Title: Tomoyo no himitsu (Tomoyo´s secret)

Rating: M

Genre: Mystery/Angst/Romance/Action/Drama/Humor

Dedicated to: The wonderful authors of ExT fics. You all got me inspired to make my own!

Summary: Tomoyo has a dark secret. ExT

Disclaimer: I do not own CCS, it is owned by clamp. I wouldn't have written a fanfic if I owned it. Some characters are made by me. Known characters are © Clamp.

Warning: This is a one time warning I hope you read before you diss me. Tomoyo is brutally different in this story. But who knows what might REALLY happen in the world of Card Captor Sakura.

Thinking

"Talking"


Fatally Lonely You´re in Highschool again… you´re nothing again Nirvana

Somebody. It doesn't matter, but somebody, please be my enemy…my heart aches a lot… please hit me hard, so that I can forget everything. Piercing lavender eyes looked up, scanning the people puddled up like waste. Every single one of them, are so weak for her. She felt her energy sink eventhough. Her cheeks were getting swollen. The cool wind of summer gently easing the pain away.

And like nothing happened she stood up. Slowly, walking away from the traces of fights. That is her life, now at least. She had changed so much, with noone to see. No single person in Tomoeda knows what Tomoyo Daidouji thinks, what she does… and what she is.

Many times, she had played with the thoughts of dying. Under the pits of hell she will perish, or maybe, descend to heaven, but with just one task in mind. Curse God for making her life miserable. How she hated him. Does God even exist?

She chuckled, maybe she´s cursing someone who isnt really there. But damn it. It has to be blamed on someone. She tasted the blood flowing over her mouth, spitting it out with disgust. Now thinking, what would her friends think of her, when they see her now? A smile played over her angelic face.

Can this eyes kill?

Yes.

But they wouldn't know.

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Under the lines:

It is nothing but a memory. Wanted to be forgotten, that is why, it is buried in the darkest side of your mind. But no matter what you do, you cannot throw it away.

"Be yourself again." 13-year-old Tomoyo whispered. "He is not you. And you are not him. Live your life for your own."

"I have lived half of my life as him. Though my appearance is yet young, I am old." He stated his eyes showing the same gentleness as ever.

She didn't answer for awhile. She just stared at him, they were sitting in their 6th grade classroom for a very long moment. Silence drifting over them. It didn't felt awkward. It was comforting even.

"Something is just not there, without his plans. But I think, I would soon be well, with just being Eriol Hiragizawa."

And then Tomoyo smiled at him, which he gladly returned. His soft smile, with the gentle eyes behind those glasses. He reached for her hand, bowing like a gentleman and then kissing it with such tenderness. And before she knew what had happened, his lips pressed over hers. It was a soft kiss, she didn't know though, the difference, it was her first afterall. But it didn't matter, because at that time her mind was blank. Positively blank.

…

He was the reincarnation of the powerful magician Clow Reed. Nothing but an interesting creature for Tomoyo.

She had been eager to look at him. To talk to him on the phone, to join him on his mischievious schemes on Sakura and Syaoran. He always brought a smile over her lips. A humorous gentleman, times that were spent with him were never boring.

After the realization of love dawned on her. He had long flown back to England and all she can say to him last, was: "Stay in touch."

Letters were soon written. Formal letters. Masking all her feelings and after her mother died she stopped writing him throughly. But letters always comes from him, letters that were kept untouched on the mansion´s office.

Past should be left were it is afterall. Untouched and forgotten.

End

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Chapter 1 : Part 1 : Snow White

17-year-old, Tomoyo Daidouji scribbled the english notes with ease. Her eyes glancing at the round school clock from time to time. She felt the adrenalin rush through her veins when she thought about her evening, or so to say, night activities.

It would be quite a show today.

When the bell rang, she stood up immediately. On the background of the schools childish student she heard someone calling her. She knew reluctantly it was Sakura. It was always Sakura.

"Tomoyo-chan, arent you coming to Chiharu´s party today?" She asked, a head taller Syaoran standing beside her.

"I don't think so. I would send her a gift, my father is picking me up today. Important business… Hug her for me."

With that words, she hurriedly disappeared.

Sakura only caught a glimpse of her bestfriend, entering the black limo, owned by her father Hiyashi Daidouji. It had been a few years ago, when Tomoyo changed. Her mother died, through a plane crash. Tomoyo´s father took her in. Taking over the toy business and everything what a father should provide a daughter. But that was when Tomoyo started drifting away from them. It was like a wall that started to build between both. They were best friends, so firstly, Sakura didn't mind. She understood her friend´s loneliness, and she wanted to give her much time she wanted. But it never was the same now.

Tomoyo was of course, the ever smiling, ever beautiful, ever perfect, ever loving person she has been… at school. But what she did on her leisure was only, the "toy company" or so she told her, every afternoon.

A/N: So whatcha think? I hope you like the plot. Much love!