A/N: Hey guys, another update- whoo~

Ok, just want to make some things clear (thanks to my three reviewers ^^); now the timeline transiton things will be more clear, with - 's, and Ty is not Jay's boyfriend. Ty is Jay's goofy childhood friend who went through basic with her and Jacob and became a mechanic. They hadnt had any contact since graduation from boot camp so...yeah. that's pretty much it. Jay's mom is the kind of person who wants her kids to have the perfect boy/girl friend, get married, have kids, and BLAH with everything else. Uh... i think that's it... unless if i'm forgetting something i'm sorry (i have a bad memory sometimes) anyways, enjoy!

EDIT: ok, sorry. Just came back from my grandparents' house and noticed that the -'s dont really work. i'll do... *'s then... blah. if you guys have a better idea, share it; it wont be ignored

ANOTHER EDIT: ok, the *'s dont work either. WTF /*pissed*/

AHJKHAJKSHJAHSJKAHJSKH

Throwing my arms over the table, I audibly sighed. "UUUGH!" ok, pretty much yelled.

"Ow, trying to burst my eardrum or something?" A pinkie went into his ear as he winced.

"But it's so boooooriiiing!" I complained, looking up at Kyle with a sad face. Despite picking up my schedule earlier this week, it hadn't helped with my boredom. Really, all that's on the cruddy piece of paper was train, eat, and sleep. Not. Helpful.

A few days have passed since that night in Jacob's room. They've been long, agonizing days; since I've done everything moderately time consuming on the first two days here. We haven't talked about what had happened on the last ship or anything before that, instead we've been doing our separate things… mostly training, but we still hang out whenever we see each other. Anyways, the rest of the days have been bad. One thing I cannot stand is boredom, and sadly, I get bored easily.

"Then do something about it." He sipped from a juice box, purposely making that annoying slurping noise. I didn't notice that part, my mind getting distracted again. Ah, nothing beats juice in a box. I thought with a pleased grin.

A hand obscured my vision, causing me to glare up at the person. "If you want something to do, there's always work to be done."

"Matt, I don't want to do paper work! The time I spend here is supposed to be a mini vacation at my workplace. I defiantly don't wanna work!"

"Then quit complaining and relax!" He argued, brushing his short brown hair from his eyes.

"But that's boring too!"

He sighed, then went to different matters, leaving me to sulk, half laid out on the table.

When a thunk was heard a few moments later, I opened an eye, and immediately perked up. "Score!" Snatching the offered spoon, I took a large chunk out of the new container. Shoving it into my mouth with no dignity, I sighed after swallowing. "How did you get this? I thought they had these things on lock down!"

"I know somebody," Jacob said with a shrug.

"Well whoever that somebody is, I want to marry them." I commented before taking another shovel of mint chocolate chip ice cream into my mouth.

"Sorry, but I don't swing that way." Sonia smirked, sitting down in a chair while taking a smaller spoonful herself.

I grinned. "Hey, you never know, I might just turn ya." I teased with a wink.

She rolled her eyes and took another scoop. Jacob sat there with his spoon in his mouth, shaking his head with a smile.

Kyle abruptly grabbed a scoop of the chilling dairy product and shoving it into his mouth, ignoring the spoon sitting an inch away from his other hand.

"Ew, gross! Kyle, we don't even know where that's been!" Sonia cried.

"Neither do I!" He laughed, licking his fingers, while Sonia gave him a disgusted look.

I took a bigger scoop and ate it.

"Don't eat it too fast Jay."

"Thanks, mom, I'll keep that in mind." Taking a big bite just to spite him.

"Fine, but don't come crying to-" A whine interrupted his sentence and he laughed. My face was pale and I was too busy clutching my head in my hands to hit him for jinxing me.

"Told ya!" He laughed, taking a decent sized spoonful of the delicacy.

I glared at him before mentally pleading for my head to unfreeze.

A loud, irritating, voice sounded, each word sent pound after pound of pain into my skull.

"Jacob Sulley, report to the-"

"SHUT UP ALREADY!" I screamed, not even listening to the words.

"conference room immediately."

"UGGGH!"

Jacob rolled his eyes and socked me in the arm. "Shut up, the announcement wasn't even for you."

"There was an announcement?" I blinked, stupidly. He groaned before getting up and leaving the mess hall. Shrugging, I took another spoonful but winced when my brain-freeze had a buddy come over.

I couldn't breathe.

Please, no- not again!

Pain vibrated through my very core, rattling my bones as voices were heard everywhere; always muffled, always out of reach. My mouth opened to let out a wail, but nothing came out. My chest tightened, threatening to burst. The darkness had me in its cold grip, loving how I fought it fruitlessly. Wave after wave of agony and pain racked my body, making my jaw hurt from how far its stretching. It felt like hours before I gave up, and was held in death's hands helplessly.

This is what it's like to die. This is how I had died.

I shot upright in the bed, sweat beading on my forehead. I shivered and rubbed at my goosebump covered arms, desperately trying to shake off the cold that covered my being like a cruel blanket. Mere moments later, I was slouched in my sitting position, arms being held as I hung my head.

Again and again I have this dream. Every night since that day. The day I died, and the day I learned how to live. And each dream brings its stress, how helpless I am in death's cold grip; each time I end up fighting, each time I end up losing. I hit the bed with closed fits, biting my trembling lip.

A chocked sob escaped my lips as tears threatened to spill.

Why, why, why? I already know what it's like to die, why should I be haunted of it in my dreams as well as in my mind and memories? Whatever god is up there; likes watching me suffer.

Tears won the silent battle and streamed down my face, soaking the blanket clenched in my hands. My chest really did feel like bursting, but this time it was because of a different internal struggle. I didn't dare open my mouth, fearing that the scream behind my lips would come out before I could stop it.

I wanted to scream, so badly. A person could only take so much without having to scream. I had handled about a month of this, and I was ready to lose my sanity.

Whoever came up with dying was "peaceful and painless", I thought grimly, deserves a good kick in the nuts.

A/N: Ugh, short chapter; barely a 1,000 words. I'm so sorry you guys, but i've gone through all i had and i need some time to think of what can happen. If anyone has any ideas for me, even crazy ones might help, please share them!

If my writer's block doesnt go away by Friday, you wont be getting another update for at least 10 days. I'm going to my grandparents' house and spending time with my 1st and 2nd cousin. Maybe then it'll give me some inspiration... eh, or maybe not. *shrug*