This is kind of off topic of my story, but have you guys read the new Privilege Series book, Pure Sin? I just finished it in 2 hours (no kidding) and I'd love to hear your opinion of it. I, for one, thought it was amazing, and really really intense! So anyways, hope you like this chapter!

I sped-walked through the door of the Great Room, and tried to shove my way through the crowd migrating towards the quad. All of my friends were behind me, and they were probably going to ask me later why I ditched them, but I honestly didn't care right then. The only thing I could focus on at the moment was getting out of here, and finding a way to escape into my own little world. Luckily, I knew just the place to go to.

On the quad, everyone had clumped together in there little cliques, and I saw Reed in the midst of her friends. West Brightley, a guy who lives a couple doors down from me, was talking to her, his tall form towering over hers. He seemed to be joking, flirting, and a flash of anger coursed through me. Was he making a move on her? Already? I hadn't even told anyone we had broken up. Maybe he picked up on my pained expression and that weird squeaking noise I made when I saw her. Either way, he was a jackass if he was trying to get with her the second he realized Reed was single.

I kept my head down and focused on getting to the J.A.M. building, not wanting to think any more about that. About how probably tons of guys were going to go after her now, considering she was the Billings president, and of course, that she was incredibly gorgeous. And that gorgeous girl used to be mine...

I took a deep breath. Get over it, Josh. You broke up with her, remember?

I slipped into the building, walked down the hallway, and opened the door to the art studio. It was, thankfully, empty. An art teacher I had a few years back, Mr. Daber, told me that painting your feelings was the most therapeutic thing an artist can do. Today, I was taking his advice to heart, because if any one was in need of therapy, it was me.

I sat down on a stool at my station, and pulled out a canvas I had stored under my table. I had already started it a while ago, but never got a chance to finish it. It was an unpainted charcoal profile of Reed.

I set up my paint, put the canvas on an easel, and sat down at my stool. Then I just stared at it. There she was. The innocent, pure, profile of the love of my life stared back at me, and I felt like either bursting into tears, or having a panic attack. Both would cause me extreme humiliation if any one ever witnessed it. But it was all just such a cruel joke. To finally have something in my life, something so perfect, something that filled me with pure bliss every time I thought about it, just have it taken all away within an instant. Everything in my life seemed to end that way, my education at St. James Prep, my friendship with my old roommate there, my friendship with Thomas, and now my relationship and love of Reed. Everything just keeps being taken away from me.

I slumped my back until it formed a C shape, and just stared at the floor. So make for this being therapeutic, this was just down right depressing. It reminded me of everything that's ever gone wrong in my life, all the things I wish so desperately I could change, but know I can't. I'm not one to pity myself, but that's what I seemed to be drowning in right now.

I didn't notice the door being opened until I felt a presence in the room with me a few seconds later. I turned around, wondering who else would come to the art studio this early on a Monday, and saw none other than Reed herself.

My heart clenched with anger, and I felt like some one had just shot some drugs through my veins. Well at least this angry sensation was less painful then what I felt last time I saw her.

"You can't be here," I told her, hoping for all the world that would make her leave. I couldn't handle this, seeing her there was almost worst than seeing her in the painting. The painting.. Oh god, it was still on my easel, wasn't it? Oh well, it doesn't matter now.

"Why not? Maybe I've developed an interest in painting," she half-heartedly joked. Was she seriously trying to make a joke? Did she possibly think I'd find any of this funny?

I stood up, a little roughly, seeing as I almost knocked the stool over. "No. I mean, you can't really be here. You can't think we're going to talk about this. That you're going to find some way to explain it that will make me forgive you". She had to understand this, she had to understand she had messed up to the point of no return. That there was no way she could fix this.

Well she must of a little, because her face dropped, and instantly formed a pleading look. "Josh, please-"

"No! Reed, no. God!" I cut her off. As if for a reminder, my mind replayed the unsavory Reed/Dash tent scene and I brought my hand to my head with a flinch. "I can't get the picture of you and Dash out of my mind. Do you have any idea what this is like for me?"

"Ya actually, I do," she snapped at me. Like she had any right to snap at me after all she'd put me through. "But I took you back, remember?"

Really, she was using what happened with Cheyenne to justify what she did with Dash? Cheyenne drugged me, Reed knows she drugged me, so why even bring that up?

"You took me back because it wasn't me in there with her. Because she drugged me. Because I didn't know what I was doing."

Reed looked at a lost, and I knew all that could be said was said. I wanted this conversation to be over now, and I wanted to some how put this behind me. If there was no way to fix it, I at least wanted it to be done with.

"Josh, I love you. I-"

"Don't," I barked at her. "Of all things, do not say that."

Like I needed a reminder of what could of been. Of how special what we had was, oh how she could've honestly been the one. But she had to go and ruin all of that.

I think my words sunk finally in, and it dawned on her that this was it. This was the end of our relationship. I could tell because Reed might as well have taken out a pen and written heartbroken on her forehead. I felt like someone had just died, and in a way that had happened. Because now Reed was dead to me, or at least the Reed I had known, and treasured, and above all, loved.

Now I just wanted her to leave me to my mourning.

"Please just go," I asked. "Just leave me alone."

"Fine," she said, sounding like she was going to burst into tears any second. "Fine, I'll go".

She turned around to leave, and I instantly felt better. So that's what it had come to. Me wanting to be as far away from Reed as possible, rather than as close as possible. Then she stopped. What could she possibly want now?

She turned around and looked like she wanted to ask something, but she was scared to. "Josh, I have to ask you one thing," she said her voice sounding hesitant and thick.

"What," I said glancing towards her. Please let it be something good. I don't know what could be, but please just let it be good. Or better yet, don't ask anything. Just tell me this is all a joke. A really sick, unfunny joke.

"You're not.. I mean.. you're not going to tell Noelle, are you? About me and Dash?" she asked nervously.

I could only stare at her. No. She didn't ask that. She couldn't have. I mean, why would I tell Noelle? That hadn't even cross my mind. But of course it crossed hers.

When are you going to learn, Josh? She doesn't care about you. She never has, and she's proven that time and time again. All she cares about is having Noelle's approval. Only an idiot like you wouldn't know that by now.

I laughed, and I'll admit, my voice scared me a little. Never has something sounded so forced, so full of anger, coming out of me. But I still shook my head, feeling my heart turning cold and heavy.

"No," I said looking at her, feeling every bit of hope I've clung to be replaced by bitterness and disgust. "No, I won't tell your precious Noelle. If that's what you really care about here, then don't worry. Your slutty little secret is safe with me."

Ouch. That sounded harsh, even to me. But it was like my sub-conscience had taken over. And it wanted Reed to suffer.

Well my words had gotten just that effect, because tears streaked Reed's face, and she looked like I just stabbed her repeatedly.

"Josh-" she croaked but yet I cut her off again.

"Good luck saving Billings," I said giving her a nasty look. Might as well insult Billings while I'm at it, right?

I then sat back down again, turning my back to her. I didn't want to see her reaction for that last one.

I heard her foot fall, and it sounded like she was running. Running away from me. And I could have sworn a heard some muffled sobs. A wave of guilt washed over me, and a closed my eyes with a shaky breathe. Not two seconds after the door shut, I heard voices outside the door.

"Trouble in paradise?" I heard a voice say. It was Ivy's. "Just think, if you hadn't crashed my party last night, none of this would have happened."

Panic shot through me as I thought of what happened yesterday at that party between me and Ivy. How she had kissed me, and I didn't even resist. Wait, she wasn't going to tell Reed, was she?

"Haven't you ever heard that it's inadvisable to have major relationship status conversations after chugging several fuzzy navels?" she asked derisively.

"How do you know what I was drinking?" Reed asked, accusative.

"Oh, I make a habit of keeping an eye on party crashers, just in case they cause trouble. Luckily, you only caused trouble for yourself," Ivy informed her.

She was watching Reed the whole night? That was kind of.. creepy. And wait, is that why she knew we broke up, and she went after me? All just to hurt Reed? And if she was watching her, did she know what she did with Dash, that she cheated on me?

"Well, I should let you get back to your little fund-raiser project. It's good to have a distraction at a trying time like this, Reed. Dr. Phil would be so proud," she said, her voice dripping in fake sympathy. Then she opened the door and came inside the room, slamming it in Reed's face.

My heart skipped about 20 beats with her being this near me, but I calmed down a little knowing Ivy hadn't told Reed about what happened between us. I know it was more than a little hypocritical of me, but I never wanted Reed to find out about that.

"Hey," she said standing right next to me and planting a kiss on my cheek. It took all my will power not to flinch away.

"Hi," I replied, my voice cracking embarrassingly. I cleared my voice, pretending I just had something in my throat. But the truth was having Ivy here brought on a whole mess of emotions I wasn't ready to deal with. I felt ashamed at myself for kissing her not an hour after I broke up with Reed, horrified that I'd let her use me to hurt Reed, and of course, I fear what I did led Ivy to believe I wanted to date her. Because I really don't, I think Reed is the only one I'll ever truly want, but I couldn't tell Ivy that without sounding extremely pathetic. Because Reed obviously didn't feel the same way about me, I wasn't the only one Reed ever truly wanted, and now Ivy knew that too.

"Sorry to stop by on such short notice, but I really wanted to see you," she said using a practiced, seductive tone.

"Glad you did," I lied.

"Did I ever tell you I had a really great time last night?" she asked, with a surprisingly genuine glint in her eyes.

"I did too," I said going for a smile, but I have a feeling I failed.

"Ya, apparently better than someone," she sang, tilting her head towards the door.

My heart panged at least a dozen times. Ivy was taking pleasure in this. I know she was. She must've seen Reed's face as she ran out of the room, seen her crying, and she was taking pleasure in that. But who was I to judge, I was the one who made her cry in the first place. I don't think I've ever made a girl cry before...

Ivy's eyes suddenly flickered behind me and her eyebrows knit. I followed her lead, and found her staring at that painting of Reed. Super, now everyone gets to see my pathetic artwork today.

"Is that Reed?" she asked, the distaste evident in her voice.

"Ya," I said, but didn't want to seem so pitiful so I added in, "I was thinking of burning it later."

Ivy laughed extremely loudly, her voice filling the whole room. I couldn't help wondering whether the laugh was for my benefit, or because she was hoping Reed would hear it. The same intense guilt rolled over me, but than I thought about how Reed asked me to keep her secret from Noelle. How could she do that to me? She cheated on me, and yet she's more concerned that Noelle will find out it was with her boyfriend, then the fact that she broke my heart. Do I really mean that little to her?

"So I was wondering, do you want to have lunch with me today?" Ivy asked suddenly.

The panic set in again. Have lunch with her. Where Reed could potentially see. Where others could see and I'd be known as the guy who went out with Ivy Slade the day after I broke up with Reed Brennan. If that was, in fact, the way Reed said things went down. Maybe she told everyone that she broke up with me.

"You don't owe anything to her," Ivy said, obviously noting my hesitation. I guess she was right. Who cares what people think, who cares if Reed sees. She brought this on herself.

"OK," I finally answered, my voice sounding hoarse. Reed doesn't care about me, so I don't care about her.

I hated the fact that that was becoming my new mantra.