"Sayuki? Where are you?" Sayuki could hear the echoing call of her mother as she nervously looked for her. She already knew what was coming. It was always the same, but she couldn't avoid seeing her parents forever. The longer she hid the more frightened she became and the more she crushed her mother. She didn't want to face the disapproving and cold eyes of her father though. She didn't want to see the pain in her mother's eyes as she accused her for all the suffering she brought on her. She didn't need to. The images in their distant, hateful eyes filled every corner in her mind.
"Sister?" Sayuki's head snapped up from the ball she had curled herself into as she heard her name. She made a small thump as her head hit the wall of the dark closet. She gasped, but covered her mouth quickly. The room outside fell silent, but still she didn't breath. Suddenly she heard the scraping sound as her closet door was pushed open. No light poured inside the closet though. "Mom and dad are looking for you..."
Sayuki could hear the shuffling off clothes being moved as her little brother made his way into her closet slowly. It was small and didn't take long for her to feel the heat of his body touching hers. She sat there silent though, breathing once again. She felt his body lean against hers, as he too said nothing more. She put her head down into her arms again as they sat like that for what seemed like forever. She didn't care though; she wished they would stay like that forever.
"You're not going to force me out there or tell them where I am, are you Rei?" Sayuki asked after a while. She could see his golden hair even in the dimly lit closet. She felt his head shake against her neck. Sayuki's lips twitched into a smile, before she ruffled his hair lovingly. She knew he wouldn't, but she still couldn't seem to trust him if she didn't ask. "Why not..?"
"Why should I tell them? I know what they're like... I wouldn't feed you to the wolves." Kei said firmly as he brought his legs closer to himself, wrapping his arms around them tightly. His head was lowered and he looked much younger than his age as sympathy clouded his face. Sayuki leaned against him, and closed her eyes once again. As she listened to their slow breathing in sync, she slowly began to drift into sleep. Before she knew it, they both were gone into their dreams.
Sayuki jumped as the closet door was slammed to the side. Her eyes opened to a blinding light and she flinched. Beside her, her brother moaned as he too awoke from sleep. Sayuki had to blink a few times before she could make out the angry figure in front of her. Her second sister stood there, hands on hips as she tapped her foot impatiently. "Why the hell didn't you come when you were called for?"
"I'm sorry Suzu... I didn't hear." Sayuki whispered her lie as she sat up straight. She bit her lip, glancing at the clock behind her sister. It was already past eight in the night. "We fell asleep in here talking..."
"I'm not stupid. I know you were trying to hide. Stop being such a brat and come out already. Don't make me come and get you every time I visit." Suzu replied exasperated. "Why do you have to make life so damn difficult all the time?"
"You're the one being a brat..." Rei replied sleepily as he yawned. He stretched; more relaxed then Sayuki when it came to their older sister. Even though he was a year younger than Sayuki, and three below Suzu and her twin Yumiko he didn't act it. Sometimes Sayuki thought he was older than them all. He was much more responsible than Sayuki and sometimes even their sisters. He was also the only boy, their only other sibling being four, Ai. He was surrounded by girls; Sayuki thought maybe that's why he was.
"I don't want to hear that from someone like you." Suzu muttered coldly, before whipping around on her heel and walking towards the door. She turned to look back at them and narrowed her eyes. "Don't make me come back up here for you Sayuki. They want to see you at the table NOW." Her sister empathized the last word in a warning not to dawdle.
As her sister left the room, Sayuki let out her breathe not realizing she had been holding it in. Still she didn't move. Her brother was the first to exit the closet, standing outside it and stretching. He smiled warmly at her, helping to comfort her fast heart rate. He held out his hand to her, as his shaggy blond hair hid his blue eyes. Sayuki took it tentatively and he pulled her out from the shadows of the closet.
"I didn't eat, do you mind if I come down with you?" Rei asked casually as she fidgeted with the dress she wore. Sayuki looked from the dress to his soft eyes, and smiled. She nodded gently, and he smiled, grabbing her hand once again to hold it. She had seen him eat earlier. She knew he wasn't going for that but for her. He could always tell when she was afraid and knew very well how troubled she was when it came to her parents. Having him there would make it easier, but still she didn't want to go.
"Thank you." Sayuki whispered as he led her out from the room and down the stairs. He just smiled at her before turning to look ahead. As they made their way through the house and approached the dining room they stopped. Rei smiled at her one more time, and squeezed her hand as they entered the area.
Sayuki's father sat at the far end of the table. He was a tall man who was rather handsome for his age. His hair was black speckled with gray hairs. His face was sharp, his eyes narrow and cold. Unlike Sayuki and her brother his eyes were a dark black like their twin sisters. He sat straight in his chair, his shoulder straight and wide. His face was covered by the newspaper he was reading, but Sayuki already knew the expression he wore. She didn't see much of a change from it ever.
Her father snapped his paper, lowering it so they could see his face. Sayuki knew he had heard them enter, and swallowed nervously. He didn't look at her though, but instead kept his eyes glued to the paper. He drank from the coffee that sat beside him, sipping it before placing it back down. It made a clanging sound as it hit the saucer. "Sit." With that one word from him, Sayuki didn't think and sat obediently. Her brother went to the kitchen, his eyes locked on their father.
As if on cue her mother entered the room, her blond hair tied in a tight bun. Her mother was just a few inches shorter than her father, but Sayuki felt like she was just as tall as her six foot father. Her blue eyes were a replica of Sayuki's but were touched up with light makeup to make them brighter. Her mother was on the older side, but had few wrinkles. Sayuki always thought her mother might be beautiful but her mother's expression seemed to stop that thought. She couldn't think of her as beautiful, she was too scared of her.
Sayuki crossed and uncrossed her legs nervously. Her mother silently sat at the other end with her father. She clasped her hands together slowly, and looked at Sayuki from the corner of her eye. Sayuki averted her eyes from her mother and looked to the ground. Her mother let out a sigh. "You don't have anything to say for yourself?"
Sayuki looked up, alarmed by her tone and the questioned. She looked over at her brother for an explanation but he looked just as confused as she was. She looked back at her father to see if he knew anything, but he still seemed to pay no attention to her. She looked to her mother her eyes wide at the sight of the sudden chill she felt at her mother's glare.
"You're going to keep up the innocent act?" Her mother asked coldly. Sayuki still said nothing, her tongue twisted and at a loss for words. She brought her hand to her mouth out of nervous habit. After a moment of chilling silence between them, Sayuki couldn't handle the stare from her mother any further. She decided to speak up, but she didn't get the chance. Her mother's hand suddenly slammed against the table. The shock from the sudden attack made her father's cup jump from the saucer. The coffee spilt a few drops before landing noisily back. "Say something!"
Her mother's screech rang through her ears. She flinched out of the piercing cry. She didn't regain herself fast enough for her mother though. Her mother put her head into her hand and rubbed her temple roughly. Still between her long fingers that hid her face, Sayuki could see her mother's cold stone eyes that at the same time seemed to be worn. "Fine, keep up the act, I'll tell you. Your school interrupted me during an important meeting to call and inform me of your sudden absence."
Sayuki's eyes grew even larger. She had forgotten about leaving school early and the consequences. She had been so shaken up by everything; it hadn't crossed her mind. "I had to leave..." Sayuki spoke softly, her voice wavering.
"Dare I ask the reason?" Sayuki's head shot up from the ground where it seemed to look once again. The reaction didn't seem to shock her mother, but anger her. Sayuki could tell her mother already had made out where she had been in her mind. It most likely wasn't even close to the truth.
"I wasn't feeling well. I came straight home, I'm sorry I didn't inform the school!" Sayuki's voice grew louder but her uncertainty in their belief and despair showed in her voice. "I just felt so bad I didn't get the chance..." Her voice drowned together as her mother's face grew darker with disbelief and disgust. Sayuki dug her nails into her palm as her mouth hung open. No matter what she could say, nothing would change her mother's mind.
"You expect me to believe that?" Her mother asked calmly. Before she could even mutter a word her mother continued after letting out a loud exhausted sigh. "Why can't you be like your sisters? They were always decent during their school years. Of course there's the exception of Yomiko, but she never gave us this much trouble... She never went running around town like some sort of hooligan." Her mother dropped her head into her propped hand.
Sayuki stood up abruptly suddenly finding the strength. "I didn't do such thing! I came directly home! Why won't you believe me!?" Sayuki protested, her arms shakily holding her up against the table. Her mother looked up to her, her eyes blank. There was no getting through to her. She would believe nothing.
They both said nothing; they didn't move. Suddenly her father closed his paper softly and placed it on the table. He finished his coffee, now Sayuki and her mother's eyes both on him. He stood after finishing, the only sound of his chair against the ground moving. He stepped towards Sayuki passing her mother in silence. With a swift motion her brought his arm up and dropped it as he struck her face sharply.
"Don't be so disobedient to your mother." Sayuki's eyes were glazed over and wide with shock. She brought her hand to her red cheek. It stung but she still touched it. She suddenly couldn't breathe or swallow as he continued his voice distant and uncaring. "We allowed you to go to a public school unlike your siblings. Even under my best judgement I allowed you to go there with all those low class scum. I knew you would disappoint us, but you begged. Don't be so ungrateful and apologize. If I hear you skip out again you won't live such a life of luxury."
Sayuki gagged on her words. His eyes pierced through her and she stepped back. She bumped into the table and rattled the cups on it. Clasping her hands on the edge of the table, her vision began to blur. Everything turned hazy and fuzzy and she couldn't make out her parents anymore. She gripped tighter. Everything began to spin as she felt her own legs shake.
"Don't act like you were victimized and so pathetically. Stand up straight and show some pride." Her father instructed each word like a whip at Sayuki's face. She tried to stand straight, but her legs were too weak. Her father grabbed her arm and pulled her up roughly. As soon as he let her go though, she fell to her knees, cold tears streaming down her face. "I didn't expect much from you anyways..."
"Why don't you just stop already!?" Sayuki didn't look up as her brother's voice rang in the room. "She said she didn't do anything, so she didn't. Stop attacking her already!" Sayuki looked up to her brother. She blinked, clearing her eyes of tears so she could see him standing in front of her protectively now. A cigarette dangled from his lips, not yet lit. She grabbed onto his pants and tugged on them. He didn't turn around though.
"What's in your mouth?" Her father asked, ignoring his earlier comments. His eyes zoned in on the death stick, before meeting with Rei's determined eyes. When Rei said nothing, their father raised an eyebrow, waiting for an answer still.
"It's a cigarette you jacka-" Rei's words were cut off as his father swung his arm once again that night, hitting Rei across the face. His cigarette flung from his mouth and down onto the floor. Their father walked over to it and crushed it with his foot silently. He lifted his foot and looked at the remains. He began to walk out of the room, only stopping to speak once more.
"I didn't send you to good school for you to act like such a fool. You're to take over the family business, so stop with any other nonsense you may be doing. I don't have time to babysit you both every minute." With that he left the room. Nobody spoke as they listened to his footsteps head up the stairs.
Rei bent down to Sayuki's level and grabbed her hand. She gripped his hand tightly as he helped her to stand up. She held onto his arm tightly as they both faced their mother. She said nothing though. Instead Sayuki's eyes moved to her brother's red cheek guiltily. She knew he had only done it for her sake. He had wanted to distract her father away from her before she broke finally. She didn't want to be the cause of his pain though, but she had been.
Staring up at her brother's expressionless face she knew the anger that was brewing behind his blue eyes. He would never admit to it being her fault, but she knew it was. The fights between her father and him were often from him rescuing her. To prove her wrong though he'd hold his anger inside and put up his usual grinning face. Eventually he'd lash out; she wouldn't be able to handle it though if he did end up in trouble.
"Rei... I'm sorry!" Sayuki pleaded for his soft forgiving smile with her words. Like a soft rain he washed away specks of her guilt as he smiled angelically and whispered for her not to worry about it. The smile vanished though as he turned back to his mother and her heart plummeted at the sight. She grabbed her chest and twisted her clothing as she clutched to her shirt. She felt a sharp pain ring through her chest but couldn't cry out from the shock. The sudden pain shocked her and it showed on her face.
"Stop acting the little victim..." Her mother's words brought another sharp pain to her heart as she seemed to notice Sayuki's pain. She looked up to her mother and cried out a plea for help with her eyes. Her mother's glazed over eyes only held coldness and resentment. Sayuki brought her other hand to arm and held it against her chest. Her nails dug into her skin. Slowly the sharp pain in her chest dispatched as a numbing pain sent a sensation through her arm. She dug her nails in deeper erasing the pain from her chest completely. Sayuki preferred the pain in her arm, the pain she controlled.
"Stop..." Sayuki muttered helplessly as she focused now on her arm. Her mother sighed from the table and shook her head. Everything began to clear from her mind as she stared at her mother. All that stayed were the eyes of her father and mother accusing her and denying her. Her nails dug further and Sayuki gritted her teeth from the pain.
"You're causing so much trouble for us. Why can't you be more proper? Now I'll have to deal with your father and the guilt from not paying attention more to your schooling..." Her mother complained tiredly. They eyes appeared again, stronger now. As she dug in further she felt warmth touch her hand as it went deeper. She didn't look down though she just stared along with her brother. "I won't be getting my proper amount of sleep thanks to this whole ordeal..."
"I'm sorry..." Sayuki spoke slowly. She stepped back a few times. She turned around and without a thought ran to her room. She heard her brother behind her, but she didn't look back. She closed the door behind her. Her legs wobbled and she fell onto the floor with a thud. She felt dizzy from all that happened. She lifted her arm and stared at her arm as she unclenched her nails from her skin. Her red blood spilled from the small cuts in her arms she had created. She stared at her arm in disbelief and horror from what she had done with just her hand. A tear slipped from under her eyelid as she closed it, dropping hair arms to her side as she sat in the dark.