making anything other than a lifetime commitment. There was still something bothering him that he had not figured out yet. That nagging feeling had yet to go away and even though at first he thought he would be able to move past it he now found he couldn't.
Sesshomaru then thought about Kagome and her personality. His father was right; he couldn't subject Kagome to that even if they did get married. He couldn't let this happen; things were just going too fast. He needed time to breathe, to think.
Hearing a sound he looked up to see Kagome walking towards him, her face lit with a smile that could melt ice. He nodded in her direction as he took in every detail of her, trying to imprint this moment forever in his memory to be filed away with others. He wanted to remember how she looked before anything was said, before he informed her of his recent decision.
As always she was beautiful. Her hair she'd left unbound so it fell in thick waves framing her face. Swaying with her movements the long dark tresses shined as they caught the rays of the sun. She was wearing a blue button down top that brought out the blue in her eyes and a pair of jeans that hugged her shape just right. For a moment Sesshomaru wondered for the thirtieth time if he was doing the right thing.
"Hey, you wanted to meet?" Kagome said trying to sound optimistic. In truth she had been dreading this. Sesshomaru had been acting off lately and she knew that couldn't mean anything good.
Sesshomaru took a deep breath. How could he say what he wanted to say? When he first realized he would have to be more expressive with a person like Kagome he'd done his best. He had been told before by a few ex's that he needed to talk more. With her he did but this was something he was having a hard time expressing. He did not want to hurt her. The only honorable thing to do would be to tell the truth, more or less. It was just that he couldn't process what was going on. His mathematical brain was on overload to the point where he needed to shut everything down and start again.
It also wasn't fair to Kagome. He knew how he felt about her but was unsure if he would be able to take the necessary steps to be with her. He would not drag her along in the hopes of it working out. If he was going to make this commitment he needed to have a clear plan and goal in mind. What would happen if after looking at everything he decided he could not do it? She would be hurt even more. No, this was the best way. It was better to end it now before either one of them got any more emotionally involved.
Not one to beat around the bush Sesshomauru got straight to the point. "I have been thinking that maybe we should take a break from each other for a while to reassess things." Wincing at the sharp gasp he continued.
"I do not know if we can make this work Kagome, I think we may just be too different. I have made continuously made compromises. That along with the incident of the guy hanging around is enough." He stated coolly.
Gasping Kagome took a step back, her eyes tearing up. She felt like she had been slapped in the face. "Compromise? Who asked you to? I don't remember saying you needed to change anything about yourself." Kagome countered incredulously.
"And what guy? I told you before I was in the house alone. Whoever you saw was probably cutting through the yard. Sometimes they do that. That's why I talked to you about how I would go about getting that piece of the gate fixed."
"You are right and I have no proof either way to substantiate such a claim. Fine we will drop the issue of the guy. As for the compromising it was the only way I felt this could work. You are just too…" Sesshomaru stopped right there trying to figure out how to put what he wanted to say into words. He did not want to hurt her feelings unnecessarily just because they couldn't work out.
"Too what Sesshomaru?" Kagome asked angrily. "Spit it out. I am too what."
Taking a deep breath Sesshomaru sighed. "Maybe I should back up a bit. For a while now I have been feeling strange about us. I could not put my finger on it but something has been bothering me and…"
"And how long has this been?" Kagome interrupted. "Before or after we slept together Sesshomaru?"
Eyes narrowing at her tone, he struggled to keep herself under control. He understood she was upset but she would not continue to talk to him in such a manner. "Before," Sesshomaru said in a hushed voice.
"And still you continued? Still you had the nerve to come to my bed knowing you were unsure. Why wouldn't you say something? Come to me." Kagome screeched. "We could have worked it out. Figured out together what it could have been. I certainly would not have taken our relationship any further. Why did you say you loved me then?" Kagome asked as her heart sank.
"You can't say something like that and have doubts. How can you say you love me when there is still some part of me that makes you uncomfortable? What the hell is wrong with you?" She was now screaming. The few people that were in that areas of the park just stared at the scene before them. So far it had been a mutual argument. Each one of them saying something. As long as it did not get physical no one felt the need to intervene.
That was it. Sesshomaru was done. Not only was Kagome yelling at him like some impertinent child but she was drawing more and more of an audience. He was not the kind of person to air his dirty laundry out in front of people. Deciding this needed to be ended quickly he tried to diffuse the conversation.
"Maybe we should discuss this another time and place once we have calmed down a bit and had some time to think," Sesshomaru said through clenched teeth.
"NO," Kagome yelled her face turning red from anger, "We will finish this now or not at all." She felt betrayed and used but most of all she was just hurt. Before she even realized what she had meant to do Kagome smacked Sesshomaru across the face. Not hard mind you but hard enough.
Stepping closer to her Sesshomaru gave her one of the coldest looks Kagome had ever seen in her life. "I do not believe in hitting women but you are pushing it. I do not suggest you put your hands upon my person again or I might not be able to control myself."
"As for discussing this now or never I vote for never. I thought you were different from most other women. I thought we could discuss this rationally like adults but I see now I was wrong," Sesshomaru said in a cold flat tone. With that he walked away from her.
Hand over her mouth, Kagome was still trying to process the fact that she had slapped him. Her mind had not even caught up yet to the rest of his statement.
"Sesshomaru." Kagome whispered as her hand reached out toward the figure walking away.
"Sesshomaru." She repeated louder this time to make sure he heard her but Sesshomaru never turned around.
Tears slipped down her eyes as she felt her heart breaking. The figure she was reaching out to continued to walk away, never even breaking his stride.
She stood there frozen in shock, a flood of grief storming through her heart, blue eyes that once held so much light and warmth now dull and full of pain.
"Breathe, Breathe!" her mind kept telling her but her body still refused. Suddenly the blue sky above her was not the soft nurturing sky of spring, but the cold, chilling, lonely sky of winter. Finally, after what seemed a lifetime she inhaled but what came out was nothing more than a strangled cry. In the distance coming from the direction Kagome had been staring at for the last five minutes a ferocious howl could be heard. Not only anger resonating in the howl but also wretchedness, desolation so bleak that it was beyond despair.
That broke the spell. Shaking, her hands balled into tight fists at her side Kagome collapsed to the ground, her strength robbed by grief as her tears flowed freely. Her body covered by a fine sheen of sweat it felt as if every pore of her body were weeping along with her. Her head hanging low Kagome dug her nails in the earth trying to steady the overflow of emotions until all sound stopped and everything started going black.
Her last thoughts on just what had gone wrong, but of course she knew what had happened. It had all started with just three little words. Even though Kagome had learned years ago that those words were just another lie spoken to ensure cooperation from the other sex, she ignored her head and her hearts' warnings. Three little words…I love you. Had they been said by anyone else she would have just scoffed.
But coming from him it sounded like the angels themselves had said it, his beautiful golden eyes staring into the depths of her soul as he leaned down only inches from her face his deep sexy voice sending tremors along her spine. Surely he was too old to play games. Living as long as he had and being as honorable as he was it was sincere, right? Of course by now he knew what he wanted and meant every word that followed. Lost in those eyes, surrounded by his enticing scent she believed him. That was her first and biggest mistake of all. She had trusted him with her heart.
From the cover of trees Inuyasha smiled to himself. "Soon," he muttered as he looked on at the scene below him. Soon it would be time to make his final move.
O.k. so what did you think? Lame not lame, redo? Your input has helped me tremendously don't stop now. Please review. Also don't go anywhere this is far from over. The next chapter will be up really soon.