Disclaimer: i do not own, nor claim to own, anything strawberry panic. it all belongs to the respective creators.

Chapter Four: New Secrets

"Wait, what did you say?" Nagisa asked, still not catching on completely.

"I said 'the girl in the picture is Shizuma Hanazono'" Sakura repeated. "Who do we know here who goes by that name? Who do we know who looks similar to the girl in the picture?"

"No..." Nagisa began, realization dawning on her. "No way...you mean...?"

"Yes," Sakura confirmed, glad that Nagisa had finally caught on. "The girl in the picture, the girl I spent the first few years of my life with is Etoile-sama. That's why I felt like I knew her, and why I didn't recognize her immediately, because I had basically grown up with her and then never saw her again until now."

"Wow," Nagisa said, for lack of anything else to say. "Do you think Etoile-sama recognized you too then?"

"It's hard to say," Sakura said, shrugging and leaning against a table behind her. "It might explain why she was so forward with me our first night here, Shizuma had always been a sort of playgirl and her favourite pastime was teasing me to get a rile out of Sachiko onee-sama."

"Huh?" Nagisa asked. "How does that explain it?"

"Well, if she thought she recognized me as one of the girls she grew up with, then she might have had more reason to do what she did than just her playgirl nature." Sakura explained, thinking of the many times Shizuma had teased both her and Sachiko to no end.*Kind of like Sei*, Sakura thought amusedly as she thought about how those two were so similar in reasons and actions, but so different in personalities.

"Oh, I see." Nagisa said. "So, are you going to tell her?"

"Tell her what?" Sakura asked, still walking down the memory lane of her childhood before, as Sei would put it, all hell broke loose.

"Tell Etoile-sama who you are, and how you know each other," Nagisa clarified.

"WHAT?" Sakura exclaimed, whipping her head around to look at Nagisa so fast Nagisa thought she would get whiplash. "NO! NO FREAKING WAY!" Sakura exclaimed, looking both horrified and like a deer caught in the headlights at the same time.

"Why ever not?" Nagisa asked. "It's plainly obvious that you missed her, and still do, why wouldn't you tell her?"

"Because," Sakura said, calming down and looking at Nagisa straight in the eye. "There are things about me that I would have to tell her if I were to explain who I was. Things that I don't particularly like people to know about. It took me almost ten years to even tell Sachiko about it, and I always told her everything! That's what got me disowned in the first place and put me into this whole mess."

"So, there are things about you that I don't know?" Nagisa asked, somewhat hurt that her adopted older sister didn't trust her enough to explain things.

"Yes, yes there are," Sakura said, looking out the window. "It's not because I don't trust you with my secrets, quite the opposite in fact."

"What do you mean?" Nagisa asked.

"I trust you Nagisa," Sakura said, "but I don't trust myself. If I tell you, I don't trust myself to keep you safe and out of danger, out of the messes I always seem to be getting myself into. It already happened with my childhood friend, my sister and my closest friends from my old school, I don't want it to happen to you, or to Shizuma, or to anyone else for that matter."

"So, you're not telling Etoile-sama because you're afraid of putting her in danger?" Nagisa asked.

"No," Sakura said. "I'm not going to tell her, not until I am strong enough to protect her. Once I am, maybe I'll tell her, and maybe I'll tell you too, one day, when I can protect those I love...from myself." With that, Sakura ended the conversation there, leaving an unspoken agreement between the two not to tell anyone anything, not until Sakura was ready too.

"What is taking them so long?" Tamao asked, to no one in particular. Sakura had appeared at the top of the staircase and jumped from the second floor to the ground floor as if she were just jumping a hurdle in gym class. She had grabbed Nagisa and dragged her into a separate room and neither of the girls had come out yet.

"Calm down Suzumi-san," Miyuki said, not unkindly.

"And stop pacing," Shizuma added. "You're making me dizzy."

"But I'm worried," Tamao said, again to no one in particular. "They've been in there almost an hour. If they don't hurry up they're going to be late for class."

"Well it's a good thing I'm not going to class then," the three girls turned around to see Sakura walking towards them.

"Where's Nagisa?" Tamao asked.

"Why are you not going to attend class?" Miyuki wanted to know, then took in Sakura's dishevelled hair and red eyes, something she missed when Sakura came and grabbed Nagisa.

"Nagisa went to get her bag," Sakura said, answering Tamao's question, who immediately ran upstairs to follow her roommate. "I'm not going to class because I refuse to let school get in the way of my personal life." Sakura said, turning to Miyuki.

"Meaning...?" Miyuki asked, not pleased with Sakura's response.

"Meaning I will not let school take me away from my family, especially when they need me the most." Sakura stated.

"Which means...?" Miyuki prompted.

"It means," Sakura said "that the letter you gave me this morning was from the grande soeur of my biological sister, both of whom I went to school with last year. That letter was sent to inform me that my grandmother, whom both myself and my sister were very close to, just passed away recently and to inform me that my sister was an emotional disaster."

"I'm sorry," Shizuma said sympathetically.

"It doesn't matter," Sakura said. "I haven't seen her in over eleven years, it would have been nice of my grandfather to let me come back when she asked for me but what's done is done and I can't change anything. I can't be there for my grandmother, but I can be there for my sister. I'm leaving tonight and I probably won't be back until sometime next week."

"You do know that you have to get permission from the Head Sister to leave campus for that long, don't you?" Miyuki asked, making sure to clarify for Sakura the rules of the dorms.

"She already has," the four girls turned around to see the Head Sister. "Aoi-san explained the situation to me and requested that she be allowed to go home for a period of time and I agreed. I was just on my way to inform you of this Rokujou-san, but it appears that Aoi-san beat me to it." With a curt nod to the three girls, she turned on her heel and left the way she had come.

"How in the world did you get her to give you permission to leave for so long?" Tamao asked Sakura once the Sister was out of earshot.

"I'm very persuasive," Sakura said, "now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go pack. If I know Sachiko, and I do, I could very well be there for longer than I plan.

"What did you say?" Shizuma asked, instantly surprised to hear the name of one of her childhood friends mentioned by the new transfer student.

"I said, 'if I know Sachiko, which I do, I could very well be there for longer than I plan,'" Sakura repeated.

"Who is Sachiko?" Miyuki asked, never hearing the name before.

"She's my onee-sama, my biological older sister." Sakura explained, then left to go pack her things.

"What was that all about?" Miyuki asked Shizuma as the pair of sixth years watched Sakura climb the stairs.

"I don't believe it," was Shizuma's only response. "It really is her! No wonder..."

"What?" Miyuki asked, getting more and more confused.

"Aoi-san, Aoi-san is really her!" Shizuma was trying hard to get over her shock, but not fully succeeding.

"Shizuma, what on earth are you talking about?" Miyuki asked, having had enough of half explanations for one day.

"Remember when Aoi-san first came to Astraea?" Shizuma asked. "There was that incident in the dining hall during dinner that night and afterwards you asked me why I did such a thing."

"I remember," Miyuki said, not sure where her friend was taking this. "You told me that it was because Aoi-san looked and acted a lot like one of your childhood friends, before you came here, that you hadn't seen in ten or eleven years and that you just couldn't help yourself because you missed her so much."

"That's right," Shizuma confirmed, nodding her head. "Now I know why I felt that way."

"Really? Why?" Miyuki asked, genuinely curious.

"Because Aoi-san really is that friend. The friend I haven't seen in so long, the girl I was always closest to growing up around them, the younger sister of Sachiko Ogasawara."

Sakura was sitting on the stairs that led up to Astraea Hill, the photo album in her hands, as she waited for the taxi that would take her to the airport and, ultimately, her old home. She hoped she hadn't said too much to make Shizuma realize who she really was. As her taxi pulled up and the driver loaded her suitcase, she heard her name being yelled.

"SAKURA!" Sakura turned around at the shout, expecting to see Nagisa or Tamao, but was surprised to see Shizuma running up to her, her silver hair flying behind her as she tried to catch Sakura before she got in the taxi.

"Etoile-sama!" Sakura asked, surprised. "What are you doing here? Is something wrong? Did something happen to Nagisa?"

"I wanted to talk to you, before you left," Shizuma replied, catching her breath. "Nothing is wrong and nothing happened to Aoi-san."

"Well if nothing's wrong, with Nagisa or otherwise, what did you want to talk about?"

"I wanted to ask you if you..." Shizuma started, then stopped.

"If I...?" Sakura asked, genuinely confused.

"If you were going to stay longer than a week," Shizuma finished. "If so, I have to inform Miyuki so she doesn't murder you when you get back later than she is expecting."

"Oh, well honestly, I'm not sure how long I'll be staying, it could be anywhere between four days and four weeks. If it is longer I shall send word to Nagisa to inform you. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a plane to catch. Good day Etoile-sama." With that, Sakura gave a quick bow to Shizuma, climbed into the taxi and headed to the airport and the flight home.

Shizuma watched Sakura climb into the taxi and drive away, mentally kicking herself for chickening out the entire time. With a sigh that was half exasperation and half frustration, she turned around and started heading back to Miator, and the lecture from Miyuki she knew would come as soon as she ran into her long-time friend. She didn't have to wait long, by the time she returned to the school Miyuki was walking out to meet her, 'lecture-time' written all over her face.

"Shizuma! Where on earth have you been?" Miyuki ranted as soon as Shizuma was in earshot.

"I went to see Sakura," Shizuma stated calmly. "I was going to ask her if she remembered me, but I chickened out."

"What? Why?" Miyuki asked.

"I don't know," Shizuma replied honestly. "She looked so at peace, if I told her who I really was then that peace might be broken. We haven't seen each other in so long and there are so many questions I want to ask her but I don't know if she'll answer them."

"Like...?" Miyuki prompted.

"I don't know," Shizuma exclaimed. "Things like why she suddenly just disappeared from my life without a word, why is she living with Aoi-san instead of her own sister etc, etc, etc."

"Well how do you know she won't answer them?" Miyuki asked, attempting to calm her friend. "You won't know that until you ask her, and you won't be able to ask her until you tell her who you are."

"You're right," Shizuma sighed in resignation. "I won't know anything until I tell her. I guess that's a conversation I'll have to save for when she returns though."

"Good," Miyuki said, satisfied with her friend's acceptance, "and in the meantime," she grabbed Shizuma's wrist and began to drag her to the school, "you are going to come with me and do all that paperwork you've been doing you best to avoid."

"But Miyuki..." Shizuma whined at the thought of more paperwork.

"No buts," Miyuki said and that was the end of that. As Miyuki dragged Shizuma to the dreaded paperwork, Shizuma thought about Sakura, and what she would say to the girl when she returned to the school.

A/N: hey guys! so for those of you who have not figured it out, i switched between POVs in this chapter a little bit, hope that didn't confuse you guys too much. Next up: Sakura goes home to Sachiko and her friends...what will happen? R + R if you want to find out!