Hello all~ Sorry it took so long to update, but here's Chapter II of my mind-bendingly cracky crack fic.

Chapter II:

"So... you're telling me I have a pregnant dude in my town?" Manaka asked, her eyebrow raised inanely high.

"That is correct," DiZ affirmed.

"Wow. Just...oh, wow..." Manaka stammered, trying to find words. Any words.

"We're here for a DNA test," Riku chimed in.

"But not 'we' as in me and him," DiZ quickly added.

"Because that would be messed up?" Manaka questioned. "Seriously, dude, how does a guy even have a baby? I mean, you don't have to crap the poor thing out, do you?"

There was a long silence in the room as all three thought about the predicament, intil the silence was broken by a moan of "Oh, God... I'm going to have to crap out my baby..."

Meanwhile, in a less m-preg related scene, Xemnas was not happy. He had lost Saix, Sora had disappeared and his telescope had fallen off the cliff and into a magpie's nest. Coincidentally, he had also been bitten to shreds by a magpie.

So, after all of this, he had decided to go for a walk, hoping that magpie wasn't following him or something.

As he was walking past the l33t Office (otherwise known as Manaka's office), he noticed a certain pinkhead stalking around the back of the building, seemingly on some kind of failing covert spying-through-windows mission.

"Marluxia, what are you-" Xemnas began, but was promptly cut off.

"Shhhh! Get down!" Marluxia whispered in response, pulling his Superior down.

"Seriously, what is going on here?" Xemnas whispered.

"I'm trying to hear what's going on in there."

"...Why, exactly?"

"It's complicated..."

After a while of crouching behind the building and either only hearing illegible mumbling or worse still, nothing, Marluxia decided to call off the Almighty Eavesdropping Mission.

"Well, what a waste of time that was," Marluxia declared once they were out of the l33t Office's vicinity.

"Now will you tell me why you were eavesdropping on that girl anyway?" Xemnas tried asking again.

"It's..."

"Yes, complicated..."

"So much so that I can't explain it," Marluxia smiled.

"...Hang on, didn't I put you in charge of Castle Oblivion the other day? Aren't you supposed to be there?"

"Um... would you believe me if I said no?"

"No."

"Dammit."

Later that night, DiZ and Riku were sitting on the beach, looking out to the water.

"So... do you know whose it might be? The baby, I mean," Riku asked after a long silence.

"There's a few potential fathers."

"How many?"

"Eight."

Riku gaped in horror at the figure.

"Yes, that's right, Riku. I'm secretly... the town bike."

After a while of gaping, Riku shook his head to clear it of the many... many graphic images that surged through it.

"D-don't worry," he said. "I'll help you through all this. Because I... I love you!" he finished, before swiftly moving in for the kiss.

"Whoa," DiZ exclaimed, standing up, causing Riku to end up face first in the sand.

An uncomfortable (but understandable) silence ensued after all that, with Riku still face deep in sand.

"You know, I was... only kidding about all that," Riku said unconvincingly and muffled from his position in the sand.

"...For my own state of mind, I'll believe you," DiZ replied.

The next day, Manaka was out on the beach, unable to shake the feeling that an incident which was very uncomfortable and possibly even squicky to some readers had occured on this very beach, when Sora approached her.

"Hey, Manaka."

"Um...hey..." she responded.

"What's up? You sound... disturbed."

"I have a pregnant dude and a member of Organisation XIII in my town," she answered flatly.

"...A pregnant what now?"

"Oh, it's a very long, slightly OOC and very m-preg related tale," Manaka said. "One which I'll explain later. But off that subject, how's it going with you?"

"Okay... I just kinda miss my friends. I mean, I've been fighting for so long, not seeing them, and now I'm here, without them..."

"Aw... well, you've got me," Manaka smiled, hugging Sora again.

"I knew it! You're cheating on me with that girl!" came an angry, quacky voice.

"What? No, Donald, it's nothing like that! You know you're the only one!" Sora frantically explained, holding one of Donald's... er... wings. (Man, did that sound weird.)

Just as the couple broke into a loving embrace, another voice sounded.

"Gawrsh, Sora, you're... cheatin' on me with Donald?"

"Goofy? But... when did..." Sore stammered. Donald and Goofy both ran off in anger.

"Wait, wait! Donald! Goofy! Come back!" Sora called after his fleeting lovers, leaving a very bewildered Manaka on the beach.

"Heh, and I'm the town bike," DiZ smirked, looking at the trio.

So that's that! Feel free to review =)

*And as for the Sora/Donald/Goofy thing... well, we all thought it, really. Come on. If not... well, I'll consult a psychiatrist.*