Song for this chapter: A place where you belong by Bullet for my valentine
Alex's POV

You Left Me

Why oh why? Why Clive? Why did you leave me Clive? Why?

It was bad enough that you left me. But you actually intended me to find you. You wanted me to be the first to know. You wanted me to see my one true love hung there, lifeless, dead. Dead. That's what you are. Dead. My love, gone forever. How could you be so selfish? I was finding it hard to but I would never have dreamt of leaving you to face it all alone. You were what kept me going, day in day out knowing I would see your beautiful smile again. Now you only survive in my heart. Now I'm missing you and wishing I were dead too. Obviously I'll have to join you. But of course they expected that. Owen hasn't let me out of his sight since I found you three days ago. Ever since I found there lifeless in our special place, so many happy times there now ruined forever. He says he's making sure I'm okay. Translation: Suicide watch. They think I'm going to join you. They know that I'm so lost, so miserable without you that all I'll want to do is be with you. They say you committed suicide. I agree; but why, darling, why?

Clive I feel so betrayed. You gave me no warning. There was no goodbye. Just one day you were there, the next you were gone. After all we've been through you could leave me just like that. Maybe you just couldn't take it anymore. I don't understand why you didn't tell me my love. I could've helped you. But you kept it bottled up. If I'd have known maybe you would still be here, properly, and not just a memory, not just a ghost of a smile, a light imagined touch. I found comfort in the hugging and kissing. What was your comfort?

Your funeral was absolutely awful for me. I cried all the way through. I barely stop crying these days. All those people in black clothes, who didn't know you, were talking about you as if they did. If they really knew you they would've known something was wrong. I knew something was wrong. But you never told me what it was. I wish you did, because then you might still be here, it's a big might though, one that I won't be holding onto for much longer. I didn't have enough time to find out either. You didn't give me enough time Clive. You could've talked to me, you could've at least waited until I found out what was wrong and then tried to help you; if you did it that way I wouldn't be having such a hard job understanding why you left me.

I hope heaven is nice for you darling. There's no way that you went anywhere else. I guess you deserve to be an angel now. Unless you're still with me and I just can't see you. But, no, that can't be. If you were here I would feel you. I would feel whole. I would feel like me, I would be complete. But I don't. I'm not even half a person without you Clive; I'm a quarter, an eighth. Oh how I wish I was with you my love. Or you were with me.

Be there when I come for you Clive; and I will because there's no way I'm staying here. Not with all their pitying looks and attempts to bring me back to life even though I'm not entirely dead. Yet. I need you to lead me to where you belong; because I belong where you are. And you obviously thought that we belong in the place you left me for. Just to feel your soul close to mine again. I'd do anything.

But for now I must stay here because Owen is watching me like a hawk. But it will be soon my love, soon. Soon we will be together again. Soon I will be rid of this damn world just like you are. Soon, Clive, soon. We will be together again and we'll be free and happy. Still I will never forget – you left me.

The end.
Drop a line if you like I would love some ConCrit.
Scarlet
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PS: There is a sequel to this called After Alex
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