What Now
*Note: I haven't written in I dunno how long, but I want to see if I can finish this story or atleast wrap it up in some way.
Recap: Last time in Breaking His Vows Ray was dealing with the consequences of hurting his pregnant wife by sleeping with Neela.
Neela finding out that she was pregnant too and his brother- Ryan, and his sister in law- Lily.
( Ray & Lexi's Apartment)
~ *~ Ray & Lexi ~ *~
" I don't want to hear anymore I think you've said more than enough and made yourself pretty clear," Lexi said, fighting the urge to cry. The last thing in the world she wanted to do right now was cry in front of Ray.
" Baby please if you'd just listen to me, I just," Ray said, though everything that he could possibly say didn't sound like it would sound right if he spoke it out loud.
" What Ray? You love us both. You never meant for me to find out. It'll be okay. You want to be in our child's life. Which of those is it? Or is it all of those? I mean I don't even know what you expect to me say to you right now.
Do you know how much you hurt me?"
A sick feeling took over him as he could only imagine the kind of pain he was putting her through even as he spoke.
Would things have been different if he had never loved Neela at all? Or had he been fooling himself when he got involved with Lexi and then finally married her?
"I-I don't know. I've never been where you are," he said quietly.
" I really want to say I hope someday that you are where I am. That you are in the position where someone hurts you deeply. Where your heart is breaking because all you've done is loved that person, taken care of that person, been there for them through their darkest and their roughest hours,"she said. " I might not be something special to you because I'm plain, I'm ordinary, I work at Starbucks but I am human and that means I have feelings."
"No! Why would you say that? I've never said you weren't special, or looked down on you because you work at Starbucks."
" Some things aren't enough for some people. I am what I am Ray and if that's not enough for you then you did marry the wrong person."
~*~ Lily & Ryan ~ *~
The two teens had still been listening to everything that their older siblings each said, even though they both knew that they shouldn't be listening to this conversation at all.
" Maybe we shouldn't be listening,"Lily said softly after a moment, even though she was still very mad about everything.
"No we definitely shouldn't, both of them will kill us if they know we've been listening up until now," Ryan whispered," come on maybe we can sneak out and find something fun to do."
" I guess."
Ryan watched from his spot to see if there was a way to slip past the fighting couple, because they were still standing in the living room of the apartment. "They'd see if we went out there."
" Well how else do you propose we get out of here?"
" Think they'll move anytime soon?"
" I dunno, maybe."
~ *~ Ray & Lexi ~ *~
" How did we get here?" Ray asked looking at her,"how did things end up like this between us? Of all the people in the world-"
" Don't do that," Lexi said cutting him off.
" Do what?"
" Stand there and wonder how, because you know and I know you know. I can see if on your face."
" Just because my feelings resurfaced doesn't mean its been this way forever," he said. " I never in a million years would have proposed to someone else if I was in love with someone else."
" Well you are, you were, you have been." This was definitely not the homecoming that she had in mind after being in a coma for a long time. What she wanted was to lay down and forget it all.
" Well then what now? I mean Neela's pregnant, you're pregnant."
Lexi's face went white as she looked at Ray, surely she had just heard that wrong.
Was he serious! In this already complicated status of their marriage now, there was this too!
"You have got to be kidding me!"
Oh shit! He realized that she hadn't known about Neela because he hadn't told her everything, she had only just found out about the affair before everything else that had happened.
"I'm sorry," he said." I.. . . that might not have been the best way to tell you."
" No," she said her voice turning cold," definitely not the best way at all. I just got home. I'm tired. I don't want to be here. I'm nearly five months pregnant. I'm already having to stand here and deal with things, with the fact that you're in love with someone else but married to me. That's not normal in my book, and I really don't want to discuss anything more tonight."
" Alright that's fair, but please just don't make any rash decisions or do anything stupid. No matter what happens between us, what I felt for you was real. I love you, I married you. Our unborn child shouldn't be punished for my mistakes for my poor judgment."
" Regardless of the fact you have as of recently treated me poorly, leaving me home alone while I'm pregnant, cheating on me. This child is my everything as for you and us I won't decide right this second, but nothing you can say or do is going to change things now. It won't take the hurt away," she said before turning to walk into their bedroom.
Ray ran a hand through his hair trying to come up with something anything to atleast show her that he still cared." Baby," he said as he followed her to their bedroom.
She was standing at the chest of drawers and pulled out a pair of comfortable pjs and turned to look at him.
" I said I was done for tonight Ray, all I want is to get some sleep."
" I know…its just I mean can I get you anything? Do you need anything? You haven't said how you're feeling."
" That's because I'm hurt and I'm trying very hard to keep my emotions under control."
" Right stress is the last thing you need."
" Good night," she said simply as she headed into the bathroom to change clothes for bed.
~ *~ Lily & Ryan ~ * ~
" Now is the time to make our escape," Ryan whispered once he saw Lexi and his brother head into the bedroom. Quickly he moved for the door opening it quietly so it wouldn't make any type of noise and ushered Lily out of the apartment silently closing the door. The two took off towards the bank of elevators and pushed the down button to go down to the lobby.
As soon as the elevator doors slid open they stepped on and pushed the button for lobby riding the elevator all the way down.
~*~ Ray & Lexi ~ *~
Ray knew that if Ryan hadn't been sleeping on the couch, and Lily in the spare room that Lexi more than probably would have told him to sleep on the couch tonight.
Not wanting to upset her anymore than she already was he headed out of the bedroom and towards the living room moving across the floor to the fire escape and climbing out onto it and sitting there.
What was he supposed to do? He did want to be with Neela, and he had meant that when he told her that. He also did love Lexi and everything he said to her tonight and before was all true. She had been there for him, she was his wife, he wanted to be there for his kids both of them. Only the question What Now? Ran through his mind.
Did he stay married and keep true to his wedding vows, the ones he was already breaking? Did he file for divorce because inevitably Lexi would never forgive him for breaking her heart and ruining their marriage? Did he marry Neela once his divorce was final if he got divorced?
No answers seemed to be coming to him atleast nothing that seemed right or fair to either woman if there was even a chance of being fair to either now.