Disclaimer: I don't own Ranma, though I'd figure that that's a given. I also don't own Sailor moon, though if you thought I did you have mental problems.
Author's Notes: I've always been one to respond to reviewer comments, so I'll take this time to do so. Skip ahead if you don't care.
Glazedlookineyes101: I'm not sure I remember the comment about only being held by women. Maybe it's just a coincidence that all the decedents of the moon kingdom were female? Besides, I've already shifted the genders of everyone. Changing that small detail for continuity purposes would be very easy. Yes Ryoga is mercury. The main reason I chose Ryoga is because Ryoga closely resembles mercury and would benefit the most from the Mercury Computer. Besides, he can be smart when he needs to be.
Kuno-Baby: Answer: No. and No. Ryoga will still turn into a pig and no one will be given a girl curse by becoming Senshi.
Everyone that made Pluto suggestions: Pluto never died. How could she get reincarnated?
Everyone that made Tuxedo Kamen suggestions: Nabiki has promise, but whoever becomes Tuxedo Kamen (If I make a Tuxedo Kamen) would become paired with Ranma. You know, past lives and what have you. Not sure if I'm cruel enough to make Ranma hook up with Nabiki. Same goes for Kodachi, a male character, or pretty much anyone. As I said, I'm still debating if I should even have a Tuxedo Kamen. I never much cared for him. He also seems expendable.
Gate: Quit reading my mind, it makes me paranoid. Just for that I'm gonna mix up the order and throw in some filler chapters.
Howard Russell: First of all, Ryoga's curse is not affected. I very well may end up writing a scene in which a little pig transforms into sailor mercury. As for the comments about Tuxedo Mask, you make an interesting argument. I see there are a lot more options for the tux than I originally thought. I think you just convinced me to have him in the story.
And now, on with the fic.
The streets of Nerima had a tendency to be quiet at night. The chaos that affected the district during the day seemed to taper off once night fell, much to the happiness of the population. Night was seen as a welcome normality for the inhabitance of Nerima. So much so in fact, that many people that lived here actually went out more at night so that they wouldn't have to deal with the insanity that plagued the area during the day. This particular night was no different, as many people went about their business on the dimly lit streets; certain people went on the move. These people also took a special liking to the night. There were many reasons for this, most of which many would consider fairly obvious. For one thing, there were so many people going about their business at night that there were a surprising number of houses and businesses left unattended. And since the darkness of night provided a natural cover for the profession of these particular individuals, it made the night all the more enjoyable for them. And finally, there weren't as many super powered martial artists running around after nightfall. Thus, it wasn't very likely that these people would be stopped.
Well, that used to be true, anyway.
"You ready, Ryoga?" Ranma whispered over his shoulder from his perch on the edge of the roof. He was looking down at the two individuals he and the lost boy had been tailing for the past couple of blocks. It seems like they were finally preparing to make their move.
"Do we really have to transform to do this?" Ryoga asked as he also walked over to the edge of the roof. He noticed the two suspiciously dressed men were paying an unusual amount of attention to the window of the building across the street. It was pretty likely that they would be in the building within a few moments. From the looks of it, it was a jewelry store.
"Yes you two have to transform. You're warriors of love and justice! You can't protect the people without becoming the sailor Senshi." These words obviously came from Luna, causing grumbles from Ranma and Ryoga alike. To be perfectly honest, Ranma had tried to ditch her at the house so that he and Ryoga could make one of these runs without having to transform for once. However, the squirrel seemed to have radar for them. She caught up with the two before they even left the block.
"Alright, fine. Let's get this over with quickly. Moon Prism Power, Make Up!" Ranma said, clasping his hands in front of his chest as he announced his transformation. Ryoga sighed and held his fingers against his head, preparing himself mentally for the horror that was about to befall him. His henshin stick appeared in his hand from seemingly nowhere just as Ryoga let off a sigh.
"Mercury Power Make up." Ryoga said the words at almost a monotone. He really didn't want to have to do this. Within seconds the lost boy was now a blue haired girl in an incredibly girly outfit. With a sigh Ryoga pushed her skirt underneath herself as she sat down on the edge of the building, waiting for the rest of Ranma's transformation to complete.
"It really is annoying how long his transformation lasts." Ryoga muttered, cupping her face in her hand and leaning against her arm in boredom. Luna sat beside her on the ledge to wait for the unnecessarily long transformation sequence to complete itself, briefly wondering why it took as long as it did.
"Ah yes, I almost forgot. I have something for you, Mercury." Luna announced before doing a back flip. A small rectangular object manifested in the air and landed in Ryoga's hands just as Luna landed on the ledge again. Ryoga looked at the small object in brief curiosity, noticing a latch and opening it to reveal a small keyboard and computer screen.
"What is this thing?" She asked, pressing a few buttons as the screen came to life. This thing had a little bit of everything, it seemed. There was a variety of data pouring into the device from all over the area, giving read outs on the transformation taking place nearby to the heat signatures of the crooks still trying to break into the other building. It was even giving off readings on Ryoga's own ki signature, as well as Ranma's and Luna's.
"It's the Mercury Computer. Just think of it as a miniature supercomputer. It's really useful for analyzing and calculating things." Luna explained. Ryoga kept hitting buttons just as Ranma's transformation ended, causing the readings to change on the screen in front of Ryoga's face.
"Hey, what's that thing?" Ranma asked as she turned around, looking at the object in Ryoga's hands.
"Some computer Luna gave me. Oh hey, this thing has Tetris." The Tetris music suddenly started to come out of the small computer as Ryoga began to play. Luna sighed a bit at this before turning towards Ranma, who was pulling out a spare pair of clothes.
"Hey, what the heck are you doing?" Ryoga asked, closing the computer and stashing it away who knows where.
"I'm putting on some spare clothes. I ain't gonna get caught walking around in this stupid fuku." Ranma was pulling on a pair of jeans as she said this and had just started to tuck her skirt into them when Ryoga punched her across the face and pulled the jeans off.
"Hey, what the heck are you doing?" Ranma shouted, hitting the ground on her back. Ryoga tossed the jeans aside and did the same with the other clothing Ranma had brought. She was going to be sure that she was in-between the red head and normal attire.
"If I have to run around in this stupid outfit, so do you." Ryoga dusted off her hands and grabbed Ranma by the bow on the front of her outfit, forcing both of them to jump off the building and land on the street below.
"You could bring spare clothes too, ya know." Ranma grumbled. The two were already running across the street towards the two burglars, both of which had already climbed into the jewelry shop.
"I don't own any spare clothes." Ryoga responded just as the two got to the door. Ranma peaked in through the window to see the two guys emptying the jewels into some sacks they brought with them. All in all, they seem like pretty generic burglars.
"Oh. So that's why you wear the same clothes everyday." Ranma said quietly to Ryoga. She was trying to open the door will little success. After all, that last thing she wanted to do was climb through a window in the ridiculous fuku she was wearing.
"Yeah, that is why. What's your excuse?" Ryoga asked, just before reaching the limit of her patience and promptly kicked the door in. The metal warped and snapped as the glass shattered, both doors clattering to the floor loudly as the alarms went off and the lights came on. From the way the burglars jumped, it seemed like they nearly had a heart attack from the noise.
"Who the heck're you?" One of the two nameless men asked. He was wearing a ski mask over his face like a typical crook would while his partner had some pantyhose over his head. It was almost as if the two had watched a couple of bad movies and based their wardrobes off of the robbers in them.
"I'm Sailor Moon. She's Mercury. We're here to hurt you." Ranma said, taking on a simple fighting stance as Ryoga just sighed in embarrassment. The two crooks laughed evilly, neither apparently noticing that the alarm had been set off and that the cops were on their way.
"Hurt us? I don't think that's gonna happen doll face. You're gonna be the one that's hurtin'." The one with the ski mask said, pulling a knife out of his pocket and brandishing it in Ranma's direction. Ranma didn't really notice. She was just thinking of how many ways she could break this guy for the doll face comment.
"Heh heh. Yeah, you's the ones that'll be hurtin'. But don' worry. I hear it only hurts at first." The one with the pantyhose said with a stupid laugh. From the sound of him he had an IQ in the double digits. And judging from his lewd comment and the way he was looking at Ryoga, his IQ was about to drop several points.
"I got dibs on the dumb one." Ryoga said, an intense glare in her eyes as she cracked her knuckles in anticipation.
Bishonen Senshi Sailor Moon
Chapter 2
The Fiery Senshi
Some say that the smell of breakfast in the Tendo home could wake the dead. Under normal circumstances, this is a reference to the cooking of one Kasumi Tendo. She was rather well known to be a fabulous cook throughout the Nerima district. She had even won a few cooking contests with her food, though most people never noticed. Before Ranma's arrival, it was fairly often that a guest or two would stop by to sample her food, but now they mostly avoided the dojo out of fear of getting caught in the crossfire of some battle. Under normal circumstances, they would say the smell of breakfast could wake the dead because of how good it was. In this circumstance, the smell would have woken the dead so that they could find a grave further away so as to not be disturbed by it.
"I'm getting a bad feeling." A chill ran down Luna's spine as she awoke that day. Her entire body spasmed as a rancid stench climbed the stairs and made its way to Luna's delicate nose, being the second signal to the doom she knew was coming. And finally, she could sense a great disturbance in the house. Ever since Ranma had given her that sandwich of death, her survival instinct kicked in wherever the circumstances for its creation were repeated. There was no mistaking it, Akane had cooked breakfast.
"Wake up! We need to flee! Get up and run, while we still have the chance!" Luna had sunk her claws into the fabric of Ranma's shirt and was shaking him furiously in a desperate attempt to raise the boy from his slumber. Luna knew she should have ran for it and saved herself. But she also knew that Ranma would never forgive her if she left him to his fate of toxic food. It also meant the boy would find some way of getting revenge, and that was never pleasant.
"Wake up already!" Luna screamed, slapping Ranma across the face with her furry little paws. The nearby panda stirred a bit in its sleep, rolling over to face the two. Moments later its nose flared a bit before its eyes shot open with a look of absolute horror in its eyes. Luna could tell that the panda had learned to trust its instincts as well. It was pretty obvious the large furry creature was also able to sense impending doom like any other animal.
'Every man for himself!' A sign that suddenly appeared in the panda's hand proclaimed. Shortly afterward the creature leapt out the window and ran at full sprint away from the Tendo home. Genma knew better than to stick around. He could always visit the zoo for food. They knew how to treat a panda right.
"Wake up!" Luna was getting desperate. From the smell of it the food was getting close to completion, and knowing the Akane girl, Ranma would be the first one that had to sample it. And knowing Ranma, Luna would be the one that ended up eating it. Even if she tried to prevent it, the boy had methods of sneaking food into her mouth before she could stop him. Finally, Luna figured to hell with it and sunk her teeth into Ranma's neck. This woke the boy up rather quickly. It also caused him to jump halfway across the room and scream out in pain. Luckily, Luna had managed to maneuver her girth over Ranma's mouth, thus muffling most of Ranma's scream.
"Ranma, are you awake? Breakfast is almost ready!" Unfortunately it wasn't enough. It seemed Akane had already heard the commotion and now knew Ranma was still in the home. The pigtailed boy lost all color in his face and turned toward Luna for confirmation. When the small cat nodded her head, He nearly fainted.
"She doesn't actually know we're still here. If we leave now, maybe she'll assume she heard things." Luna whispered, getting to her perch on Ranma's head as the boy slowly and quietly made his way towards the window.
"Luna! I've got some food for you, kitty cat. Come get your breakfast." If it were possible for a cat to turn white with fear, Luna probably would have. In fact, she was fairly certain those two sentences gave her a few gray hairs as she dug her claws into Ranma's scalp.
"Now's not the time for subtlety! Get while the getting's good!" Ranma didn't need to be told twice. He made a dash for the window and leapt through it like his life depended on it. He actually soared all the way past the Tendo's barrier wall before he touched down on the ground. He briefly came to the realization that he had left his shoes and book bag behind, but he didn't care. He was already running to school and he wasn't about to turn around for anything.
"Where is Ryoga? Shouldn't he be around here?" Luna asked, briefly wondering where the other Sailor Senshi was. Ranma had slowed down a bit and was now moving at a more sedate pace, making it easier for her to actually engage in conversation.
"That goof? He's probably in Okinawa somewhere. He's got the worst sense of direction." Ranma answered. For a squirrel, Luna sure did ask a lot of questions. Why couldn't she be more like normal squirrels, Silent and not trying to get him to wear a fuku?
"Oh, well we should see him soon then." Luna's response kinda caught Ranma by surprise. Why would she assume Ryoga would find his way back?
"Why do you say that?" Ranma could feel from the way she was shifting her weight on his head that she was standing up and coughing into her paw again. He imagined it looked rather humorous what with her being on his head and all, though he couldn't see it.
"The mercury computer has one of the most advanced mapping systems on this planet. Now matter how bad he is, he could find his way anywhere with it." Luna responded. It was true. Only a complete moron could get lost with the Mercury Computer directing them on where to go.
Meanwhile...In a forest somewhere…
"Yes, level 63! I'll beat that high score yet!"
Ryoga had no idea where he was going; all he knew was that he had Tetris.
"Somehow I doubt that Luna." Ranma responded, seeing that he was heading into the school and thus decided to cut their conversation short.
Ranma walked into his homeroom class and was surprised to see a Television sitting on a rack near the front of the room. It wasn't often that they watched anything. Hell, the last movie he remembered being played was when the teacher never showed and Hiroshi played some Chinese movie. This time, however, Ranma could clearly see Miss Hinako sitting on her desk and watching the screen. What Ranma saw on the screen nearly caused his legs to give out.
"...have been stopping crime all over the city over that last couple of weeks. These vigilantes have been described as a pair of teenaged girls in unusual uniforms that call themselves Sailor Moon and Sailor mercury. Local law enforcement officials are unsure of how to react to these new arrivals to Nerima, but popular opinion suggests that they will fall under the protection of the Local Combatants Act." It was the news. They were watching the news. And for some reason beyond Ranma's entire capability of understanding, he and Ryoga were on the news.
"It seems that we've just received a security tape showing these two girls foiling an attempt to burglarize a local jewelry store." Suddenly a black and white image came onto the screen and Ranma groaned a bit as he easily recognized himself and Ryoga. The Saotome boy suddenly felt very exposed. Everyone present knew about his girl form and they were now watching it dressed in a skimpy outfit beating the hell out of a man with a ski mask. It was so obviously him. How could they not recognize the obvious?
"Wow, look at them!"
"Damn, they're hot."
"What are they wearing?"
"I can't believe they'd go out into public like that. I'd be so embarrassed."
"You think they go to this school?"
"No way, I'd know if any girls that attractive went here."
"What's she doing to that guy?"
"Ah man! Arms are not supposed to bend that way!"
"Short minutes later, authorities arrived on the scene to find the two perpetrators unconscious in the middle of the shop. Reports say that neither man was seriously injured, but they were roughed up quite a bit." The reporter continued on, but to be honest Ranma stopped paying attention. He didn't know why they were watching a news report about this in class, and he didn't really want to know. It was embarrassing enough as it was.
"Ranma!" Ranma turned his head towards the source of the voice, just in time to get struck in between the eyes by a flying shoe. Mere seconds later, a second shoe hit him in the chest, bouncing off and landing on the floor near the first projectile. It didn't take Ranma long to realize they were his shoes. He also noticed his bare feet while he was looking at the ground. With practiced ease, he slipped the shoes onto his feet before looking towards his attacker.
"Left home in a bit of a hurry today, Ranma?" Akane asked, her eye twitching as she glared at her fiancé. She was none too happy when she discovered the hasty retreat he had made that morning. The jerk had skipped out on her delicious breakfast so fast he forgot his shoes. No matter though. Unbeknownst to Ranma, Akane had packed the breakfast in its entirety as Ranma's lunch.
Deep within the cavernous hideout of the dark kingdom, the youma stood at attention in front of their mighty queen, awaiting her command. The queen in question still sat upon her throne and looked into her crystal ball, almost as if she actually expected its featureless surface to change for some reason.
"Jadeite, before me." Boomerang head commanded as she continued to wave her hands in front of her blank crystal. Considering she never stopped her hand waving, one would probably assume she had Parkinson's disease and simply couldn't stop her bizarre fidgeting. However, she also never blinked, so maybe she was just weird. As her voice echoed across the cavern, a blue fireball appeared in front of her throne, shortly turning into a blonde man that bowed before her.
"Yes, my lady?" He asked, wondering why he had been summoned.
"Have you found the Ginzuishou yet?" She asked, hands still waving, eyes unblinking.
"No, not yet."
"You have failed me many times, Jadeite. Those troublesome Sailor Senshi have stopped you at every turn." Queen beryl said, looking harshly at Jadeite. Then again, she looked harshly at everything. When you have yellow eyes, it's hard not to look harshly. Jadeite winced a bit at the jab, annoyed by his queen's lack of patience. It was true that the two girls in question had stopped all 4 of his youma. Even the minor humans he hypnotized into obeying him were stopped by those two. It seemed like they were always one step behind him.
"It is true, my lady. However, I have a new plan. My new youma has been instructed to collect samples from the Senshi when they arrive to stop it. With those samples, we can scan every girl in the city to find a match." Jadeite boasted, feeling proud of himself.
"No." Beryl's word caught Jadeite by surprise, cutting his self gloating short.
"No? What is wrong with my plan, my lady?" Jadeite questioned, looking into the harsh eyes of his mistress for an answer.
"Your plan will fail if you only scan women." Beryl said with eyes closed. This surprised many Youma, as she hadn't blinked in almost 39 hours. "Scan the men as well. Only then will you find results."
Ranma groaned a groan that would make any zombie green with envy, if they weren't already green with decomposition. This was mainly because he had recently had the unfortunate luck to be force fed lunch by one Akane Tendo. The sickening crime against cuisine that Akane had prepared that morning seemed to have only become even more horrid by the time lunch had rolled around, thus Ranma's stomach was now rebelling against his body for this latest injustice performed on it. The Liver and smaller intestine were trying to quell the uprising, but it seemed the stomach refused to be silenced. At this rate, it would secede and declare itself sovereign.
"Need...edible...food..." Ranma grumbled, slowly but surely making his way down the street with the aide of a stick to lean on. Luna was lying on his shoulder in a similar state of illness, having been subjected to what Akane considered cat food. Unfortunately for Luna, what Akane considered cat food was the food she messed up on and couldn't feed Ranma. Thus, the cat was arguably in far worse condition than Ranma was, since she had been subjected to a degree of inedibility unmatched by most anything else on the planet, including some types of poison.
"Kill me now." The cat mumbled. Ranma wasn't sure, but he thought she was having trouble breathing. Akane better not have killed his squirrel.
"Don't worry Luna. We'll be there soon. We're almost there." The click of his stick striking the asphalt was the only sound that was heard for awhile after that. That is, until Ranma walked through the door. Then the angry hiss of a cat hitting the ground was heard, followed by the sound of two people impacting the ground while one of them giggles like a school girl.
"Nihao Airen!" Shampoo said in her usual loving voice, hugging onto Ranma like he was her pillow. Ranma simply writhed on the floor in general shock, unable to properly fend off Shampoo's advances while poisoned.
"Jeez shampoo, can't you lay off once in awhile?" Ranma grunted, getting to his feet with Shampoo still firmly attached to his torso.
"Can you get me some food? I need something to take my mind off of Akane's cooking." Eager to please her Airen, Shampoo quickly detached herself from him and quickly headed into the kitchen. Ranma himself quickly found a seat at a table and waited for his meal. There was barely anyone there. In fact, the only other customer was a lone elderly man eating ramen on the other side of the restaurant. It was still fairly early. The lunch rush had come and gone and both schools and jobs had yet to end, thus there was hardly ever customers at the time of the day.
"Hey, where's mousse and the old ghoul? Are you the only one here?" Ranma asked, vaguely acknowledging that Luna had gotten up at some point and was now lying in his lap. He idly scratched her behind the ears and petted her a bit, waiting for Shampoo's reply.
"Mousse went back to China. He's been gone for months. Great Grandmother left last week to get him." Shampoo said, her accent still fairly thick even though her grammar had improved. She still struggled in some ways, but her speech was now mostly intelligible. "Father went to get more supplies. He should be back before the next rush." Ranma was a bit surprised to hear that mousse had been gone for over a month. He didn't think he was that unobservant. Wait a second; did shampoo just mention her father!
"Wait, your father? Your father's here?" Ranma shouted in shock, leaning back in the booth a bit to look at Shampoo. For her part, shampoo looked at Ranma with a stupid look on her face, almost as if Ranma had just asked her how long her hair's been purple.
"Father's been here long time. He's the cook. Been here since we opened." Shampoo said, and then went back to cooking. Ranma just blinked a few times and stared at the table. Damn, he really was unobservant. Hell, he had worked here for a few months in the past. Come to think of it, he vaguely remembered a man in dark glasses and a long goatee cooking the ramen when he was trying to steal the phoenix pill. Shampoo soon finished with the Ramen and brought the bowls out to the table Ranma was sitting at, setting two bowls in front of him and taking a third and sitting across from him. She knew he'd eat more than one bowl, so the two would probably suffice.
"Kitchen destroyer tries to poison you again?" Shampoo asked, starting on her meal as Ranma grabbed his chopsticks. He was eating a little slower than usual, but this was mainly because he wanted to savor the taste to remove all memory of his earlier lunch.
"Eh, she just tries too hard. If she would pay more attention it wouldn't turn to poison all the time." Ranma responded, speeding up a bit on his eating pace. Shampoo took a few more bites herself when she suddenly noticed a black cat jump onto the table and eat out of Ranma's second bowl, a little unnerved by its presence.
"Airen...A cat eating your food." Ranma practically hit the rafters when he heard Shampoo's words, much to the humor of shampoo. Curiously enough though, he calmed almost immediately upon seeing the creature. In fact, he wasn't scared at all.
"Jeez Shampoo! Don't do that." Ranma said, calming down and starting to eat again. He briefly pet the creature in question before picking up his utensils and digging in again. Shampoo wasn't entirely sure what to say in response. She never really expected this type of situation to happen.
"You not afraid?" Shampoo asked, pointing at Luna. Ranma followed the direction of Shampoo's finger and looked at Luna, studying the squirrel for a few seconds.
"Why would I be? She's just a squirrel." That response was even more confusing. The animal sitting there eating Ranma's Ramen was clearly a cat. Shampoo had no doubts in her mind that the animal in question was a cat. Hell, she herself was a cat half the time. She knew a cat when she saw one. But then again, if her husband thought that cat was a squirrel...
"Hey Ranma, what is Shampoo?" Ranma nearly choked on some of his Ramen. For one thing, shampoo had called him Ranma, which wasn't a good sign. For another, he had no idea what she had just asked.
"What?" Ranma asked, stupidly. Shampoo seemed a bit annoyed. She hated repeating herself, it was one of the reasons she had been working on improving her Japanese so much.
"What is my cursed form?" This time it was near perfect Japanese and Ranma understood her meaning perfectly. However, he wasn't entirely sure why she was asking it. Did she forget or something?
"You're a...a..." Ranma said, suddenly having difficulty with the word.
"A what?" Shampoo asked.
"A...um..."
"Squirrel."
"Eh?" Ranma muttered, looking at Shampoo funny. She was smiling, and something in his mind was starting to click.
"Yeah, I knew that. You turn into a squirrel." Shampoo seemed happy with that response and beamed Ranma a smile before returning to her meal. Ranma couldn't think of anything else to say, thus plunging an awkward silence into the room. A few minutes later Ranma finished off his bowl, being followed shortly by both Shampoo and Luna. Shortly after that Shampoo collected the bowls and took them back towards the kitchen, leaving Ranma in silence with his squirrel. In fact, silence continued to reign for quite a bit, and Ranma was becoming desperate for a way out of the awkward situation. Finally it came in the form of a certain lost boy walking by the window of the Nekohaten, seemingly in deep thought.
"Oi, Ryoga!" Ranma called out, quickly evacuating his booth and heading outside. An odd musical rhythm caught his attention as he exited the restaurant, hearing an unusual song emitting from the mercury computer in Ryoga's hand.
"Eh?" Ryoga muttered, turning his head. Almost the very instant his eyes moved away from the computer screen, another sound played, causing Ryoga to go rigid and his eye to begin twitching.
"Ranma…" Ryoga growled, "I was so close to beating my record!" A punch emphasized the anger Ryoga was feeling, and the nonchalant way his opponent dodged only amplified that anger.
"DIE, RANMA!" Soon a flurry of blows were raining in the pigtailed youth's general direction, earning a frantic evasive maneuver on his part. Ranma dodged, weave, bent and twisted in every imaginable direction to avoid Ryoga's attacks, constantly relocating Luna as he did so to keep her out of harms way.
"Hey, watching it. Cut that out! I've got a squirrel here, and I'm not afraid to use it! Damn it Ryoga. That's it..." Ranma leapt back from a particularly powerful looking Ax kick, only to watch as Ryoga followed him through the air with a jump kick he intended to break Ranma in half with. Before either even touched the ground, Ranma grabbed Luna by the back of her neck and hurled her directly into Ryoga's face, causing a screech of surprise from both parties and a brief mauling.
"Damn it, Ranma!" Both Ryoga and Luna said this in unison. If someone bothered to look down that street, they'd have been able to see the interesting site of a teenager and a cat taking turns stomping on a crumbled body in the street. Now most people would find this interesting mainly because it is a rare site to see a cat standing upright, let alone standing upright and violently slamming one of its back paws into the stomach of a pigtailed teen in the middle of the street. This mistreatment would have continued if it weren't for the annoying beeping noises coming from Ryoga's mercury computer, which distracted the attackers long enough for Ranma to return to his feet and gain his distance.
"What's it doing?" Ryoga asked of no one in particular, looking down at the object as he quickly opened it and saw the screen. It was currently showing a map of Nerima with a blinking dot on it, which was overlaid with various statistics and read outs.
"The mercury computer is picking up on some weird energy readings." Luna said from her position on Ryoga's shoulder. From the looks of it, it was a few blocks away.
"So where is it, Kyoto?" Ryoga asked, changing the view of the map a little so that two blinking dots were shown, one green and one red.
"No, Ryoga. You see, this green dot is the computer, and the red dot is the energy reading." Luna explained while pointing out the dots.
"Oh. So it's closer to Hokkaido then." Luna face-faulted at this, much to Ryoga's confusion.
Ramua was slightly annoyed by the assignment Master Jadeite had given her. From the sound of it, it was a suicide mission. She was supposed to just run around attacking things until those Sailor Senshi girls showed and then take samples from them before she got killed. There was obviously no mention of escape in there, so her bad mood was a given.
"I can't believe Master Jadeite made me fodder for this Sailor Senshi. He doesn't even expect me to be able to beat them! Well, I'll show him. I'll take those samples for him, and I'll kill them in the process! Queen Beryl will be most pleased." Ramua couldn't help but cackle at the thought as she walked out of the alley she had appeared in. It was a moderately busy section of town, but for the most part it was fairly empty at the moment. There were only about 10 people in the area. Unfortunately for Ramua, of those ten people 2 just happened to be Nerima martial artists.
"Konatsu, hurry up! We need to get back to the restaurant before the after-school rush." Ukyo and Konatsu were on their way back to the restaurant from a nearby grocer, both laden with various bags of cooking supplies and food. They had gone a little out of their way for some of the food they needed and now had to hurry back. It wouldn't be long before schools were over and students would pour into Ucchan's looking for something to eat.
"Give up your life energy to our Master, humans!" Ukyo and Konatsu turned their attention to the inhuman voice, spotting a weird female monster in a red dress pulling energy out of the nearby people. In an instant the groceries were on the ground, abandoned when the monster turned its attention to the chef and the ninja.
"Try to steal my energy, will you?" Ukyo muttered, pulling out her battle spatula and leaping at the youma with the intent to severely injure. A loud clang echoed down the street when spatula met skull, hurling the Youma into a cement wall.
"Nice shot, Ukyo-sama!" Konatsu said, cheering on his employer. He had leapt away from Ukyo the moment she had taken out her Spatula, knowing better than to be near her when it came out. Thus he was now standing a few yards away, Kunai at the ready.
"You miserable little human, how dare you harm me!" Ramua was not happy. She was supposed to be killing the Senshi, but instead these two humans showed up and dared to defy her.
"Die!" For a petite looking woman, Ramua seemed unnaturally strong. Watching a thin woman in a red dress lift a bus over her head was surprising to say the least. Sure she was slightly monstrous, but that didn't change the absurdity of the situation. Ukyo wasn't even sure if Ryoga could pull that off, and he was the strongest person she knew. Ukyo was too shocked to move, thus when the bus was chucked at her a few seconds later, she was certainly in a bit of a pickle.
"Ukyo-sama, look out!" Konatsu shouted, running as fast as he could towards Ukyo. Konatsu's words seemed to have snapped her out of it, but she still wasn't moving. The bus crashed into the ground on its side and skid across the asphalt in Ukyo's direction, sending sparks and chunks of rocks flying as it went. When the massive hunk of automotive death reached her, Ukyo simply swung her Spatula into it, apparently in a vain attempt at stopping its advance. This, of course, failed. Seconds later, the bus passed through the area Ukyo had been standing and struck the wall behind her, crushing itself against the concrete and brick. Ukyo was nowhere to be seen.
"Ukyo!" Konatsu screamed, falling to his knees in the street. He didn't make it to her in time, and now...
"Foolish human! That's the fate she deserves for crossing me." Ramua couldn't help by cackle at successfully flattening a human, thus she burst into maniacal laughter. However, her heart skipped a couple beats when the other one turned towards her. The strange girl in the ninja outfit was looking at her with an expression of pure, unadulterated rage. Her body was honestly glowing with an intense fury, the likes of which the Youma had never seen. And worst of all, the look in the ninja's eyes was the thing of nightmares. The anger expressed in her eyes was practically tangible. If Ramua wasn't mistaken, she could have sworn the ninja girl's pupils had turned to slits.
Needless to say, Konatsu was pissed.
"Hurry up, you two! The city is in danger!" Luna kept running up the street, stopping every couple of seconds to turn around and yell at the two teens that were lazily walking after her. Ranma and Ryoga were taking their sweet time following Luna towards the supposed 'danger.' Frankly, neither one really bought into the idea that Ryoga's computer could predict monster attacks.
BOOOOM!
That is, of course, until a loud crashing sound came from the exact direction the Youma was supposed to be. And the cloud of dust that rose into the sky a ways down the road only furthered the idea that there was in fact something there.
"Let's go!" Ranma and Ryoga burst off at top speed, grabbing Luna as they ran and leaping to the rooftops to take a shortcut straight to the disturbance. Nerima started to blur around them as the leapt from roof to roof as quickly as they good, arriving on the scene in practically no time at all. The site that greeted them, though, was not what they were expecting.
"Konatsu?" From the looks of it, the Kunoichi had done some serious damage. There was a bus partially embedded in a nearby wall, but that was only the beginning. Giant craters marred the street and nearby buildings. Trenches were dug into every surface you could imagine. Kunai, Shuriken and various other sharp implements of death were flying all over the place and were already impaled into everything nearby. And finally, the Kunoichi herself was currently preoccupied with beating the ever living snot out of a weird Youma in a highly torn red dress.
"You getting the feeling we aren't needed here?" Ranma asked, getting a nod in response from Ryoga as the two just stood and watched the massacre going on below them. Something wasn't quite right though. Despite the amount of damage Konatsu had obviously done, the Youma didn't seem to be too injured. On the other hand, Konatsu himself was breathing heavily, and was also bleeding from a few wounds on his body.
"Annoying human, be gone!" A powerful punch from the Youma impacted Konatsu directly in the abdomen, hurling the ninja a good 10 feet and into the underside of the bus, denting the drive shaft. Konatsu collapsed to the ground in a lump, obviously too tired to keep fighting.
"Quick, transform! You have to help her!" Luna shouted, leaping off the roof and onto a fire escape.
"Her?" Ranma asked as Ryoga just sighed.
"Let's get this over with already." Ryoga answered. With a quick nod, Ranma grabbed a hold of his pendent from under his shirt and Ryoga pulled a pen from his sleeve, both ready to transform.
"Moon prism power, make up!"
"Mercury power, make up." Two flashes of light and two transformation sequences later, a blue haired Sailor Senshi jumped from the roof top and landed in the street, followed by a redhead about 40 seconds later.
"So you've finally arrived, Sailor Senshi." Ramua muttered, readying herself for the fight. She needed to take samples from them first, and then kill them. So what would be the best way to get samples? Shouldn't she have been told a specific way of doing this beforehand?
'No matter, I'll just snatch some of their hair.' Ramua thought to herself, looking at the two girls before her. Shouldn't be too hard. In an instant the fight began as both Ranma and Ryoga rushed the Youma, throwing punches and kicks into the monster as it barely managed to put up a fight. Ramua was just utterly pummeled, unable to move fast enough to stop the attacks from the two martial artists. Of course, Ranma and Ryoga had forgotten once again that you just can't beat a Youma down. It takes a lot more than some punches and kicks to bring it down, even those delivered by martial artists of their caliber. After about a minute of non stop pummeling, both Senshi were beginning to feel a bit tired from the over exertion, while Ramua simply looked annoyed.
"Enough!" Ramua's arms briefly glowed as an explosion of energy fired out of her body, hurling Ranma and Ryoga away and into a brick wall and a dumpster respectively. Throughout that exchange, the youma had indeed been able to snag hairs from both the Senshi's heads. Now she just needed to kill the two.
"You know, we really aught to stop trying that on these monsters. It never seems to work." Ranma muttered, getting up after impacting the wall.
"Agreed." Ryoga groaned as she too pried herself out of the side of the dumpster. The two stood their ground once again, ready to attack the Youma.
"Ready Ranma?"
"Ready."
"Bubble Spray!" Ryoga set off her magic attack, though one could hardly call it an attack since all it did is cover the area in mist. The mist was still useful though. It prevented the Youma from seeing them, even though they could still see it.
"Moon Tiara, Action!" Ranma grabbed her tiara, feeling it turn into a discus in her hand before she hurled it towards the Youma. Ramua was a little confused and disoriented after getting blinded by a mist, but she could still hear the disc flying at her. A quick duck prevented the thing from taking her head off, and when it turned around and came for another pass, she snatched it out of the sky.
"Hey, you ain't supposed to do that!" Ranma shouted, watching the disc turn back into a tiara in the monster's hand. The Youma tossed it aside seconds later, letting it fall to the ground with a metallic clank.
"Great, now what are we supposed to do?" Ranma muttered in annoyance, watching the youma through the mist. Magic didn't work, pummeling didn't work. What else could they try?
"That thing is mine!" the two Senshi turned their heads to see Konatsu back on his feet, breathing a little heavily but no less angry than he had been before. There was something a bit different about him though. His forehead seemed to be glowing.
"That mark! You're a Sailor Senshi!" This comment from the talking cat stopped everyone present in their tracks.
"Eh?" Konatsu responded with all the intelligence of a fish. It wasn't everyday that a talking cat told you that you were a Sailor Senshi, after all.
"Take this pen and say Mars power make up!" Luna said mid flip, handing Konatsu a pen similar to Ryoga's. "You are Sailor Mars, a Senshi specialized in fire!"
"F...Fire, you say?" Konatsu asked, a weird look in his eyes as he held the pen.
"Mars Power, Make up!" Konatsu screamed, holding the pen over his head. In an instant his body began to glow as he rose into the sky, streams of fire pouring from the tip of the pen and spiraling around his body. His ninja clothing disappeared and his already feminine body reformed into a truly female figure, just as the flaming streams blinked out, leaving the sailor fuku behind. Red heels clicked against the ground as Konatsu's transformation completed, leaving the new girl to admire the new outfit with a bit of surprise. The entire transformation took about 20 seconds.
'At last, one of the Senshi is actually a girl!' Luna thought, happy that Mars wasn't a boy. Little did she know that Konatsu was a cross dresser, but more on that later.
'The cat said something about fire...' Konatsu thought, looking through the mist at her target. Words suddenly surfaced in her mind as she thought about a way to defeat her opponent. This time, the youma was not going to be getting back up.
"Fire…" Konatsu's body began to glow with red energy as she honestly seemed to burst into flames. Streams of fire began to collect around her forearms as she brought them around her body, clasping them in from of her face.
"...SOUL!" the streams collected into a ball in Konatsu's palms just as the red Senshi pushed her hands forward, launching an orb of fiery death directly towards the Youma. The mist dissipated along the path of the fireball, undone by its intense heat. Before Ramua was even able to see it coming, she was immersed in its flames.
"AAAAAAARRRGGGGGGGGG!" The Youma screamed, running around in a panic as her body burned. The mist was totally gone now as the monster finally fell to the floor, turning to dust in the fire.
"I did it." Konatsu muttered, falling to her knees. She suddenly remembered what had caused her to fly off the handle in the first place.
"Impressive!" All three Senshi turned at the sound of the voice, seeing a strange figure standing atop a nearby building.
"Who the hell are you?" Ranma shouted up at him, only receiving a hearty chuckle in response.
"No one of consequence." He said simply, sounding like he was about to start laughing. Ranma could hear the smile in his voice, and it was pissing her off.
"What do you think you are doing anyway, spying on our fight?" Ranma asked, still annoyed.
"I came to assist you, but when the mist cleared I saw I was not needed." This time the tone of his voice changed a little, being slightly more serious though still containing a hefty helping of mirth. "The battle is over now, so I guess this is farewell." With that, the strange figure began to leave, leaping off the roof top to another one close by.
"Hold up! I ain't done with you yet!" Ranma shouted and leapt after him. However, her forward movement was halted by a projectile thrown her way. Ranma was forced to catch it and land or risk getting hit.
"A rose?" Ranma asked, annoyed. The weirdo was already gone by that point. He was really moving.
"Who was that guy?" Ranma turned her head suddenly as she heard a grinding sound of metal being moved. Ryoga and Konatsu were pulling on the bus, prying it away from the wall.
"What are you two doing?" Ranma asked as he approached the other two, seeing the bus steadily moving away from the wall. It was finally no longer crushed up against it as Ranma peaked behind it, seeing nothing but smashed rock.
"She's gone! I could have sworn Ukyo-sama got hit." Konatsu was happy to see that Ukyo wasn't a crushed corpse on the wall, but now she was simply confused.
"Hey, can we change back now? I'm tired of being in this stupid outfit." Ryoga muttered before concentrating and de-transforming.
"I don't know, I like it. Not my usual style, but it's kind of cute." Konatsu said, admiring the outfit a bit.
"Konatsu, you're scaring me." Ranma muttered, also changing back into normal clothing. Both she and Ryoga were still girls, but a little hot water would change that.
"Come on Konatsu, change back. Just concentrate on it." Ranma said, earning a nod from Konatsu as she concentrated and shifted back into her Kunoichi outfit. It was at this point that she realized something was off. Her clothing didn't really fit right, especially in the chest region. Konatsu looked down at her chest and finally came to the realization that something was severely different about her anatomy. She hadn't noticed during the fight since she was used to moving around with breasts. But now that she had both her real breasts and the fake ones in her clothes, she came to the realization.
"I'm a girl, aren't I?"
A few minutes later and the three girls were on their way to the Tendo's, hoping to get a bath and change back. Konatsu had taken a few moments to correct her clothing and was now walking down the street with a smile on her face.
"So you and Ryoga turn into magical girls and save the city?" Konatsu asked, looking at her two female companions. They had just gotten done explaining the whole thing to her and she wanted to make sure she had the facts right.
"Yeah, but it's not exactly by choice. If those dumb monsters would just die when we punched them we wouldn't even bother transforming." Ryoga added, happy that the Dojo was now in sight.
"Why not? Transforming is the best part!" Konatsu responded, causing a grunt from Ryoga just as the three entered the main house. The only one home at that moment was Kasumi, so the three were able to head to the bathroom without much incident.
"Maybe for you, Mr. Pyromaniac. But incase you haven't noticed, all I get to do is throw mist around." Ryoga said, taking off her shirt and pants and throwing them into the nearby bin before jumping into the furo, turning into a man again. Ranma soon followed suit and was also male.
"The fire is cool, but I was actually referring to the outfit." Konatsu responded as she disrobed, looking down at her female body for a few seconds before joining the others in the bath. The three sat there in silence for a few moments, none present knowing what to say.
"Uh..." Ryoga started, his face turning a little red as he felt some blood rush to his nose. Konatsu was absolutely beaming with happiness, much to the horror of Ryoga and Ranma.
"You're still a girl!" Ranma got out, pointing at Konatsu accusingly as she merely nodded.
"I know, isn't it great?" She asked, relaxing into the furo a little.
"Damn it, don't be happy about it! You're a guy!" Ranma shouted, utterly incapable of understanding why Konatsu would be happy about this.
"I was only a guy on the outside, and now I'm not anymore. Can't you tell we were destined to be girls?" Konatsu asked, causing Ryoga to briefly snap out of it and Ranma to get a weird look on his face.
"Whoa, what do you mean by 'we?'" The pigtailed boy asked.
"We're magical girls! And with me being raised a girl, you getting that curse and Ryoga's blatant homosexuality, it's obvious we were meant to be girls." Konatsu said as if she was stating the obvious, not noticing Ryoga's eye twitching or the battle aura he was developing.
To Be Continued.
(Author's Notes)
Yay, new chapter. Go me.
Next time: Jadeite puts his samples of Moon and Mercury to good use. Will he discover Ranma and Ryoga's secret? Find out in the next Bishonen Senshi Sailor Moon.
Ryo-Wolf