All right guys, big chapter right here. I hope you guys like it, and don't get too mad for Spencer's choices in this... Enjoy. :)

Chapter Eight: This Is It

Ashley left a little while later without saying a word to me.

Aiden came by and the rest of the day I spent with him and Glen. I was kind of wound up the whole day, thinking about when and where Ashley was going to tell me that she- well, you know.

I called Chelsea the next morning.

"You totally love her still!"

"Chels…"

"Okay, sorry, I'm sorry. But, Spence, you really do love her don't you?"

I took a deep breath. "Yes, I-I-I love her…"

"All right so what are you-"

"But, I love Sam too."

"You can't love two people at the same time, Spencer."

"How do you know?"

"Because I… I just know, okay? You can't."

I rolled my eyes. "You don't know that. I mean, I've obviously never gotten over Ashley. I thought I did, but I guess not. And then there's Sam, who I did fall in love with, and moved in with, and promised I would never hurt, and… Oh my God…" I can't believe I was doing this Sam. She didn't deserve this, not at all.

"Spencer, calm down. Listen to me, okay? You can't help who you love. This isn't your fault. Who knew that the second you saw Ashley again, all your feelings would come rushing back? You certaintly didn't, and neither did Sam. Yes, she'll be hurt, but you can't blame yourself."

"I can't hurt her, Chelsea," I sighed. We talked for a little bit, then Glen called me asking to meet him and Aiden at the movies with his car. I went of course. Another good distraction.

When I got back later that night, Ashley called me.

"Hey,"

"Um, hi. What's up?"

"I was wondering if you could come to my place. I want to talk to you about some stuff, without interuptions." She sounded very calm. It was scaring me.

"Uhh… sure. What time?"

"Now. If that's good for you."

I didn't say anything. Was I ready for this?

"Please, Spencer."

I closed my eyes. "Okay, yeah. I'll take Glen's car. He's with Aiden somewhere."

"Great. See you in a bit."

I got directions from Ashley via text. She lived with Kyla in a loft about ten minutes from Glen's house.

When I got up to her door I took a deep breath, but it opened by itself. Oh yeah, she did just buzz me up.

She smiled, but it was small and short lived. "Hey, come on in." She moved aside and let me walk through.

She was wearing sweats, a tank top, and no make up. She had never looked more beautiful.

She asked me if I wanted anything to eat or drink, and I politely declined. There was no way I could stomach anything right now.

We sat down on the couch and she started talking immedietly.

"There is something that I've been trying to tell you, but I've gotten interupted each time. And now I am going to tell you, and I hope that you can understand where I'm coming from with this. For the past five years, Spencer, I've been trying to forget you. I've been trying to forget your eyes, and your smile, and your voice. I've been trying to forget what it felt like to kiss you, and how soft your hands are. But, it's pretty hard to forget things that you love. It's pretty hard to forget someone that you're in love with. For five years, I've tried to think of anything but you. But… you're the only thing I have thought of.

"When Glen told me you were coming to visit, and that you were staying with him, I didn't know what to do with myself. And when you got here, I tried to act normal, and I tried to just avoid you, but it didn't last long obviously. When I saw you in the kitchen at Glen's party, I told myself that I would just ask you how've you been, and that's it. It wasn't it though," She shook her head. "Then I thought, well, maybe if I apologize to you and make things right, we could at least be friends. But I've realized I can never just be your friend," Stray tears were now making their way down her cheeks, and my own face mirrored hers. "I love you, Spencer. I fell in love with you in high school, and I never stopped loving you."

Silence enveloped the room. The emotion in her words filled the air. I stared into her eyes, because I couldn't look at anything else.

I licked my lips, then whispered the words I've known all along, but chose not to accept, "I still love you too, Ash."

Her breathing turned ragged. In and out, in and out. "You do?"

I nodded.

I was looking at her eyes, but the next thing I saw was black, because my eyes had fallen shut when her lips lightly touched mine.

With her hands on my face, we pulled apart and she whispered, "I've wanted to do that for such a long time."

I couldn't speak. I couldn't think. I couldn't do anything.

So when she took my hand and pulled me out of the living room, and to her bedroom, I didn't object.

We didn't go farther than kissing.

We laid on her bed, and she repeatedly ran her hands all over my body. From my head, down my arms, and to my stomach. It was getting pretty difficult to breathe, and I had to keep reminding myself to do so.

Her hands were soft, just as I remembered, but I still felt the tiny callouses she had on her fingers from playing the guitar. I remembered them also. I had missed them.

Occasionaly, Ashley sighed, and whispered that she loved me. Aside from that, neither of us talked. We didn't have to. We had an uspoken agreement that no words were needed at this moment, and that we would figure everything out in the next day. No matter how hard it would be.

Tonight though? Tonight was about us, and only us.

I fell asleep in her arms, and I had never had felt more content than I did in that moment.

I dreamt that I was standing in front of two doors. One had an A on it, the other had an S.

The A door was cracked, and very old.

The S door was a pretty blue color, and brand new.

For some reason, I was drawn toward the cracked door, but just as I was about to open it, I woke up.

Lifting my head from Ashley's chest, I looked at her. She was sleeping, so peacefully, and I couldn't help but wonder what she was dreaming about, if she was dreaming at all.

I put my head back where it was, and dozed off again.

My dream was the same, but I did nothing except stare at the two doors, not moving.

I woke up the next morning at around eleven to an empty bed and a note.

Spencer,

I'm so sorry that I'm not here to wake up with you. I wanted nothing more than to see your beautiful eyes open and then ask me for breakfast, but I had to go into the studio today to help out with some things. I should be home around noon, and you're welcome to stay if you would like. Of course, you don't have too, but I would love to come home to you. Kyla is working and won't be home until tonight so you wouldn't have to deal with her. If you stay(which I hope you will), there is plenty of cereal and other foods in the kitchen, so help yourself. I know we have a lot to talk about, but I would love to put it off as long as possible just to get a few more moments with you like last night. Please text me to let me know if you're leaving or going back to Glen's because I don't want to get my hopes up, come home, and have to see you not there. I would hate that. Hopefully, I will see you soon. I love you.

Ashley

She would be back in an hour, so I decided to stay, just to make her happy. I got out of the bed, and remember that Ashley gave me a pair of sweats to wear instead of my jeans last night. They were very comfortable.

I went into the kithen and grabbed some cereal. As I ate, I texted Ashley that I was staying here.

She replied:

:D Great. I can't wait to see you.

I smiled at the text and continued to eat.

When she came home, I was in the living room, sitting on the couch, with a blanket draped over me.

"Are you aware of how incredibly adorable you are?" She asked as she set her keys in the bowl by the front door.

"Uh no, I'm not aware of that." I smiled.

"Well now you are." She sat next to me on the couch.

We stared goofily at each other for awhile, but I had to say something. "Ash…"

She looked at the ceiling. "I know, I know."

"Let's go back to Glen's. I need to shower."

"Wait, what? You don't want to talk?"

"No, not yet. We'll put it off for a couple hours, like you said in your note."

She smiled. "Okay."

I showered and Ashley and I were currently seated on Glen's couch, watching TV. I wasn't interested in what we were watching because all I could think about was this beautiful brunette next to me.

The doorbell rang, so I stood to answer it.

When I opened the door, I saw my other brunette, who I had cheated on the night before.

My stomach dropped and I couldn't make out coherent words. "S-Sam?"

She smiled, her hazel eyes looking back at me. "Surprise."