I didn't really look over the last chapter too much, so if there are some mistakes, I'm sorry. Once again, I am very busy, but I will NEVER leave this story until it is finished.
In the last chapter where Kae talks about saving/destroying the world and stuff, she is just messing with Dib's mind. She could actually care less.
This chapter is done almost entirely from Dib's point of view.
RIZQOTD (Random Invader Zim Quote of the Day): "By the way, it's not called 'Parent Teacher Night', it's called Zim doom, parent, Zim doom, Zimmy doom night. Heheheh! Watch out for that puppy." ~Dib in Zim's thought bubble (Parent Teacher Night)
I woke up in the morning at 7:00 sharp, like I always do. After I wake up, I go downstairs for some breakfast. Sometimes Gaz is there, but usually not. She and I don't get along so well anymore. Not that we ever really did, but now it's worse. I have some Count Cocofang's with milk. Then I go back upstairs and get dressed. Then I walk to Skool. And that is where my life stops being normal.
My name is Dib Membrane, son of the famous Prof. Membrane. I am a paranormal expert and plan to be a paranormal investigator when I graduate collage. A boy in my class is an alien who wants to take over the world. Trust me on this. I've seen him without his horrible disguise. I have been saving the planet from him since elementary skool. Only recently has another alien showed up. This one's a girl, I think. I know she goes to the Skool, too, but I can't seem to find her. But I will, for I am the sole defender of Earth, our only hope for survival!
The girl's name is Kae. She says that she is really good at taking over worlds. So I have to be better. Yesterday she did another one of her mind tricks on me. I really need to stop listening to her.
Anyway, I've reached Hi Skool now. There is Zim, the alien. He makes me so mad! Why can't anyone ever see him for who he is? Why does no one find it weird and, wait for it, ALIEN that he is green, has no ears or nose, and is all around strange? What is wrong with them?
Here comes Katelyn. She transferred to my skool from Washington. She is really pretty and very popular. She's my tutor. I really like her.
I walk up to the Skool building and head inside. I like to get to the room early. It gives me time to analyze it to make sure Zim didn't tamper with anything. Once he mutated the hamster. It grew larger than a building, ate almost everything, and destroyed everything it didn't eat. I am not going to let something like that happen again.
The room looks clean. I can't find any obvious signs of alien tampering. The bell rings. Everyone pores in. The day at skool is uneventful. I am shoved into my locker once and got two wedgies. The second one got caught by a teacher. Torque got a detention. I'm lucky the teacher wasn't Ms Bitters. If it was, I would have gotten the detention and Torque would have gotten an A.
After skool is when my life gets really interesting.
Once a week I am tutored by Katelyn. Today is one of those days. But I still have a few hours before she comes. So I sneak over to Zim's base to spy on him. I have yet to find out where Kae's base is. I just know it is connected to Zim's. The two of them are partners or something.
Anywho, today I brought my Dad's cloaking jacket. I'm hoping it will shield me enough to get into the base. Last time I tried this, I spoke and got caught. Oops. This time will be different.
I carefully step up to my enemy's house. The second I step onto the property, all of the robot gnomes turn and face me. I guess Kae really did upgrade them. Now they can see in infrared, which is much harder to cloak. The gnomes beegin shooting at me. I run. Fast.
Ok, I need another way in. So I go around back for a change. Thinking back, I wonder why I never did this before. There's no back door, but I am able to slide in a window Gir left open.
Now I'm in the kitchen. No is there. The house seems pretty quiet. I look around the room. I know of two different entrances to the real underground base. The trash can and the toilet. I have to be unpredictable. Zim will expect me to be grossed out by the toilet and take the trash can. So I'll take the toilet.
Easier said than done. When you spend your entire life doing your duty in a toilet, you find that shiny white bowl to be repulsive. Even though it looks clean, it takes a lot of courage to step inside. And even more to flush.
The one good thing is that there is no water in the bowel. After all, water burns Irkens like acid. So that made the journey a little less revolting.
This is when my day is completely ruined.
One little bit of advice for everyone with a large head: Don't flush yourself down a small toilet. Your head will get stuck.
Once I realized I was stuck, I thrashed around a little, trying to get loose. All I managed to do was turn off my cloaking jacket. You know, there really isn't anything much worse than having your head get stuck in your arch-enemy's toilet. Especially if that enemy is an alien plotting to destroy the planet. And want's you dead.
As you can imagine, it was pretty bad when Zim came in the door and saw me sticking out of his base's entrance. And even worse when he couldn't get me out. In the end, Ris (the demon-robot that looks a little like Gir but with red eyes and actually concentrates and does what Zim and Kae say) was called in and brutally yanked me out. It hurt. And then the robot threw me out the window, where I was attacked by the lawn gnomes. I can tell you this: I am never using that entrance again.
However, I had not given up. I will get into Zim's base. I do basically the same thing as before, only this time I take the trash can. At least I didn't get stuck. But I was still in an unfamiliar part of Zim's base. I decided to try and find Kae's base. If I knew where her house was, I could figure out who she was. Then it would be so much easier to stop her.
As I wander around, I don't see Zim, but I do meet up with Gir.
"Hi, Big-Head!" The robot shouts.
"Shhh, Gir." I said to him. "Say, do you know where Kae's base is?"
"Yup!" The oblivious SIR unit shouts. "It's over that ways!" He pointed to a hallway I hadn't been down yet.
"Thank's, Gir. Oh, and don't tell anybody I was here."
"Okey-dokey!"He shouted, and then ran off. I smiled. Gir could see him through his cloaking jacket, but could always be relied on for help. If you knew how to say it.
I walked down the corridor Gir had pointed out. As I thought about it, the robot could have been lying, or just wrong. But it was the best lead I had. The hall took me to a section of the base that was obviously different. It had a completely different design, but still had that Irken feel to it. Kae's base? Probably.
I could hear movement in another room. I quietly snuck in, hoping no other robots were there. There weren't any I could see. However, there was an Irken. It had a feminine quality to it, with eyelashes and curly antennae, so I had always assumed it a girl. Like I assumed Tak was a girl. The alien who was in the room was named Kae. So this is her base.
I stood behind her a little ways back. Hopefully I could get some good information out of this. Maybe some of her species' weaknesses, or what her evil plan is, or-
She turned around and looked strait at me.
"That has got to be the worst excuse of a cloaking device I have ever seen." She said. I'm frozen in place. She sighs.
"Gir!" She called.
Gir? She was calling for Gir? Why in the world would she be-
"You'll see." Kae said, a slight smile on her face. So I was thinking out loud again. I really have to stop doing that.
"Yes, you do." Kae said. She had turned back to her work. From my position, I couldn't see what she was doing.
Gir walked into the room. "Yes?" He was holding something that was probably at one point some kind of food.
"Gir, Dib is holding a taco in his head hostage. If you can get it out, you can eat it." Kae said.
As you can imagine, I, knowing how much Gir likes tacos, ran. I had a hungry taco-crazed insane robot behind me that wanted to rip open my head. So I ran. Screaming. I didn't know where any exits were in Kae's base, so I had to abandon all hope of finding out who she was and run back to Zim's. He saw me. And laughed.
So I am running from a crazy robot screaming my head off while my enemies watch and laugh. I've done more embarrassing things in my lifetime. Even running out onto the street with Zim's neighbor watching could have been worse. I looked behind me and saw that Gir was now in his Dog suit. When did he get into that? I was finally able to ditch him at McMeaties. That robot can get distracted by just about any food. Apparently including the one he thought was in my head. Oh well.
By now, it was getting late I had to go back to my house. Katelyn would be coming over soon. When I got home, Gaz is sitting on the couch playing her video game. She looks up at me.
"Tonight's when Kate comes over, right?" she asks.
"Yea." I say.
"Later." Gaz said. She then stomps out the door. I'm left there just staring. Every time Katelyn comes over, she leaves. I think it has to do with the first time she came over to tutor me when I forgot Gaz had ordered a pizza. I still have scars from that, and Gaz never really forgave me. Oh well.
The doorbell rings. I run over to the door and open it. Katelyn stands there in all her glory, holding a few books.
"Hi." She says cheerfully.
"Hi." I say back. We go into the living room and get set up at the table.
"Today we're going to work on Math." Katelyn said, opening a book.
[Dib then goes through his entire session with Katelyn. Because I'm sure you don't want to learn about geometry, I will spare you from having to read it. ~Crazygirl313, Author]
After my tutor leaves, I am left alone in the house. With nothing else to do, I go upstairs and sit down at my computer.
"Now is a perfect time for me to test the camera I hid in Zim's base while I was there and no one was looking." I look at the reader. "Not even you." Creepy, huh?
I turn on my computer and connect to my camera. The computer establishes a link, and I see the inside of Zim's base.
"Yes! It works!" I shout.
Zim and Kae walk onto the screen from the right. They stare at something off-screen.
"Do you really think this will work?" Zim asked.
"We're about to find out." Kae says. She holds up a controller and pushes a button. Both Irkens' eyes go wide.
"Is it supposed to do that?" Zim asked.
"I don't think so, but it sure is cool." Kae answered. There is a bubbling, guggling noise from off-camera. The Irkens gasp.
Kae pulls out a pad of paper and begins to hastily write things down. "Oh, man. Experiment 162 is having strange affects."
"They have a test subject!" I shouted. "No!"
"Zim, where did you put the fire extinguisher?" Kae asked, sounding a little nervous.
"Over there." Zim said, pointing to something to the left, also off-screen. "Why?"
"Because anything that is generating that much heat is going to catch on fire." Kae said. And then there was a roar and fire came spewing out of something and onto the screen. Kae ran off and came back with something that vaguely resembled a fire extinguisher. She sprayed it onto the flames that instantly died.
"Whoa." Zim said. "Experiment 162 is defiantly dead."
"Wanna try #56?" Kae asked.
"Oh yea. Go get it."
Kae ran off and after a few moments came back. "It's all set." Both looked off-screen again.
"You monsters!" I exclaimed. "What are you doing to those people?"
"You do it this time." Kae said, handing Zim the controller.
"Ok." He pushed a button. There was a massive explosion that blew the Irkens back against a wall.
"I did not see that coming." Kae said, stumbling back up.
"No, but that was fun!" Zim shouted. "Lets do 17."
"Fine with me."
As you can imagine, I was completely freaking out by now.
"By the way, how's Nick doing?" Kae asked.
"Oh, just fine." Zim answered. "He's right over there." Zim pointed to something I couldn't see.
There was a flash of intense light.
"Wow," Kae said. "Nice work, Zim."
"Thank you."
"Ok, back to 17." The two turned to their specimen.
"Why don't you do it?"
"You do it."
"No you do it."
"You're acting like a smeet."
"So are you."
"Fine I'll do it."
"No, I will. Give to ZIM!"
"Here you go." Kae handed Zim the controller.
"Ready?"
"Yep." Zim pushed the button. Both prepared for impact. They stayed that way for a few seconds.
"Hmmm." Kae mused. "Nothing happened." She scribbled something down on her paper.
"Let's see what happens when I do this." Kae pushed a button. Nothing happened.
"This is boring!" Zim shouted.
"I agree."
"What now?"
"Wanna try the new thing we've been working on?" Kae asked.
"You don't mean the-"
Kae had an evil glint in her large, orange eyes. "Yup."
"This should be interesting."
Kae pushed a button. Nothing visible happened, but the Irkens' eyes widened.
"Oooooh." They said in unison, right before a quick gasp. Then there was a bright light, similar to the one with Nick. Silence for a few moments.
"That was awesome." Kae said, scribbling on her paper.
"Yea." Zim thought for a second. "Now how about we try experiment 102."
Kae shrugged. "Sure. Why not?"
Both aliens walked off-screen.
I looked around my room and wondered who they were experimenting on. And why there were no screams. I shuttered at the thoughts. But movement on my computer screen made me turn back to it.
"Ok, all set up." Kae said. She looked at her specimen, which I couldn't see.
Zim pushed a button. My screen went black.
"NOOOOOOOOO!" I shouted to the ceiling. I couldn't help those people, unless...
I looked at my screen again. The record drives had worked! I nearly yelped with joy.
Kae stood shakily up.
"Whoa."
Zim stood up next. He surveyed the room. "I'll get the computer to clean this up." He walked away.
Kae looked back at the mess that used to be her and Zim's latest experiments.
"Note to self, no more experimenting with the humans' device called a 'microwave.'"
She was about to follow Zim, when she spotted something jutting out of the wall. She walked up to it.
"A camera? What is a camera doing in here?" She muttered. Then she sighed. "Dib."
"What did he do this time?" Zim asked, walking up behind her.
"He put a hidden camera in out base." She pointed to it.
"That little worm!"
"Wait, I know what we can do." She took out some Irken device and hooked it up to the camera. "This will track the transmission back to Dib's computer. I'm going to leave him a little... message."
I was busy. I finally had Zim and Kae on tape without their disguises experimenting on people! I could hardly contain myself. That's when it all went downhill fast.
My computer screen went entirely black. Then a little white box popped up that said: File name Zim Camera successfully deleted.
"What? No!" All that proof, gone! And even worse, the Irkens looked like they had put some kind of virus into my computer. I couldn't make it work.
"It's like the Waffles all over again!" I shouted.
How do you know about that, Earth Stink? were the white letters that rolled across my screen.
"How are you doing that? How do you know what I'm saying?" I demanded.
Your computer has a video chat camera attached to it. I am accessing it. My much more advanced computer can track the way your lips move and tell what words you are saying. Now answer my question.
"I gave Gir a camera one day and he put it in your base and I was able to watch you eat waffles and be attacked by a squid demon and everything. But then the cyborgs destroyed my recordings."
Ummm... I'm Kae, and I have no idea what you are talking about. But it sounds funny. I'll go ask Zim.
When the words disappeared, my computer exploded. So did everything else I had hooked up to it. I moaned. Then I crawled back into bed.
Just another day in the life of Dib.
For anyone who is confused, Dib thought that Zim and Kae were experimenting on humans, but really they were experimenting on microwave ovens. I liked the fact that I could fit several explosions in. And some stuff I just had floating around my head like Dib getting stuck in Zim's toilet.
I will try to update more often, but with skool starting up and everything, I won't be able to get to the computer much. But I'll try.
Oh, and I'm not going to put up the next chapter until I get at some more reviews.
Long live IZ!