Author's note: hi again! Second chapter!

Chapter 2: What. The. HELL?

The monster dived for Kyon. Run. His conscience told him. Run like you have never run before! So he did. The thing glided across the floor catching up fast. Crap crap crap CRAP! His mind yelled. He didn't bother looking back anymore, he just had to get away!

SMACK!

Ah yes, that's where he ran into what felt like the wall of a force-field of closed space.

"Shit." He muttered. In the distance he thought he saw red blobs swirling round a big blue thing. But right now he was more interested in the fact that he was going to get his soul eaten…or…something bad like that. What the hell am I supposed to do? His mind repeatedly screamed.

"HEY, KOIZUMI!"…No response.

"HARUHI? (Bad idea) ASAHINA? NAGATO?"

"Yes?" He spun round. There stood before him was Miss Nagato herself.

"Oh, thank god! Can you get rid of that thing?" Kyon pointed at the monster who was now pretty intrigued by the force-field wall.

"The Demon?"

"Yes."

"I cannot."

"WHAAAAA? WHY? CAN'T YOU ERASE THE DATA OR SOME SHIT LIKE THAT?"

"I cannot see it."

"Then how…"

"You, are here."

"Thank-you captain obvious. As much as I like you, the demon is pretty fascinated by the wall. Once it miraculously figures out what it is. I'M WORM FOOD!"

"What is worm food?"

"Never mind. You were saying?" She tilted her head. Confusion? Second emotion? Nah she didn't know what a glasses fetish was.

"About me, being here?" He suggested

"But if you are here everything is…ok."

"HOW? HOW IS EVERYTHING- wait… is that…how you feel about me?" Oh dear god. She loved him! Maybe she wasn't an alien! Maybe she just said she was to contain her feelings for him! Did she want him to stay away? Was it because she thought he loved Haruhi? Never. If she really is human then maybe…they could start a future together!

"What do you mean? If you had read the bookmarked page you should know how to slay a demon, Perform an exorcism, to damn a dead body and to-"

"Book…mark?"

"You did not read it?"

"I-uh didn't get home in time." She walked behind him and held him arms out in front of him!

"Where is it?"

"What?"

"Demon"

"Oh, over… here." He walked towards the mesmerized demon thingy with Nagato hanging on to his elbows shuffling behind him.

"Imagine an absorbing feeling in the palms of your hands." So he did. Strangely the demon made a noise which was a cross between a squeal and a scream…disturbing.

"Grab it." Ok…ew. It was drenched in rotten blood.

"Pull it towards your chest" Did he have to? Sighing he obeyed. It reeked of rotting flesh, lovely. Was that why Nagato had let go? He pulled the demon towards him while trying not to puke. Ugh. I'm not gonna want to be doing his often. Wha-? When did-?

A gaping hole appeared in his chest! As he looked down it was like looking into a black hole leading to nothingness. The whole thing was black with a purple spiral swirling round and round and… Oh god.

His legs trembling and his stomach back-flipping he carried on dragging it towards the hole. Soon enough, the demon was sucked right into the gaping hole. It was as if a hurricane had formed out of the black sea in his chest and had been summoned face first. It had leaned in as if to explore the portal and had been twisted inwards.

"I-is it over?" Kyon innocently asked.

"Yes. It is over." Nagato muttered behind him.

"If I collapse will you look after me?" She blinked.
"…Yes."

"Thanks." He said to her. He would have sat down if he could, but the floor was covered in maroon blood and the demon's garments! She walked over and picked them up, observing them.

"Was that an exorcism?"

"No. That was banishment."

"Oh. Right. So I'm not an exorcist or anything like that?"

"You are an exorcist."

"WHAT?

"…" An Exorcist? Seriously? Oh dear God! Why was this day turning out from bad to worse?

"That is right. Miss Suzumiya wanted exorcists to walk the earth. Also, she wished for one to be close to her." She pointed at him"Are you injured?"

"What?"

"…"

"Uh- I think…" He looked down. All that was there was his solid chest. No gaping hole. No path to nothingness. No portal. Just his normal school uniform. He even thumped his chest just to make sure that there wasn't anything odd about it.

"I-I don't know. I don't feel sore…but there was that hole…"

"As long as you are ok then the world cannot end, neither will it be infested with demons."

"Right. Did Haruhi read a book about demons or something?"

"No. A relative of hers recently died. She now believes that when people die their spirits go to an alternate dimension where data is altered by 3.4563248-"

"Is this going to get confusing?"

"I am unsure of what is confusing to you."

"Never mind. Just carry on."

"The data is altered so that the area which will seem endless to the human mind shall be created and destroyed at will. Not just by Miss Suzumiya but by people who she chooses."

"Hm. So when I die I'll go to this place because she chose me I guess?"

"No. You will be able to alter the data because she chose you. If she approves of the human they go to the selected dimension. If she does not approve of the human the human shall go to this place. The closed space. The Demon that you banished was the spirit of the murderer of her relative. She longed for him or her to die. So the human died of a heart attack yesterday at 09:03"

"…o…k…then." Now, His head was spinning. He felt himself lose his balance, he staggered, trying to stay on his feet…fail. The last thing he saw was Nagato running towards him to catch him before he collided with the blood-stained floor.

Author's note: *Groans* this took a while to write!

About the whole "banishment" thing was meant to be like the demon was getting dragged down to hell through Kyon. If you still don't get it all shall be explained next chapter! If not then feel free to PM me.