Howdy, y'all! New chapter. Let us all rejoice. I was watching Batman Begins while I was doing this, so if Crane is in this one way more than everyone else...it's not my fault. It's just subconscious.

And I love how I'm ignoring tons of other viable Batman villains. Like, you know, Catwoman. And Ras a Ghul. And the Penguin. Maybe they'll make a cameo eventually. But you know, they aren't really INSANE...so they belong in Blackgate anyway.

But I digress.

Thank you all, again, for the reviews. You are fabulous. And here is a special thanks to the wondrously awesome people who re-inspired me with tons of new ideas. I give you a virtual internet cookie (not like the cookies on your browser or whatever those are, I mean like cookies for eating). And thanks to Sunflare2k5 and Evanessascence for the dancing idea. :)

But enough of my inane rambling.

"Harvey, help me move this."

"Can't. Busy."

The Joker sighed, putting the mini fridge down on the ground.

"Busy? YOU'RE the one who stuck your fat head through the bars, and you're the one who had to be sawed out. Now help me move this thing back in."

"But I only just moved in!" he said, arranging his hair care products on a little desk. "And if you can't pick up a mini fridge, you have problems, my friend."

"There's food in it."

Harvey shook his head at him. Their cell had only just got fixed, so they were both in the process of moving back in. They didn't have a whole lot of stuff, but it was enough to be a pain for the both of them.

"What are you busy doing, anyway?" the Joker sighed.

"Dancing." he replied, attempting to do a step on the ground. "Didn't you hear? It's our activity for the week."

"Dancing?" the Joker groaned, heaving the mini fridge back in his arms and lugging it slowly into the cell. "Did I hear you wrong, or are you speaking French or something?"

"You know I can't speak French." Harvey said. "I can barely speak English."

"That's not true."

"Then why did I fail it in high school?"

"That...never mind."

The Joker looked behind him as a nurse saw he was all moved in, and locked the door behind him. He rolled his eyes, and with much effort, got the mini fridge back to it's original location.

"I just don't want to be rusty when I dance with the ice queen," Harvey said, stretching.

"Ice queen?"

"Ivy." he said. "She broke up with Crane a few weeks ago, but now she's available again."

"And you're going to win her over with dancing?" the Joker asked, raising an eyebrow skeptically. "Well all right. You have a good time with that."

"Thank you!" Harvey said, missing out on the sarcasm. "I've been working on my quickstep."

The Joker giggled. Harvey stuck his tongue at him.

"Are you ready?" a nurse asked, knocking on the bars.

"Harvey is." The Joker smirked, stepping out of the unlocked door. Harvey scowled, but followed regardless.

They were soon joined by the usual- Harley, Ivy, Crane, and the Riddler. The Riddler greeted them with the usual.

"Morning. What do you call an elephant with two trunks?"

"A mutant." Harley answered seriously.

"No." Nigma shook his head. "Trunktastic."

"That's bad." Crane said. "Even for you."

"I know," he sighed. "I've been having writers block. What do you think of this one? There are two tomatoes in a water silo, and one of them turns to the other. He says- I have this cat at home, and he may or may not have the mange. What does his friend the pear then say after..."

"Can I stop you there?" the Joker sighed, holding up a hand, the other one massaging his temples in annoyance. "Not good. That one about the plucked bird was better."

"Thank you for your honest opinion." the Riddler said, nodding.

"Also, you are the single most annoying man I have ever met." the Joker said gallantly, bowing deeply. Nigma scowled.

"I saved your life, don't you forget. I saved all of your lives!"

"That electric shock wouldn't have been enough to kill us." Crane said, rolling his eyes. "You see, most of us are used to a certain amount of electricity, and the voltage in the Joker's joybuzzer would hardly have been enough to..."

"Smart ass." Harvey muttered. As the idea that he was defending Nigma popped into his head, he only scowled more.

Crane shot him a reproving glare.

"I like dancin'." Harley said, oblivious to the conflict that was rising around her.

"You like everything." Ivy said, glancing at her. "Name one thing you DON'T like."

"You've gotta be kiddin' me!" she squealed, looking slightly affronted. "I don't like that Batman! Overgrown rodent."

"Yeah. Did you feel that way when you gave him a smack on the lips, or are we talking about a different Batman?" Ivy smirked.

"What!?" the Joker yelped as Harley reddened.

"Circumstances." she snapped. "And who are you to talk? You kiss Batsy all the time."

"That's only because my kisses kill people." she said, crossing her arms.

"Somebody explain this to me." the Joker said, glaring at both Ivy and Harley in turn. They both ignored him.

"I wish I was Batman." the Riddler grumbled. "Gets to kiss everyone."

"I know what you mean." Harvey sighed. "It's so frustrating being me. I thought that once Phantom of the Opera came out, Gerard Butler would popularize the half mangled face deal. But he didn't. He only popularized himself."

"I'm so sorry." the Joker said sarcastically. "Can we get back to what matters? The fact that Harley here has KISSED the Batman?"

"I told you, Mistah J, it ain't your business."

"Not my...not my BUSINESS? Of course it's my business! Aren't you supposed to be freakishly in love with me?"

"Well, yeah, Puddin'!" she said earnestly. "But you gotta see it MY way. You were still bein' all mean and stuff. And when I started to pour my hurt and crying soul out to Batsy, he was nice to me."

"Nice? You kissed him because he was NICE?"

"Do you want me to back to Eddie?" she snapped, noting the tone of his voice.

"No." he said quickly. "I...it's in the past. And what's past..."

"Goodness." Crane exclaimed. "Say Edward, Is the Joker being reasonable?"

"Yes Jonathan, I believe he is."

"Stop the first name thing." Ivy said. "It's weird."

"I agree." the Riddler said. "Oh. Crane. By the way. I'm trying to initialize a movie night, and I was thinking, since you used to work here, maybe you could let them let us...?"

"I doubt I'll have much control over anything." he said dryly.

After a few more minutes, the troupe of rouges reached the multipurpose room they had seen so many times before.

"Welcome to the first day of the rest of your life!" the nurse said once they entered.

"Logically, every day is the first day of the rest of ones life." Crane said. "It's not just today. And it would have been today regardless of the silly activities you're forcing us to participate in."

"Who's ready for dancing?" the nurse clapped, ignoring him. "I'm going to set you up in pairs. Now, since there are two more men than women..."

"NO!" all four male villains yelled at the same time.

"No arguing." the nurse said, waggling her finger at them. They all scowled heavily.

"Well, Harley is my girlfriend. So I dance with her by default." the Joker said, pulling Harley close to him. She beamed.

"Incorrect. Harley, you're with Mr. Crane."

"Jonny!" she squealed, tearing off the Joker's side, scampering over to Crane. He only stood there, looking smugly at the Joker, who growled at him.

"Miss Ivy, dance with Mr. Nigma."

"My pleasure." she said dryly, walking over to the very pleased Edward Nigma.

It was as if in slow motion.

The Joker and Harvey Dent turned their heads around to look at each other, horror both etched deeply into their faces.

And then the room was filled with screams.

"No! NO! I refuse!"

"I will not dance with this LUNATIC!"

"Lunatic? I won't dance with you because you're a MAN!"

"Hey, you could do a lot worse than me, Clown Boy!"

"WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT CALLING ME THAT?"

"Hey!" the nurse yelled, stepping in. "Stop arguing. You're partners and that's that."

"This sucks." Harvey grumbled.

"Stop your whining." the Riddler said. "Riddle me this. If you were a cat trapped in a bottle, then what Pokemon would you choose? Because I choose you, Ivy."

"Thanks."

"One." the Joker said, holding a hand up. "Never reference Pokemon again."

"And two, you're with IVY. Of course you have no reason to complain." Harvey added.

"Exactly." the Joker nodded.

"See you guys?" Harley interrupted. "You can get along really well! Just have fun with this!"

"I refuse." they both said, crossing their arms.

"Look." the nurse sighed. "It's dancing, or double the shock therapy sessions."

"I'll solve this." the Riddler sighed with mock reluctance. "After all, I saved your lives. And I will save your friendship."

The Joker and Harvey then spoke at the same time.

"What friendship?" the Joker spat, just when Harvey exclaimed-

"Nothing can ruin our friendship!"

"Okay. I can sense that this is about to get awkward." the nurse said. "Everybody get into waltz position."

"We're not friends?" Harvey asked, looking at the Joker. He sighed.

"Harvey. Listen to me." he said painfully. "I don't want to label us as anything, because then we become an 'us'. If we're friends, we're a 'we'. And that's weird."

"But we're friends."

"There's that WE again!" he exclaimed. "Now just get into damn waltz position and quit yammering."

"I think we need bromance counseling."

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY!?!?" the Joker screeched.

"Bromance dude." Harvey explained. When two straight guys have a deep and complex friendship thats so deep and complex, it's like a rom..."

"Say it and I'll kill you."

"Waltz position!" the nurse ordered sharply.

"I don't like this." Harvey grumbled, as he and the Joker stood face to face. Their faces were both rigid and equally disgusted.

"Waltz position." the nurse ordered sharply. "Come on, you're keeping the whole class waiting."

Harvey and the Joker looked at each other, the disgust still etched deep into their faces. Both swallowing they came together and attempted to form the waltz position.

Of course, there had to be arguing about who would be the girl.

"I'm not the girl! You be the girl!" the Joker said, affronted as Harvey put his hand gingerly on his shoulder.

"Why? You wear makeup."

"It's not makeup!" the Joker yelled. "This is just my face!"

"As of 2008, it's makeup." Harvey said firmly.

"No." the Joker snapped. "It's been just my face since...forever. Now be the girl."

"Can I add somethin'?" Harley said, raising her hand in the air. "I don't think Mistah J should be the girl. Cause I have proof that he..."

"That's enough, Harls."

"Oh, so you think I'M a girl?" Harvey snapped to Harley, who shrugged.

"Mr. Joker, you're the girl."

"I'm not touching his waist."

The Joker glanced over at Harley, who was now deep in conversation with Crane. He was going to have to make sure she'd never mess around with anyone again. First the Riddler, then, APPARENTLY, Batman.

Crane would not be next.

He would deal with him specially.

"Okay." the nurse sighed, once Harvey and the Joker had finally subjected. "Now the waltz is really quite simple. Image there's a square on the ground, and you're stepping from each corner. It's one two three one two three..."

"Waltzing is fun." Harley said, doing the dance easily. It was clear that she was just dragging Crane around with her, as he clearly didn't understand.

He wasn't the most coordinated of people.

"I don't want to hear another riddle." Ivy was saying to the Riddler.

"But I've been working on it all day!" he said. "Ever since like, five minutes ago! It's really good..."

"No."

"You're doing it wrong." Harvey told the Joker. "It's step up, left, touch, back. Because you're the girl."

"Shut up." the Joker snapped. "And you're the one doing it wrong. It's step back, touch, right, and then..."

"I wear the pants in this relationship."

"DON'T CALL THIS A RELATIONSHIP!"

"I do not understand." Crane said, looking down at his feet. "I cannot correlate my leg motions with the steps."

"It's okay Jonny." Harley said. "I'll lead."

"So you're a man, and Joker is a girl." Ivy smirked. "That's interesting."

"Okay. So Ivy, you want to be added to my list. Is that so?" the Joker asked in a forcibly calm tone.

"Your list?" she asked, raising her eyebrow. "And exactly what would that entail?"

"The list of people who are going to get it from me later." he growled. "Right now, it's Crane, that nurse, and YOU."

"Why am I on this list of yours?" Crane asked, crossing his arms. "Because I was forced against my will to dance with your girlfriend?"

"Against your will?" the Joker scoffed. "Look at you. You're smug."

"I have reasons to be smug." Crane countered. "One, I'm smarter than you. Two, I'm much more attractive than you. And three, Harley and I have a much deeper connection than you two have."

"Hey!" the Joker snapped. "You are NOT more attractive!"

"Am so." he smirked.

"What about me?" Harley asked the Joker. "He just said we have a deeper connection than you and I! Ain't you mad about that?"

"I don't mean anything romantic!" Crane said, shaking his head. "But Harley...look at the facts. We went to the same college. We had the same job. We went down the same path, and now...we're both here."

"Aw, Jonny!" she exclaimed, giving him a tight hug. The Joker growled. "You can be my other best friend!"

"I have a terrific book in my cell," Crane said thoughtfully. "It discusses the chemicals and reactions behind fear, and how it makes us feel the way we do. It's very interesting."

"Ooh! Sounds interestin'. I've been readin' a book about..."

"You read?" Harvey asked, looking over at her.

"Stop underminin' me. Puddin', put him on your list."

"Harvey has a permanent spot on my list." the Joker said, shooting him a glance. "And he's not making the situation any better."

"You're just afraid of connecting with another human being." Crane said easily. "You've already had to admit your love for Harley, which almost cost you her affection. And now, you're unwilling to admit your...what was that word, Harvey?"

"Bromance."

"STOP IT!" the Joker shrieked. "You will NOT describe us as a word that is a play on the word romance!"

"My point exactly." Crane smirked. "You need the world to see you as inhuman, and here you are, connecting to other people, which is incredibly human."

"What a great breakthrough!" the nurse exclaimed. "Dancing cures everything."

"It's not the dancing." Ivy scowled. "It's Crane's irritating need to prove how smart he is every second of every day."

"That's not what you thought two weeks ago." he said, crossing his arms. Ivy didn't respond.

"You know Jonny, we should start a club." Harley said. "The Arkham Inmates Who Used To Work Here Club."

"Can the acronym spell something?"

"I ain't so good with words."

"That much is clear." the Joker grumbled under his breath, as the three pairs resumed their dancing.

"I'm good with words! I'm good with words!" the Riddler yelped, looking over his shoulder at Harley, who was still leading Crane around in the waltz. "Let me do it!"

"It has to make a word." Harley said. "And the word has to relate to the club in question."

"I am on it." he grinned.

"Can you try to not be such a loser when you're this close to me?" Ivy said flatly.

"Make me."

Ivy shot a glance at Harley, who gave her a thumbs up. She turned to the Riddler and shot him one, burning, sultry look.

He fainted.

"Took care of him." she said happily, prodding him with her foot. "Oh no, I have no partner. I guess I'll just sit down over here."

"Ivy, why don't you dance with one of these guys?" the nurse suggested, pointing at the Joker and Harvey, who were still arguing about bromances and dancing.

"Him. Dance with him." the Joker said, pushing Harvey towards Ivy.

"No." the nurse said. "The whole point of this exercise is to create bonds and friendships between you villains. Joker, you dance with Ivy. Harvey, you get to take a break for now."

"I don't like you." Ivy sneered at the Joker as they met, going into the waltz position.

"Funny. I don't care for you." the Joker replied, his eyes narrow.

"Come on Ivy, lighten up." Harley chided from across the room. "You're my maid of honor for when Mistah J and I get married."

"Married!?" the Joker yelped.

"This isn't a good day for you, is it?" Crane asked.

"No. No it is not."

Meanwhile, Harvey was making the unconscious Riddler pick his nose.

"Harvey, stop that." the nurse ordered, batting him away. "He saved your life. The least you can do is respect his unconscious body."

"That's no fun." he grumbled. Bored, he started flipping his coin, muttering under his breath.

"Okay. Have you all remembered the steps?" the nurse asked. Everyone looked at her blankly.

"What steps?" Crane asked.

"The steps. The dance I've been teaching you."

"We haven't been listening to you." Ivy told her. "We were busy talking about Harvey and this lunatic."

"Thank you for the compliment." the Joker bowed.

"It's not a compliment."

"It is if I take it as such."

"Will you stop talking?"

"Only if you stop insulting me."

"That's not very likely."

"Then I won't stop talking."

"You're pathetic."

"You're just GREEN with envy!"

"That's a stupid pun."

"You have a stupid face."

"At least my face isn't misshapen."

"I think you're referring to Harvey now."

"That's enough!" the nurse yelled, stopping the argument in its tracks. "I know you don't get along. But that's what this is all about! Building ties. Creating bonds. Becoming friends. Joker, we all know you have a weird face. And Ivy, your face is sort of weird. I mean, it's green. So why don't you just meet in the middle?"

"I think Ivy and I agree on one thing." the Joker said, his narrowed eyes directed at the nurse. Ivy was wearing a similar expression. The nurse gulped as the two villains flew at her, attacking her every way they could.

"My face is NOT WEIRD!" Ivy screeched, slapping the nurse across the face with a now thorny hand. "MEN HAVE DIED BECUSE OF THIS FACE!"

"And it's not MY fault my face looks like this!" the Joker screamed, pulling something from his pocket. "I was chucked head first into a vat of ACID!"

"You don't mess with us." Ivy growled, her voice low. The Joker started grinning.

"You have quite a lovely face, dear nurse." he giggled. "But we know how jealous you are of us. I think it's time you joined our ranks."

And he released a cloud of Joker toxin on the nurse, who started laughing instantaneously.

"Stupid gas..." Harvey yelled, covering his mouth and running out of the room. Harley and Crane followed.

"That's what you get." the Joker snapped, now serious again as the nurse cackled raucously. "The last thing I need is to feel insecure about my face."

Ivy, who was immune to all toxins and therefore unaffected by the gas, nodded. The Joker looked at her curiously.

"Why aren't you peeling out of here?"

"I'm immune to your toxin." she said easily. "Remember?"

"Now I remember why I don't like you." he grumbled, walking out of the room. She followed him.

"You remember why I don't like YOU right?"

"Cause I'm mean to Harley or something, isn't that it?"

"Exactly. You are a foul, no good, deceiving, loathsome..."

Ivy's voice faded away as they continued down the hall.

But seconds later, Harvey, his hand still clamped over his mouth, skidded into the room, which was still filling with Joker toxin. Looking around blindly, he stumbled forward to the still unconscious Riddler. He picked him up with one arm and slung him over his shoulder, running back out of a room.

He passed a team of paramedics, who were undoubtedly running to rescue the nurse from her fate, and once he got to the hallway their cells were in, he put the Riddler back down on the ground and shook him until he woke back up.

"Don't hit me," he instantly said upon seeing Harvey standing over him.

"I'm not going to hit you." Harvey told him. "Unless you tell me a riddle. You know, that ALWAYS applies. Just don't be stupid, and I won't hit you."

"What happened?"

"Well, Ivy knocked you out cold with her womanly charm or whatever, and then the Joker decided it would be hilarious to unleash Joker toxin on the room. Everyone ran out, without you, so I dragged you out myself."

"Does that mean...we have a bromance?" he asked hopefully.

"Oh, hell no!" Harvey cried. "I still can't stand you. But last time we had to do this stupid 'team-building love everyone around you activity', you saved me. And fair is fair. Now get in your damn cell and never mention this again."

"Thanks Harvey. You know, if you think of this in terms of riddles..."

And he was rudely interrupted by Harvey's fist.

"What did I just tell you?"

"You know what?" Nigma said as he walked into his cell. "You will always be the same old Harvey."

"Whatever."

The Riddler then turned to Crane.

"Hey Crane?"

"What?"

"Do you want to have a bromance?"

"Absolutely not."

"Damn."

That's that! I will update again. Thank you for reading, and thank you more for reviewing! 3

And if you're wondering when it was that Harley kissed Batman, it was sometime in the Animated Series. I don't remember exactly when.