Harry read the list for the fifteenth time. He was trying to get past his emotional response to it and instead understand it. He wanted to rationalise it, to know when it was to him she was referring. He didn't want her to regret making the wrong decisions, he didn't want her to be afraid of life. Yet no matter how detached he managed to be, it kept coming down to that last lonely line.
I hope he won't give up on me.
Never Ruth.
"Easter Chenkovsky does not exist." Said Ruth to the team.
"What?"
"She's not real."
"But, I told her about my fear of…"
They all turned to Dimitri.
He stopped and looked away.
"About your what?" asked Alec, sensing there was something embarrassing lurking ready to be mercilessly exploited.
"Nothing," said Dimitri defensively, "told her nothing."
"Did she take any of your lists?" Ruth asked, hoping it wasn't just her.
They looked at each other shaking their heads, "No."
"You didn't leave them, forget them?"
Again, "No."
"Why, Ruth?" asked Beth, "Did she take yours?"
"She gave it back to me." She didn't tell them she had Harry's list.
"I don't get it." Said Dimitri.
"We need to check the grid and the server." Tariq said and got up.
"When was she in here, actually on the Grid?" Beth, too was on the move.
"Last Wednesday when she came to the briefing room," said Alec.
"And today when she said goodbye to me" added Ruth. They could think of no other time when they could have been compromised.
"We need to tell Harry, ring him Ruth," commanded Dimitri.
She sighed and reached for the phone.
"Harry."
"Ruth."
"Are you nearby?"
"Yes. Do you want to come and get some fresh air, Ruth?"
"No."
"Sorry, I just thought…"
"No, Harry, Easter Chenkovsky is a fake. She doesn't exist."
"What? How did she get through all the checks?"
"We're looking now and we're making sure the Grid hasn't been compromised."
"I'm on my way, Ruth." He was already halfway back to Thames House.
"Anything?"
"Nothing, Harry. We can't find a damn thing on her." Alec answered.
"Did anyone tell her anything remotely sensitive?" Harry made sure he avoided looking at Ruth and she him. The rest all looked at Dimitri.
"Dimitri?" questioned Harry.
"It was personal,"
"Could it have compromised us?"
"No."
"Only him, if we ever found out what it was." Alec laughed.
Harry glared at him, "I think we've all probably shared more than we should with that bloody woman."
Ruth worried.
The rest wondered what Harry had shared.
"Now find her." He said and strode back to his office.
A few minutes later, Ruth followed him and slid the door open.
"I believe I have something of yours," she said and offered the folded piece of paper that was Harry's list.
He looked at her, his face giving little away as he took it and opened it reading the three solitary lines at it's centre.
He turned back to her.
"Easter gave it to me, I thought by mistake, but now I don't know."
"Thank you," was all he said.
Did he have her list, she wondered for the umpteenth time, surely now would have been the moment for him to say something, but nothing.
With nothing more forthcoming she turned to the door.
She wanted to tell him that the simplicity of his list would not leave her. That it was etched in her mind. That she felt a responsibility for his hopes that frightened her. That she was his only focus made her want to flee and embrace him all at the same time. She reverted to type and chose to flee.